it is now my 3rd week in seremban. how do i feel?
c. extremely stupid
i am now housemates with lali, natalia, meera and kar seng. the house where we are staying is pretty big, so much so that on the first week itself there was some sort of pseudo-robber that wanted to come in our house.
life in clinical school is a very different contrast to that of BJ. whereas i could play around in bj, here its more of getting down to business. i sort of regretted of not doing anything worthwhile during my two months in kuching, but without my break, i would definitely get burnt out by now.
my batch is divided into 3 postings, namely internal medicine, general surgery and family medicine. i am in surgery along with 2 other housemates. it is not a relaxed posting, as we should ideally start working hard during the first week itself, but i am quite happy doing this posting.
there are a lot of 'firsts' for me during the 3 weeks here; 1st time going in to the operation theatre (OT), first time seeing endoscopy, first time doing a lot of things basically. And we have to do 95% of our own studies.that is hard, because you can choose to learn everything in medicine, or learn only specific topics. and because medicine is so broad,sometimes when i think of the things i study i feel sick.
and during the first week itself, i had a culture shock, knowing what hard work i need to do in seremban, and i sometimes wonder if i had actually made the right choice doing medicine. now, i think i should be adjusting ok to life here.
a typical day in my life goes like this:
6.30 am- try to wake up from sleep
7.30am- walk to school
8 am- be in the wards to clark patients
10 am- go to ot/endo rm to see procedures
break for lunch
5pm-drag my aching feet back home
7pm- if there is on-call , will go to on call
9.30pm- arrive home. chit chat, eat, blah blah
10.30 pm- try to rearrange clarking notes and try to study a bit
it also doesn't help that the lecturers here will gleefully do their best to make you feel stupid ( they always do), but we all know their intentions are for the best. sometimes i feel scared opening my mouth to awnser a question because i know the lecturer is so vastly experienced compared to me. but what can i do, i will gladly take the humiliations for another 2years :)
1 thing good about my life now is that i TRULY appreciate my weekends. i will gladly stay in bed and loiter about the house for a whole day. and now i also appreciate wearing sandals and flipflops on weekends cos now i have to wear formal shoes all the time. sigh...........