The last day of lectures

Today is the last day...



That M203 will be having lectures

Will be shouting the name PHANG in class

Will be seeing each and every person in class

That i will be eating at the rooftop with my friends



Its only 2 more weeks to the finals. Most people were so stressed out over their exams that they forgot to bring their own cameras for the phototaking shoot today.

its painful that i will not see all of my classmates for a long time after this. Most of them will be scattered all over the globe, and i honestly don't think itll be that easy to catch up with them again.

who would've thought that it would be over so fast?

bruised but not out

Finals is in 3 weeks time and already both my eyes are bulging out from exhaustion. My stress level was at its highest peak today, and i couldn't concentrate at all during pbl. i have so many things i want to do after exams: a trip to sunway waterpark, and a holiday somewhere (hopefully bangkok). i have no idea why i'm so fascinated with bangkok, it seems so mysterious and exciting.

i had a lecture yesterday about physical abuse and boy, was it informative. I didn't know, for instance, that there were more shelters for animals in our country than there were for abused women. its kinda ironic, isn't it, that we should care more for animals than we do for our own folk. and a few days ago, i read that the only shelter for abused men in our country has closed.

there are so many reasons why women don't dare tell that they've been abused. What makes me angry is that after they've disclosed their sufferings, they will actually be blamed for it. Maybe their relatives will accuse the women of not being good housewives and mothers, and most people in society will reject them after that. i find it truly unfair that women have to go through so much in life.

1. We have to maintain our physical image, especially in Asia as i think asian men are more critical of looks

2. We are under pressure to get married one day. If we don't all our relatives will think that there's something wrong with us

3. We have to endure the pain of childbirth. something that scares me to death whenever i think about it.

4. We have to bring up the kids, be a good wife and maintain household order. We also have to maintain our shapely figure, lest our husbands' eyes start to stray.

5. life is much harder when we are single mothers, we often don't get the support we get, and we get stigmatised for not being good housewives.

6. we encounter sexual advances at the workplace, or anyplace else.


Therefore, if any guy shall attempt to physically/mentally abuse me, i shall be ready with my sarcasm and my frying pan!

Of curries and Kuih

its been a long time since i've posted anything here. Once you stop writing, you feel so lazy to do it that it almost becomes a chore for you. but i miss my blog, and i miss interacting with it. seriously it has become a part of me that letting my blog die is like letting a small part of me die. i had this conversation today about blogs, and i'm thinking whether personal blogs are better than public blogs. the thing about personal blogs is that you can write whatever the heck you want about Everything, and no one will bother you about it. Public ones are great when you have visitors coming up to check on your blog and giving interesting comments about what you write. I dunno...sometimes i wished that my blog would be more personal, but sometimes i feel like it would be boring if no one else were to read it.

The raya and deepavali holidays ended last week, and my house is full of cookies. its bad cos nowadays with all the exam stress i tend to shove all sorts of food inside my mouth. my pimples are also coming back, not the small ones, but the sporadic and huge mushroom types. the good thing about these types of pimples is that they tend to go off sooner. the bad- Everyone notices them and has to make a comment about it, especially if its smack in the middle of your forehead!

I went to some open houses during deepavali, totally enjoyed myself eating bryani rice and mutton curry, only this time the curries at most houses seem a bit bland, i think they put less santan in it for health reasons. I saw Pitch Black for the first time and man...does Vin Diesel have a great body!! If only they'd put vin diesel and the rock in a movie together, i'll be the first one to line up at the cinemas. Pontianak harum s.m totally freaked me out, and i had to sleep with the lights on. i find it amazing that malaysia has SO many types of ghosts. i never in my life would want to cross paths with a ghost, but i would like to see pics of one. There are haunted tours being conducted in kl, and if i have the time and money, i'd like to go on one. i do believe in some aspects of the ghost stories that people tell, but as to how they can inflict death on ppl makes me a little bit sceptical. i guess i rely on god to protect me from all this kind of stuff. i know it always seems like i contradict myself, but i guess that's how i am!

Creep


When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather,
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special,
you're so fucking special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong here

She's running out the door,
she's running,
she run, run, run, run, run.

Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special,

but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.

by Radiohead


This rates as one of my favourite angsty songs. Alanis Morissette can't be beat though. If you're feeling shitty and feel like nothing's going right, this song expresses your emotions for you.

choclolate toxicity

My stomach feels queasy now because of the chocs i ate last night. i think it was too late at night to eat chocs. i wonder how the world would be like if the mayans didn't discover cocoa. How would our society be?? would our sex lives be dismal? would we be gorging ourselves on chips the whole day, and would we still be a bunch of barbarians??? i'm so grateful for the chocolates that have ever been made (not dark ones though).

I've watched Doom last week, and hope to watch the Corpse Bride and Chicken Little the next week. Doom is basically your kill and shoot movie, its based on the video game of the same name. I think the only reason i watched it was because of the Rock and Karl Urban, and of course, the popcorn. i saw the chicken little trailer and boy, he's a really cute chick. i know the movie is for kids but who cares... give me a bag of popcorn and i'll be happy.

The pms matching results are out, and i've come to realise that i only have 5 weeks to see everyone in class. its going to feel so weird not being with close friends, and to start another new chapter in life.

EOS is coming in 6 weeks time. i have given up hope of studying everything. instead, i'll just be focusing on what i think has a higher chance of coming out. to make matters worse, the first week after raya i'll be having mock osce, and i didn't even know it until today.i'll have to make do with what i have. Everyone is super stressed and running around in circles. i have felt my bp slowly but surely rising as the exams come calling!along with this, large amounts of junk food are entering my mouth and depositing on my thighs. The culprits are chocs, cakes and keropok. i don't know why, but eating while studying is SO enjoyable.

Next week National Geographic will be airing an interesting documentary about the origins of man. We all know that man is descended from one ADAM, but just how did ADAM look like? the possible theory is that we mankind originated from africa, and migrated to all corners of the earth. Along the way, our genetic structures were modified to adapt to the land we lived in. In asia especially, it is found that millions of men have one original Big Daddy-Genghis Khan. Due to Genghis's conquering ways of both women and land, he manages to sire lots of kids. I think it would be great to find out who my ancestors are. it would be great having genghis as my great granddaddy though, its like a piece of history is embedded within you.

the health issues are so boring...we're supposed to watch a movie called outbreak and i don't think i've seen it before. most of the time in class i just sit with my head in the clouds.

bipolar disorder

whew...i've just finished my cns exam. it is not easy...i repeat...IT IS NOT EASY!!!!

i look something like a corpse bride right now (minus the fabulous figure). i'm really tired, i feel like sleeping right on the com keys . Yesterday our beloved PM's wife passed away. i was quite shocked when they announced it on the radio because i assumed that she was getting better. i watched the entire burial process on tv, and its pretty interesting how it was done. plus, i've never seen the ministers close up. may she rest in peace.

i have lost a kg just because of the stupid exam. its kinda good to lose it, but i will no doubt gain it again by this weekend. why did i say the exams was hard? because there's so much to learn and yours truly studied really last minute for it. a whole question just about bacteria came out, and i managed to 'shoot' pretty well. unfortunately, my ospe went haywire,and ironically i'm gonna lose a lot of marks from there. i have no idea what i'm going to get, but i rate the toughness on par with renal.

i have now become a fan of zombie movies! i watched dawn of the dead, and man, was it good. there's another movie called 24 hours which is almost similar. its really realistic and you can actually imagine the world like that in the future. i 've also watched sound of thunder, and would advise potential moviegoers to stay away from it!!!

this morning i watched a program about japan called "naked festival" its held once a year to bring away all of japan's bad luck. all the bad luck is transferred to a guy called the monk, who has to run naked on the city streets and being chased after by 10,000men. if they succeed in touching any part of him, they can get rid of their bad luck. and all these men are also naked and drunk. Japan fascinates me, simiply because their culture is just so unique.

and a few days back in the local papers, they ran an article about what sort of food one eats determines ones character. for example:

a person who loves to eat steak- in an angry mood

loves to eat cakes and biscuits- sexually frustrated/deprived

loves to eat ice-cream, chocs, cookies- is filling up an empty void within

i'm actually a combo of all the 3 above, so poor me!

i'll be going on an eating spree again this weekend, and next week i have to embark on a dieting regime. its really hard to eat all sorts of fatty food while trying to maintain the same weight.

A week of expression

A week has come and gone by, and there has been so much going on. the imu cup has officially ended last tuesday, and the sem 3's have won. i went to watch the cheerleading contest that night, and i'm glad i went. the pharm students gave a really good performance, and they were all so synchronized. Almost all of them had the same body size and gave a very splendid performance. i was very proud of my batchmates who performed that night. We had the spirit and determination to succeed. we deserved to win the cheerleading contest. the sad part is that we lost the overall champioship to sem 3 by only 2 points. there were some sports that we should have won, but alas, things aren't meant to be. all the students who participated in the games deserve a round of applause because at the end of the day, having fun and making friends is what matters most.

i have not been exercising this week, and my body parts feel flabby. i love it when i'm exercising cos my muscles feel toned, and i do feel more lithe. i will go jogging tmr morning, cos i seem to be eating nonstop again. i'm kinda sick of guys judging a girl's appeal by the size of their bodies. i do admit that physical appearance is important, but hey, all girls can't be as stick thin as kate moss, can they? and do guys ACTUALLY prefer those kinds of girls? i dunno. been listening to some angstsy songs lately, and i love 'Creep'by Radiohead. it conveys all my emotions, feeling like an idiothead, and not belonging anywhere in society. i sometimes feel that its really tiring to make everyone like you and respect you. i am the type of person that doesn't really care much, actually. i guess i have been foraging in the jungles of Sarawak too long to care about what other people think. I'm just joking...but yeah, as long as i know i have good friends, its all right. And if someone does call me a b*****, i guess i'll take it as a compliment. i must've intimidated them so much to be actually called one.

Went for the art competition today, and enjoyed myself listening to poems. A number of my classmates won, so i'm pretty glad for them. The dikir barat performances and choir were superb, and i am amazed again that there are so many talented people in this uni. amazing...its like they were blessed with everything. before i went to sleep last night,i was thinking about the people around me,and somehow i realised that each and every one of them has a talent. it may be obvious, it may be subtle, but its there. and talent comes in all forms; whether its brains, sports, music, people skills, each and every one of us was given something precious by God. I think most of us don't realise we have it, it takes other people to see it. anyway, the MC for todays artcom. was so lame, and he seems to have fun mocking and making fun of everyone. but who am i to judge? maybe he was nervous, maybe he didn't prepare himself. whatever it is, i was torn between crying and wanting to throw a javelin at him. i think the latter would be a better choice.

God's Mooncake

Boy, have i been procrastinating a lot. i'm still amazed that despite all my years of studying, my study methods have never improved. I can still sit at my table for hours, with not a single detail going into my head. Instead, i'm just daydreaming away. Horrible, isn't it? CNS is into its 3rd week, and i'm plowing along. the csu for this system is the toughest so far. i've had a grilling from one of the lecturers about the cranial nerves, and i'm very scared of the osce. NOt knowing your stuff is one thing, but to really feel like a fool is another thing. and that csu lecturer had a fun time making us feel stupid. one thing that irked me though, is the lecturer's very straightforward way of asking q's. THis is one weird question he asked someone in my group:

Lect: Why are you so short? Who in your family member is short?

Student: I think its my mom

Lect: Who else in your family is short? Your brothers/sisters?

Student: ONly me, i guess

Lect: Do you actually know why you're short?

Student: (Bewildered look on face) No....

I guess its okay to ask a question like that, but it did strike as being a bit crass to me. If anyone were to ask me that question, i'd reply that i'm related to Gimli the dwarf, and i'm very proud to have warrior blood in me (not to mention rich relations!

I went to church last weekend, and it was no big deal for me. I somehow wish more priests would not scold the congreggation so much. we do have the right to be scolded, but i think a softer approach would be better. i always remember Fr. Hanrahan who was so gentle and soft spoken, and what he said would go into my thoughts.At the end of mass, the church gave out free mooncakes to everyone. i was bowled over! If you all remembered, i was lamenting that i wouldn't be able to eat mooncakes this yr because my mom thought it was too fattening. So, i did view the mooncake as a gift from god, and told my mom so. She was telling me that this is proof that god does know each and every one of us, and all we have to do is have faith in him and trust him. I do hope you all know how i feel, there are just some things in my life that i do find inexplicable, and to be honest, god really does surprise me at times.

I am dying for my cns anatomy. it doesn't help that all the notes are just pictures,and nothing else. the foreign accents and the frieght train speed that the lectures are carried out are not much of a help either. i am now beginning to realise the enormous importance of the brain, and yes, it is definitely the toughest system.

Imu cup will be over by next week, and my batch is trailing behind the juniors. i wouldn't worry about it though, i know we will get through. I am now hopelessly broke as a result of continuously eating out at lots of fatty places. i went swimmming at the bj aquatic centre last tue and man, where there a lot of hot bods around! I am now regretting that i didn't go there sooner. its a nice change for once to see other faces outside of imu (with nice bodies to boot). i have no idea why i'm still scared of swimming in deep places though. the moment i know its deep, i feel panicky and actually can't swim. i must get rid of my phobias.

spasmic

My hamstrings are aching, my msk results will be out in 10minutes time, i haven't started studying properly for cns, i'm having csu in 10 mins time, and the girls futsal retained their champioship title for 3 years running! What a week.

i am still trying to weasel my way out for the running event by having more people do the tryouts. somehow my libido for imu cup has totally gone down this year. i have not been participating in a lot of things, and i don't feel the semangat to watch majority of the sports. And, as a result of not warming up properly last week, i sustained a hamstring stretch that still hasn't healed till today. What am i going to do? i figure if i were to run anyway, i'd just start sprinting midway through the track like a pack of wild dogs has chased me. nevermind that I AM the slowest,i'll just run like a rabid wild dog and see how it goes.

i haven't been studying all that properly for cns. there are just too many things to distract me. Went to see the girls futsal yesterday,and man, do we deserve to win the title. Ken lin was in her prime, i'm sure if it was only her against an entire team, she would still be able to score goals. Everyone who was on the team was equally good last night, they complimented each other perfectly. Suk yii and jo screamed their lungs out for ken lin . I feel so proud of my batch and how they have this fighting attitude. Today will be the relay race, and i'm sure they'll be able to do it.

My dinner last night consisted of 2 slices of cake and some naan bread. unhealthy, but sometimes when its past your dinnertime, you just don't feel like eating solid food. Talked a lot of crap as usual, and i'm surprised that my friends think i'm really dirty-minded. i told them i used to be, but now i've handed over the title to my other friends! More amusing was the fact that they think i'm a pro at watching risque' movies, and were shocked to hear that i'm still innocent! I must say, my reputation precedes me...now i've got to maintain it.

oh yeah, about the former datuk stockbroker who was free of all charges of killing his chinese nephew, i'm not sure what to say. it reminds me of the noritta samsuddin case. there are two things to learn from it though; the defense team must've done a heck of a good job making his client look innocent. And the prosecution must've fumbled somewhere. i wont' say about who deserves to win, but what caught my attention was the anguish of the boy's parents. they deserve to know what actually happened to him, and it breaks my heart to see things like this. Sometimes humans are actually not very different from animals. the extent of cruelty that we can inflict on other, including other living creatures, is amazing.what makes us different is that we KNOW we are wrong, but still keep doing it anyway.

Creep

I've had quite a fabulous weekend, and because of that, the 1kg that i had lost during my food poisoning came back on. Its never a good thing, especially when your jeans and trousers feel tight again. Doh!

I went for the track and field trials last fri,and to my dismay, i find out that i am no longer as fast as i used to be. I do blame my hostel and ss17 during my um years, because it was really sports unfriendly. there were no parks to run, and the only exercise i got was walking 10 minutes to buy my rm 2.30 food and coming back again to my hostel. 4 years of no exercise at all, how sad is that?On the bright side,i am confident that my batch will do so much better than last years performance. the sprint queens are running, and the guys are also fast. Wei woon and Phang were really fast. I told a few classmates about Phang's running abilities, and they were quite impressed. Now, there is an unofficial Phang fan club and i heard a banner might be made for him should he run this time. But i seriously do respect him, and you just have to see him run to believe me. I unfortunately might be running for the 400 relay, an event i do not really like because at the end of the lap i just feel like throwing myself on the ground and lying there. it feels like your chest has been squeezed and there's no oxygen left for you to breathe.

Later that night, i had a choc binge for the dolphin and the tortoise. its a shame that only langkawi can sell duty free chocs. My faves are the swiss orange choc. surprisingly, choc and oranges do go well together. we ended up watching lots of corny tv and talking till our voices (mine, actually) went hoarse. Went to sleep at 4 am, and woke up 4 hours later and finding out that my mom wants me to go to midv with her.

I went to watch the movie Creep and its so-so, i give it 6 out of 10. The main star is Franka Portente,last seen in the bourne conspiracy. i find franka's face arresting. she is not drop dead gorgeous, but there's somthing about her face that makes you want to look at her more and more. its basically about her wanting to get on the last train but having fallen asleep, she goes on one in which she is the only passenger. its quite creepy if you're one of those people who use the railway systems often. and the monster in this movie looks like gollum.

Then, i went to MPH and had a fun time with books. i bought 3 books about the life of Adrian Mole, for 70 bucks only. really worth it! after my exams next year, i plan to spend just an entire day there and read books, so i wouldnt' have to waste money on them. there are quite a lot of new novels coming out which are pretty interesting. I also went to the romance self-help corner (couldn't help myself!) and find it amazing that there are so many books that are trying to help the hapless humans of the world in the matters of love. It can either make you happy or make you depressed. i was happy for one thing though, the book i wanted to buy for a long time- Haiku for Lovers - is finally available. its not that horny, but even if you're single you would still find the book a nice read.

After that, my mom wanted to go to cinnabon, so okay, and the next thing i'm ordering a choc cinnabun and a coffee flavored cinnamon drink. the waiters there are mostly from borneo, and the instant i walked in with my mom they started playing sabahan music. Seriously, i am not being perasan because it has happened to me at least twice. before we came in there was no music at all. i think its quite nice of them to do that, but i should have told them i'm from Sarawak. the next time i go there i'll bring my iban tapes along and tell them to play it when i'm around. Any of you wishing to hear ethnic music should come with me to Cinnabon one day.

On sunday,i spent the morning swimming and trying to undo my muscle aches from last fridays run. then i slept most of the time. In the evening my bro came back from kch, so i had my share of kch food *orgasmic sigh* i also got a look of how my cousin's wedding went. i still wished i was there, weddings are always interesting and fun. the wedding was at the bride's longhouse, and practically my whole kampung went. it takes about 4 hours to reach there. the bride looked very pretty , and my cousin looked okay. i am going to remind him that he needs to lose weight though. i have finised the first diary of adrian mole, i am now in the second book. its quite funny in a dry british way. C'est la vie!


Theme song for this week: Feel Good by Gorrilaz

Happy days

Yeah, this is me in my past life



i've been blogging about so much depressing stuff that i'm kinda sick of it too. Its the beginning of fall for the western countries, and for me, its the beginning of my mooncake chow down. so far, my mom has resisted all efforts to buy me one, for fear it will add on to my thigh and my butt. i don't know about you guys, but my favorites are the ones where its made out of flour skin and you have to keep it in the fridge. If it comes with a double egg yolk, so much the better!

Oh yeah, IMU cup is coming soon.some games have already started, but i feel like its muted down this year. Probably because the sem 2s and sem 4s are not back yet. its always interesting to take part. I am really not sure if i am going to run this year, there will be a practice tmr. I just hope i can go for the 4x100. if not, maybe the 4x400, though i'm not so keen on the latter. for me its just the sheer fun of doing something else other than studying.And its something to do before i go away from BJ.

i just got my new id card today. its a bit different from the old one. For example, at the back of my card they have put down the standard precautions that must be remembered by students:

1.Handwashing
2.Personal protective equipments
3.Prevention of needle stick

Maybe one day if i do have a concussion, i will thank my uni for reminding me of what i'm supposed to do.

the neuro system has just started this week, and i'm feeling relaxed. the one thing i find amazing was that on the first day itself i went to find reference books. when the whole bunch of us went there, the whole shelf was already ransacked by other students 2 days ago. There we were, the bunch of us standing around, gaping at the war torn bookshelves and not knowing what to do. Finally we just picked up whatever books we could find. Its kinda funny actually, cos the bookshelves did look like it was bombed apart by a mortar shell.

my head is spinning for the neuro anatomy. i have no idea what is important and what i'm supposed to study. it doesn't help that only pictures are given,and the lectures are sometimes conducted in incomprehensible language. i still remember in sem 1 when a friend of mine wrote this down: mortar board. it was actually supposed to be motor cord. and she was shaking her head as she was writing this.

i went to the pasar malam again this week, and a friend of mine really likes the assam laksa there, that she has even suggested to me that we steal the assam laksa van. Can you imagine the both of us selling assam laksa in front of the uni? I would prefer steally the FAtty Steamboat van though, as i am so in love with the food!! I might ship one to kuching one day. I am going to see the zombie movie Land of the Dead because i have never seen a zombie movie before, except for resident evil 4, that is.

And finally, i have realised yet again, that i do need god to help me with my daily life. sometimes you think you can solve things on your own, but in the end, if you don't find the external strength that you need, you'll end up being depressed and broken.

Theme song for this week: Wake me up when September Ends (green day)

Hope all of you will have a good week !

my september

summer has come to pass,
the innocent can never rest,
wake me up,
when september ends

by Green Day

Just last night i was sitting in my room and contemplating about death. all the events happening so far, a friend losing a family member, hurricane Katrina, soppy romantic mournful poems, unrequited love not being returned, the mortality of human life, was bogging my brain yesterday. There are so many things i can comment upon, but it would be too much for all of you.

1. Death.

I am afraid of death. i am afraid of dying, be it dying in a car accident, when i'm flying over the South China Sea, or even from food poisoning (i kid you not!). Whenever my family flies here from kuching to kl, i worry about them. i worry that theire flight will be ok. i even worry about my mom when she drives to and fro from work every day. i used to take my family for granted a few years back, but not so much now. i used to not be on really good terms with my mom, but now its ok. i guess god has a funny way of patching things up.

2. New Orleans

I know i've never told you all this, but i used to stay here for half a year when i was 9 years old. my whole family stayed there cos my dad was studying there. The school i went to was all black;i was the only asian there. Everyone assumed i was from China. Thank god they didn't try to speak chinese with me. the only other non black was a white girl. i stayed there from winter till end of summer. During that time, i watched the Mardi Gras parade (got lots of bead necklaces), went for church on weekends, then went walking around the riverside. Lousiana is famous for crawfish, its like a little shrimp and the people there eat it like how we eat kuaci. The French Quarters were very intruiging, there were a lot of strip shows, bars, pubs, cafes. All my classmates were really nice to me, and because i was the smallest girl in class, my teachers were nice to me too, especially during gym time, because i couldn't throw the ball in the basketball hoop. the coach practically had to lift me up for me to dunk the ball in.
When i saw the images on cnn about new orleans, i can't help feeling sad. The majority of people there may be black and may be poor, but they're people all the same, and deserve help. its disgusting to know that even in the superdome, rapes can happen, particularly to small children. Bush as usual, has made a mess out of this situation, and i'm glad his ratings are super low. And i don't think New orleans can ever be rebuilt to its former glory.

3. Unrequited passion

Love comes and goes for every person. For me, i think i'm over it. Frankly, i really am not interested in anyone at all at this moment. I guess i don't have the time to look, and i'm quite fed up of playing a cat and mouse game with guys.And i actually give up on love at the moment.If they liked me, all they have to do is say so in front of my face. it'll save the both of us time. i have been reading soppy poems and hearing stories about luurrrve....so much so that i feel nauseated. As much as i like being a kepochi and as much as i care about the people around me, it just frustrates me everytime i see people getting heartbroken. sometimes i wish love was an easy thing, and i would ALWAYS like to see people getting whom they want. But its not so simple, isnt' it? And if they think their hearts are broken, maybe they should also give a thought to their friends who are supporting them too. I am so fed up of people not getting what they want to the point that if someone asks me what to do, i'll just tell them to try and get to know the person better. then maybe you can see if you REALLY want him/her. A crush is just a crush, nothing else. You're just putting the person on a pedestal without ever knowing him/her. So, to all of you out there reading this, if you know the person and really like the person, GO FOR IT? if he/she doesn't like you back, at least you know before its too late and start mooning like a sick cow.

Oh, and the most amusing thing last night was when my mom was watching Barbwire (Pammie's movie). I don't know what she was concentrating on, because there is no storyline for that movie.

i'm on a break

i really miss writing on my blog. so many useless info that needs to get out of my mind can just splatter here. i'm on a one week break now, just a so called break because its actually meant for all of us to study for the BIG ONE! this is my first week that i've felt relaxed after the rush of msk. and yes, i do agree it wasn't hard. the only difference with gi was that we weren't given time off to study...and i really was super stressed out days before the exam. On that friday itself, i just gave up studying the last bits of notes left. besides, they were playing van helsing on hbo, and who am i to deny his presence??
I thought i did quite well for it...until kar ying came to my house the next day. then i found out i made quite a few dumb mistakes for my mcq. its really frustrating to make those sort of mistakes cos they are so general. Anyway, classmates are busy studying now, and i only think i'll have my mud pie in dec.
i went to victoria's station for steak last sat...best i've tasted so far. even beats the one in TTDI. My fave part of the cow is the rib-eye. I'm glad i'm not a vegetarian. as much as i respect them, my love of meat outweighs all the vegies in the world.

I saw the movie 7 swords on sun. its a pretty good movie, nice cinematography and donnie yen looks hot! i don't really know the female actresses, but the actress who played the korean lady was so pretty. i wonder who she is. i went to pasar malam on tue with a friend, and she was telling me it was so disgusting to see porno movies being sold in the open. i've never really bothered with it, but when i come to think of it, its kinda true. i don't mean to stare at them, just that the vendors somehow push those cd's in your face. Being a girl, its kinda icky seeing another girl plastered naked on the cover. I managed to buy a lot of cd's, and i've 2 zombie movies to watch this weekend, dawn of the dead and land of the dead. The movies that are playing in cinemas now are so boring. i'm just gonna save and watch narnia instead.

My cousin is also getting married this weekend, and i think by early next year i'm gonna be an aunt! It'll so exciting, being an aunt at an early age!! Can't wait to play with the baby. And oh yeah, i heard on the radio station a few wks ago about this joke: Men are sweet, nice, and they go straight to your hips!!

Do not buy Coldplay's latest album, X&Y, or any other CDs by EMI because they contain copy-control technology that will basically prevent you from playing the CDs properly on any systems other than your home stereo. If you play it on your car stereo, or import it into your portable mp3 players, the music will skip or you will hear static every few seconds.
Copy-control sucks!
There are many ways to listen to your favourite bands..*hint hint*.
Until the music companies stop treating legal music buyers like 4 year olds, then they're not getting a single cent of my money.

happy 40th birthday, i think

ahh, i truly regard the man above as my saviour. last sunday, the Star was doing a commentary about our national day, and there was a pic of the Tunku coming out of his house before leaving for Stadium Negara. He looked very regal in his malay outfit, and for a fleeting moment, i felt very indebted and honored to this man. Without him, i wouldn't be sitting here and living life to the fullest. For all you know, you might never even have met me, and i wouldn't know civilization would exist.

I would still be half naked, wearing just a sarong, and tending to the paddy fields in Sarawak. Or, Sarawak would be a part of indonesia and i would really not be studying right now. Maybe my future husband is still roaming the jungles looking for heads to chop off and presenting it to me as a wedding gift. And i'd probably be eating tapioca everyday.

I have never really bothered about National Day since young. to me its just another day off watching boring parades on tv. But as i grow a bit older, i sort of realised that, yeah, it is important to remember it, not so much that i'm not an indon now, but because our forefathers have struggled hard to make us a free people. From containing the japs, to crushing communism, to making sure we all are free people, the politicians of that time did a great job. In fact, sometimes i wished they were still alive. Maybe then we wouldn't have racial divides, discontentment with politics and the lot.





For me being an Iban, this guy above, tun jugah will always be my Father. He made headhunting stop, and made the brits recognise that the ibans were a race to be reckoned with. for the bidayuhs, i'm not sure because as a race, we're very docile ppl. But i'm sure they are some influential leaders around.

Tonight, the PM has urged all malaysians to stand up at 12 midnite to sing Negaraku as a respect for our country. i think i might just do that, if i'm not asleep yet.

my friend

as of yesterday and last night, i had pimples beginning to sprout all over my face, my life was a mess because of msk and its heavy schedule and i was scared of today's mock osce. then who should come a calling but one of my very oldest and bestest friends (formerly bestest best friend). if she reads this, she'll know who i'm talking about.

i haven't talked to her on the phone for 2 yrs (according to her) and haven't seen her for longer than that. but she was back in kch for some family business, and i was really glad she contacted me last night. for once, the shrink herself needs her own shrink. we've known each other since primary school, and when she migrated somewhere else we kept in touch using the old fashioned way, letters. its really fun writing one and anxiously waiting for the other person to reply you back. in those days, all of us were crazy about foreign penpals. the longest lasting i had was a girl from japan called chieko kobayashi and another one from france, beatrice piliez. sadly, its because i was too lazy that we broke off contacts with each other.

my bestest friend was, and still is my lifesaver. when you are bursting of things to tell, and you just need someone to tell it to, that's when she comes into my life. its a vice-versa thingy actually. the fun things was when during my teen years i could moan and bitch to her about my crushes and the people who aggravate me,and she would do the same. Now, i am seldom in contact with her, because e-mails can just be so impersonal at times, and my bloody uni does not have msn.

its great to know that both of us are still kinda alike in some ways....we both have nonexistent social lives,for example. But what i really cherish about her is that she is SO NICE...nicer than me, in fact (if you can belive that) and that i can always count on her to make my day sunshiney. i miss her a lot, as well as i miss my other friends too. And i crapped to her for an hour about what was going in my life so far and the things that just screw it up. AND, i finally got to know what she was actually doing for her masters, what's up with her yada yada. I still do miss her, she's going back next tue, and i don't know when i can actually talk to her in person again.

Its great to know that there will always be someone out there for you. And the fact that last night was RnB night on the radio helps too!

P.S. for those who are feeling fidgety like moi, tune in to radio 4 (100.1 fm) tonight. they've got jazz tonight from 9-12 pm. its a great winding down session. i sure need one after today

Ophiuchus vs. Naked Jungle

NO, i'm not about to write some porn here. These are 2 opposing topics which i'm going to talk about today. i was reading the Mail yesterday, when i found out that there is actually a 13th sign-Ophiuchus.Those born from Nov 30 -Dec 17 are under this star.



This is how Ophiuchus looks like

Ophi was actually Aclepsius, the God of Medicine. Some say it was based on a real man, Imhotep, who was thought to have brought the art of healing to mankind. they didn't put it in with all the other astrological sun signs because it didn't follow the tropical calendar of the other 12. attributes of an Ophi are:

interpreter of dreams, premonitions
attracts good luck
serpent holder
lofty ideals
a seeker of peace and harmony
doctor of medicine or science
to add, increase, join or gather together
poetical, inventive nature, expanding
seeks higher education
overseer, supervisor of work
fame - either grand or completely misunderstood
longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man
architect, builder, reaches for the stars
tax assessor or levys taxes
astrological talents, intuitive
large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young
the number twelve holds great significance
foresight to benefit from hard times
has secret enemies in family or close associations
many jealous of this subject
notable father, apple of father's eye when young
high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death however
feelings of granular, wise,
likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors
receives the favor of those in charge


I don't know whether this is all bullshit or not, but if you are born under this sign, check it out and see if it does fit your persona. Whatever it is...its kind of interesting that i fall under two signs, sagi and ophi. Makes me the grouch i am, especially when i am in my sleepy mode!


Now, for the next title...




i had no idea this movie even existed until i chanced upon it on cinemax. the hero is charlton heston, and he is a plantation owner in South america. he has a heroic task to do, which is ....(trumpets blowing)....to fight against the gazillions of red ants which are destroying everything in their path in the jungle and are coming his way! sounds stupid? it does. but the romance between him and his mail order bride (played by eleanor parker) and also his acting makes up for it. if they had a movie about godzilla in the 1960s, why can't they have a movie about rampaging ants? They're real, and more believable to boot. during the movie, i noticed also about the bra his wife was wearing. it looked so uncomfortable, because it looks like madonnna's cone bra, except not so coney. its a typical macho-man damsel in distress sort of movie, but i enjoyed it because the acting was good and the chemistry between the two actors were believable. i believe most of the romance books that were published were based on movies like this. and with a title like Naked Jungle...how much hotter can it get? The things that amuse my soul!

Another Sinful Weekend

My dad came again last weekend, and since the whole family is here, my mom thought of going to bangsar for dinner on friday night. i have mixed feelings about bangsar now, cos the last time that i went, it was full of all the leng chai euros...the hot and young looking ones. Now they're all gone. its a nice place to hang out with your friends, but not your parents!! we had quite a hard time choosing an eatery cos my mom just wanted some good steak. so, in the end we ended up at telawi street bistro. since i was an idiot and had taken a heavy lunch, i had to settle for the Pocket Lebanese Lamb. My mom had fish and chips and my bro and dad had some steak. the irish beer they served there was good...i don't mind drinking beer like that if its icy cold...hmmm...christmas....Anyway, the prices there were outrageous. my dad's steak cost him around 60 bucks.The good thing about that bistro was the atmosphere though. very relaxed and cosy. The bad? all the euros were balding, middle aged man with paunches. *sniff* but i did check out two waiters that were kinda cute though. they looked like they were international students from india. cute!The next time i end up in bangsar, i'm gonna try out la bodega... since i didn't go there with joyce shia and gang.

The following day, i had another glutten fest...this time it was the somerset grill in TTDI. There was some advertisement about it in the Star that day, and my parents wanted to try the place out. we arrived there about 6.30pm and the place was already full! so, poor us had to go to 1U to do a bit of shopping first. Note: Zara has some really good bargains. its a shame i didn't have any cash with me. When we came back to the restaurant, it took an hour for the food to arrive, but i didn't mind. i had rib-eye, while my dad and bro had t-bone. it was worth all the trouble driving there and finding the place cos it really has good steak, and you can really savour the taste when you chew on it. i was really happy with my rib-eye. in fact, i don't mind coming there again. i've forgotten how steaks from The Ship tastes like, but the somerset grill gets an 8 on my rating scale. for dessert, we had some sort of chocolate cake mixed with caramel and grated coconut...wonderfully tantalizing...i do suggest to anyone who reads this to try out the restaurant. its at jln. tun mohd fuad, next to the kiosk shop.

as for my studies...its quite heavylor..what can i say.evry week have to go to mms and look at all the bones and ligs. all my s'wakian classmates are telling me they're punishing themselves by not going back home for raya hols. i had a funny lecture yesterday by Rs. the OSP is always going off due to some heating problems. he said this" i wonder why the projecter is always going off. i know its hot, but i don't think my slides are that hot to make it burn!' then he laughed to himself. its nice to know that he can laugh at his own jokes, and i do find that very amusing indeed! And for all those kl-ites who fled to penang and langkawi for the weekend to beat the haze, its sorry to note that the haze decided to follow them all the way there! i'll be having csu sessions later, most prob with HA. its lucky that i have mich and pakcik with me, it makes the session more fun.

i can't breathe

Its f****ing hot and smelly and foggy today. its worse than yesterday. when i woke up this morning, i coudn't see a thing at all. the worst haze i remembered was when i was in form 3, the API index in kch reached 1000. at that point, it was basically completely foggy and if you were to go outside the house, you couldn't see the person standing next to you. i did have a fun time wearing my gas mask,and its pretty funny to see everyone doing the same.

i thought our next door neighbours would've learned a lesson from that but nooooooooooooooooooo they still had to cut down and burn more forest. sometimes its really frustrating to think that these people are so ignorant and selfish about the rest of humanity. but if rich countries don't help to eradicate poverty in the world, nothing can be done about this situation. i don't even want to go into the topic of corrupt politicians.

since the start of sem 5 began, everyone has been into their super study mode. i barely see any sort of activity going on. Lots of ppl are stressed out and moody,but then again so am i. its amazing that i hardly do anything impressive now. i don't even have to mood to watch tv.There's just so much to learn for musculoskeletal, that the only thing you can do is breathe and study. And to compound the fact that we have to start revising for EOS and go to mms to look at all the bones and do csu practice, its phoar! Like you're being caught in the eye of a tornado. i am going to keep this mantra in my head....'will go back for christmas. will go back for christmas. will go back for christmas'.

of sexuality

I was watching Little Britain on Astro last night. its an hour long comedy about the various types of people who live in britian. its really funny, and there are only 2 comedians who portray an amazing number of people. there's one sketch where they made fun of the british prime minister having a gay assistant by the name of Sebastian.wow...news alert! i just met up with a pharmacy student who handed me 50 bucks worth of reciepts for squash. it seems all the batches are training very hard except ours. i'm scared.

back to the story... in last nights sketch, the P.M. won another election and they were celebrating at 10 Downing street, and when they were playing this george michael song, sebastian did a slow dance with the pm, and it was really icky. its like 2 lovers, cos sebastian was groping and fondling the pm, and was looking into his eyes. he did kiss the pm though. when i watched it last night, i felt so....i don't know, dirty? I'm okay with gays and les, but the sight of 2 men kissing is kinda disgusting to me. maybe i haven't had enough exposure to this yet. i mean, the concepth of gays and lesbo's together is okay, but when you watch them do an intimate act on tv, you really do feel sick.

yesterday i also read about kenny sia ( s'wakian blogger extrodinaire) and his rantings about long road names in the Star. its funny, because i never bothered about it. but when i looked at the pics he put in the paper yesterday, i was bloody embarassed. apparently all these years i've been in kl, they've changed a lot of names. and its named after all the local heroes. i remember 1 name which had 15 words max! for eg. Jalan Dato' Patinggi Tun Abang Haji Openg. And that's just the standard one.

and lastly, here are my top 10 list of hot rnb male singers.HOT, because they look FINE and got the vocals to match it.

1. Eric benet: ex husband of Halle Berry and absolutely gorgeous. my fave song of his is the duet he did with Faith Evans. he has one of the smoothest and silkiest voices around

2. John Legend: He just released his solo album this yr, and i'm planning to buy it. When he smiles, he just melts me. His songs are really good,and accompanies it with the piano.

3. Usher: I still liked his first album the best. A very charming fellow with the best bod. My fave song- U make me Wanna

4. Joe: He's not really well known, but his crooning is the best. its better than eric benet's. my fave song : Good girls

5. Marques Houston : up coming young star. first noticed him in 'you got served' . excellent dancer like his brother Omarion, and quite a good singer. looks like someone i know.

6. Nelly: this is funny, but i really like his gold teeth. somehow, they make his smile look more cute. He churns out the songs that i like.

7. 50 Cent: i don't really bother if his gangsta-pimpin thing is fake, but his bod is the most toned i've ever seen on mtv. love all his songs, they've got the club beats in it.

8.LL cool J.: he's a bit TOO muscular for me, but in his music videos he always winks, and that's sexy! He's got a nice pair of lips too.

9. Snoop Dogg: nope, i don't think he's handsome, but i do agree that he is very creative when it comes to producing music, and the recent singles he puts out are cool.

10. i actually forgot who was on this number, so if you do have someone in mind, pls tell me