its 2 more days to christmas!!!

I've finally made it past my phase 1 of studies, now i've got around 2 months to chill and enjoy myself at home. here's what i plan to do :

1. workout as much as i can so i balance the enormous intake of food i eat

2. take up squash lessons as my technique sucks

3. play all the computer games in my house

4. restring my guitar and attempt to play a nice tune

5. visit my grandparents kampung house in Sri aman

6. Read all the novels i've missed

7. Go back to my kampung and see all my relatives

8. visit all my old friends

9. attempt to learn how to cook so i won't starve myself in seremban

10. download music for my mp3 player (yay!!!!!!!)

11. go for a holiday (maybe?)

12. sleep like a cow everyday

i'm going back on saturday afternoon, and immediately when i come home i'm having an xmas party with my family. itis so exciting to celebrate xmas at home with everyone. and the fact that i've not been home for a year. i think i've got the present i wanted for xmas, and so have all my cousins. Finding gifts for friends and family is tough, you really don't know what to get them, and whether they willl actually appreciate what you got for them.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! Jingle bells, Santa smells, lalalalala....

The last day of lectures

Today is the last day...



That M203 will be having lectures

Will be shouting the name PHANG in class

Will be seeing each and every person in class

That i will be eating at the rooftop with my friends



Its only 2 more weeks to the finals. Most people were so stressed out over their exams that they forgot to bring their own cameras for the phototaking shoot today.

its painful that i will not see all of my classmates for a long time after this. Most of them will be scattered all over the globe, and i honestly don't think itll be that easy to catch up with them again.

who would've thought that it would be over so fast?

bruised but not out

Finals is in 3 weeks time and already both my eyes are bulging out from exhaustion. My stress level was at its highest peak today, and i couldn't concentrate at all during pbl. i have so many things i want to do after exams: a trip to sunway waterpark, and a holiday somewhere (hopefully bangkok). i have no idea why i'm so fascinated with bangkok, it seems so mysterious and exciting.

i had a lecture yesterday about physical abuse and boy, was it informative. I didn't know, for instance, that there were more shelters for animals in our country than there were for abused women. its kinda ironic, isn't it, that we should care more for animals than we do for our own folk. and a few days ago, i read that the only shelter for abused men in our country has closed.

there are so many reasons why women don't dare tell that they've been abused. What makes me angry is that after they've disclosed their sufferings, they will actually be blamed for it. Maybe their relatives will accuse the women of not being good housewives and mothers, and most people in society will reject them after that. i find it truly unfair that women have to go through so much in life.

1. We have to maintain our physical image, especially in Asia as i think asian men are more critical of looks

2. We are under pressure to get married one day. If we don't all our relatives will think that there's something wrong with us

3. We have to endure the pain of childbirth. something that scares me to death whenever i think about it.

4. We have to bring up the kids, be a good wife and maintain household order. We also have to maintain our shapely figure, lest our husbands' eyes start to stray.

5. life is much harder when we are single mothers, we often don't get the support we get, and we get stigmatised for not being good housewives.

6. we encounter sexual advances at the workplace, or anyplace else.


Therefore, if any guy shall attempt to physically/mentally abuse me, i shall be ready with my sarcasm and my frying pan!

Of curries and Kuih

its been a long time since i've posted anything here. Once you stop writing, you feel so lazy to do it that it almost becomes a chore for you. but i miss my blog, and i miss interacting with it. seriously it has become a part of me that letting my blog die is like letting a small part of me die. i had this conversation today about blogs, and i'm thinking whether personal blogs are better than public blogs. the thing about personal blogs is that you can write whatever the heck you want about Everything, and no one will bother you about it. Public ones are great when you have visitors coming up to check on your blog and giving interesting comments about what you write. I dunno...sometimes i wished that my blog would be more personal, but sometimes i feel like it would be boring if no one else were to read it.

The raya and deepavali holidays ended last week, and my house is full of cookies. its bad cos nowadays with all the exam stress i tend to shove all sorts of food inside my mouth. my pimples are also coming back, not the small ones, but the sporadic and huge mushroom types. the good thing about these types of pimples is that they tend to go off sooner. the bad- Everyone notices them and has to make a comment about it, especially if its smack in the middle of your forehead!

I went to some open houses during deepavali, totally enjoyed myself eating bryani rice and mutton curry, only this time the curries at most houses seem a bit bland, i think they put less santan in it for health reasons. I saw Pitch Black for the first time and man...does Vin Diesel have a great body!! If only they'd put vin diesel and the rock in a movie together, i'll be the first one to line up at the cinemas. Pontianak harum s.m totally freaked me out, and i had to sleep with the lights on. i find it amazing that malaysia has SO many types of ghosts. i never in my life would want to cross paths with a ghost, but i would like to see pics of one. There are haunted tours being conducted in kl, and if i have the time and money, i'd like to go on one. i do believe in some aspects of the ghost stories that people tell, but as to how they can inflict death on ppl makes me a little bit sceptical. i guess i rely on god to protect me from all this kind of stuff. i know it always seems like i contradict myself, but i guess that's how i am!

Creep


When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather,
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special,
you're so fucking special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong here

She's running out the door,
she's running,
she run, run, run, run, run.

Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special,

but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.

by Radiohead


This rates as one of my favourite angsty songs. Alanis Morissette can't be beat though. If you're feeling shitty and feel like nothing's going right, this song expresses your emotions for you.

choclolate toxicity

My stomach feels queasy now because of the chocs i ate last night. i think it was too late at night to eat chocs. i wonder how the world would be like if the mayans didn't discover cocoa. How would our society be?? would our sex lives be dismal? would we be gorging ourselves on chips the whole day, and would we still be a bunch of barbarians??? i'm so grateful for the chocolates that have ever been made (not dark ones though).

I've watched Doom last week, and hope to watch the Corpse Bride and Chicken Little the next week. Doom is basically your kill and shoot movie, its based on the video game of the same name. I think the only reason i watched it was because of the Rock and Karl Urban, and of course, the popcorn. i saw the chicken little trailer and boy, he's a really cute chick. i know the movie is for kids but who cares... give me a bag of popcorn and i'll be happy.

The pms matching results are out, and i've come to realise that i only have 5 weeks to see everyone in class. its going to feel so weird not being with close friends, and to start another new chapter in life.

EOS is coming in 6 weeks time. i have given up hope of studying everything. instead, i'll just be focusing on what i think has a higher chance of coming out. to make matters worse, the first week after raya i'll be having mock osce, and i didn't even know it until today.i'll have to make do with what i have. Everyone is super stressed and running around in circles. i have felt my bp slowly but surely rising as the exams come calling!along with this, large amounts of junk food are entering my mouth and depositing on my thighs. The culprits are chocs, cakes and keropok. i don't know why, but eating while studying is SO enjoyable.

Next week National Geographic will be airing an interesting documentary about the origins of man. We all know that man is descended from one ADAM, but just how did ADAM look like? the possible theory is that we mankind originated from africa, and migrated to all corners of the earth. Along the way, our genetic structures were modified to adapt to the land we lived in. In asia especially, it is found that millions of men have one original Big Daddy-Genghis Khan. Due to Genghis's conquering ways of both women and land, he manages to sire lots of kids. I think it would be great to find out who my ancestors are. it would be great having genghis as my great granddaddy though, its like a piece of history is embedded within you.

the health issues are so boring...we're supposed to watch a movie called outbreak and i don't think i've seen it before. most of the time in class i just sit with my head in the clouds.

bipolar disorder

whew...i've just finished my cns exam. it is not easy...i repeat...IT IS NOT EASY!!!!

i look something like a corpse bride right now (minus the fabulous figure). i'm really tired, i feel like sleeping right on the com keys . Yesterday our beloved PM's wife passed away. i was quite shocked when they announced it on the radio because i assumed that she was getting better. i watched the entire burial process on tv, and its pretty interesting how it was done. plus, i've never seen the ministers close up. may she rest in peace.

i have lost a kg just because of the stupid exam. its kinda good to lose it, but i will no doubt gain it again by this weekend. why did i say the exams was hard? because there's so much to learn and yours truly studied really last minute for it. a whole question just about bacteria came out, and i managed to 'shoot' pretty well. unfortunately, my ospe went haywire,and ironically i'm gonna lose a lot of marks from there. i have no idea what i'm going to get, but i rate the toughness on par with renal.

i have now become a fan of zombie movies! i watched dawn of the dead, and man, was it good. there's another movie called 24 hours which is almost similar. its really realistic and you can actually imagine the world like that in the future. i 've also watched sound of thunder, and would advise potential moviegoers to stay away from it!!!

this morning i watched a program about japan called "naked festival" its held once a year to bring away all of japan's bad luck. all the bad luck is transferred to a guy called the monk, who has to run naked on the city streets and being chased after by 10,000men. if they succeed in touching any part of him, they can get rid of their bad luck. and all these men are also naked and drunk. Japan fascinates me, simiply because their culture is just so unique.

and a few days back in the local papers, they ran an article about what sort of food one eats determines ones character. for example:

a person who loves to eat steak- in an angry mood

loves to eat cakes and biscuits- sexually frustrated/deprived

loves to eat ice-cream, chocs, cookies- is filling up an empty void within

i'm actually a combo of all the 3 above, so poor me!

i'll be going on an eating spree again this weekend, and next week i have to embark on a dieting regime. its really hard to eat all sorts of fatty food while trying to maintain the same weight.

A week of expression

A week has come and gone by, and there has been so much going on. the imu cup has officially ended last tuesday, and the sem 3's have won. i went to watch the cheerleading contest that night, and i'm glad i went. the pharm students gave a really good performance, and they were all so synchronized. Almost all of them had the same body size and gave a very splendid performance. i was very proud of my batchmates who performed that night. We had the spirit and determination to succeed. we deserved to win the cheerleading contest. the sad part is that we lost the overall champioship to sem 3 by only 2 points. there were some sports that we should have won, but alas, things aren't meant to be. all the students who participated in the games deserve a round of applause because at the end of the day, having fun and making friends is what matters most.

i have not been exercising this week, and my body parts feel flabby. i love it when i'm exercising cos my muscles feel toned, and i do feel more lithe. i will go jogging tmr morning, cos i seem to be eating nonstop again. i'm kinda sick of guys judging a girl's appeal by the size of their bodies. i do admit that physical appearance is important, but hey, all girls can't be as stick thin as kate moss, can they? and do guys ACTUALLY prefer those kinds of girls? i dunno. been listening to some angstsy songs lately, and i love 'Creep'by Radiohead. it conveys all my emotions, feeling like an idiothead, and not belonging anywhere in society. i sometimes feel that its really tiring to make everyone like you and respect you. i am the type of person that doesn't really care much, actually. i guess i have been foraging in the jungles of Sarawak too long to care about what other people think. I'm just joking...but yeah, as long as i know i have good friends, its all right. And if someone does call me a b*****, i guess i'll take it as a compliment. i must've intimidated them so much to be actually called one.

Went for the art competition today, and enjoyed myself listening to poems. A number of my classmates won, so i'm pretty glad for them. The dikir barat performances and choir were superb, and i am amazed again that there are so many talented people in this uni. amazing...its like they were blessed with everything. before i went to sleep last night,i was thinking about the people around me,and somehow i realised that each and every one of them has a talent. it may be obvious, it may be subtle, but its there. and talent comes in all forms; whether its brains, sports, music, people skills, each and every one of us was given something precious by God. I think most of us don't realise we have it, it takes other people to see it. anyway, the MC for todays artcom. was so lame, and he seems to have fun mocking and making fun of everyone. but who am i to judge? maybe he was nervous, maybe he didn't prepare himself. whatever it is, i was torn between crying and wanting to throw a javelin at him. i think the latter would be a better choice.

God's Mooncake

Boy, have i been procrastinating a lot. i'm still amazed that despite all my years of studying, my study methods have never improved. I can still sit at my table for hours, with not a single detail going into my head. Instead, i'm just daydreaming away. Horrible, isn't it? CNS is into its 3rd week, and i'm plowing along. the csu for this system is the toughest so far. i've had a grilling from one of the lecturers about the cranial nerves, and i'm very scared of the osce. NOt knowing your stuff is one thing, but to really feel like a fool is another thing. and that csu lecturer had a fun time making us feel stupid. one thing that irked me though, is the lecturer's very straightforward way of asking q's. THis is one weird question he asked someone in my group:

Lect: Why are you so short? Who in your family member is short?

Student: I think its my mom

Lect: Who else in your family is short? Your brothers/sisters?

Student: ONly me, i guess

Lect: Do you actually know why you're short?

Student: (Bewildered look on face) No....

I guess its okay to ask a question like that, but it did strike as being a bit crass to me. If anyone were to ask me that question, i'd reply that i'm related to Gimli the dwarf, and i'm very proud to have warrior blood in me (not to mention rich relations!

I went to church last weekend, and it was no big deal for me. I somehow wish more priests would not scold the congreggation so much. we do have the right to be scolded, but i think a softer approach would be better. i always remember Fr. Hanrahan who was so gentle and soft spoken, and what he said would go into my thoughts.At the end of mass, the church gave out free mooncakes to everyone. i was bowled over! If you all remembered, i was lamenting that i wouldn't be able to eat mooncakes this yr because my mom thought it was too fattening. So, i did view the mooncake as a gift from god, and told my mom so. She was telling me that this is proof that god does know each and every one of us, and all we have to do is have faith in him and trust him. I do hope you all know how i feel, there are just some things in my life that i do find inexplicable, and to be honest, god really does surprise me at times.

I am dying for my cns anatomy. it doesn't help that all the notes are just pictures,and nothing else. the foreign accents and the frieght train speed that the lectures are carried out are not much of a help either. i am now beginning to realise the enormous importance of the brain, and yes, it is definitely the toughest system.

Imu cup will be over by next week, and my batch is trailing behind the juniors. i wouldn't worry about it though, i know we will get through. I am now hopelessly broke as a result of continuously eating out at lots of fatty places. i went swimmming at the bj aquatic centre last tue and man, where there a lot of hot bods around! I am now regretting that i didn't go there sooner. its a nice change for once to see other faces outside of imu (with nice bodies to boot). i have no idea why i'm still scared of swimming in deep places though. the moment i know its deep, i feel panicky and actually can't swim. i must get rid of my phobias.

spasmic

My hamstrings are aching, my msk results will be out in 10minutes time, i haven't started studying properly for cns, i'm having csu in 10 mins time, and the girls futsal retained their champioship title for 3 years running! What a week.

i am still trying to weasel my way out for the running event by having more people do the tryouts. somehow my libido for imu cup has totally gone down this year. i have not been participating in a lot of things, and i don't feel the semangat to watch majority of the sports. And, as a result of not warming up properly last week, i sustained a hamstring stretch that still hasn't healed till today. What am i going to do? i figure if i were to run anyway, i'd just start sprinting midway through the track like a pack of wild dogs has chased me. nevermind that I AM the slowest,i'll just run like a rabid wild dog and see how it goes.

i haven't been studying all that properly for cns. there are just too many things to distract me. Went to see the girls futsal yesterday,and man, do we deserve to win the title. Ken lin was in her prime, i'm sure if it was only her against an entire team, she would still be able to score goals. Everyone who was on the team was equally good last night, they complimented each other perfectly. Suk yii and jo screamed their lungs out for ken lin . I feel so proud of my batch and how they have this fighting attitude. Today will be the relay race, and i'm sure they'll be able to do it.

My dinner last night consisted of 2 slices of cake and some naan bread. unhealthy, but sometimes when its past your dinnertime, you just don't feel like eating solid food. Talked a lot of crap as usual, and i'm surprised that my friends think i'm really dirty-minded. i told them i used to be, but now i've handed over the title to my other friends! More amusing was the fact that they think i'm a pro at watching risque' movies, and were shocked to hear that i'm still innocent! I must say, my reputation precedes me...now i've got to maintain it.

oh yeah, about the former datuk stockbroker who was free of all charges of killing his chinese nephew, i'm not sure what to say. it reminds me of the noritta samsuddin case. there are two things to learn from it though; the defense team must've done a heck of a good job making his client look innocent. And the prosecution must've fumbled somewhere. i wont' say about who deserves to win, but what caught my attention was the anguish of the boy's parents. they deserve to know what actually happened to him, and it breaks my heart to see things like this. Sometimes humans are actually not very different from animals. the extent of cruelty that we can inflict on other, including other living creatures, is amazing.what makes us different is that we KNOW we are wrong, but still keep doing it anyway.

Creep

I've had quite a fabulous weekend, and because of that, the 1kg that i had lost during my food poisoning came back on. Its never a good thing, especially when your jeans and trousers feel tight again. Doh!

I went for the track and field trials last fri,and to my dismay, i find out that i am no longer as fast as i used to be. I do blame my hostel and ss17 during my um years, because it was really sports unfriendly. there were no parks to run, and the only exercise i got was walking 10 minutes to buy my rm 2.30 food and coming back again to my hostel. 4 years of no exercise at all, how sad is that?On the bright side,i am confident that my batch will do so much better than last years performance. the sprint queens are running, and the guys are also fast. Wei woon and Phang were really fast. I told a few classmates about Phang's running abilities, and they were quite impressed. Now, there is an unofficial Phang fan club and i heard a banner might be made for him should he run this time. But i seriously do respect him, and you just have to see him run to believe me. I unfortunately might be running for the 400 relay, an event i do not really like because at the end of the lap i just feel like throwing myself on the ground and lying there. it feels like your chest has been squeezed and there's no oxygen left for you to breathe.

Later that night, i had a choc binge for the dolphin and the tortoise. its a shame that only langkawi can sell duty free chocs. My faves are the swiss orange choc. surprisingly, choc and oranges do go well together. we ended up watching lots of corny tv and talking till our voices (mine, actually) went hoarse. Went to sleep at 4 am, and woke up 4 hours later and finding out that my mom wants me to go to midv with her.

I went to watch the movie Creep and its so-so, i give it 6 out of 10. The main star is Franka Portente,last seen in the bourne conspiracy. i find franka's face arresting. she is not drop dead gorgeous, but there's somthing about her face that makes you want to look at her more and more. its basically about her wanting to get on the last train but having fallen asleep, she goes on one in which she is the only passenger. its quite creepy if you're one of those people who use the railway systems often. and the monster in this movie looks like gollum.

Then, i went to MPH and had a fun time with books. i bought 3 books about the life of Adrian Mole, for 70 bucks only. really worth it! after my exams next year, i plan to spend just an entire day there and read books, so i wouldnt' have to waste money on them. there are quite a lot of new novels coming out which are pretty interesting. I also went to the romance self-help corner (couldn't help myself!) and find it amazing that there are so many books that are trying to help the hapless humans of the world in the matters of love. It can either make you happy or make you depressed. i was happy for one thing though, the book i wanted to buy for a long time- Haiku for Lovers - is finally available. its not that horny, but even if you're single you would still find the book a nice read.

After that, my mom wanted to go to cinnabon, so okay, and the next thing i'm ordering a choc cinnabun and a coffee flavored cinnamon drink. the waiters there are mostly from borneo, and the instant i walked in with my mom they started playing sabahan music. Seriously, i am not being perasan because it has happened to me at least twice. before we came in there was no music at all. i think its quite nice of them to do that, but i should have told them i'm from Sarawak. the next time i go there i'll bring my iban tapes along and tell them to play it when i'm around. Any of you wishing to hear ethnic music should come with me to Cinnabon one day.

On sunday,i spent the morning swimming and trying to undo my muscle aches from last fridays run. then i slept most of the time. In the evening my bro came back from kch, so i had my share of kch food *orgasmic sigh* i also got a look of how my cousin's wedding went. i still wished i was there, weddings are always interesting and fun. the wedding was at the bride's longhouse, and practically my whole kampung went. it takes about 4 hours to reach there. the bride looked very pretty , and my cousin looked okay. i am going to remind him that he needs to lose weight though. i have finised the first diary of adrian mole, i am now in the second book. its quite funny in a dry british way. C'est la vie!


Theme song for this week: Feel Good by Gorrilaz

Happy days

Yeah, this is me in my past life



i've been blogging about so much depressing stuff that i'm kinda sick of it too. Its the beginning of fall for the western countries, and for me, its the beginning of my mooncake chow down. so far, my mom has resisted all efforts to buy me one, for fear it will add on to my thigh and my butt. i don't know about you guys, but my favorites are the ones where its made out of flour skin and you have to keep it in the fridge. If it comes with a double egg yolk, so much the better!

Oh yeah, IMU cup is coming soon.some games have already started, but i feel like its muted down this year. Probably because the sem 2s and sem 4s are not back yet. its always interesting to take part. I am really not sure if i am going to run this year, there will be a practice tmr. I just hope i can go for the 4x100. if not, maybe the 4x400, though i'm not so keen on the latter. for me its just the sheer fun of doing something else other than studying.And its something to do before i go away from BJ.

i just got my new id card today. its a bit different from the old one. For example, at the back of my card they have put down the standard precautions that must be remembered by students:

1.Handwashing
2.Personal protective equipments
3.Prevention of needle stick

Maybe one day if i do have a concussion, i will thank my uni for reminding me of what i'm supposed to do.

the neuro system has just started this week, and i'm feeling relaxed. the one thing i find amazing was that on the first day itself i went to find reference books. when the whole bunch of us went there, the whole shelf was already ransacked by other students 2 days ago. There we were, the bunch of us standing around, gaping at the war torn bookshelves and not knowing what to do. Finally we just picked up whatever books we could find. Its kinda funny actually, cos the bookshelves did look like it was bombed apart by a mortar shell.

my head is spinning for the neuro anatomy. i have no idea what is important and what i'm supposed to study. it doesn't help that only pictures are given,and the lectures are sometimes conducted in incomprehensible language. i still remember in sem 1 when a friend of mine wrote this down: mortar board. it was actually supposed to be motor cord. and she was shaking her head as she was writing this.

i went to the pasar malam again this week, and a friend of mine really likes the assam laksa there, that she has even suggested to me that we steal the assam laksa van. Can you imagine the both of us selling assam laksa in front of the uni? I would prefer steally the FAtty Steamboat van though, as i am so in love with the food!! I might ship one to kuching one day. I am going to see the zombie movie Land of the Dead because i have never seen a zombie movie before, except for resident evil 4, that is.

And finally, i have realised yet again, that i do need god to help me with my daily life. sometimes you think you can solve things on your own, but in the end, if you don't find the external strength that you need, you'll end up being depressed and broken.

Theme song for this week: Wake me up when September Ends (green day)

Hope all of you will have a good week !

my september

summer has come to pass,
the innocent can never rest,
wake me up,
when september ends

by Green Day

Just last night i was sitting in my room and contemplating about death. all the events happening so far, a friend losing a family member, hurricane Katrina, soppy romantic mournful poems, unrequited love not being returned, the mortality of human life, was bogging my brain yesterday. There are so many things i can comment upon, but it would be too much for all of you.

1. Death.

I am afraid of death. i am afraid of dying, be it dying in a car accident, when i'm flying over the South China Sea, or even from food poisoning (i kid you not!). Whenever my family flies here from kuching to kl, i worry about them. i worry that theire flight will be ok. i even worry about my mom when she drives to and fro from work every day. i used to take my family for granted a few years back, but not so much now. i used to not be on really good terms with my mom, but now its ok. i guess god has a funny way of patching things up.

2. New Orleans

I know i've never told you all this, but i used to stay here for half a year when i was 9 years old. my whole family stayed there cos my dad was studying there. The school i went to was all black;i was the only asian there. Everyone assumed i was from China. Thank god they didn't try to speak chinese with me. the only other non black was a white girl. i stayed there from winter till end of summer. During that time, i watched the Mardi Gras parade (got lots of bead necklaces), went for church on weekends, then went walking around the riverside. Lousiana is famous for crawfish, its like a little shrimp and the people there eat it like how we eat kuaci. The French Quarters were very intruiging, there were a lot of strip shows, bars, pubs, cafes. All my classmates were really nice to me, and because i was the smallest girl in class, my teachers were nice to me too, especially during gym time, because i couldn't throw the ball in the basketball hoop. the coach practically had to lift me up for me to dunk the ball in.
When i saw the images on cnn about new orleans, i can't help feeling sad. The majority of people there may be black and may be poor, but they're people all the same, and deserve help. its disgusting to know that even in the superdome, rapes can happen, particularly to small children. Bush as usual, has made a mess out of this situation, and i'm glad his ratings are super low. And i don't think New orleans can ever be rebuilt to its former glory.

3. Unrequited passion

Love comes and goes for every person. For me, i think i'm over it. Frankly, i really am not interested in anyone at all at this moment. I guess i don't have the time to look, and i'm quite fed up of playing a cat and mouse game with guys.And i actually give up on love at the moment.If they liked me, all they have to do is say so in front of my face. it'll save the both of us time. i have been reading soppy poems and hearing stories about luurrrve....so much so that i feel nauseated. As much as i like being a kepochi and as much as i care about the people around me, it just frustrates me everytime i see people getting heartbroken. sometimes i wish love was an easy thing, and i would ALWAYS like to see people getting whom they want. But its not so simple, isnt' it? And if they think their hearts are broken, maybe they should also give a thought to their friends who are supporting them too. I am so fed up of people not getting what they want to the point that if someone asks me what to do, i'll just tell them to try and get to know the person better. then maybe you can see if you REALLY want him/her. A crush is just a crush, nothing else. You're just putting the person on a pedestal without ever knowing him/her. So, to all of you out there reading this, if you know the person and really like the person, GO FOR IT? if he/she doesn't like you back, at least you know before its too late and start mooning like a sick cow.

Oh, and the most amusing thing last night was when my mom was watching Barbwire (Pammie's movie). I don't know what she was concentrating on, because there is no storyline for that movie.

i'm on a break

i really miss writing on my blog. so many useless info that needs to get out of my mind can just splatter here. i'm on a one week break now, just a so called break because its actually meant for all of us to study for the BIG ONE! this is my first week that i've felt relaxed after the rush of msk. and yes, i do agree it wasn't hard. the only difference with gi was that we weren't given time off to study...and i really was super stressed out days before the exam. On that friday itself, i just gave up studying the last bits of notes left. besides, they were playing van helsing on hbo, and who am i to deny his presence??
I thought i did quite well for it...until kar ying came to my house the next day. then i found out i made quite a few dumb mistakes for my mcq. its really frustrating to make those sort of mistakes cos they are so general. Anyway, classmates are busy studying now, and i only think i'll have my mud pie in dec.
i went to victoria's station for steak last sat...best i've tasted so far. even beats the one in TTDI. My fave part of the cow is the rib-eye. I'm glad i'm not a vegetarian. as much as i respect them, my love of meat outweighs all the vegies in the world.

I saw the movie 7 swords on sun. its a pretty good movie, nice cinematography and donnie yen looks hot! i don't really know the female actresses, but the actress who played the korean lady was so pretty. i wonder who she is. i went to pasar malam on tue with a friend, and she was telling me it was so disgusting to see porno movies being sold in the open. i've never really bothered with it, but when i come to think of it, its kinda true. i don't mean to stare at them, just that the vendors somehow push those cd's in your face. Being a girl, its kinda icky seeing another girl plastered naked on the cover. I managed to buy a lot of cd's, and i've 2 zombie movies to watch this weekend, dawn of the dead and land of the dead. The movies that are playing in cinemas now are so boring. i'm just gonna save and watch narnia instead.

My cousin is also getting married this weekend, and i think by early next year i'm gonna be an aunt! It'll so exciting, being an aunt at an early age!! Can't wait to play with the baby. And oh yeah, i heard on the radio station a few wks ago about this joke: Men are sweet, nice, and they go straight to your hips!!

Do not buy Coldplay's latest album, X&Y, or any other CDs by EMI because they contain copy-control technology that will basically prevent you from playing the CDs properly on any systems other than your home stereo. If you play it on your car stereo, or import it into your portable mp3 players, the music will skip or you will hear static every few seconds.
Copy-control sucks!
There are many ways to listen to your favourite bands..*hint hint*.
Until the music companies stop treating legal music buyers like 4 year olds, then they're not getting a single cent of my money.

happy 40th birthday, i think

ahh, i truly regard the man above as my saviour. last sunday, the Star was doing a commentary about our national day, and there was a pic of the Tunku coming out of his house before leaving for Stadium Negara. He looked very regal in his malay outfit, and for a fleeting moment, i felt very indebted and honored to this man. Without him, i wouldn't be sitting here and living life to the fullest. For all you know, you might never even have met me, and i wouldn't know civilization would exist.

I would still be half naked, wearing just a sarong, and tending to the paddy fields in Sarawak. Or, Sarawak would be a part of indonesia and i would really not be studying right now. Maybe my future husband is still roaming the jungles looking for heads to chop off and presenting it to me as a wedding gift. And i'd probably be eating tapioca everyday.

I have never really bothered about National Day since young. to me its just another day off watching boring parades on tv. But as i grow a bit older, i sort of realised that, yeah, it is important to remember it, not so much that i'm not an indon now, but because our forefathers have struggled hard to make us a free people. From containing the japs, to crushing communism, to making sure we all are free people, the politicians of that time did a great job. In fact, sometimes i wished they were still alive. Maybe then we wouldn't have racial divides, discontentment with politics and the lot.





For me being an Iban, this guy above, tun jugah will always be my Father. He made headhunting stop, and made the brits recognise that the ibans were a race to be reckoned with. for the bidayuhs, i'm not sure because as a race, we're very docile ppl. But i'm sure they are some influential leaders around.

Tonight, the PM has urged all malaysians to stand up at 12 midnite to sing Negaraku as a respect for our country. i think i might just do that, if i'm not asleep yet.

my friend

as of yesterday and last night, i had pimples beginning to sprout all over my face, my life was a mess because of msk and its heavy schedule and i was scared of today's mock osce. then who should come a calling but one of my very oldest and bestest friends (formerly bestest best friend). if she reads this, she'll know who i'm talking about.

i haven't talked to her on the phone for 2 yrs (according to her) and haven't seen her for longer than that. but she was back in kch for some family business, and i was really glad she contacted me last night. for once, the shrink herself needs her own shrink. we've known each other since primary school, and when she migrated somewhere else we kept in touch using the old fashioned way, letters. its really fun writing one and anxiously waiting for the other person to reply you back. in those days, all of us were crazy about foreign penpals. the longest lasting i had was a girl from japan called chieko kobayashi and another one from france, beatrice piliez. sadly, its because i was too lazy that we broke off contacts with each other.

my bestest friend was, and still is my lifesaver. when you are bursting of things to tell, and you just need someone to tell it to, that's when she comes into my life. its a vice-versa thingy actually. the fun things was when during my teen years i could moan and bitch to her about my crushes and the people who aggravate me,and she would do the same. Now, i am seldom in contact with her, because e-mails can just be so impersonal at times, and my bloody uni does not have msn.

its great to know that both of us are still kinda alike in some ways....we both have nonexistent social lives,for example. But what i really cherish about her is that she is SO NICE...nicer than me, in fact (if you can belive that) and that i can always count on her to make my day sunshiney. i miss her a lot, as well as i miss my other friends too. And i crapped to her for an hour about what was going in my life so far and the things that just screw it up. AND, i finally got to know what she was actually doing for her masters, what's up with her yada yada. I still do miss her, she's going back next tue, and i don't know when i can actually talk to her in person again.

Its great to know that there will always be someone out there for you. And the fact that last night was RnB night on the radio helps too!

P.S. for those who are feeling fidgety like moi, tune in to radio 4 (100.1 fm) tonight. they've got jazz tonight from 9-12 pm. its a great winding down session. i sure need one after today

Ophiuchus vs. Naked Jungle

NO, i'm not about to write some porn here. These are 2 opposing topics which i'm going to talk about today. i was reading the Mail yesterday, when i found out that there is actually a 13th sign-Ophiuchus.Those born from Nov 30 -Dec 17 are under this star.



This is how Ophiuchus looks like

Ophi was actually Aclepsius, the God of Medicine. Some say it was based on a real man, Imhotep, who was thought to have brought the art of healing to mankind. they didn't put it in with all the other astrological sun signs because it didn't follow the tropical calendar of the other 12. attributes of an Ophi are:

interpreter of dreams, premonitions
attracts good luck
serpent holder
lofty ideals
a seeker of peace and harmony
doctor of medicine or science
to add, increase, join or gather together
poetical, inventive nature, expanding
seeks higher education
overseer, supervisor of work
fame - either grand or completely misunderstood
longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man
architect, builder, reaches for the stars
tax assessor or levys taxes
astrological talents, intuitive
large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young
the number twelve holds great significance
foresight to benefit from hard times
has secret enemies in family or close associations
many jealous of this subject
notable father, apple of father's eye when young
high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death however
feelings of granular, wise,
likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors
receives the favor of those in charge


I don't know whether this is all bullshit or not, but if you are born under this sign, check it out and see if it does fit your persona. Whatever it is...its kind of interesting that i fall under two signs, sagi and ophi. Makes me the grouch i am, especially when i am in my sleepy mode!


Now, for the next title...




i had no idea this movie even existed until i chanced upon it on cinemax. the hero is charlton heston, and he is a plantation owner in South america. he has a heroic task to do, which is ....(trumpets blowing)....to fight against the gazillions of red ants which are destroying everything in their path in the jungle and are coming his way! sounds stupid? it does. but the romance between him and his mail order bride (played by eleanor parker) and also his acting makes up for it. if they had a movie about godzilla in the 1960s, why can't they have a movie about rampaging ants? They're real, and more believable to boot. during the movie, i noticed also about the bra his wife was wearing. it looked so uncomfortable, because it looks like madonnna's cone bra, except not so coney. its a typical macho-man damsel in distress sort of movie, but i enjoyed it because the acting was good and the chemistry between the two actors were believable. i believe most of the romance books that were published were based on movies like this. and with a title like Naked Jungle...how much hotter can it get? The things that amuse my soul!

Another Sinful Weekend

My dad came again last weekend, and since the whole family is here, my mom thought of going to bangsar for dinner on friday night. i have mixed feelings about bangsar now, cos the last time that i went, it was full of all the leng chai euros...the hot and young looking ones. Now they're all gone. its a nice place to hang out with your friends, but not your parents!! we had quite a hard time choosing an eatery cos my mom just wanted some good steak. so, in the end we ended up at telawi street bistro. since i was an idiot and had taken a heavy lunch, i had to settle for the Pocket Lebanese Lamb. My mom had fish and chips and my bro and dad had some steak. the irish beer they served there was good...i don't mind drinking beer like that if its icy cold...hmmm...christmas....Anyway, the prices there were outrageous. my dad's steak cost him around 60 bucks.The good thing about that bistro was the atmosphere though. very relaxed and cosy. The bad? all the euros were balding, middle aged man with paunches. *sniff* but i did check out two waiters that were kinda cute though. they looked like they were international students from india. cute!The next time i end up in bangsar, i'm gonna try out la bodega... since i didn't go there with joyce shia and gang.

The following day, i had another glutten fest...this time it was the somerset grill in TTDI. There was some advertisement about it in the Star that day, and my parents wanted to try the place out. we arrived there about 6.30pm and the place was already full! so, poor us had to go to 1U to do a bit of shopping first. Note: Zara has some really good bargains. its a shame i didn't have any cash with me. When we came back to the restaurant, it took an hour for the food to arrive, but i didn't mind. i had rib-eye, while my dad and bro had t-bone. it was worth all the trouble driving there and finding the place cos it really has good steak, and you can really savour the taste when you chew on it. i was really happy with my rib-eye. in fact, i don't mind coming there again. i've forgotten how steaks from The Ship tastes like, but the somerset grill gets an 8 on my rating scale. for dessert, we had some sort of chocolate cake mixed with caramel and grated coconut...wonderfully tantalizing...i do suggest to anyone who reads this to try out the restaurant. its at jln. tun mohd fuad, next to the kiosk shop.

as for my studies...its quite heavylor..what can i say.evry week have to go to mms and look at all the bones and ligs. all my s'wakian classmates are telling me they're punishing themselves by not going back home for raya hols. i had a funny lecture yesterday by Rs. the OSP is always going off due to some heating problems. he said this" i wonder why the projecter is always going off. i know its hot, but i don't think my slides are that hot to make it burn!' then he laughed to himself. its nice to know that he can laugh at his own jokes, and i do find that very amusing indeed! And for all those kl-ites who fled to penang and langkawi for the weekend to beat the haze, its sorry to note that the haze decided to follow them all the way there! i'll be having csu sessions later, most prob with HA. its lucky that i have mich and pakcik with me, it makes the session more fun.

i can't breathe

Its f****ing hot and smelly and foggy today. its worse than yesterday. when i woke up this morning, i coudn't see a thing at all. the worst haze i remembered was when i was in form 3, the API index in kch reached 1000. at that point, it was basically completely foggy and if you were to go outside the house, you couldn't see the person standing next to you. i did have a fun time wearing my gas mask,and its pretty funny to see everyone doing the same.

i thought our next door neighbours would've learned a lesson from that but nooooooooooooooooooo they still had to cut down and burn more forest. sometimes its really frustrating to think that these people are so ignorant and selfish about the rest of humanity. but if rich countries don't help to eradicate poverty in the world, nothing can be done about this situation. i don't even want to go into the topic of corrupt politicians.

since the start of sem 5 began, everyone has been into their super study mode. i barely see any sort of activity going on. Lots of ppl are stressed out and moody,but then again so am i. its amazing that i hardly do anything impressive now. i don't even have to mood to watch tv.There's just so much to learn for musculoskeletal, that the only thing you can do is breathe and study. And to compound the fact that we have to start revising for EOS and go to mms to look at all the bones and do csu practice, its phoar! Like you're being caught in the eye of a tornado. i am going to keep this mantra in my head....'will go back for christmas. will go back for christmas. will go back for christmas'.

of sexuality

I was watching Little Britain on Astro last night. its an hour long comedy about the various types of people who live in britian. its really funny, and there are only 2 comedians who portray an amazing number of people. there's one sketch where they made fun of the british prime minister having a gay assistant by the name of Sebastian.wow...news alert! i just met up with a pharmacy student who handed me 50 bucks worth of reciepts for squash. it seems all the batches are training very hard except ours. i'm scared.

back to the story... in last nights sketch, the P.M. won another election and they were celebrating at 10 Downing street, and when they were playing this george michael song, sebastian did a slow dance with the pm, and it was really icky. its like 2 lovers, cos sebastian was groping and fondling the pm, and was looking into his eyes. he did kiss the pm though. when i watched it last night, i felt so....i don't know, dirty? I'm okay with gays and les, but the sight of 2 men kissing is kinda disgusting to me. maybe i haven't had enough exposure to this yet. i mean, the concepth of gays and lesbo's together is okay, but when you watch them do an intimate act on tv, you really do feel sick.

yesterday i also read about kenny sia ( s'wakian blogger extrodinaire) and his rantings about long road names in the Star. its funny, because i never bothered about it. but when i looked at the pics he put in the paper yesterday, i was bloody embarassed. apparently all these years i've been in kl, they've changed a lot of names. and its named after all the local heroes. i remember 1 name which had 15 words max! for eg. Jalan Dato' Patinggi Tun Abang Haji Openg. And that's just the standard one.

and lastly, here are my top 10 list of hot rnb male singers.HOT, because they look FINE and got the vocals to match it.

1. Eric benet: ex husband of Halle Berry and absolutely gorgeous. my fave song of his is the duet he did with Faith Evans. he has one of the smoothest and silkiest voices around

2. John Legend: He just released his solo album this yr, and i'm planning to buy it. When he smiles, he just melts me. His songs are really good,and accompanies it with the piano.

3. Usher: I still liked his first album the best. A very charming fellow with the best bod. My fave song- U make me Wanna

4. Joe: He's not really well known, but his crooning is the best. its better than eric benet's. my fave song : Good girls

5. Marques Houston : up coming young star. first noticed him in 'you got served' . excellent dancer like his brother Omarion, and quite a good singer. looks like someone i know.

6. Nelly: this is funny, but i really like his gold teeth. somehow, they make his smile look more cute. He churns out the songs that i like.

7. 50 Cent: i don't really bother if his gangsta-pimpin thing is fake, but his bod is the most toned i've ever seen on mtv. love all his songs, they've got the club beats in it.

8.LL cool J.: he's a bit TOO muscular for me, but in his music videos he always winks, and that's sexy! He's got a nice pair of lips too.

9. Snoop Dogg: nope, i don't think he's handsome, but i do agree that he is very creative when it comes to producing music, and the recent singles he puts out are cool.

10. i actually forgot who was on this number, so if you do have someone in mind, pls tell me

sad

yesterday and today have been sort of bad for me, in terms of emothions. i'm only finding out more about myself. when i'm in a good mood, nothing can burst my bubble. but when i'm really feeling sad/depressed, it feels so bad that my whole world is black.

after reading a friends blog today, i chanced upon my distant relative bernard's blog, and in it were the pic's he took from canada on his recent trip there. you see,since my aunt's family migrated there 5 or 6 years ago, i haven't seen them since, especially my two cousins julian and daryl. i just saw their pics for the first time, and i did feel very sentimental. its just that i haven't seen them since they were in primary school and now they're all grown up and being teens. daryl has become more good-looking; his looks are more to chinese, but a good-looking chinese. juju looks the same...and he's shorter than daryl. my uncle donald looks the same too, but my aunty ann has become plump, and has the exact face like my mom's. i really do miss them, they'll only be coming back to malaysia in 2008. i do hope i can go there and see them instead. i don't keep in touch with them very much, but when you look at the face of person you haven't seen in a long while, your heart does feel broken. sorry if i'm being sentimental...its just that i was quite close to this aunt and uncle...they really treated me like i was their own daughter and did spoil me when i was young. *sigh* but its good to see them after a long time.

today also my friend's father passed away from cancer. she is now in kuching, and i will call her sometime. its sad when a loved one passes away from such a horrible disease... and i can only imagine how she feels now. its hard for her to come back often because her dad was in kch and she's in nz for so long.

i'm also think i'm a rotten person because i haven't kept in touch with most of my friends. and like a bad experience i recently had when i went back to kch, 1 girl probably thought i was too stuck up to keep in touch with her...and so she sort of ignored me when a bunch of us all went out. it hurts a lot because i've known her since primary 6 and she was pretty close to me during my sec school years. my theory is that she was probably scared that i would look down on her, so she decided to diss me off first.

Yesterday my mood swing came on again, and it was so bad i practically felt like a walking lemon. and the haze, oh my god, it came back again. it was so bad that visibility was narrowed to maybe a km only. and this morning the winds were so strong i could literally imagine myself being swept away by it, like the tornadoes and hurricanes we usually see on tv. by the way, i would like to experience them one of these days.

My pbl fasci, dr. R, has a very morbid sense of humor. his is the british type, dry and mocking. but so wickedly funny. he sees malaysia in a Little Emily sort of way. All my pbl mates are nice people,and i do think i will really enjoy my pbl sessions with them. the icing on the cake yesterday had to be dr. RS, who said in class "by the time women are 40 years and above, they will begin to have many problems" then he started to laugh at his own jokes, and we were laughing AT him, Not with him. but its kinda funny watching a guy laughing at his own jokes, and he did it more than twice in class. Musculoskeletal will be kinda tough because there's so much anatomy coming in, and me not being sure how deep i need to study. i miss Dhruba!!!

i hate today

shit...my bladder has been full for the past 1 hr and i still have to think of what to write. my glorious holiday (and pigging sessions) are now OVER and i have to start sem 5.

i woke up bloody late today, like an hr before class...didn't have time to blowdry my hair, and hence it looks like simba. i just really wished my hair wouldn't curl out so much. its irritating. today the dean gave a long lecture yada yada... making me sleep in the middle of it. and when i saw the timetable for this semester...shit...i'm not sure if i can finish revising everything. this semester i'll be cooped up in my room and just looking at my notes the whole time. after the nightmare of semester 3, i definitely do not want to repeat it. i'd rather be a lowlife and a bore for this whole semester rather than repeating the whole course again.

this morning in class i saw a few of my class mates revising away. i wish i could be like them...so disciplined and determined. i want to go back to kch for my christmas and see everyone. by hook or by crook, i am going to pass my sem 5. its been a long time since i've had christmas at my own home...getting to see all my cousins and generally having a good time. i want to celebrate my new year's with all my friends and get pissed off and drunk with them. its only 4 more months after all....

musings

i am feeling quite mellow this morning. my title today was to be about genting, but i'll satisfy my desires right now. the feeling of mellowness is so deep that i went to read haiku poems just now. i feel like there's a deep essence within me, that only poetry can understand. sometimes these feelings are so deep that you feel like sitting down in a rocking chair and watching the splendour of the world go by.

i've never been a great fan of poetry...it takes a lot of contemplation for me to truly appreciate their works. but today, for some reason, i am feeling it. haiku's are beautiful. it may consist of only 4 lines, but when you sit back and think about them, and picture those words in your mind, you can actually feel a deep calmness in you.

my trip to genting yesterday was like a 10th anniversary for me, cos that's the last time i went there. nothing's changed;its still the same. only now my phobia of heights has somewhat increased. on the way back yesterday using the cable cars, we stopped for 5 minutes over a ravine. when i looked down, i can imagine the car plunging, and me wondering what i'll be doing in that split second. i don't have a phobia of riding airplanes, i think they're great, but just the thought of me right underneath a ravine makes me sick. i also appreciated the malaysian rainforest yesterday. i don't like secondary rainforest; but when you see huge trees majestically towering over everything else and the fog and clouds drifting above them,it looks so beautiful.

there were only 2 rides which got my adrenaline pumping: the corkscrew and the flying coaster. i like it when i fall down and my stomach lurches up. its kinda funny.the ghost ride was the lamest; i wonder why they even bothered with it at all. genting is great, but i think they should think up of better rides and refurbish the place. just because they are the premeir theme park in malaysia doesn't mean they can take things for granted. the indoor theme park was much better as they had renovated the place. i do agree that its a great place for lovers and if only another person went yesterday, things would have been just perfect.

the weather was really good, and i wished it would be like that for the whole of malaysia. there were a lot of arab and indian tourists...probably the summer hols. the funniest thing yesterday was when i saw this aunty spinning round and round on her motorized boat for 10 minutes flat. and she didn't even look dizzy! she had this serene look on her face and i suspected she was enjoying herself. we all had a laugh at her,and i felt kinda bad in the end. they were tourists, after all, and i shouldnt' be doing that. still...i wonder how she felt for the entire day. she probably will be going back home with Genting's Boat Spinning Record! hahaha

i also finally saw batu caves for the second time yesterday...and i find out that i'm drawn to mountains, hills etc.i guess its because they appear so majestic and yet so lonely. ah.. its the art-loving side of me again. i really must go and get myself a poetry book.

i also realize i have until this weekend to relax, after that it'll be hell for me. i do want to pass my sem 5 and go back home for christmas. i miss the christmas masses at st. joe's church.

i told a friend yesterday i think i've found the perfect guy (according to my standards).He's kinda good-looking, god-fearing, nice guy, athletic, smart, kind hearted, always smiling and overall nice guy. the only thing is he's not available. i know... some friends have told me its not worth it, because two of us are going to be hurt in the end, or i might have to do a total lifestyle makeover. some told me i should just be friends with him..it doesn't mean i have to tackle him or anything. the truth is...i don't know. i appreciate all the advices that have been given to me, and i know my brain is still in control over my heart. but i do hope they would understand my postion if they were in my shoes. my gut tells me its not just a one-way thing. as to how much the mutual like is, i don't know. but i think its there. And it just depends on me.i once told god that i'm very happy that he gave me a chance to feel what love/ liking someone is like. but at the same time, love can bring you immense pain. sure...i might get over him some day...and i might find a better guy some day, but at the moment, its just him.

my amazing weekend

ah yes...what an amazing weekend i had! anything to do with food makes me extremely happy. i had the chance to go for a buffet dinner at the Atrium cafe in sunway hotel.its standard buffet stuff, except they really have nice seafood. i ate lots of mussels, and the funny thing is, they taste really nice with thousand island. i only took 1 round of formal eating. the other two rounds were my desserts. i tried practically every dessert served, and yes, i did feel like a pig. A HAPPY PIG. my favourite were the miniature cupcakes, the homemade icecream and the cheesecake. the flam was also nice.
on sat i went to klcc for some shopping. finally got my jeans shorts there, and another round of binge eating. i had gelare there, and the jamaican chocolate was heavenly! i love my desserts...sigh...
today i went to the ptptn building to get my surat perlepasan pinjaman, only to be told later that mara is freezing all their loans. wow... i really feel like a stupid ass. plus, i got lost going there while all the time i had the address of the building inside my handbag. i know i'm blur in all aspects of life, but i never expected to be THIS blur.

i also am enjoying the LOST series on astro as well as little britain. great comedy... i love the brits dry sense of humor. that show parodies everyone and everything in the uk. and its funny, because there are ppl like that in the uk. i watched oprah yesterday, and it was a really moving show, about teenage girls and how worthless they feel about themselves. One of them actually called herself an ugly beast and said that she's the last person anyone would want to look at. another one said that she feels like she doesn't deserve her family because they were too good for her.

i know how they feel like and i don't blame them.i have my rotten days too, days when i feel like i don't want anybody to see me. i have always been shy since i was a little kid, and i really dont like it when people look at me. i feel that there's something on my face that makes them want to laugh. its amazing that women of all ages can feel so insecure about themselves just because of a thing called the MEDIA. i know somethings can never be changed, and in a horrid way, i'm actually glad i'm not the only one who feels that something is wrong with me.and yes...i think i need to see a shrink

frazzled

my dear friends, have you ever woken up one day just feeling utterly horrible? like you were meant to put yourself in the garbage bin that very instant? well, that's how i feel right now. see, when i am happy, i am utterly nice and good and blah blah. but when i feel like shit, you wouldnt' even want to be around me. i know i have a sour face, but multiply that sourness by 10 and you can imagine how i look today.

i am not sure what triggered this unhappy feeling. maybe im stressed out because i'm not studying like i'm supposed to. maybe i'm feeling claustrophobic and need more time to myself. and maybe i'm just frustrated at my condition right now. this feeling is like an itchy feeling. you want to get rid of it, but the more you pay attention to it, the worse it gets.

i wanted to write something really nice today. i had just finished dan brown's da vinci book and am particularly fascinated by the PHI equation. i was also to write something really spiritual today, about my thoughts on my religion, and where my stand is right now. but i can't .... i'll just wait another day.

yesterday i really had a nice cooking session. i truly love cooking, and actually, if i were to suck at medicine, i would like to be a western chef and specialise in desserts. i'd be eating my food most of the time, but who cares? cooking is really nice. it really takes the stress off of you.

i've also been doing so much tests..personality tests, kissing tests...sigh.

1. my kissing purity is 87%

2. i am a great communicator

3. i was a mute dancer in china in the past life

4. my general knowledge is poor, but my vocab and logic are exceptionally high

5. im funky, outdoorsy, hippie, free spirited

6. my daddy is arnold schwarzenegger

7. you all see me as a slow and steady person

8. the keys to my heart are exactly like bren's

9. i'm actually 22 years old

courtesy of blogthings.com

the real me

oh yeah, dida told me to do this... so here goes

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:

1. kr_is1

2. sarah

3. amazon ( i find this name utterly sexy!)


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my eyes and my eyelashes. my eyelashes particularly

2. my boobs. just the right size

3. my legs. nice if i'm wearing a knee length skirt


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my tummy. hate it

2. thighs. hate it even more

3. my round face. its very hard to match clothes, hair and accessories


THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Bidayuh

2. iban

3. british...but its watered down a lot. happened during the rajah occupation, so its about 8 or 9 generations ago.and i think it was a scandalous affair!


THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. guys coming up to me

2. people hating me

3. me being confused. i don't like it when im not sure of everything around me


THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. tv

2. sweet junk food

3. music

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. a knee length skirt

2. my reebok blouse

3. my underused white flat sandals

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:

1. U2. they rock, and they're original

2. mariah carey. her octaves are hot

3. jamiroquai...they are weird and eccentric. and i've liked them since sec school

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:

1. Unbreak my heart - Toni Braxton

2. Water runs dry- boyz 2 men

3. under the stars- mariah carey


Three things you want in a relationship:

1. mutual understanding

2. loyalty

3. deep love


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:

1. I am actually a shy person

2. I would love to wear a bikini

3. I am into mysticismy


THREE physical things about the preferrd sex that appeals to you:

1. eyes, must be sexy and beautiful

2. good upper chest

3. smile, definitely


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. exercise

2. shopping ( honest!)

3. meeting close friends


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. scream

2. punch someone

3. eat every flavor of ice cream at baskin robbins


THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:

1. nun

2. scientist/researcher

3. medicine

(2 down, 1 to go)


THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. new york

2. south africa

3. brazil

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:

1. Serena

2. Jordan

3. elizabeth

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. travel the world and go to remote places

2. join doctors without borders

3. have grandchildren


THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:

1. i love sports

2. i can be detached from people

3. i dont care what people think about me

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:

1. i love makeup and shopping

2. I extremely love gossiping

3. i am a good listener


THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:

1. Angeline chan

2. brendalai

3. megalomaniac giant

Thoughts at 2am

I haven't been blogging here for a long time so thought I should do my duty now and hopefully, anything that comes on is at least half-coherent.
It's Week 5 at Stanford, and like I've bemoaned to every one of my friends unfortunate enough to meet me online, I've never studied this hard in my whole life before.
The homeworks just keep a-comin' and 24 hours in a day never seemd so short before. It's 2am right now and I haven't gone to sleep, but I should. Goodness knows I don't get enough of it from Monday to Thursday.
Am staying up late because have been doing an abstract for a term paper for one of the courses I'm taking called Water Resources Management. Have chosen as my topic: the Bakun Hydroelectric Project. And you guys all know what a sensitive subject that is. The problem is, it's really hard to get any data on anything related to Malaysia on the Net and Malaysian scientists don't really publish papers (bad, bad habit people). So I will have to rely on foreign sources of information and on websites that are clearly anti-Bakun...o how to get an objective view on the whole issue??
But seriously, my own personal opinion is that it's just a giant white elephant. Have come across statements from our government ministers saying that Bakun is "environmentally friendly". Hello?? Do they even know what a dam is?? No dam is "environmentally friendly"! Nothing is "environmentally friendly" when you have to raze huge tracts of land and essentially drown it to build the darn thing!
But all that protesting against the project is futile because it's almost complete (should be done by the end of next year or so). The thing I'm hoping to focus on is the impact on the local people, some 10000, that have been relocated to Belaga in 1998 and in some respects, have yet to come to terms with their new homes and adapt. How could they, when you take away the land they've been living on for centuries and essentially tell them to find a new way of living? For all the government's statements about how the project is bringing development to the people, nobody asked if the people were unhappy with how things were and if they even wanted to be "developed" in the first place? I'm sure they might have said "no, thanks" if they knew that they were going to have to leave their fertile land for a less productive one in Belaga, or that they could no longer fish or hunt as freely as their ancestors did, or that they would be compensated for the land they lost but would have to use part of that compensation money to buy houses that the government built for them in Belaga (Huh??). Some of them aren't even compensated due to legaities and such: people in the interion aren't too particular about keeping land records and such. Did you know that one of the saddest things about it is that the graves that they left behind. If they want to relocate the graves, they would be paid RM1,000 and if they leave them behind, they get paid RM2,000 per grave. I have no words.
So.
As good Sarawakians, we just stood aside and let things happen because that's how we Sarawakian do things: we don't like to cause trouble. And keep in mind that the dam was being built in the first place to supply electricity to Peninsular Malaysia.. Not Sarawak, or even Sabah, but Peninsular Malaysia. It boggles the mind. It wouldn't even directly benefit us, the government had to come up with plans to develop side industries like cottage industries or ecotourism so that we wouldn't be totally left out. It brings to mind the image of a dog eating scraps thrown from the master's table. Sigh.
OK, going to stop now before I get ISA-ed. Blogs are dangerous. Didn't Sarah just do a rant against the Establishment a few months back?
It's 2.15am, time to go to sleep. Have to be up at 8am to go to Jasper Ridge (Stanford's "Rimba Ilmu", UM alumni would know what I mean).
Ta ta!

the stressed out chef

Before i continue with today's cooking class, i'd like you all to check out a website: http://jobpredictor.com. i found out i'm supposed to be a porn star in real life, and me pornie name would be RANDY RABBIT. Hilarious!! On the serious side, i do know that a lot of women take up pole dancing classes nowadays to get fit. Who wants to start one? and yes, i'm supposed to die on 10 June 2061. Remember this date. If any of you are still alive and not demented, pls check to see how i am. And i'm supposed to keep a pet giraffe to enlighten my life.

Today i decided to cook fried rice for the FIRST time in my entire life. I had to cook rice twice, because the first time it was too soggy. being the goose that i am, i thought that if i were to slow cook the rice in a pot it would be more dry. in the end, i burnt the rice and the pot. i don't know how i'm going to get rid of all the black marks on the bottom of the pot. i hate scraping stuff.

being a fighter, i tried to cook rice for a second time. this time, it was ok cos i used the little cup they provided to put the correct amount of water. then, i went preparing the ingredients. i put garlic and shallots in first, and i thought of getting the shallots out when they were nicely fried. instead, they turned completely black. The rest of the procedures were okay, and i finally got my fried rice at 11 am this morning. Carrefour has really nice premarinated meat, and this weekend i'm gonna try to cook steak and lamb chops for myself. if i ever get it right, i'll be truly proud of myself.

i had my presentation yesterday, and i'm still a bit scarred. i was really embarassed yesterday because my group was the only one whose q and a was more than 5 minutes, and ALL of the questions were asked by the lecturers. i did enjoy myself for the q and a, but after that i got really tired. and now i think the work we done must have been sucky or else we wouldn't get bombed so much. oh well, anyhow this is worse than when i was in um, cos for some reason, my ex lecturers always let me off the hook. i'm told that when i'm in sem 7 i have to do another research. Oh no!!!! *Sighs dramatically*

I also watched the Amityville Horror with my brother last weekend and let me tell you, i'm still in love with the gsc popcorn. Whether its lite and sweet or caramel, i love em all. The movie was ok, not as corny as ghost train, but i hate it when i myself can see all the ghosts. i think unseen things are scarier. nothing beats jap and thai movies. I'll be waiting for the movie 'the island' next week. and i heard initial d's pretty good too.

This brings me to genting. i've been asked to join friends for a trip there in the next two weeks, and i'm happy. but then i think of all the scary stories and i'm now unsure. to go or not to go? i might be going to redang too. hopefully the redang one does take off cos i've never been there before.

All goosed out

You're a Goose!

Most folks think you're silly, but those who know you best realize
that you can be quite serious and even vicious! You remind people of dinosaurs
with your stately gait and strange way of staring them down. People also associate
you with pillows and other elements of their bedding, but this just makes you
shudder. If you're from Canada, you've really been bugging people lately. What's
in the bag?


Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

ah yes, isn't it wonderful to be a goose? i thought that i might be an eagle or a vulture, but nooooooo, i had to be a goose. i've just finished my group research today, and feeling very tired right now. plus, i have to get my individual report done.

i am getting a little bit weighty because of the food i'm eating. lali n gang were supposed to eat mud pie last wednesday and instead, we went to kenny roger's. i'm not complaining, the choc muffin i had that day was superb. but now it means that the hole is my wallet is going to get bigger. i hear there's another REAL mud pie session to be held. Linda is also suggesting that we go to klang to have bakutteh/mud pie.

last thursday, i had durians for breakfast. as a result, i've been called mad. But, if you like something so much, and can't wait to get up in the morning for it, wouldn't any of you do the same thing for me? I want my mom to buy some slices of cake from secret recipe, since my bro is here. and last night, we watched Wrong Turn, such a stupid and disgusting movie.

My bro's hair is back to normal again, he must've chickened out from all the comments he got about his hair.i found out that not many people liked the movie war of the worlds. its boring and has a stupid ending.

i hate doing research, and i hope i never have to do it when i'm working. sure, it is fun discovering the results that you have, but writing and looking for review material is just too much for me. i can't stand it. i'd rather inject 100 patients a day or perform multiple births rather than doing research. my brain is feeling foggy right now.

Renal results came out last week, and the coordinator posted a reply regarding the feedback session. its always a joy for me to read what he has to say because he is so acidic in his comments.

glorious food

before i continue with my rantings, i just want to tell dida that she DOES lead an exciting life. okay, i've been eating and eating since last weekend,and i'm about to go out and have another food session later on. i went to watch war of the worlds yesterday, and it was really good! The ending is undoubtedly bad, but the whole thing, from the acting to the scripting to the directing, was good. AND scary. i mean, you can actually imagine all those things happening on earth in the near future. i give it 8/10, and its my fave alien movie together with independence day and MIB 1.

durian season is on full scale and last sunday i had loads of it. and i still feel like eating it. yesterday i had steak and some really good ice cream. i'll die if i'm dragged to gelare today. too much good food is bad. plus, my dad is here, and my mum will prob want to go to some nice restaurant. sigh.... i really have to jog like mad to make sure it doesn't go to my hips. its true, you know , that fat from the hips is 6times harder to go away than from the tummy.

i watched a bit of live 8 last weekend, and i'm really glad that musicians are taking time off to promote it. but,as to whether the whole thing really made a difference will only be known next week.

i saw this programme on discovery about doctors without frontiers. and its really sad that there are so many rich people as there are poor people. they showed doc and nurses in africa, and i was crying when i saw it. this nurse had to choose 50 ppl from a village to go to a feeing centre. and she had a hard time, because everyone needed help. The children were severely malnourished,and they were in constant pain because they were so thin. the worst part was this little boy who died in the hospital because the employees locked the equipment and he couldn't get a blood transfer. and all they could do, incl his dad, was to just wait for him to die. they say in africa its completely normal to have 2 or 3 of your kids to die. and they don't show any emotions because if they did, they would all be insane.

its true that G8 has to abolish the debt, but at the same time, the african leaders must also be clean. true, its hard to banish corruption completely.everyone wants to be rich, to have nice cars, nice clothes, go on a cruise. Who do i blame? i blame all those developed countries,for flaunting their richness at asia and africa, but not giving a damn about them. From south america, to brazil, to india, there are so many people who need help. true, i can't do anything about them. but i do wish those who could help them will do it. make the world a better place, like mj says.

old folks home

i wanted to write about this yesterday but i was too lazy to haul my butt up to imu.

as part of my selective, my gp had to go to an old folks' home in puchong, just to see how memory loss works, and to do some mental tests. We got lost on the way cos the driver thought we were going to an orphanage, so there we were, circling the same neighborhood 3 times.

i am being bias when i think of the elderly at an old folks' home. i still remembered when i was in form 2, and i had to go and do some charity work at the old folks home run by the Lion's club. it was pretty depressing to see them at the time, because they were really bed-ridden and sad. And i remember this one lady, who was really having dementia, and she kept undressing herself while my senior kept trying to dress her. and suddenly, she just peed on the floor.

When i was on the bus yesterday, i was thinking of that episode, and mentally bracing myself. To my suprise, the old folks' home is kinda small, its housed in a double-story hse. And the ppl there are really robust.Since my study involved questioning old ladies, i had to bring a friend who can speak mandarin, and we zoomed in on a few old ladies. but they were kinda shy...till this one lady came up to us.

i shall call her miss S, and i tell you, even if she's 69 yrs old, she's really a looker. she doesn't have any obvious wrinkles on her face and neck, and she has a very good memory, she scored quite high for the MMSE test. Jacqueline was translating for us most of the time, and this lady would just talk and talk. that was one of the best experiences i have ever had at an old folks' home. she was such a gem, and so were the others. One of the old men even played a harmonica piece for us, and this guy is 70++.

it took away my biasness towards how old folks' home are run, and the good thing about them is that they just dont sit down and stare into space. Miss S tells me in the afternoon they take up part time jobs,and in the evening they go exercise like walking in the parks. the only thing she was sad about was that there was not enough food for them.

i just hope that one day when i do have the cash and the time, i'd really like to help out on earth. i just realised last night, that our lives on earth are so incredibly short. and its true what god says, our lives are just a blink in time,so what we do when we're alive matters a lot :)

woe is me

8 am- woke up for a little while to take a piss. Thought of waking up for real, but went back to sleep.

8.50 am- wow...latest time i've woken up for this week. Proceed to stumble wildly to kitchen to prepare breakfast

9 am- am slow boiling porridge. added two eggs, some seaweed, generous salt, soy sauce and it still tastes bland. am worried that i will not cook good porridge like my granma.

9.10 am - eating in front of tv and drinking mango juice. Watching how a polar bear kills beluga whales by jumping on it repeatedly, only to have his meal stolen by a bigger polar bear. Then watch wacko animals on animal planet. Forgot about the animals anyway.

10 am- cleared breakfast and sitting on desk playing spider solitaire. starting to feel queasy and nauseous because of breakfast. feel seaweed going up throat. suppress desire to puke.

10.30am- trying to start typing for lit review. just managed to do abstract when i feel bloated and puking again. i now know how pregnant mommies feel

11.30 am - can't take it anymore!!! go to bed and do a yoga stance with eyes closed in the hopes of taking away nauseatic feeling. in the process, dreaming of a date with tony eusoff. hmmmm.....

12pm- dida wakes me up from my beautiful fantasy asking me for a bkshop's phone no. also calls me a f*** for suggesting she gets married! heheheh. am updated about the latest happenings, then proceed to rummage my already messy room for the phone no.in the process, i proceed to tell her that i got depressed when i read her blog yesterday. i'm feeling very OLD right now.

12.15pm- sigh...have to bathe and get ready for school.

1pm-busy getting ready and ironing skirt. wonder if i can borrow a cheesy romance novel from the lib.

1.50 pm- realised my aunt misscalled me. she's coming this fri, and i can predict a major shopping session with her. wonder if there are any mud pie sessions this week. queasy feeling coming back. Thinking of the beef stew i will be having tonite. yum!

A laundry room! With dryers! All your clothes cleaned automatically! Heaven!! 

memory loss

this is going to be my literature review for my physio selective. exercise and memory loss, to be exact. Since this month is so slo-mo, i find myself waking up around 8-10 every morning, eating my breakfast, and wanting to go back to sleep again.

the sem 5 results are out, and i bid a goodbye to all my seniors. i'm hoping they all did well and all passed. i hope none of them have to resit, cos that would make me scared. i am now deciding whether i should really go to a doc and get some more antibiotics cos i;m still coughing like mad. on the other hand, i kinda like it; its like exercising when you're sitting. ever heard research about where they say ppl who fidget more lose more cals? well, i think i am an example of one. the worst thing is when i can't sleep at night. that sucks.

Gayatri and irene came to my place yesterday to return my house of wax dvd. i must say, i like the way paris hilton died. it was the highlight of the entire movie. i managed to watch a little bit of 'growing up gotti' and suprise, surprise, i think that her son carmine is absolutely cute!! he's got the looks and the style. And i still prefer paris to nicole richie. She's not so bitchy as the former.

dida is now becoming the official shrink of many ppl, including me. she does make a good one, i might add. no pretensions, no soft words, just right-smack-in-your-face. haha, i'm thinking she's actually blushing now!

i am so blur

thanks to my dad giving me the kalimantan flu virus, i've been having sleepless nights for this week. I'm coughing like nobody's business. and i would like to thank bren for giving me a nice pic of american longkang covers.

i went out to bangsar for dinner last night with dida and a new acquaintance, fizah, the two of them are so alike in mind, its fate that they were bound to be good friends. ah, convent girls. how i like the way we think and speak!

the topic last night was about jackass men, specifically s'wakian lads. before any of you guys bash meup, i'd like to say not all of u are that bad, just some. And they happen to be from my races. How embarassing!! I went through another malaysian toilet experience. and this is no joke; when i was peeing a cockroach was racing in front of me. huh.

the topic above is because after the girlie talk i had last night, i've just realised how blur i am when it comes to guys. really,really blur. i wouldn't even know a guy likes me until he says it straight in my face.

anyway, the physio selective i'm doing is ok. thank god i have no exams, its the most relaxed i've ever been.i'm trying my bestest to start studying for sem 5, but i still feel so lax.

Sarah has a picture of a Kuching manhole, so I have a picture of a Stanford manhole. :) 

KKB sem 4

Now that i know dida's blogger is working just fine, i'll continue with my kkb story. It all started last thurs when the bus came to pick us up. A tourist bus, to be exact, and there were only 7 of us in the bus. cool, now all the folks think we're jap tourists. the bus driver used the bukit beruntung route instead of the normal one. so it took us to places i never knew before. i came across this township that was smack in the middle of nowhere. its like so many shoplots were being built, but 80% are deserted. it looked dead. the scenery later was nice. we passed thru mountains, paddy fields and vege plots. i was busy trying to get nice photos but its not easy when the bus is swinging around.

that evening was pasar malam, and kkb's pasar malam is da bomb. all of us bought food, biscuits and kuih. i dunno, i feel like i can find basically much more stuff than the kl pasar malams. the next day we went back to kl by public bus. if you think kl buses are crazy, the kkb buses are suicidal. its just like formula one, except that you're in a bus. my hair was swirling around me, and the bus brakes like crazy, throwing everyone about. lali swore she saw a lady in front of her making the sign of the cross. hah. but overall, it was a good adventure. then, we were back in kkb on sunday and stayed till thursday.

the food in kkb is sublime. cheap and really good. i got my last experience of kkb waffles and ice-cream. and yeah, me and lali bought some chinese mag called candy. My version has some soft porn love story that made the cheerleader go high. he has this ability to zone in to the story with the most action. The funny part was when the story had to be translated in english. we spent most nights playing pictionary and cluedo. we were so noisy on one particular night that this lady went to scold us (it was raining some more) and telling us that we were stupid and no brains. Sheesh. and to my utter misery,i was a sandwich between the ever bickering lali and cheerleader. and it didn't help that i was labelled a pygmy.but the good thing was that lali and i agreed that cheerleader's brain IS the size of a mosquito's (if they DO have any brains at all). And it didn't help that i caught him looking at himself in the mirror one too many times. Metros, i tell you!

The hospital experience was good, and i actually learned a lot esp for my obs and gynae history taking.i still will stress that the obs and gynae history taking is one of the hardest.We had a barbecue on tuesday evening, and it was fun, with all the girls taking turns helping. for desert, i learnt that if you put a marshmallow and a small cadbury bar in between 2 biscuits, its really yummy! But nothing beats eating soft, goey marshmallow that's just been roasted.

the last night we were telling ghost stories. the final two really creeped me out. we all slept at 5 am that morning, and i was so creeped out i actually slept with the lights on. i do like sleeping up late and waking up late and taking brunch.

i have loadsa pics from kkb, just give me time to put everything online. and yeah, kkb rocks!

batman bale

heloo there! i've just come back from my bittersweet kkb posting. since i'm at dida's place , and she's telling me blogger's not functioning properly, i've decided to write about batman.

i am still coughing like nuts, but this is because of me gobbling ice cream, ice kacang and cheese cake like mad. am at dida's place now, and i haven't met kieran yet. saw angie and her friend cheng yesterday and the three of us watched batman.

Oh man, Christian bale is sooooooooooo hot. He's the most gorgeous batman to date, and can actually act too. But at times his voice sounds a bit fakey. And yes, i am glad the producers decided not to put nipples on his suit. both angie and i agreed that if we can't have christian as our bf, we could at least try to get a car like the batmobile. True, its big and bulky and not sleek at all, but it does remind me of the frogmobiles the us army has. and the part when batman has to change positions when he wants to fire the enemy or use his jetpower booster is just great.

But christian bale being the batman is the bomb. i dunno, he just fits the persona of batman. my most hated batman is val kilmer. he and his big lips. and michael caine gave a really good performance too. katie holmes was just useless in the movie. they should have given some romance in it.

after that, we went to eat at esquire kitchen, and when we ordered 3 gizzards, it really IS just 3 gizzards. Shocking! Then we met up with her cousin and his friend. if you are reading this angie, i think he's really good looking.its just that he's taken :{ then dida and i went shoe and hat shopping and to my utter dismay, i find out that she can pull of just about every shoe that was on display. even the ones that i find disgusting. i found a pageboy hat that i really liked in topshop. honestly, i look kinda cute in it, like a little girl. its gonna set me back 73, and i'm gonna wait for my dad to buy it for me. i am also aiming on which shoes to buy for my clinical years. i have already targetted one hush puppies heel which looks really nice on me.

then i went to meet up with yvonne and the cheerleader at chilli's. due to my bad cough, i couldnt' drink anything, and dida got formally introduced to them. i had a fun time bashing the cheerleader,and he kept on talking about pygmies and jungle people. i wish i could throw him into the jungle one day and watch him get gored by wild boars. and i think there was a gay waiter that was staring all the time at cheerleader. and when we all went out, the waiter was looking him up and down. EEk!

Creepy but true...

The four boys who were lost in the jungle at Fraser's Hill were found yesterday morning. They reportedly told a member of the rescue team that they had followed a clearly marked trail and followed it till they came upon a "Dead End" sign. When they turned around to retrace their path, the trail was gone and try as they might, they couldn't find it. It was all just dense jungle.
You'd be an "abnormal" Malaysian to not have questions about the supernatural-ness of this incident.
After reading the newspaper article, my mom and my brother had their own stories to tell.
My mom lived in the "sua teng" when she was a kid, and her elders would tell her and her siblings to be extra careful when they were out at night, even in the yard. There was one piece of advice that her naughty brothers didn't follow, which was not to pee anywhere they wished after running around the compound (remember, they were "sua teng" kids :) ). They were told to ask for permission nicely before going about their business, if you know what I mean. But of course, they didn't, until one night they came back into the house real quiet and when my mom asked, they wouldn't tell, but they heeded their elders' advice after that.
My brother had a more sensational story: he had a school friend who was extra sensitive about these things and saw otherworldly entities all the time. My brother asked him whether they looked like they did in the movies, all transparent and hazy, but the friend said they looked like real people except that they would be missing limbs or something. Scary.
I for one, sense, see and hear nothing. I am grateful for this blurness because I can't even watch horror movies, much less experience one.
My friend Tracy told me once that she thought I was quite brave during my first year in university. Why? Because her friend had told her ghost stories that allegedly happened in the college hostel where I was staying and not only that, but that the room that I was staying in (and the other rooms near the toilet) was a hotspot of activity! Well, I can truthfully say that my one-year stay there was uneventful. I can laugh about it now, but it's a good thing she had the good sense not to tell me the stories when I was dorming there. I wouldn't have been able to get a good night's sleep!

* * *
Was watching a documentary that featured the Shaolin monks on Discovery. There are 7 year old Shaolin apprentices who could kick my butt and make me beg for meercy in less 2 minutes flat...maybe less even. I can't even bend over and touch my toes without pulling a hamstring.
Ouch.

P.S. "Sua teng" translated loosely: jungle, rural.