musings

i am feeling quite mellow this morning. my title today was to be about genting, but i'll satisfy my desires right now. the feeling of mellowness is so deep that i went to read haiku poems just now. i feel like there's a deep essence within me, that only poetry can understand. sometimes these feelings are so deep that you feel like sitting down in a rocking chair and watching the splendour of the world go by.

i've never been a great fan of poetry...it takes a lot of contemplation for me to truly appreciate their works. but today, for some reason, i am feeling it. haiku's are beautiful. it may consist of only 4 lines, but when you sit back and think about them, and picture those words in your mind, you can actually feel a deep calmness in you.

my trip to genting yesterday was like a 10th anniversary for me, cos that's the last time i went there. nothing's changed;its still the same. only now my phobia of heights has somewhat increased. on the way back yesterday using the cable cars, we stopped for 5 minutes over a ravine. when i looked down, i can imagine the car plunging, and me wondering what i'll be doing in that split second. i don't have a phobia of riding airplanes, i think they're great, but just the thought of me right underneath a ravine makes me sick. i also appreciated the malaysian rainforest yesterday. i don't like secondary rainforest; but when you see huge trees majestically towering over everything else and the fog and clouds drifting above them,it looks so beautiful.

there were only 2 rides which got my adrenaline pumping: the corkscrew and the flying coaster. i like it when i fall down and my stomach lurches up. its kinda funny.the ghost ride was the lamest; i wonder why they even bothered with it at all. genting is great, but i think they should think up of better rides and refurbish the place. just because they are the premeir theme park in malaysia doesn't mean they can take things for granted. the indoor theme park was much better as they had renovated the place. i do agree that its a great place for lovers and if only another person went yesterday, things would have been just perfect.

the weather was really good, and i wished it would be like that for the whole of malaysia. there were a lot of arab and indian tourists...probably the summer hols. the funniest thing yesterday was when i saw this aunty spinning round and round on her motorized boat for 10 minutes flat. and she didn't even look dizzy! she had this serene look on her face and i suspected she was enjoying herself. we all had a laugh at her,and i felt kinda bad in the end. they were tourists, after all, and i shouldnt' be doing that. still...i wonder how she felt for the entire day. she probably will be going back home with Genting's Boat Spinning Record! hahaha

i also finally saw batu caves for the second time yesterday...and i find out that i'm drawn to mountains, hills etc.i guess its because they appear so majestic and yet so lonely. ah.. its the art-loving side of me again. i really must go and get myself a poetry book.

i also realize i have until this weekend to relax, after that it'll be hell for me. i do want to pass my sem 5 and go back home for christmas. i miss the christmas masses at st. joe's church.

i told a friend yesterday i think i've found the perfect guy (according to my standards).He's kinda good-looking, god-fearing, nice guy, athletic, smart, kind hearted, always smiling and overall nice guy. the only thing is he's not available. i know... some friends have told me its not worth it, because two of us are going to be hurt in the end, or i might have to do a total lifestyle makeover. some told me i should just be friends with him..it doesn't mean i have to tackle him or anything. the truth is...i don't know. i appreciate all the advices that have been given to me, and i know my brain is still in control over my heart. but i do hope they would understand my postion if they were in my shoes. my gut tells me its not just a one-way thing. as to how much the mutual like is, i don't know. but i think its there. And it just depends on me.i once told god that i'm very happy that he gave me a chance to feel what love/ liking someone is like. but at the same time, love can bring you immense pain. sure...i might get over him some day...and i might find a better guy some day, but at the moment, its just him.