Merry xmas to everyone and i hope you all are in good holiday spirits!! I just completed my 10 day tagging on sunday. my first oncall will be on the 26th, and boy am i scared and excited. The tagging period was very tough for me. i had about 3-4 hours sleep at night. i came to work at 5.30 am and leave at 11pm. its so tiring, and there were lots of new things that i had to adjust to. I also have to be super careful in what i do. Because the culture here is that when something goes wrong, the houseman will be the first to get the blame, and no one will cover for you. i am still slow in taking blood and doing ward rounds. but i am improving. i had a period of depression last saturday after i came back from work. i was so tired, and i x even feel happy having dinner with my family. i felt like crying and quitting my job. Luckily my other friends who started the same time as me felt the same way too. i get to go back around 5.30 everyday, which is a good thing. i don't know how i am going to survive my oncall, i just know that i need lots of coffee with me to stay awake.
I do love my job. every morning i almost always have this fresh enthusiasm to start work. Alas throughout the end of the day my mood gets spoiled one way or another. its also kind of irritating sometimes when everyone asks you a question and you are expected to know the answer, from the nurses to the patients. Paeds in kuching is okay, initially i thought it would be very bad, but so far i have adjusted to it. The cases here are less varied than what i see in seremban, but that's ok. the good thing about the wards here are that they have air-con, something which a lot of the adult wards x have. I also sleep pretty early nowadays. i tend to crash on my bed by 10pm. i have to wake up about 4.30am just to get ready to reach the hospital by 6 am. Now i know why my seniors discourage us to take up medicine. it looks and sounds glamorous, but there is SO much hard work to be done. its fine with me that you want to study medicine for whatever reason, but be prepared to be xtremely overworked for the next two years.
For xmas, most of my relatives will be coming back to celebrate it. my dad is in charge of everything, as i usually am too tired in the evenings to do anything. This year, however i x feel the joyous spirit as i was too depressed from working nonstop. Perhaps next year would be a better year for me. Have a nice and happy holiday, god bless!
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