Thursday, March 29, 2007

save room by john legend

Ignore the xxx-scenes in the beginning if youré the squishy type.

He makes my blood flow

Mmmmm....anyone in a lovey-dovey mood should try listening to john legend. He's a real smooth crooner. He just has to stand in front of me and i'll melt into a puddle!! these are two of my favourite songs from his latest album. the first is we dont'care, the second is called save room.

Isn't he hot?

Little britain

ok, after days of trying to post some videos, i finally got it right. yeah, yeah, i'm an old makcik who's not tech-savvy.
below is a scene from one of my favourite comedy shows, little britain. it makes fun of everyone in the uk, and this is one of my favourite characters, CArol beer.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

my broken spirit

How do you tell a person who's just insulted you that enough is enough? That you would never insult a person about their physical traits or the way they speak/behave? I can't. I can never tell a person off, unless i am absolutely furious with rage, and let the person have my anger. I did it once, and i never want to do it again. The effect it had on both me and the scolded person was a lesson i learned in my young age.
I am naturally an easy person to get along with.I'm quiet, unassuming,i mind my own business and generally i wouldn't give a damn about how you look like, what your family background is, and what you're working as, as long as you are a good person and i can trust you. I also seldom make fun of people, but when i do, the other person has a right to insult me back.
Very few people have ever insulted me about my height, and i am very sensitive about that.They were either insulting me behind my back, or just didn't care how tall i was. But i get extremely pissed off when people insult me just to make themselves feel good, or to boost their f***ing low self-esteems high. They may just be joking with me, or unintentionally say things, but you know what, the things that comes out from your mouth tells me a lot of things about your character.
If i could have insulted them till they cried, i would. But i would just be as bad as them, and i would degrade myself to the level of a teenage schoolgirl. To all those people who get teased in whatsoever way till they feel bad about themselves, don't worry. I know how you guys feel. At the ripe old age of 26,i'm supposed to be busy with other things, but instead i have to vent my anger on this blog.
And to all those people who deliberately/non-deliberately insult others, insult behind our backs, or if you do want to insult us to our face, at least have the guts to admit to yourself that your own self-esteem sucks like a stagnant water drain.
On my part, i realise that i can be too sensitive at times. I tend to take comments about my height/weight as a personal insult. I also realise there are a lot of bitchy people in the world. I have tried very hard since my uni days to dismiss the hurt i feel. I have very much improved since my teenage days, but i still feel the sting now and then. It hurts, of course it does, and for that is why i am extra careful about making people close to me. Once you learn, you never forget.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

psychiatry part 2

i'll be doing my last week of psychiatry soon. And after this...Family medicine. Scary!

The lazy bug is still in me. This afternoon i went to the hospital to clerk patients for tomorrow's presentation. I was in the geriatric ward and had to find pts aged 65 and above. clerking the elderly is a bit like clerking young children, you have to be patient with both. I spent 3 hours in the afternoon just looking for suitable cases, and am totally tired now.
Last week i went to a geriatric clinic to see how patients are managed. There was this cute little old lady who came from a nursing home. She was about my height (which is short), her hair was short and parted to one side, and she had big bottle glasses on her face. She was absolutely a darling! THe moment she walked in, yuhana and i were just looking at her. And when she sat down, she said 'adoi'. She also had a high pitched voice, not exactly like alvin and the chipmunks, but a few tones lower. Which made her more adorable. What makes her stand out is that there is a cheerful expression on her face, and you can see that if you were to talk to her, she would be more than happy to. Yuhana started a conversation with her, and she was talking cheerfully. Then she got to the part where she said that she was put at the old folks' home because her children and grandchildren were too busy too look after her, and that they seldom see her. Then my eyes started tearing up. if one were to go to an old folk's home, its an eye opener. Most of the old folks are very happy that youngsters come to see them. The sadness on their faces disappears for a little while.
It was the same thing at the geriatric clinic that day. Most of the patients who came in had a sad feeling/sad aura. Even though on the outside they look okay, but you can see that it hurts them that they have no one to take care of them. Maybe there is a reason why some of them are put at old folk's home, for example, they need extra care round the clock, and there's no one at home who can do that. Or, they have some form of delirium/dementia. But if they are put there for no good reason, its not a good thing to do, yeah? I have a grandma at home who has sacrificed so much for me in my 26 years. Every time i come back to kch, she would pamper me as usual. So, the thought of me putting her in an old folks' home is just unimaginable. THe same can be said for my parents. I'm not judging or condemning anyone, i just think its sad that we don't take care of them after what they've done for us.
Speaking of which, i personally hope that children who've been brought up from orphanages do well in life. Yeah, i seldom go to orphanages, but secretly i pray that they will succeed in life, get scholarships to study and help their homes in turn. Sometimes i get upset when things don't turn out my way/i always demand too much from my parents. At other times, i feel lucky that i do have parents, and that i'm blessed enough to do what i love, and to have the 3 essential things any human being should have.
When we read stories/books in the paper about young children in africa who are made to be soldiers for warlords, or who are raped or orphaned at a young age, that's when i realise that life is bigger than just caring about myself. I hate it when i read about circumcision for girls, and the fact that most children in the world don't have a proper education, a proper home, and so on. I can't do anything about it for the moment, but it has made me to be a less selfish person, and to be happy with what i have.
I saw pan's labyrinth last week, and primeval and mr. bean this week. Pan's is quite a depressing story, but the script is excellent, and it just wants to tell that hell can also occur on earth. The actors are good, and when i watched the movie, it made me think of the japanese occupation in malaya. Ofelia's father, the captain, had his own tools of torture, which made me cringe! primeval is you basic killer eater croc, but it also had a background story about the warfare going on in africa. As for mr. bean, sometimes i was irritated with his action, and sometimes it was so funny i was laughing like a hyena. its sad that this will be his last movie....he has inspired me to try and drive a mini cooper at least once...i'll try my best to find a mini cooper owning friend in kch.
I'm really tired, will nap soon. The trailer for pirates 3 is excellent. How can anyone not fall in love with captain jack sparrow? He's such a charmer.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

too many As

once again the result season is out. The nationwide hunt to find out who the top scorer is starting. The highest number of subjects taken is 19. out of the hundreds of thousands of canditates, only less than 200 take more than 12 subjects. shall i start my criticism?

What were those students thinking? That by taking more than 12 subjects and scoring as many As as possible, will give them an advantage over a candidate that takes only the necessary subjects? I asked my classmate this question, and she thought that maybe they are not sure about what they want to study next. True, its possible. i have no doubt that they are the brainiest students our country has, and that it was hard work alone, and a bit of genetics, that got them their wonderful results. But some students in the science stream are also taking general science, and other minor papers that got them the extra As. General science is basically for the arts stream, and a simplified version of the science subjects that they learned. I don't get it. Why torture yourself by taking so many subjects? of course its a challenge, academically, but what about other things in life? Again, ppl would say that these students also excel in their co-curricular studies, being president of this club, and that club....The point of all my criticism is that students should just take the subjects which they really need, and maybe are interested in. I think the rush to obtain scholarships to study overseas is the major factor in this rush for As.
I still feel lucky that my spm was in the 90's. During those times, the highest result achievable was 9 or 10A1s. and i had a lot of fun in my form 4 and form 5, no thanks to a zany bunch of friends.
I do hope the Education Ministry won't encourage this trend of taking too many As. There are a lot of other things we need to do to ensure our youngsters become good adults. For example, teaching them to be courteous,polite, and not to be so kiasu. Just look at the malaysian drivers and the number of accidents that are increasing. There is also a need to have our students to think broad mindedly, to look at the world affairs, and to develop their habit of speaking what is on their minds, to be creative, to be confident, and to increase the standard of english. So many things that we can improve on, and its not just the results on paper that will make everything work for us.I say all of the above, because that's where i feel that i lack, and even though i've improved a bit, i can't compare myself to those graduates from european or american unis. My problem, till today is the fear of making my opinions known, of keeping quiet during a discussion even though i have many things to say. And also, i know no one will teach us manners, no one will tell us when to be courteous. But we can learn from the people around us, can't we? The Education Ministry keeps saying that it wants to improve the education system in the country, but it keeps saying that yearly, and i think the ones that will suffer in the end will be the youngsters.
It will be the end of my orthopaedics posting, and i'm glad i'm gonna finish it. its fun, but i don't see myself realigning patient's bones. Can you imagine little ol'me realigning the bones of a patient with a build like the Rock? Last week, my aunts and cousins watched Akademi Fantasia. I didn't bother watching it because its so predictable. But i've watched Heroes, and i think its not bad at all. I HAVE to watch a movie this weekend. My brother's coming down, and i'm trying to encourage him to either watch Pan's labyrinth or Primeval. Me and crocs just get along well.
Primeval is based on a real life story. There's this croc that lives in Zambia and his name is Gustav. He's apparently eaten 300 people so far and is still at large. He developed a taste for humans as a result of the war in zambia, where bodies were just thrown into the river.
My next posting will be psychiatry, and i have to interview patients in the wards. Previously, i was just seeing patients at the psychiatric ward. Now, i'm supposed to ask them how it feels like to be in the hospital, and how was their reaction when they got the bad news. As long as i get to see some docs that i like in the psych ward, i'm a pretty happy girl!
Another one of my ex-uni mate has just gotten married. This time its Farnidah, congrats to her! Thank god my mum never asks me when i plan to get married/do i have a boyfriend. My aunts just can't wait for me to tie the knot. They want to have another baby in the family....I'm not ready yet. Marriage is a big thing for me. And i don't mind marrying in my 30's.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Semester 8, here i come!

sheesh, its been a long time since i've bothered to write anything down at all. i was just lazy. i had a hell of a time with my exams, i had 2 weeks of a holiday break, and i'm back in seremban again. i enjoyed chinese new year with my family, we had a good dinner while there were fireworks in the sky. i went house visiting with still more food,and i slept and played computer games nonstop. i fell sick during the following week, probably because of too much late night sleeping, and because of that i've to suffer with a blocked nose. All my batchmates passed the exams, and it was a really good feeling, we've been made to suffer for quite some time. The euphoria is short-lived, however, as my batch is currently getting a beating by our lecturers again. It is quite frustrating sometimes to forget whatever that you've learned. Take me for example. i'm starting with ortho again, and despite it being my last posting last semester, i still can't remember some crucial stuff. And it doesn't help when your other group memebers are also brainy as well. my major problem in ortho has to be the nerve injuries, it keeps slipping from my mind. And i heard my mates in other postings are also getting a beating from the other lecturers. Sometimes it would be nice to just about keep everything in your head, isn't it? i thought semester 8 would be nice, but it turns out tougher than semester 7. well, its 4 months of me in seremban, then i get to go back to kuching for another 2 months to complete my selectives and electives.

I wonder why ilove characters in fiction books. Take for example my crush on this character called pendergast (created by douglas preston and lincoln child). He is described as being tall, with pale skin, pale blond hair and blue eyes. He comes with a high IQ, comes from a southern family that happens to be rich and mad at the same time, and is an FBI agent. And i can't get enough of this guy. Another character i'm attached to is called lincoln rhymes, but i forgot who is author is. He also has the same characteristics as pendergast, but he is a tetraplegic. If i could, i would buy all the books i'm interested in. I also had a good time watching movies. The next movie i want to watch is called Primeval, about a 20 foot long croc that loves devouring humans. I've watched borat, its funny at times, and really stupid at times. No wander Kazakhstan is angry with the movie.

Did Martin scorcese deserve an oscar for best director? Yes. But i don't think his movie deserved a best picture. The malaysian stars were, ironically dressed in evening gowns and tuxedos to have a glitzy breakfast while watching oscars. Sometimes you wonder who comes up with all these sort of ideas. My house nearly got robbed again, and i'm pissed off, because it seems that certain humans just want to have an easy life taking other people's things. And the thief attempted to open the window to the study room where i play my pc games every night.

Lent has also started and i'm on my best behaviour this season. Since i didn't observe lent last year, i'll try my best this time around. I wish that some priests would be more interesting when they preach, but i guess some things never change.