Thursday, March 27, 2008

Im so free from cfcs

Jeebus, i just hate typing. I finally passed up my cfcs this morning, and i'm glad i don't have to see it for the next one more month.just because of the critical review, i spent my whole sunday in front of the pc looking for suitable journals. not to mention haggling over the one and only IMU printer with at least 60 other classmates.

You know what, i hate depending on other people. i hate it that i can't go to hospital on my own, i hate it that i can't go to town on my own, and i hate it when i have to depend on people for stuff. Its not that i hate making human contact, its just that i don't like to trouble other people. And my own feeling that i feel like i'm using people. I don't think anyone will understand how i feel unless they have been very independent for quite a while. So this weekend, i am going to buy my own printer in the hopes that i don't need to ask other people's help to send me to IMU/printing shop/other people's house just to print.

I was very happy in Seremban. Its just a 15 minute walk to school, which i did almost everyday, and getting the added benefit of exercise. And for those of you who have not had early morning walks (aka 6-7 am walks) you should try it. its super nice! There were many shophouses around my area, so looking for essentials like grocery, food, clinic, stationary shops etc was no big deal. AND there is a bus stop which took me to ktm, seremban parade and terminal 1, just in case i wanted to go back to kl or just to go for my mcd's or kfc. Speaking of which, i have NOT HAD both fast foods for about 4 weeks. THat's is long for me. I used to have mcd's once a week. Yeah, i know i'm clogging my arteries, but i was hoping my morning walks would solve a little bit of that problem.

Here in bp, i HAVE NO PLACE TO EXERCISE NEAR MY HOUSE. i'm stuck in my room. Technically, there is a garden just opposite imu, but if i want to exercise there, i will need someone to send me back to my house. See why i'm feeling frustrated now? People have been asking me why i x have a car and why i don't drive. I have a driving license, and i got it when i was 17. Its just that MY PARENTS DON'T WANT ME TO DRIVE. That's just it. Don't ask me why they forbid me to do so. i have no idea. even my brother gets to drive when he comes back home to kuching. Me, i can't even touch the steering wheel of any car that belongs to my parents or my relatives. my brother needs to drive me around town.

I guess i'm frustrated because for once i'm semi independent. Im glad that i have friends who are willing to take me out to eat, send me to hospital or imu and go grocery shopping with me. But there are also times when i wish i had the freedom and accessibility to go out on my own once in a while. Is there a bus service in bp? There is. but it goes straight to the bus terminal and does not pass bp summit. i think i'll just rot in my room for the next few months and try to enjoy myself.

speaking of which,today until this sunday is the freest i've been since coming here. the lecturers are enjoying themselves in Shanghai, and i haven't got my first portfolio back. i still need to look for suitable ebm materials for the first one.

to be honest, i can't wait to get back to sarawak. now i really really want to just go through the next 5 months without any major incidents, pass and just go back. i miss home, i miss my family, i miss my friends and i miss sarawakians. I miss my high school friends. They were the backbone of my life and they still are, even though i don't keep in touch with them very often. in fact, i am guilty of not keeping in touch with them. i think the one reason i stayed so close to them is because even though each and every one of us has our own neurotic personalities, in general we were all behaving the same way: nice, down to earth girls who don't think too highly of themselves, we are comfortable in our own skin, don't twoface or backstab their friends and are very trustworthy (My really close friends anyway). i know i can trust them with my life if i confided something to them, and they can depend on me to do the same thing. ANd i love being with these type of people, u can just relax, be yourself, and nobody gives a damn about you, as long as you are nice. And like i've always said it before, my high school years were and still are the best part of my life :D

Uni was okay, i met a couple of good friends. I've always wondered why are girls always each others best enemies. You seldom see it with guys. In UM, i've seen my own friends backstab another good friend of mine, eventually forcing her to move out of the house in second year. i've seen classmates getting jealous of other classmates achievements, ive seen uber-kiasu ppl in UM, damn, i've seen lots of things. And its usually girl vs girl. Sometimes i wonder what goes on in these girl's minds. What is there to be jealous off? What is there to be bitchy about? I just don't get it sometimes. And the people ive seen hurt are my closest friends. I'm now going to be 27 by the end of this year. And sometimes, trust me, i do feel old. I think i've come to a point where i am beyond all the stupid things i used to do in high school and uni. granted, i'm still not fully mature yet, give me another few more years. Sometimes i'm pretty tired of the drama in life. When i feel really stressed out, i imagine myself just thoughtlessly chain-smoking away, staring at nothing but empty space. That is how i relieve whatever stress i have. No, i have not tried smoking, although i wish i could try one. perhaps when i go back for good, and just try to puff one of my cousins cigs.

in other happier news, my brother told me two weeks ago, that my parents were thinking of buying me car called CHERY QQ. yes, you've heard it rite, CHERY QQ. well, my first reaction was that i was shocked, then i was laughing on the phone for quite some time. The car is made in China and its cheap, in langkawi its price is 18k without tax. in kl its 24K. its a bit bigger than a kancil, and honest to god, it looks like a bug. i so hope they dont buy me that car. i mean i can settle for any car, heck, i've been pestering them to buy me a second hand kenari. my granma has the same car, and its so easy to drive. but a car called CHERY QQ??? when i told my dad about my crushed ego over having to drive a car with a name like that, he also laughed. man, why can't china give non-bimbotic names to their car??? so far, he said he'll buy the car he originally thought of buying for me. i so hope he x change his mind.

My brother has been transferred to Terengganu for 2-3 months for his pilot course before going back to Langkawi. He'll grad in november. i can't believe he and i are going to start work at the same time, and he is 6 years younger than me OK???!!! AND HIS STARTING SALARY IS 4K, FOR JUST STUDYING FOR 2 YEARS. i had to glue my ass to the chair for 5 years just to make sure i pass, and guess what, my starting salary is almost equal to his.

Being a cadet pilot is so relaxing. the first day he was in t'ganu, he was already playing paintball with his classmates. He only has to study for the first year, then for the second year, its all practical stuff. and its a good life. the last time i called him, he said that he flew over the chain of islands just off t'ganu. that must 've been one heck of a beautiful sight. The only thing i can bully him about when he starts working is to get me some stuff, once he starts his overseas flying.

i need to start reading my books. i have not been opening my books for the past 4 weeks because of the ass shitty portfolios. Who the hell said sem 10 was relaxing?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Portfolios r a killer

Its only today that i have begun to feel boredom in batu pahat. They have 1 GSC theatre here that is currently screening 4 movies- dr horton hears a who, anak, 10000 bc and some chinese flick. Today i've been stuck to the chair yet again typing my portfolio. What's that you ask? well, its basically a case i have to type up, from the case summary to history, dx, invx yada yada all the way to evidence based medicine. its a killer cos i can't think of what to write. and i've got to pass up a minimum of 2 portfolios for each posting. That's life in bp for me.
yesterday i had a cfcs discussion that took 3 hours. and i have to finish typing within the coming week,cos i have to pass up on the 25th.

i also just finished my labour ward posting and completed all my supposed deliveries. the last delivery that i did is the most scariest. it was a face presentation with fetal bradycardia. imagine 3 senior nurses with loads of nursing students around you. it was a very very stressful moment for me as i felt how inexperienced i was at that time. and everything had to be done quickly to prevent fetal distress.

another thing i hate is when we have to fight to deliver patients with the nursing students.the moment a patient enters, 4 of them will escort her on her wheelchair all the way to the delivery cubicle. and 4 of them are needed to do a ctg on a patient.
and they have this irritating way of just kepo-ing on your patient when youré not looking. for example, i'll be looking at the patient's case, then when i turn around i see this nursing student timing uterine contractions on my patient, when its not even time to do so? and they will want to do everything, from swabbing the patient to sending the patient back to the ward. sometimes i get so fed up i just do the delivery and let them do the rest of the stuff. the only consolation i get is that they have to take orders from me once i grad :(. granted, not all student nurses are a kiasu lot, i've learnt a thing or two from a number of them. but the majority are a prick in my ass.

I also tried to do suturing of the patient's episiotomy scar, and boy, it aint'easy. i was suppposed to suture the skin, and it took me about 2-3 minutes to do 1 stitch. it made the staff nurse anxious as i was giving more unnecessary pain to my patient. doing it on a model is so easy,its not elastic. its pretty hard to put a suturing needle through skin.

I bought my beloved durians yesterday, 3 big kampung ones for 18 bucks. all 3 were pretty good, only a few fruits were spoiled. i plan to buy durians once a month before i come back to seremban again.

SPM results are out and i found out that a lot of my cousins/relatives are scoring A's like mad! and our nation's highest scorer has a freakin'21A's! Personally, the education dept should stop this. what's the point of getting the most A's? you're not even gonna use 2/3 of the subjects you studied for. I also think its easier to get A/s compared to my time. IN my old days, getting 10 units and below was a pretty big achievement, let alone 9a's. Now the A's are just dropping like flies :) congrats to those who excelled anyways, i just hope you ask rm 10 for an A from your relatives and parents.

The tiniest state in our country is in a dilemma. There are seemingly 2 menteri besars,one chosen by the Sultan, another chosen by the PM. THe way its played out in the media, its like 1 catfight over nothing. And this is exactly why my generation voted so much for the opposition this time around. IF both of them were truly serving the rakyat, they wouldn't even bother to fight for the menteri besar post, just let the sultan and Pm fight it out. But because it comes with power, glamour, mercedes benzes and convoys that stretch for miles, its worth pulling each other's hair out over it, isn't it?

With more opposition in parliament this time, i hope there will be more stimulating debates rather that last year, where the stupidest debate was about whether Air Asia stewardesses skirt's were too short, and the impact it had on men's lust.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

1 week in bp .....the drama!!!

so yeah, this is me 1 week in batu pahat. i love this place. it does not have much places to shop, but the house where i'm staying now is 5 mins drive from hospital, my best friend stays just 5 mins away, and i have kedai-kedai runcit just in front of my house. it includes a cake house, furniture shop, clinic, chinese food stalls, laundry and kedai runcit. not to mention there are hills surrounding my house, so its a scenic place. nice eh?

but what really makes me happy is the FOOD. GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS FOOD!! Durians are in season here, and there's everything from kacukan to the kampung type. the only problem is no one wants to eat durian with me. sob. i have to gather some other durian lovers and just spend an hour or two at the durian stall. i love my durians, and i've been having a durian drought in seremban for the past 2 and a half years.
BP drivers? they drive like hell!! i seat in the passenger seat, and this week alone i had about 2 or 3 heart attacks seeing the way they drive. its really a case of 'jalan ini bapak aku punya'. i'm surprised there are not many accidents yet.

and yes, nasi briyani. i've had 3 nasi briyani lunches this past week. nice, with big portions. i just hope i dont gain another kg.

the drama i encountered was on the day that i was going to move here. just a few minutes before i was driving off to bp, i called the landlord to confirm i was coming in the evening, and he called back a few minutes later saying that i can't stay in the house cos the seniors wanted it back. mind you, nobody told me this, from the landlord all the way down to the senior. i was freaking mad of course. i had a lorry full of things and i was already homeless in batu pahat. the whole journey i had to think about where to stay, where to dump my things, etc. i really was frustrated and felt like crying. its bad enough i'm not even a semenanjungian in the first place. luckily for me, one of my classmates had an extra room and after dumping my ex housemates stuff in their new house,i went to mine. we even got lost in batu pahat town as the lorry drove so fast.

i stayed the night at THE HOTEL WHERE THE DVD WAS MADE with my parents. My aunt was pretty paranoid about extra cameras, so she kept looking at the ceiling when she bathed :). the hotel is really good, its well maintained and comfortable. i think it is THE hotel in town, and so now we know why all the action went down at that place!
this week was so hectic for me. i'm starting with obs and gynae. u know what? i don't even have time for myself. morning its the wards, afternoon is full of classes and sometimes at night i have to cover wards. by the end of this week i would have gone for 3 on calls already, including tonight. i m looking for some action tonight at the labour ward, i hope i get to deliver and do an episio. on call is horrible. i start at 7pm, finish at 5 am, and get back to the ward again at 7.30 am. i dont get to sleep until later that night. then i have portfolios to do, which really take up my time, and my cfcs project. there is lack of sleep, no time to enjoy yourself and lots of work to do. but having been through all that torture, i am enjoying myself here. its more of hands on work, and i really feel like a house officer already. the courses here are not much of theory anymore, more to practical stuff. so yeah, i am glad obs and gynae is the first posting. it sets a motion for the whole of 5 months.

sorry people for not putting up photos, but its too much of a hassle for me. maybe i'll put up a link to photos after i finish in august, about places where i've been to, where i've studied, etc. for now, its just to survive this 5 months.

oh yeah,another thing. after 5 years, i wish some students would be more mature and grow up. its interesting to note nothing has changed since i first step foot in bj. you got all sorts of interesting characters in imu. but without interesting personalities, life gets dull, doesn't it? signing of from bp.