happy 40th birthday, i think

ahh, i truly regard the man above as my saviour. last sunday, the Star was doing a commentary about our national day, and there was a pic of the Tunku coming out of his house before leaving for Stadium Negara. He looked very regal in his malay outfit, and for a fleeting moment, i felt very indebted and honored to this man. Without him, i wouldn't be sitting here and living life to the fullest. For all you know, you might never even have met me, and i wouldn't know civilization would exist.

I would still be half naked, wearing just a sarong, and tending to the paddy fields in Sarawak. Or, Sarawak would be a part of indonesia and i would really not be studying right now. Maybe my future husband is still roaming the jungles looking for heads to chop off and presenting it to me as a wedding gift. And i'd probably be eating tapioca everyday.

I have never really bothered about National Day since young. to me its just another day off watching boring parades on tv. But as i grow a bit older, i sort of realised that, yeah, it is important to remember it, not so much that i'm not an indon now, but because our forefathers have struggled hard to make us a free people. From containing the japs, to crushing communism, to making sure we all are free people, the politicians of that time did a great job. In fact, sometimes i wished they were still alive. Maybe then we wouldn't have racial divides, discontentment with politics and the lot.





For me being an Iban, this guy above, tun jugah will always be my Father. He made headhunting stop, and made the brits recognise that the ibans were a race to be reckoned with. for the bidayuhs, i'm not sure because as a race, we're very docile ppl. But i'm sure they are some influential leaders around.

Tonight, the PM has urged all malaysians to stand up at 12 midnite to sing Negaraku as a respect for our country. i think i might just do that, if i'm not asleep yet.

my friend

as of yesterday and last night, i had pimples beginning to sprout all over my face, my life was a mess because of msk and its heavy schedule and i was scared of today's mock osce. then who should come a calling but one of my very oldest and bestest friends (formerly bestest best friend). if she reads this, she'll know who i'm talking about.

i haven't talked to her on the phone for 2 yrs (according to her) and haven't seen her for longer than that. but she was back in kch for some family business, and i was really glad she contacted me last night. for once, the shrink herself needs her own shrink. we've known each other since primary school, and when she migrated somewhere else we kept in touch using the old fashioned way, letters. its really fun writing one and anxiously waiting for the other person to reply you back. in those days, all of us were crazy about foreign penpals. the longest lasting i had was a girl from japan called chieko kobayashi and another one from france, beatrice piliez. sadly, its because i was too lazy that we broke off contacts with each other.

my bestest friend was, and still is my lifesaver. when you are bursting of things to tell, and you just need someone to tell it to, that's when she comes into my life. its a vice-versa thingy actually. the fun things was when during my teen years i could moan and bitch to her about my crushes and the people who aggravate me,and she would do the same. Now, i am seldom in contact with her, because e-mails can just be so impersonal at times, and my bloody uni does not have msn.

its great to know that both of us are still kinda alike in some ways....we both have nonexistent social lives,for example. But what i really cherish about her is that she is SO NICE...nicer than me, in fact (if you can belive that) and that i can always count on her to make my day sunshiney. i miss her a lot, as well as i miss my other friends too. And i crapped to her for an hour about what was going in my life so far and the things that just screw it up. AND, i finally got to know what she was actually doing for her masters, what's up with her yada yada. I still do miss her, she's going back next tue, and i don't know when i can actually talk to her in person again.

Its great to know that there will always be someone out there for you. And the fact that last night was RnB night on the radio helps too!

P.S. for those who are feeling fidgety like moi, tune in to radio 4 (100.1 fm) tonight. they've got jazz tonight from 9-12 pm. its a great winding down session. i sure need one after today

Ophiuchus vs. Naked Jungle

NO, i'm not about to write some porn here. These are 2 opposing topics which i'm going to talk about today. i was reading the Mail yesterday, when i found out that there is actually a 13th sign-Ophiuchus.Those born from Nov 30 -Dec 17 are under this star.



This is how Ophiuchus looks like

Ophi was actually Aclepsius, the God of Medicine. Some say it was based on a real man, Imhotep, who was thought to have brought the art of healing to mankind. they didn't put it in with all the other astrological sun signs because it didn't follow the tropical calendar of the other 12. attributes of an Ophi are:

interpreter of dreams, premonitions
attracts good luck
serpent holder
lofty ideals
a seeker of peace and harmony
doctor of medicine or science
to add, increase, join or gather together
poetical, inventive nature, expanding
seeks higher education
overseer, supervisor of work
fame - either grand or completely misunderstood
longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man
architect, builder, reaches for the stars
tax assessor or levys taxes
astrological talents, intuitive
large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young
the number twelve holds great significance
foresight to benefit from hard times
has secret enemies in family or close associations
many jealous of this subject
notable father, apple of father's eye when young
high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death however
feelings of granular, wise,
likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors
receives the favor of those in charge


I don't know whether this is all bullshit or not, but if you are born under this sign, check it out and see if it does fit your persona. Whatever it is...its kind of interesting that i fall under two signs, sagi and ophi. Makes me the grouch i am, especially when i am in my sleepy mode!


Now, for the next title...




i had no idea this movie even existed until i chanced upon it on cinemax. the hero is charlton heston, and he is a plantation owner in South america. he has a heroic task to do, which is ....(trumpets blowing)....to fight against the gazillions of red ants which are destroying everything in their path in the jungle and are coming his way! sounds stupid? it does. but the romance between him and his mail order bride (played by eleanor parker) and also his acting makes up for it. if they had a movie about godzilla in the 1960s, why can't they have a movie about rampaging ants? They're real, and more believable to boot. during the movie, i noticed also about the bra his wife was wearing. it looked so uncomfortable, because it looks like madonnna's cone bra, except not so coney. its a typical macho-man damsel in distress sort of movie, but i enjoyed it because the acting was good and the chemistry between the two actors were believable. i believe most of the romance books that were published were based on movies like this. and with a title like Naked Jungle...how much hotter can it get? The things that amuse my soul!

Another Sinful Weekend

My dad came again last weekend, and since the whole family is here, my mom thought of going to bangsar for dinner on friday night. i have mixed feelings about bangsar now, cos the last time that i went, it was full of all the leng chai euros...the hot and young looking ones. Now they're all gone. its a nice place to hang out with your friends, but not your parents!! we had quite a hard time choosing an eatery cos my mom just wanted some good steak. so, in the end we ended up at telawi street bistro. since i was an idiot and had taken a heavy lunch, i had to settle for the Pocket Lebanese Lamb. My mom had fish and chips and my bro and dad had some steak. the irish beer they served there was good...i don't mind drinking beer like that if its icy cold...hmmm...christmas....Anyway, the prices there were outrageous. my dad's steak cost him around 60 bucks.The good thing about that bistro was the atmosphere though. very relaxed and cosy. The bad? all the euros were balding, middle aged man with paunches. *sniff* but i did check out two waiters that were kinda cute though. they looked like they were international students from india. cute!The next time i end up in bangsar, i'm gonna try out la bodega... since i didn't go there with joyce shia and gang.

The following day, i had another glutten fest...this time it was the somerset grill in TTDI. There was some advertisement about it in the Star that day, and my parents wanted to try the place out. we arrived there about 6.30pm and the place was already full! so, poor us had to go to 1U to do a bit of shopping first. Note: Zara has some really good bargains. its a shame i didn't have any cash with me. When we came back to the restaurant, it took an hour for the food to arrive, but i didn't mind. i had rib-eye, while my dad and bro had t-bone. it was worth all the trouble driving there and finding the place cos it really has good steak, and you can really savour the taste when you chew on it. i was really happy with my rib-eye. in fact, i don't mind coming there again. i've forgotten how steaks from The Ship tastes like, but the somerset grill gets an 8 on my rating scale. for dessert, we had some sort of chocolate cake mixed with caramel and grated coconut...wonderfully tantalizing...i do suggest to anyone who reads this to try out the restaurant. its at jln. tun mohd fuad, next to the kiosk shop.

as for my studies...its quite heavylor..what can i say.evry week have to go to mms and look at all the bones and ligs. all my s'wakian classmates are telling me they're punishing themselves by not going back home for raya hols. i had a funny lecture yesterday by Rs. the OSP is always going off due to some heating problems. he said this" i wonder why the projecter is always going off. i know its hot, but i don't think my slides are that hot to make it burn!' then he laughed to himself. its nice to know that he can laugh at his own jokes, and i do find that very amusing indeed! And for all those kl-ites who fled to penang and langkawi for the weekend to beat the haze, its sorry to note that the haze decided to follow them all the way there! i'll be having csu sessions later, most prob with HA. its lucky that i have mich and pakcik with me, it makes the session more fun.

i can't breathe

Its f****ing hot and smelly and foggy today. its worse than yesterday. when i woke up this morning, i coudn't see a thing at all. the worst haze i remembered was when i was in form 3, the API index in kch reached 1000. at that point, it was basically completely foggy and if you were to go outside the house, you couldn't see the person standing next to you. i did have a fun time wearing my gas mask,and its pretty funny to see everyone doing the same.

i thought our next door neighbours would've learned a lesson from that but nooooooooooooooooooo they still had to cut down and burn more forest. sometimes its really frustrating to think that these people are so ignorant and selfish about the rest of humanity. but if rich countries don't help to eradicate poverty in the world, nothing can be done about this situation. i don't even want to go into the topic of corrupt politicians.

since the start of sem 5 began, everyone has been into their super study mode. i barely see any sort of activity going on. Lots of ppl are stressed out and moody,but then again so am i. its amazing that i hardly do anything impressive now. i don't even have to mood to watch tv.There's just so much to learn for musculoskeletal, that the only thing you can do is breathe and study. And to compound the fact that we have to start revising for EOS and go to mms to look at all the bones and do csu practice, its phoar! Like you're being caught in the eye of a tornado. i am going to keep this mantra in my head....'will go back for christmas. will go back for christmas. will go back for christmas'.

of sexuality

I was watching Little Britain on Astro last night. its an hour long comedy about the various types of people who live in britian. its really funny, and there are only 2 comedians who portray an amazing number of people. there's one sketch where they made fun of the british prime minister having a gay assistant by the name of Sebastian.wow...news alert! i just met up with a pharmacy student who handed me 50 bucks worth of reciepts for squash. it seems all the batches are training very hard except ours. i'm scared.

back to the story... in last nights sketch, the P.M. won another election and they were celebrating at 10 Downing street, and when they were playing this george michael song, sebastian did a slow dance with the pm, and it was really icky. its like 2 lovers, cos sebastian was groping and fondling the pm, and was looking into his eyes. he did kiss the pm though. when i watched it last night, i felt so....i don't know, dirty? I'm okay with gays and les, but the sight of 2 men kissing is kinda disgusting to me. maybe i haven't had enough exposure to this yet. i mean, the concepth of gays and lesbo's together is okay, but when you watch them do an intimate act on tv, you really do feel sick.

yesterday i also read about kenny sia ( s'wakian blogger extrodinaire) and his rantings about long road names in the Star. its funny, because i never bothered about it. but when i looked at the pics he put in the paper yesterday, i was bloody embarassed. apparently all these years i've been in kl, they've changed a lot of names. and its named after all the local heroes. i remember 1 name which had 15 words max! for eg. Jalan Dato' Patinggi Tun Abang Haji Openg. And that's just the standard one.

and lastly, here are my top 10 list of hot rnb male singers.HOT, because they look FINE and got the vocals to match it.

1. Eric benet: ex husband of Halle Berry and absolutely gorgeous. my fave song of his is the duet he did with Faith Evans. he has one of the smoothest and silkiest voices around

2. John Legend: He just released his solo album this yr, and i'm planning to buy it. When he smiles, he just melts me. His songs are really good,and accompanies it with the piano.

3. Usher: I still liked his first album the best. A very charming fellow with the best bod. My fave song- U make me Wanna

4. Joe: He's not really well known, but his crooning is the best. its better than eric benet's. my fave song : Good girls

5. Marques Houston : up coming young star. first noticed him in 'you got served' . excellent dancer like his brother Omarion, and quite a good singer. looks like someone i know.

6. Nelly: this is funny, but i really like his gold teeth. somehow, they make his smile look more cute. He churns out the songs that i like.

7. 50 Cent: i don't really bother if his gangsta-pimpin thing is fake, but his bod is the most toned i've ever seen on mtv. love all his songs, they've got the club beats in it.

8.LL cool J.: he's a bit TOO muscular for me, but in his music videos he always winks, and that's sexy! He's got a nice pair of lips too.

9. Snoop Dogg: nope, i don't think he's handsome, but i do agree that he is very creative when it comes to producing music, and the recent singles he puts out are cool.

10. i actually forgot who was on this number, so if you do have someone in mind, pls tell me

sad

yesterday and today have been sort of bad for me, in terms of emothions. i'm only finding out more about myself. when i'm in a good mood, nothing can burst my bubble. but when i'm really feeling sad/depressed, it feels so bad that my whole world is black.

after reading a friends blog today, i chanced upon my distant relative bernard's blog, and in it were the pic's he took from canada on his recent trip there. you see,since my aunt's family migrated there 5 or 6 years ago, i haven't seen them since, especially my two cousins julian and daryl. i just saw their pics for the first time, and i did feel very sentimental. its just that i haven't seen them since they were in primary school and now they're all grown up and being teens. daryl has become more good-looking; his looks are more to chinese, but a good-looking chinese. juju looks the same...and he's shorter than daryl. my uncle donald looks the same too, but my aunty ann has become plump, and has the exact face like my mom's. i really do miss them, they'll only be coming back to malaysia in 2008. i do hope i can go there and see them instead. i don't keep in touch with them very much, but when you look at the face of person you haven't seen in a long while, your heart does feel broken. sorry if i'm being sentimental...its just that i was quite close to this aunt and uncle...they really treated me like i was their own daughter and did spoil me when i was young. *sigh* but its good to see them after a long time.

today also my friend's father passed away from cancer. she is now in kuching, and i will call her sometime. its sad when a loved one passes away from such a horrible disease... and i can only imagine how she feels now. its hard for her to come back often because her dad was in kch and she's in nz for so long.

i'm also think i'm a rotten person because i haven't kept in touch with most of my friends. and like a bad experience i recently had when i went back to kch, 1 girl probably thought i was too stuck up to keep in touch with her...and so she sort of ignored me when a bunch of us all went out. it hurts a lot because i've known her since primary 6 and she was pretty close to me during my sec school years. my theory is that she was probably scared that i would look down on her, so she decided to diss me off first.

Yesterday my mood swing came on again, and it was so bad i practically felt like a walking lemon. and the haze, oh my god, it came back again. it was so bad that visibility was narrowed to maybe a km only. and this morning the winds were so strong i could literally imagine myself being swept away by it, like the tornadoes and hurricanes we usually see on tv. by the way, i would like to experience them one of these days.

My pbl fasci, dr. R, has a very morbid sense of humor. his is the british type, dry and mocking. but so wickedly funny. he sees malaysia in a Little Emily sort of way. All my pbl mates are nice people,and i do think i will really enjoy my pbl sessions with them. the icing on the cake yesterday had to be dr. RS, who said in class "by the time women are 40 years and above, they will begin to have many problems" then he started to laugh at his own jokes, and we were laughing AT him, Not with him. but its kinda funny watching a guy laughing at his own jokes, and he did it more than twice in class. Musculoskeletal will be kinda tough because there's so much anatomy coming in, and me not being sure how deep i need to study. i miss Dhruba!!!

i hate today

shit...my bladder has been full for the past 1 hr and i still have to think of what to write. my glorious holiday (and pigging sessions) are now OVER and i have to start sem 5.

i woke up bloody late today, like an hr before class...didn't have time to blowdry my hair, and hence it looks like simba. i just really wished my hair wouldn't curl out so much. its irritating. today the dean gave a long lecture yada yada... making me sleep in the middle of it. and when i saw the timetable for this semester...shit...i'm not sure if i can finish revising everything. this semester i'll be cooped up in my room and just looking at my notes the whole time. after the nightmare of semester 3, i definitely do not want to repeat it. i'd rather be a lowlife and a bore for this whole semester rather than repeating the whole course again.

this morning in class i saw a few of my class mates revising away. i wish i could be like them...so disciplined and determined. i want to go back to kch for my christmas and see everyone. by hook or by crook, i am going to pass my sem 5. its been a long time since i've had christmas at my own home...getting to see all my cousins and generally having a good time. i want to celebrate my new year's with all my friends and get pissed off and drunk with them. its only 4 more months after all....