Thursday, October 27, 2005


When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather,
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special,
you're so fucking special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong here

She's running out the door,
she's running,
she run, run, run, run, run.

Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special,

but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.

by Radiohead

This rates as one of my favourite angsty songs. Alanis Morissette can't be beat though. If you're feeling shitty and feel like nothing's going right, this song expresses your emotions for you.

choclolate toxicity

My stomach feels queasy now because of the chocs i ate last night. i think it was too late at night to eat chocs. i wonder how the world would be like if the mayans didn't discover cocoa. How would our society be?? would our sex lives be dismal? would we be gorging ourselves on chips the whole day, and would we still be a bunch of barbarians??? i'm so grateful for the chocolates that have ever been made (not dark ones though).

I've watched Doom last week, and hope to watch the Corpse Bride and Chicken Little the next week. Doom is basically your kill and shoot movie, its based on the video game of the same name. I think the only reason i watched it was because of the Rock and Karl Urban, and of course, the popcorn. i saw the chicken little trailer and boy, he's a really cute chick. i know the movie is for kids but who cares... give me a bag of popcorn and i'll be happy.

The pms matching results are out, and i've come to realise that i only have 5 weeks to see everyone in class. its going to feel so weird not being with close friends, and to start another new chapter in life.

EOS is coming in 6 weeks time. i have given up hope of studying everything. instead, i'll just be focusing on what i think has a higher chance of coming out. to make matters worse, the first week after raya i'll be having mock osce, and i didn't even know it until today.i'll have to make do with what i have. Everyone is super stressed and running around in circles. i have felt my bp slowly but surely rising as the exams come calling!along with this, large amounts of junk food are entering my mouth and depositing on my thighs. The culprits are chocs, cakes and keropok. i don't know why, but eating while studying is SO enjoyable.

Next week National Geographic will be airing an interesting documentary about the origins of man. We all know that man is descended from one ADAM, but just how did ADAM look like? the possible theory is that we mankind originated from africa, and migrated to all corners of the earth. Along the way, our genetic structures were modified to adapt to the land we lived in. In asia especially, it is found that millions of men have one original Big Daddy-Genghis Khan. Due to Genghis's conquering ways of both women and land, he manages to sire lots of kids. I think it would be great to find out who my ancestors are. it would be great having genghis as my great granddaddy though, its like a piece of history is embedded within you.

the health issues are so boring...we're supposed to watch a movie called outbreak and i don't think i've seen it before. most of the time in class i just sit with my head in the clouds.

Friday, October 21, 2005

bipolar disorder

whew...i've just finished my cns exam. it is not easy...i repeat...IT IS NOT EASY!!!!

i look something like a corpse bride right now (minus the fabulous figure). i'm really tired, i feel like sleeping right on the com keys . Yesterday our beloved PM's wife passed away. i was quite shocked when they announced it on the radio because i assumed that she was getting better. i watched the entire burial process on tv, and its pretty interesting how it was done. plus, i've never seen the ministers close up. may she rest in peace.

i have lost a kg just because of the stupid exam. its kinda good to lose it, but i will no doubt gain it again by this weekend. why did i say the exams was hard? because there's so much to learn and yours truly studied really last minute for it. a whole question just about bacteria came out, and i managed to 'shoot' pretty well. unfortunately, my ospe went haywire,and ironically i'm gonna lose a lot of marks from there. i have no idea what i'm going to get, but i rate the toughness on par with renal.

i have now become a fan of zombie movies! i watched dawn of the dead, and man, was it good. there's another movie called 24 hours which is almost similar. its really realistic and you can actually imagine the world like that in the future. i 've also watched sound of thunder, and would advise potential moviegoers to stay away from it!!!

this morning i watched a program about japan called "naked festival" its held once a year to bring away all of japan's bad luck. all the bad luck is transferred to a guy called the monk, who has to run naked on the city streets and being chased after by 10,000men. if they succeed in touching any part of him, they can get rid of their bad luck. and all these men are also naked and drunk. Japan fascinates me, simiply because their culture is just so unique.

and a few days back in the local papers, they ran an article about what sort of food one eats determines ones character. for example:

a person who loves to eat steak- in an angry mood

loves to eat cakes and biscuits- sexually frustrated/deprived

loves to eat ice-cream, chocs, cookies- is filling up an empty void within

i'm actually a combo of all the 3 above, so poor me!

i'll be going on an eating spree again this weekend, and next week i have to embark on a dieting regime. its really hard to eat all sorts of fatty food while trying to maintain the same weight.

Friday, October 07, 2005

A week of expression

A week has come and gone by, and there has been so much going on. the imu cup has officially ended last tuesday, and the sem 3's have won. i went to watch the cheerleading contest that night, and i'm glad i went. the pharm students gave a really good performance, and they were all so synchronized. Almost all of them had the same body size and gave a very splendid performance. i was very proud of my batchmates who performed that night. We had the spirit and determination to succeed. we deserved to win the cheerleading contest. the sad part is that we lost the overall champioship to sem 3 by only 2 points. there were some sports that we should have won, but alas, things aren't meant to be. all the students who participated in the games deserve a round of applause because at the end of the day, having fun and making friends is what matters most.

i have not been exercising this week, and my body parts feel flabby. i love it when i'm exercising cos my muscles feel toned, and i do feel more lithe. i will go jogging tmr morning, cos i seem to be eating nonstop again. i'm kinda sick of guys judging a girl's appeal by the size of their bodies. i do admit that physical appearance is important, but hey, all girls can't be as stick thin as kate moss, can they? and do guys ACTUALLY prefer those kinds of girls? i dunno. been listening to some angstsy songs lately, and i love 'Creep'by Radiohead. it conveys all my emotions, feeling like an idiothead, and not belonging anywhere in society. i sometimes feel that its really tiring to make everyone like you and respect you. i am the type of person that doesn't really care much, actually. i guess i have been foraging in the jungles of Sarawak too long to care about what other people think. I'm just joking...but yeah, as long as i know i have good friends, its all right. And if someone does call me a b*****, i guess i'll take it as a compliment. i must've intimidated them so much to be actually called one.

Went for the art competition today, and enjoyed myself listening to poems. A number of my classmates won, so i'm pretty glad for them. The dikir barat performances and choir were superb, and i am amazed again that there are so many talented people in this uni. amazing...its like they were blessed with everything. before i went to sleep last night,i was thinking about the people around me,and somehow i realised that each and every one of them has a talent. it may be obvious, it may be subtle, but its there. and talent comes in all forms; whether its brains, sports, music, people skills, each and every one of us was given something precious by God. I think most of us don't realise we have it, it takes other people to see it. anyway, the MC for todays artcom. was so lame, and he seems to have fun mocking and making fun of everyone. but who am i to judge? maybe he was nervous, maybe he didn't prepare himself. whatever it is, i was torn between crying and wanting to throw a javelin at him. i think the latter would be a better choice.