musings

i am feeling quite mellow this morning. my title today was to be about genting, but i'll satisfy my desires right now. the feeling of mellowness is so deep that i went to read haiku poems just now. i feel like there's a deep essence within me, that only poetry can understand. sometimes these feelings are so deep that you feel like sitting down in a rocking chair and watching the splendour of the world go by.

i've never been a great fan of poetry...it takes a lot of contemplation for me to truly appreciate their works. but today, for some reason, i am feeling it. haiku's are beautiful. it may consist of only 4 lines, but when you sit back and think about them, and picture those words in your mind, you can actually feel a deep calmness in you.

my trip to genting yesterday was like a 10th anniversary for me, cos that's the last time i went there. nothing's changed;its still the same. only now my phobia of heights has somewhat increased. on the way back yesterday using the cable cars, we stopped for 5 minutes over a ravine. when i looked down, i can imagine the car plunging, and me wondering what i'll be doing in that split second. i don't have a phobia of riding airplanes, i think they're great, but just the thought of me right underneath a ravine makes me sick. i also appreciated the malaysian rainforest yesterday. i don't like secondary rainforest; but when you see huge trees majestically towering over everything else and the fog and clouds drifting above them,it looks so beautiful.

there were only 2 rides which got my adrenaline pumping: the corkscrew and the flying coaster. i like it when i fall down and my stomach lurches up. its kinda funny.the ghost ride was the lamest; i wonder why they even bothered with it at all. genting is great, but i think they should think up of better rides and refurbish the place. just because they are the premeir theme park in malaysia doesn't mean they can take things for granted. the indoor theme park was much better as they had renovated the place. i do agree that its a great place for lovers and if only another person went yesterday, things would have been just perfect.

the weather was really good, and i wished it would be like that for the whole of malaysia. there were a lot of arab and indian tourists...probably the summer hols. the funniest thing yesterday was when i saw this aunty spinning round and round on her motorized boat for 10 minutes flat. and she didn't even look dizzy! she had this serene look on her face and i suspected she was enjoying herself. we all had a laugh at her,and i felt kinda bad in the end. they were tourists, after all, and i shouldnt' be doing that. still...i wonder how she felt for the entire day. she probably will be going back home with Genting's Boat Spinning Record! hahaha

i also finally saw batu caves for the second time yesterday...and i find out that i'm drawn to mountains, hills etc.i guess its because they appear so majestic and yet so lonely. ah.. its the art-loving side of me again. i really must go and get myself a poetry book.

i also realize i have until this weekend to relax, after that it'll be hell for me. i do want to pass my sem 5 and go back home for christmas. i miss the christmas masses at st. joe's church.

i told a friend yesterday i think i've found the perfect guy (according to my standards).He's kinda good-looking, god-fearing, nice guy, athletic, smart, kind hearted, always smiling and overall nice guy. the only thing is he's not available. i know... some friends have told me its not worth it, because two of us are going to be hurt in the end, or i might have to do a total lifestyle makeover. some told me i should just be friends with him..it doesn't mean i have to tackle him or anything. the truth is...i don't know. i appreciate all the advices that have been given to me, and i know my brain is still in control over my heart. but i do hope they would understand my postion if they were in my shoes. my gut tells me its not just a one-way thing. as to how much the mutual like is, i don't know. but i think its there. And it just depends on me.i once told god that i'm very happy that he gave me a chance to feel what love/ liking someone is like. but at the same time, love can bring you immense pain. sure...i might get over him some day...and i might find a better guy some day, but at the moment, its just him.

my amazing weekend

ah yes...what an amazing weekend i had! anything to do with food makes me extremely happy. i had the chance to go for a buffet dinner at the Atrium cafe in sunway hotel.its standard buffet stuff, except they really have nice seafood. i ate lots of mussels, and the funny thing is, they taste really nice with thousand island. i only took 1 round of formal eating. the other two rounds were my desserts. i tried practically every dessert served, and yes, i did feel like a pig. A HAPPY PIG. my favourite were the miniature cupcakes, the homemade icecream and the cheesecake. the flam was also nice.
on sat i went to klcc for some shopping. finally got my jeans shorts there, and another round of binge eating. i had gelare there, and the jamaican chocolate was heavenly! i love my desserts...sigh...
today i went to the ptptn building to get my surat perlepasan pinjaman, only to be told later that mara is freezing all their loans. wow... i really feel like a stupid ass. plus, i got lost going there while all the time i had the address of the building inside my handbag. i know i'm blur in all aspects of life, but i never expected to be THIS blur.

i also am enjoying the LOST series on astro as well as little britain. great comedy... i love the brits dry sense of humor. that show parodies everyone and everything in the uk. and its funny, because there are ppl like that in the uk. i watched oprah yesterday, and it was a really moving show, about teenage girls and how worthless they feel about themselves. One of them actually called herself an ugly beast and said that she's the last person anyone would want to look at. another one said that she feels like she doesn't deserve her family because they were too good for her.

i know how they feel like and i don't blame them.i have my rotten days too, days when i feel like i don't want anybody to see me. i have always been shy since i was a little kid, and i really dont like it when people look at me. i feel that there's something on my face that makes them want to laugh. its amazing that women of all ages can feel so insecure about themselves just because of a thing called the MEDIA. i know somethings can never be changed, and in a horrid way, i'm actually glad i'm not the only one who feels that something is wrong with me.and yes...i think i need to see a shrink

frazzled

my dear friends, have you ever woken up one day just feeling utterly horrible? like you were meant to put yourself in the garbage bin that very instant? well, that's how i feel right now. see, when i am happy, i am utterly nice and good and blah blah. but when i feel like shit, you wouldnt' even want to be around me. i know i have a sour face, but multiply that sourness by 10 and you can imagine how i look today.

i am not sure what triggered this unhappy feeling. maybe im stressed out because i'm not studying like i'm supposed to. maybe i'm feeling claustrophobic and need more time to myself. and maybe i'm just frustrated at my condition right now. this feeling is like an itchy feeling. you want to get rid of it, but the more you pay attention to it, the worse it gets.

i wanted to write something really nice today. i had just finished dan brown's da vinci book and am particularly fascinated by the PHI equation. i was also to write something really spiritual today, about my thoughts on my religion, and where my stand is right now. but i can't .... i'll just wait another day.

yesterday i really had a nice cooking session. i truly love cooking, and actually, if i were to suck at medicine, i would like to be a western chef and specialise in desserts. i'd be eating my food most of the time, but who cares? cooking is really nice. it really takes the stress off of you.

i've also been doing so much tests..personality tests, kissing tests...sigh.

1. my kissing purity is 87%

2. i am a great communicator

3. i was a mute dancer in china in the past life

4. my general knowledge is poor, but my vocab and logic are exceptionally high

5. im funky, outdoorsy, hippie, free spirited

6. my daddy is arnold schwarzenegger

7. you all see me as a slow and steady person

8. the keys to my heart are exactly like bren's

9. i'm actually 22 years old

courtesy of blogthings.com

the real me

oh yeah, dida told me to do this... so here goes

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:

1. kr_is1

2. sarah

3. amazon ( i find this name utterly sexy!)


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my eyes and my eyelashes. my eyelashes particularly

2. my boobs. just the right size

3. my legs. nice if i'm wearing a knee length skirt


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my tummy. hate it

2. thighs. hate it even more

3. my round face. its very hard to match clothes, hair and accessories


THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Bidayuh

2. iban

3. british...but its watered down a lot. happened during the rajah occupation, so its about 8 or 9 generations ago.and i think it was a scandalous affair!


THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. guys coming up to me

2. people hating me

3. me being confused. i don't like it when im not sure of everything around me


THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. tv

2. sweet junk food

3. music

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. a knee length skirt

2. my reebok blouse

3. my underused white flat sandals

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:

1. U2. they rock, and they're original

2. mariah carey. her octaves are hot

3. jamiroquai...they are weird and eccentric. and i've liked them since sec school

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:

1. Unbreak my heart - Toni Braxton

2. Water runs dry- boyz 2 men

3. under the stars- mariah carey


Three things you want in a relationship:

1. mutual understanding

2. loyalty

3. deep love


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:

1. I am actually a shy person

2. I would love to wear a bikini

3. I am into mysticismy


THREE physical things about the preferrd sex that appeals to you:

1. eyes, must be sexy and beautiful

2. good upper chest

3. smile, definitely


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. exercise

2. shopping ( honest!)

3. meeting close friends


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. scream

2. punch someone

3. eat every flavor of ice cream at baskin robbins


THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:

1. nun

2. scientist/researcher

3. medicine

(2 down, 1 to go)


THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. new york

2. south africa

3. brazil

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:

1. Serena

2. Jordan

3. elizabeth

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. travel the world and go to remote places

2. join doctors without borders

3. have grandchildren


THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:

1. i love sports

2. i can be detached from people

3. i dont care what people think about me

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:

1. i love makeup and shopping

2. I extremely love gossiping

3. i am a good listener


THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:

1. Angeline chan

2. brendalai

3. megalomaniac giant

Thoughts at 2am

I haven't been blogging here for a long time so thought I should do my duty now and hopefully, anything that comes on is at least half-coherent.
It's Week 5 at Stanford, and like I've bemoaned to every one of my friends unfortunate enough to meet me online, I've never studied this hard in my whole life before.
The homeworks just keep a-comin' and 24 hours in a day never seemd so short before. It's 2am right now and I haven't gone to sleep, but I should. Goodness knows I don't get enough of it from Monday to Thursday.
Am staying up late because have been doing an abstract for a term paper for one of the courses I'm taking called Water Resources Management. Have chosen as my topic: the Bakun Hydroelectric Project. And you guys all know what a sensitive subject that is. The problem is, it's really hard to get any data on anything related to Malaysia on the Net and Malaysian scientists don't really publish papers (bad, bad habit people). So I will have to rely on foreign sources of information and on websites that are clearly anti-Bakun...o how to get an objective view on the whole issue??
But seriously, my own personal opinion is that it's just a giant white elephant. Have come across statements from our government ministers saying that Bakun is "environmentally friendly". Hello?? Do they even know what a dam is?? No dam is "environmentally friendly"! Nothing is "environmentally friendly" when you have to raze huge tracts of land and essentially drown it to build the darn thing!
But all that protesting against the project is futile because it's almost complete (should be done by the end of next year or so). The thing I'm hoping to focus on is the impact on the local people, some 10000, that have been relocated to Belaga in 1998 and in some respects, have yet to come to terms with their new homes and adapt. How could they, when you take away the land they've been living on for centuries and essentially tell them to find a new way of living? For all the government's statements about how the project is bringing development to the people, nobody asked if the people were unhappy with how things were and if they even wanted to be "developed" in the first place? I'm sure they might have said "no, thanks" if they knew that they were going to have to leave their fertile land for a less productive one in Belaga, or that they could no longer fish or hunt as freely as their ancestors did, or that they would be compensated for the land they lost but would have to use part of that compensation money to buy houses that the government built for them in Belaga (Huh??). Some of them aren't even compensated due to legaities and such: people in the interion aren't too particular about keeping land records and such. Did you know that one of the saddest things about it is that the graves that they left behind. If they want to relocate the graves, they would be paid RM1,000 and if they leave them behind, they get paid RM2,000 per grave. I have no words.
So.
As good Sarawakians, we just stood aside and let things happen because that's how we Sarawakian do things: we don't like to cause trouble. And keep in mind that the dam was being built in the first place to supply electricity to Peninsular Malaysia.. Not Sarawak, or even Sabah, but Peninsular Malaysia. It boggles the mind. It wouldn't even directly benefit us, the government had to come up with plans to develop side industries like cottage industries or ecotourism so that we wouldn't be totally left out. It brings to mind the image of a dog eating scraps thrown from the master's table. Sigh.
OK, going to stop now before I get ISA-ed. Blogs are dangerous. Didn't Sarah just do a rant against the Establishment a few months back?
It's 2.15am, time to go to sleep. Have to be up at 8am to go to Jasper Ridge (Stanford's "Rimba Ilmu", UM alumni would know what I mean).
Ta ta!

the stressed out chef

Before i continue with today's cooking class, i'd like you all to check out a website: http://jobpredictor.com. i found out i'm supposed to be a porn star in real life, and me pornie name would be RANDY RABBIT. Hilarious!! On the serious side, i do know that a lot of women take up pole dancing classes nowadays to get fit. Who wants to start one? and yes, i'm supposed to die on 10 June 2061. Remember this date. If any of you are still alive and not demented, pls check to see how i am. And i'm supposed to keep a pet giraffe to enlighten my life.

Today i decided to cook fried rice for the FIRST time in my entire life. I had to cook rice twice, because the first time it was too soggy. being the goose that i am, i thought that if i were to slow cook the rice in a pot it would be more dry. in the end, i burnt the rice and the pot. i don't know how i'm going to get rid of all the black marks on the bottom of the pot. i hate scraping stuff.

being a fighter, i tried to cook rice for a second time. this time, it was ok cos i used the little cup they provided to put the correct amount of water. then, i went preparing the ingredients. i put garlic and shallots in first, and i thought of getting the shallots out when they were nicely fried. instead, they turned completely black. The rest of the procedures were okay, and i finally got my fried rice at 11 am this morning. Carrefour has really nice premarinated meat, and this weekend i'm gonna try to cook steak and lamb chops for myself. if i ever get it right, i'll be truly proud of myself.

i had my presentation yesterday, and i'm still a bit scarred. i was really embarassed yesterday because my group was the only one whose q and a was more than 5 minutes, and ALL of the questions were asked by the lecturers. i did enjoy myself for the q and a, but after that i got really tired. and now i think the work we done must have been sucky or else we wouldn't get bombed so much. oh well, anyhow this is worse than when i was in um, cos for some reason, my ex lecturers always let me off the hook. i'm told that when i'm in sem 7 i have to do another research. Oh no!!!! *Sighs dramatically*

I also watched the Amityville Horror with my brother last weekend and let me tell you, i'm still in love with the gsc popcorn. Whether its lite and sweet or caramel, i love em all. The movie was ok, not as corny as ghost train, but i hate it when i myself can see all the ghosts. i think unseen things are scarier. nothing beats jap and thai movies. I'll be waiting for the movie 'the island' next week. and i heard initial d's pretty good too.

This brings me to genting. i've been asked to join friends for a trip there in the next two weeks, and i'm happy. but then i think of all the scary stories and i'm now unsure. to go or not to go? i might be going to redang too. hopefully the redang one does take off cos i've never been there before.

All goosed out

You're a Goose!

Most folks think you're silly, but those who know you best realize
that you can be quite serious and even vicious! You remind people of dinosaurs
with your stately gait and strange way of staring them down. People also associate
you with pillows and other elements of their bedding, but this just makes you
shudder. If you're from Canada, you've really been bugging people lately. What's
in the bag?


Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

ah yes, isn't it wonderful to be a goose? i thought that i might be an eagle or a vulture, but nooooooo, i had to be a goose. i've just finished my group research today, and feeling very tired right now. plus, i have to get my individual report done.

i am getting a little bit weighty because of the food i'm eating. lali n gang were supposed to eat mud pie last wednesday and instead, we went to kenny roger's. i'm not complaining, the choc muffin i had that day was superb. but now it means that the hole is my wallet is going to get bigger. i hear there's another REAL mud pie session to be held. Linda is also suggesting that we go to klang to have bakutteh/mud pie.

last thursday, i had durians for breakfast. as a result, i've been called mad. But, if you like something so much, and can't wait to get up in the morning for it, wouldn't any of you do the same thing for me? I want my mom to buy some slices of cake from secret recipe, since my bro is here. and last night, we watched Wrong Turn, such a stupid and disgusting movie.

My bro's hair is back to normal again, he must've chickened out from all the comments he got about his hair.i found out that not many people liked the movie war of the worlds. its boring and has a stupid ending.

i hate doing research, and i hope i never have to do it when i'm working. sure, it is fun discovering the results that you have, but writing and looking for review material is just too much for me. i can't stand it. i'd rather inject 100 patients a day or perform multiple births rather than doing research. my brain is feeling foggy right now.

Renal results came out last week, and the coordinator posted a reply regarding the feedback session. its always a joy for me to read what he has to say because he is so acidic in his comments.

glorious food

before i continue with my rantings, i just want to tell dida that she DOES lead an exciting life. okay, i've been eating and eating since last weekend,and i'm about to go out and have another food session later on. i went to watch war of the worlds yesterday, and it was really good! The ending is undoubtedly bad, but the whole thing, from the acting to the scripting to the directing, was good. AND scary. i mean, you can actually imagine all those things happening on earth in the near future. i give it 8/10, and its my fave alien movie together with independence day and MIB 1.

durian season is on full scale and last sunday i had loads of it. and i still feel like eating it. yesterday i had steak and some really good ice cream. i'll die if i'm dragged to gelare today. too much good food is bad. plus, my dad is here, and my mum will prob want to go to some nice restaurant. sigh.... i really have to jog like mad to make sure it doesn't go to my hips. its true, you know , that fat from the hips is 6times harder to go away than from the tummy.

i watched a bit of live 8 last weekend, and i'm really glad that musicians are taking time off to promote it. but,as to whether the whole thing really made a difference will only be known next week.

i saw this programme on discovery about doctors without frontiers. and its really sad that there are so many rich people as there are poor people. they showed doc and nurses in africa, and i was crying when i saw it. this nurse had to choose 50 ppl from a village to go to a feeing centre. and she had a hard time, because everyone needed help. The children were severely malnourished,and they were in constant pain because they were so thin. the worst part was this little boy who died in the hospital because the employees locked the equipment and he couldn't get a blood transfer. and all they could do, incl his dad, was to just wait for him to die. they say in africa its completely normal to have 2 or 3 of your kids to die. and they don't show any emotions because if they did, they would all be insane.

its true that G8 has to abolish the debt, but at the same time, the african leaders must also be clean. true, its hard to banish corruption completely.everyone wants to be rich, to have nice cars, nice clothes, go on a cruise. Who do i blame? i blame all those developed countries,for flaunting their richness at asia and africa, but not giving a damn about them. From south america, to brazil, to india, there are so many people who need help. true, i can't do anything about them. but i do wish those who could help them will do it. make the world a better place, like mj says.

old folks home

i wanted to write about this yesterday but i was too lazy to haul my butt up to imu.

as part of my selective, my gp had to go to an old folks' home in puchong, just to see how memory loss works, and to do some mental tests. We got lost on the way cos the driver thought we were going to an orphanage, so there we were, circling the same neighborhood 3 times.

i am being bias when i think of the elderly at an old folks' home. i still remembered when i was in form 2, and i had to go and do some charity work at the old folks home run by the Lion's club. it was pretty depressing to see them at the time, because they were really bed-ridden and sad. And i remember this one lady, who was really having dementia, and she kept undressing herself while my senior kept trying to dress her. and suddenly, she just peed on the floor.

When i was on the bus yesterday, i was thinking of that episode, and mentally bracing myself. To my suprise, the old folks' home is kinda small, its housed in a double-story hse. And the ppl there are really robust.Since my study involved questioning old ladies, i had to bring a friend who can speak mandarin, and we zoomed in on a few old ladies. but they were kinda shy...till this one lady came up to us.

i shall call her miss S, and i tell you, even if she's 69 yrs old, she's really a looker. she doesn't have any obvious wrinkles on her face and neck, and she has a very good memory, she scored quite high for the MMSE test. Jacqueline was translating for us most of the time, and this lady would just talk and talk. that was one of the best experiences i have ever had at an old folks' home. she was such a gem, and so were the others. One of the old men even played a harmonica piece for us, and this guy is 70++.

it took away my biasness towards how old folks' home are run, and the good thing about them is that they just dont sit down and stare into space. Miss S tells me in the afternoon they take up part time jobs,and in the evening they go exercise like walking in the parks. the only thing she was sad about was that there was not enough food for them.

i just hope that one day when i do have the cash and the time, i'd really like to help out on earth. i just realised last night, that our lives on earth are so incredibly short. and its true what god says, our lives are just a blink in time,so what we do when we're alive matters a lot :)

woe is me

8 am- woke up for a little while to take a piss. Thought of waking up for real, but went back to sleep.

8.50 am- wow...latest time i've woken up for this week. Proceed to stumble wildly to kitchen to prepare breakfast

9 am- am slow boiling porridge. added two eggs, some seaweed, generous salt, soy sauce and it still tastes bland. am worried that i will not cook good porridge like my granma.

9.10 am - eating in front of tv and drinking mango juice. Watching how a polar bear kills beluga whales by jumping on it repeatedly, only to have his meal stolen by a bigger polar bear. Then watch wacko animals on animal planet. Forgot about the animals anyway.

10 am- cleared breakfast and sitting on desk playing spider solitaire. starting to feel queasy and nauseous because of breakfast. feel seaweed going up throat. suppress desire to puke.

10.30am- trying to start typing for lit review. just managed to do abstract when i feel bloated and puking again. i now know how pregnant mommies feel

11.30 am - can't take it anymore!!! go to bed and do a yoga stance with eyes closed in the hopes of taking away nauseatic feeling. in the process, dreaming of a date with tony eusoff. hmmmm.....

12pm- dida wakes me up from my beautiful fantasy asking me for a bkshop's phone no. also calls me a f*** for suggesting she gets married! heheheh. am updated about the latest happenings, then proceed to rummage my already messy room for the phone no.in the process, i proceed to tell her that i got depressed when i read her blog yesterday. i'm feeling very OLD right now.

12.15pm- sigh...have to bathe and get ready for school.

1pm-busy getting ready and ironing skirt. wonder if i can borrow a cheesy romance novel from the lib.

1.50 pm- realised my aunt misscalled me. she's coming this fri, and i can predict a major shopping session with her. wonder if there are any mud pie sessions this week. queasy feeling coming back. Thinking of the beef stew i will be having tonite. yum!

A laundry room! With dryers! All your clothes cleaned automatically! Heaven!! 

memory loss

this is going to be my literature review for my physio selective. exercise and memory loss, to be exact. Since this month is so slo-mo, i find myself waking up around 8-10 every morning, eating my breakfast, and wanting to go back to sleep again.

the sem 5 results are out, and i bid a goodbye to all my seniors. i'm hoping they all did well and all passed. i hope none of them have to resit, cos that would make me scared. i am now deciding whether i should really go to a doc and get some more antibiotics cos i;m still coughing like mad. on the other hand, i kinda like it; its like exercising when you're sitting. ever heard research about where they say ppl who fidget more lose more cals? well, i think i am an example of one. the worst thing is when i can't sleep at night. that sucks.

Gayatri and irene came to my place yesterday to return my house of wax dvd. i must say, i like the way paris hilton died. it was the highlight of the entire movie. i managed to watch a little bit of 'growing up gotti' and suprise, surprise, i think that her son carmine is absolutely cute!! he's got the looks and the style. And i still prefer paris to nicole richie. She's not so bitchy as the former.

dida is now becoming the official shrink of many ppl, including me. she does make a good one, i might add. no pretensions, no soft words, just right-smack-in-your-face. haha, i'm thinking she's actually blushing now!

i am so blur

thanks to my dad giving me the kalimantan flu virus, i've been having sleepless nights for this week. I'm coughing like nobody's business. and i would like to thank bren for giving me a nice pic of american longkang covers.

i went out to bangsar for dinner last night with dida and a new acquaintance, fizah, the two of them are so alike in mind, its fate that they were bound to be good friends. ah, convent girls. how i like the way we think and speak!

the topic last night was about jackass men, specifically s'wakian lads. before any of you guys bash meup, i'd like to say not all of u are that bad, just some. And they happen to be from my races. How embarassing!! I went through another malaysian toilet experience. and this is no joke; when i was peeing a cockroach was racing in front of me. huh.

the topic above is because after the girlie talk i had last night, i've just realised how blur i am when it comes to guys. really,really blur. i wouldn't even know a guy likes me until he says it straight in my face.

anyway, the physio selective i'm doing is ok. thank god i have no exams, its the most relaxed i've ever been.i'm trying my bestest to start studying for sem 5, but i still feel so lax.

Sarah has a picture of a Kuching manhole, so I have a picture of a Stanford manhole. :) 

KKB sem 4

Now that i know dida's blogger is working just fine, i'll continue with my kkb story. It all started last thurs when the bus came to pick us up. A tourist bus, to be exact, and there were only 7 of us in the bus. cool, now all the folks think we're jap tourists. the bus driver used the bukit beruntung route instead of the normal one. so it took us to places i never knew before. i came across this township that was smack in the middle of nowhere. its like so many shoplots were being built, but 80% are deserted. it looked dead. the scenery later was nice. we passed thru mountains, paddy fields and vege plots. i was busy trying to get nice photos but its not easy when the bus is swinging around.

that evening was pasar malam, and kkb's pasar malam is da bomb. all of us bought food, biscuits and kuih. i dunno, i feel like i can find basically much more stuff than the kl pasar malams. the next day we went back to kl by public bus. if you think kl buses are crazy, the kkb buses are suicidal. its just like formula one, except that you're in a bus. my hair was swirling around me, and the bus brakes like crazy, throwing everyone about. lali swore she saw a lady in front of her making the sign of the cross. hah. but overall, it was a good adventure. then, we were back in kkb on sunday and stayed till thursday.

the food in kkb is sublime. cheap and really good. i got my last experience of kkb waffles and ice-cream. and yeah, me and lali bought some chinese mag called candy. My version has some soft porn love story that made the cheerleader go high. he has this ability to zone in to the story with the most action. The funny part was when the story had to be translated in english. we spent most nights playing pictionary and cluedo. we were so noisy on one particular night that this lady went to scold us (it was raining some more) and telling us that we were stupid and no brains. Sheesh. and to my utter misery,i was a sandwich between the ever bickering lali and cheerleader. and it didn't help that i was labelled a pygmy.but the good thing was that lali and i agreed that cheerleader's brain IS the size of a mosquito's (if they DO have any brains at all). And it didn't help that i caught him looking at himself in the mirror one too many times. Metros, i tell you!

The hospital experience was good, and i actually learned a lot esp for my obs and gynae history taking.i still will stress that the obs and gynae history taking is one of the hardest.We had a barbecue on tuesday evening, and it was fun, with all the girls taking turns helping. for desert, i learnt that if you put a marshmallow and a small cadbury bar in between 2 biscuits, its really yummy! But nothing beats eating soft, goey marshmallow that's just been roasted.

the last night we were telling ghost stories. the final two really creeped me out. we all slept at 5 am that morning, and i was so creeped out i actually slept with the lights on. i do like sleeping up late and waking up late and taking brunch.

i have loadsa pics from kkb, just give me time to put everything online. and yeah, kkb rocks!

batman bale

heloo there! i've just come back from my bittersweet kkb posting. since i'm at dida's place , and she's telling me blogger's not functioning properly, i've decided to write about batman.

i am still coughing like nuts, but this is because of me gobbling ice cream, ice kacang and cheese cake like mad. am at dida's place now, and i haven't met kieran yet. saw angie and her friend cheng yesterday and the three of us watched batman.

Oh man, Christian bale is sooooooooooo hot. He's the most gorgeous batman to date, and can actually act too. But at times his voice sounds a bit fakey. And yes, i am glad the producers decided not to put nipples on his suit. both angie and i agreed that if we can't have christian as our bf, we could at least try to get a car like the batmobile. True, its big and bulky and not sleek at all, but it does remind me of the frogmobiles the us army has. and the part when batman has to change positions when he wants to fire the enemy or use his jetpower booster is just great.

But christian bale being the batman is the bomb. i dunno, he just fits the persona of batman. my most hated batman is val kilmer. he and his big lips. and michael caine gave a really good performance too. katie holmes was just useless in the movie. they should have given some romance in it.

after that, we went to eat at esquire kitchen, and when we ordered 3 gizzards, it really IS just 3 gizzards. Shocking! Then we met up with her cousin and his friend. if you are reading this angie, i think he's really good looking.its just that he's taken :{ then dida and i went shoe and hat shopping and to my utter dismay, i find out that she can pull of just about every shoe that was on display. even the ones that i find disgusting. i found a pageboy hat that i really liked in topshop. honestly, i look kinda cute in it, like a little girl. its gonna set me back 73, and i'm gonna wait for my dad to buy it for me. i am also aiming on which shoes to buy for my clinical years. i have already targetted one hush puppies heel which looks really nice on me.

then i went to meet up with yvonne and the cheerleader at chilli's. due to my bad cough, i couldnt' drink anything, and dida got formally introduced to them. i had a fun time bashing the cheerleader,and he kept on talking about pygmies and jungle people. i wish i could throw him into the jungle one day and watch him get gored by wild boars. and i think there was a gay waiter that was staring all the time at cheerleader. and when we all went out, the waiter was looking him up and down. EEk!

Creepy but true...

The four boys who were lost in the jungle at Fraser's Hill were found yesterday morning. They reportedly told a member of the rescue team that they had followed a clearly marked trail and followed it till they came upon a "Dead End" sign. When they turned around to retrace their path, the trail was gone and try as they might, they couldn't find it. It was all just dense jungle.
You'd be an "abnormal" Malaysian to not have questions about the supernatural-ness of this incident.
After reading the newspaper article, my mom and my brother had their own stories to tell.
My mom lived in the "sua teng" when she was a kid, and her elders would tell her and her siblings to be extra careful when they were out at night, even in the yard. There was one piece of advice that her naughty brothers didn't follow, which was not to pee anywhere they wished after running around the compound (remember, they were "sua teng" kids :) ). They were told to ask for permission nicely before going about their business, if you know what I mean. But of course, they didn't, until one night they came back into the house real quiet and when my mom asked, they wouldn't tell, but they heeded their elders' advice after that.
My brother had a more sensational story: he had a school friend who was extra sensitive about these things and saw otherworldly entities all the time. My brother asked him whether they looked like they did in the movies, all transparent and hazy, but the friend said they looked like real people except that they would be missing limbs or something. Scary.
I for one, sense, see and hear nothing. I am grateful for this blurness because I can't even watch horror movies, much less experience one.
My friend Tracy told me once that she thought I was quite brave during my first year in university. Why? Because her friend had told her ghost stories that allegedly happened in the college hostel where I was staying and not only that, but that the room that I was staying in (and the other rooms near the toilet) was a hotspot of activity! Well, I can truthfully say that my one-year stay there was uneventful. I can laugh about it now, but it's a good thing she had the good sense not to tell me the stories when I was dorming there. I wouldn't have been able to get a good night's sleep!

* * *
Was watching a documentary that featured the Shaolin monks on Discovery. There are 7 year old Shaolin apprentices who could kick my butt and make me beg for meercy in less 2 minutes flat...maybe less even. I can't even bend over and touch my toes without pulling a hamstring.
Ouch.

P.S. "Sua teng" translated loosely: jungle, rural.

nightmares

Geez,i am so lazy to write after a long hiatus. i was really sick, so i didnt feel like writing anything. besides, last week my whole family flew down to kl for the gawai holidays, so i had to layan them. Gawai dinner was good, there was a lot of food imported from kuching, esp the ikan terubok and tiger prawns. Yum! NOt forgetting both my grandmas brought all their cakes and lemang. To this day, i have tins of cakes with me....gonna get fat pretty soon.ONe of my uncles also brought satay kajang, and it was weird becos i was thinking of asking my mom to drive to kajang one day just for that.i finally got to see my cousins again after a long time, and we took some pretty good pics.NOw i just need a place where i can host all the pics, there must be around 50 pics in total from my kuching trip and the gawai night.
I am now going to tell the story about how i got 3 nightmares in 3 consecutive nights. i'm not sure whether its me taking all those drugs,or my brain being hyperactive. plus, i seldom get nightmares.......so lets start:

nightmare 1: This concerns me and a crush i used to like when i was in uni. in this dream,he is now a succesful businessman, married and having an affair with a very beautiful young girl. The weird thing is, the setting is in a cafe and i'm eating at the table opposite them with a friend.for one, it hurts like hell seeing your ex-crush with someone younger and more gorgeous. two, this dream is so wacky. Anyway,out of nowhere, his wife pops up and finds out the two of them there. he, being the chicken, just leaves her and joins his wife. the mistress was left alone, and she played with her hp.then, she joins them, and sits next to the wife. She just keeps on looking at him. if you can imagine how a puppy looks at you when it wants something, that's how she was. And in my dream, she looks like the actress sofea jane. And me? Being unlucky enough not to be the wife or the girlfriend. Sob!


Nightmare 2: This dream took place in santubong,kuching and its about a class trip to the beach.it doesn't really involve imu ppl nor the st tri's. in the dream, one teacher dared us students to swim to a nearby island in pairs. The winners will get some nice prizelah. i can remember that i paired myself up with a girl, and that i was swimming first. Suddenly, there was this really huge wave that crashed into us, and i could feel myself drowning, literally, and i remember the sensation of the waves pulling me deeper into the sea. the first time i tried to surface, i couldn't beat the sea. i tried a second time and they managed to pull me out. in this dream, around 20 students were missing...and my dream fastforwarded towards nighttime, when the low tide came. so, the teacher asked us to volunteer to walk out to look for the missing students. i did, and me and a friend walked around the beach. The first person i found was a friend i knew, and he was just entangled among the lalang surrounding the kampung. Then, both of us walked out to sea, and after a few mins walking, we found another guy whose legs were sticking out of the sand. we couldn't even pull him out at all. i said a prayer, and after that, a shooting star flew over ( like the release of his body). Then i was back in the kampung house, and feeling creepy all over, because all the souls of the undead were roaming, and we couldn't find the others.

Nightmare 3: this is my own fear of never checking my feet. i always thought my feet were pink and healthy. one fine day, i looked down, and saw that it was smelly, black in color, just like a dead foot,except its attached to me. worse still, the skin was flaking off,like a sheet of paper, and i didn't know whether i should peel it or cut it with a pair of scissors. in the middle of my foot,there was a hole like this:




except that i could stretch open the hole and look inside. And to my utter disgust, i found a white worm wriggling inside. i mentioned it to my dad, and he just smiled, went to my foot opened it wide and took something to extract the worm out. in my dream, i saw him stretching the hole so wide and just tugging at the worm. and i think i was screaming from the pain. when he took it out, the worm was totally white, except for a black band in the middle.Yucks!!

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Sarah, where are you?

My blog boss Sarah has gone AWOL for about a week now and I have a feeling that the photos she promised me is not going to show up anytime soon....