happy 40th birthday, i think

ahh, i truly regard the man above as my saviour. last sunday, the Star was doing a commentary about our national day, and there was a pic of the Tunku coming out of his house before leaving for Stadium Negara. He looked very regal in his malay outfit, and for a fleeting moment, i felt very indebted and honored to this man. Without him, i wouldn't be sitting here and living life to the fullest. For all you know, you might never even have met me, and i wouldn't know civilization would exist.

I would still be half naked, wearing just a sarong, and tending to the paddy fields in Sarawak. Or, Sarawak would be a part of indonesia and i would really not be studying right now. Maybe my future husband is still roaming the jungles looking for heads to chop off and presenting it to me as a wedding gift. And i'd probably be eating tapioca everyday.

I have never really bothered about National Day since young. to me its just another day off watching boring parades on tv. But as i grow a bit older, i sort of realised that, yeah, it is important to remember it, not so much that i'm not an indon now, but because our forefathers have struggled hard to make us a free people. From containing the japs, to crushing communism, to making sure we all are free people, the politicians of that time did a great job. In fact, sometimes i wished they were still alive. Maybe then we wouldn't have racial divides, discontentment with politics and the lot.





For me being an Iban, this guy above, tun jugah will always be my Father. He made headhunting stop, and made the brits recognise that the ibans were a race to be reckoned with. for the bidayuhs, i'm not sure because as a race, we're very docile ppl. But i'm sure they are some influential leaders around.

Tonight, the PM has urged all malaysians to stand up at 12 midnite to sing Negaraku as a respect for our country. i think i might just do that, if i'm not asleep yet.

my friend

as of yesterday and last night, i had pimples beginning to sprout all over my face, my life was a mess because of msk and its heavy schedule and i was scared of today's mock osce. then who should come a calling but one of my very oldest and bestest friends (formerly bestest best friend). if she reads this, she'll know who i'm talking about.

i haven't talked to her on the phone for 2 yrs (according to her) and haven't seen her for longer than that. but she was back in kch for some family business, and i was really glad she contacted me last night. for once, the shrink herself needs her own shrink. we've known each other since primary school, and when she migrated somewhere else we kept in touch using the old fashioned way, letters. its really fun writing one and anxiously waiting for the other person to reply you back. in those days, all of us were crazy about foreign penpals. the longest lasting i had was a girl from japan called chieko kobayashi and another one from france, beatrice piliez. sadly, its because i was too lazy that we broke off contacts with each other.

my bestest friend was, and still is my lifesaver. when you are bursting of things to tell, and you just need someone to tell it to, that's when she comes into my life. its a vice-versa thingy actually. the fun things was when during my teen years i could moan and bitch to her about my crushes and the people who aggravate me,and she would do the same. Now, i am seldom in contact with her, because e-mails can just be so impersonal at times, and my bloody uni does not have msn.

its great to know that both of us are still kinda alike in some ways....we both have nonexistent social lives,for example. But what i really cherish about her is that she is SO NICE...nicer than me, in fact (if you can belive that) and that i can always count on her to make my day sunshiney. i miss her a lot, as well as i miss my other friends too. And i crapped to her for an hour about what was going in my life so far and the things that just screw it up. AND, i finally got to know what she was actually doing for her masters, what's up with her yada yada. I still do miss her, she's going back next tue, and i don't know when i can actually talk to her in person again.

Its great to know that there will always be someone out there for you. And the fact that last night was RnB night on the radio helps too!

P.S. for those who are feeling fidgety like moi, tune in to radio 4 (100.1 fm) tonight. they've got jazz tonight from 9-12 pm. its a great winding down session. i sure need one after today

Ophiuchus vs. Naked Jungle

NO, i'm not about to write some porn here. These are 2 opposing topics which i'm going to talk about today. i was reading the Mail yesterday, when i found out that there is actually a 13th sign-Ophiuchus.Those born from Nov 30 -Dec 17 are under this star.



This is how Ophiuchus looks like

Ophi was actually Aclepsius, the God of Medicine. Some say it was based on a real man, Imhotep, who was thought to have brought the art of healing to mankind. they didn't put it in with all the other astrological sun signs because it didn't follow the tropical calendar of the other 12. attributes of an Ophi are:

interpreter of dreams, premonitions
attracts good luck
serpent holder
lofty ideals
a seeker of peace and harmony
doctor of medicine or science
to add, increase, join or gather together
poetical, inventive nature, expanding
seeks higher education
overseer, supervisor of work
fame - either grand or completely misunderstood
longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man
architect, builder, reaches for the stars
tax assessor or levys taxes
astrological talents, intuitive
large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young
the number twelve holds great significance
foresight to benefit from hard times
has secret enemies in family or close associations
many jealous of this subject
notable father, apple of father's eye when young
high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death however
feelings of granular, wise,
likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors
receives the favor of those in charge


I don't know whether this is all bullshit or not, but if you are born under this sign, check it out and see if it does fit your persona. Whatever it is...its kind of interesting that i fall under two signs, sagi and ophi. Makes me the grouch i am, especially when i am in my sleepy mode!


Now, for the next title...




i had no idea this movie even existed until i chanced upon it on cinemax. the hero is charlton heston, and he is a plantation owner in South america. he has a heroic task to do, which is ....(trumpets blowing)....to fight against the gazillions of red ants which are destroying everything in their path in the jungle and are coming his way! sounds stupid? it does. but the romance between him and his mail order bride (played by eleanor parker) and also his acting makes up for it. if they had a movie about godzilla in the 1960s, why can't they have a movie about rampaging ants? They're real, and more believable to boot. during the movie, i noticed also about the bra his wife was wearing. it looked so uncomfortable, because it looks like madonnna's cone bra, except not so coney. its a typical macho-man damsel in distress sort of movie, but i enjoyed it because the acting was good and the chemistry between the two actors were believable. i believe most of the romance books that were published were based on movies like this. and with a title like Naked Jungle...how much hotter can it get? The things that amuse my soul!

Another Sinful Weekend

My dad came again last weekend, and since the whole family is here, my mom thought of going to bangsar for dinner on friday night. i have mixed feelings about bangsar now, cos the last time that i went, it was full of all the leng chai euros...the hot and young looking ones. Now they're all gone. its a nice place to hang out with your friends, but not your parents!! we had quite a hard time choosing an eatery cos my mom just wanted some good steak. so, in the end we ended up at telawi street bistro. since i was an idiot and had taken a heavy lunch, i had to settle for the Pocket Lebanese Lamb. My mom had fish and chips and my bro and dad had some steak. the irish beer they served there was good...i don't mind drinking beer like that if its icy cold...hmmm...christmas....Anyway, the prices there were outrageous. my dad's steak cost him around 60 bucks.The good thing about that bistro was the atmosphere though. very relaxed and cosy. The bad? all the euros were balding, middle aged man with paunches. *sniff* but i did check out two waiters that were kinda cute though. they looked like they were international students from india. cute!The next time i end up in bangsar, i'm gonna try out la bodega... since i didn't go there with joyce shia and gang.

The following day, i had another glutten fest...this time it was the somerset grill in TTDI. There was some advertisement about it in the Star that day, and my parents wanted to try the place out. we arrived there about 6.30pm and the place was already full! so, poor us had to go to 1U to do a bit of shopping first. Note: Zara has some really good bargains. its a shame i didn't have any cash with me. When we came back to the restaurant, it took an hour for the food to arrive, but i didn't mind. i had rib-eye, while my dad and bro had t-bone. it was worth all the trouble driving there and finding the place cos it really has good steak, and you can really savour the taste when you chew on it. i was really happy with my rib-eye. in fact, i don't mind coming there again. i've forgotten how steaks from The Ship tastes like, but the somerset grill gets an 8 on my rating scale. for dessert, we had some sort of chocolate cake mixed with caramel and grated coconut...wonderfully tantalizing...i do suggest to anyone who reads this to try out the restaurant. its at jln. tun mohd fuad, next to the kiosk shop.

as for my studies...its quite heavylor..what can i say.evry week have to go to mms and look at all the bones and ligs. all my s'wakian classmates are telling me they're punishing themselves by not going back home for raya hols. i had a funny lecture yesterday by Rs. the OSP is always going off due to some heating problems. he said this" i wonder why the projecter is always going off. i know its hot, but i don't think my slides are that hot to make it burn!' then he laughed to himself. its nice to know that he can laugh at his own jokes, and i do find that very amusing indeed! And for all those kl-ites who fled to penang and langkawi for the weekend to beat the haze, its sorry to note that the haze decided to follow them all the way there! i'll be having csu sessions later, most prob with HA. its lucky that i have mich and pakcik with me, it makes the session more fun.

i can't breathe

Its f****ing hot and smelly and foggy today. its worse than yesterday. when i woke up this morning, i coudn't see a thing at all. the worst haze i remembered was when i was in form 3, the API index in kch reached 1000. at that point, it was basically completely foggy and if you were to go outside the house, you couldn't see the person standing next to you. i did have a fun time wearing my gas mask,and its pretty funny to see everyone doing the same.

i thought our next door neighbours would've learned a lesson from that but nooooooooooooooooooo they still had to cut down and burn more forest. sometimes its really frustrating to think that these people are so ignorant and selfish about the rest of humanity. but if rich countries don't help to eradicate poverty in the world, nothing can be done about this situation. i don't even want to go into the topic of corrupt politicians.

since the start of sem 5 began, everyone has been into their super study mode. i barely see any sort of activity going on. Lots of ppl are stressed out and moody,but then again so am i. its amazing that i hardly do anything impressive now. i don't even have to mood to watch tv.There's just so much to learn for musculoskeletal, that the only thing you can do is breathe and study. And to compound the fact that we have to start revising for EOS and go to mms to look at all the bones and do csu practice, its phoar! Like you're being caught in the eye of a tornado. i am going to keep this mantra in my head....'will go back for christmas. will go back for christmas. will go back for christmas'.

of sexuality

I was watching Little Britain on Astro last night. its an hour long comedy about the various types of people who live in britian. its really funny, and there are only 2 comedians who portray an amazing number of people. there's one sketch where they made fun of the british prime minister having a gay assistant by the name of Sebastian.wow...news alert! i just met up with a pharmacy student who handed me 50 bucks worth of reciepts for squash. it seems all the batches are training very hard except ours. i'm scared.

back to the story... in last nights sketch, the P.M. won another election and they were celebrating at 10 Downing street, and when they were playing this george michael song, sebastian did a slow dance with the pm, and it was really icky. its like 2 lovers, cos sebastian was groping and fondling the pm, and was looking into his eyes. he did kiss the pm though. when i watched it last night, i felt so....i don't know, dirty? I'm okay with gays and les, but the sight of 2 men kissing is kinda disgusting to me. maybe i haven't had enough exposure to this yet. i mean, the concepth of gays and lesbo's together is okay, but when you watch them do an intimate act on tv, you really do feel sick.

yesterday i also read about kenny sia ( s'wakian blogger extrodinaire) and his rantings about long road names in the Star. its funny, because i never bothered about it. but when i looked at the pics he put in the paper yesterday, i was bloody embarassed. apparently all these years i've been in kl, they've changed a lot of names. and its named after all the local heroes. i remember 1 name which had 15 words max! for eg. Jalan Dato' Patinggi Tun Abang Haji Openg. And that's just the standard one.

and lastly, here are my top 10 list of hot rnb male singers.HOT, because they look FINE and got the vocals to match it.

1. Eric benet: ex husband of Halle Berry and absolutely gorgeous. my fave song of his is the duet he did with Faith Evans. he has one of the smoothest and silkiest voices around

2. John Legend: He just released his solo album this yr, and i'm planning to buy it. When he smiles, he just melts me. His songs are really good,and accompanies it with the piano.

3. Usher: I still liked his first album the best. A very charming fellow with the best bod. My fave song- U make me Wanna

4. Joe: He's not really well known, but his crooning is the best. its better than eric benet's. my fave song : Good girls

5. Marques Houston : up coming young star. first noticed him in 'you got served' . excellent dancer like his brother Omarion, and quite a good singer. looks like someone i know.

6. Nelly: this is funny, but i really like his gold teeth. somehow, they make his smile look more cute. He churns out the songs that i like.

7. 50 Cent: i don't really bother if his gangsta-pimpin thing is fake, but his bod is the most toned i've ever seen on mtv. love all his songs, they've got the club beats in it.

8.LL cool J.: he's a bit TOO muscular for me, but in his music videos he always winks, and that's sexy! He's got a nice pair of lips too.

9. Snoop Dogg: nope, i don't think he's handsome, but i do agree that he is very creative when it comes to producing music, and the recent singles he puts out are cool.

10. i actually forgot who was on this number, so if you do have someone in mind, pls tell me

sad

yesterday and today have been sort of bad for me, in terms of emothions. i'm only finding out more about myself. when i'm in a good mood, nothing can burst my bubble. but when i'm really feeling sad/depressed, it feels so bad that my whole world is black.

after reading a friends blog today, i chanced upon my distant relative bernard's blog, and in it were the pic's he took from canada on his recent trip there. you see,since my aunt's family migrated there 5 or 6 years ago, i haven't seen them since, especially my two cousins julian and daryl. i just saw their pics for the first time, and i did feel very sentimental. its just that i haven't seen them since they were in primary school and now they're all grown up and being teens. daryl has become more good-looking; his looks are more to chinese, but a good-looking chinese. juju looks the same...and he's shorter than daryl. my uncle donald looks the same too, but my aunty ann has become plump, and has the exact face like my mom's. i really do miss them, they'll only be coming back to malaysia in 2008. i do hope i can go there and see them instead. i don't keep in touch with them very much, but when you look at the face of person you haven't seen in a long while, your heart does feel broken. sorry if i'm being sentimental...its just that i was quite close to this aunt and uncle...they really treated me like i was their own daughter and did spoil me when i was young. *sigh* but its good to see them after a long time.

today also my friend's father passed away from cancer. she is now in kuching, and i will call her sometime. its sad when a loved one passes away from such a horrible disease... and i can only imagine how she feels now. its hard for her to come back often because her dad was in kch and she's in nz for so long.

i'm also think i'm a rotten person because i haven't kept in touch with most of my friends. and like a bad experience i recently had when i went back to kch, 1 girl probably thought i was too stuck up to keep in touch with her...and so she sort of ignored me when a bunch of us all went out. it hurts a lot because i've known her since primary 6 and she was pretty close to me during my sec school years. my theory is that she was probably scared that i would look down on her, so she decided to diss me off first.

Yesterday my mood swing came on again, and it was so bad i practically felt like a walking lemon. and the haze, oh my god, it came back again. it was so bad that visibility was narrowed to maybe a km only. and this morning the winds were so strong i could literally imagine myself being swept away by it, like the tornadoes and hurricanes we usually see on tv. by the way, i would like to experience them one of these days.

My pbl fasci, dr. R, has a very morbid sense of humor. his is the british type, dry and mocking. but so wickedly funny. he sees malaysia in a Little Emily sort of way. All my pbl mates are nice people,and i do think i will really enjoy my pbl sessions with them. the icing on the cake yesterday had to be dr. RS, who said in class "by the time women are 40 years and above, they will begin to have many problems" then he started to laugh at his own jokes, and we were laughing AT him, Not with him. but its kinda funny watching a guy laughing at his own jokes, and he did it more than twice in class. Musculoskeletal will be kinda tough because there's so much anatomy coming in, and me not being sure how deep i need to study. i miss Dhruba!!!

i hate today

shit...my bladder has been full for the past 1 hr and i still have to think of what to write. my glorious holiday (and pigging sessions) are now OVER and i have to start sem 5.

i woke up bloody late today, like an hr before class...didn't have time to blowdry my hair, and hence it looks like simba. i just really wished my hair wouldn't curl out so much. its irritating. today the dean gave a long lecture yada yada... making me sleep in the middle of it. and when i saw the timetable for this semester...shit...i'm not sure if i can finish revising everything. this semester i'll be cooped up in my room and just looking at my notes the whole time. after the nightmare of semester 3, i definitely do not want to repeat it. i'd rather be a lowlife and a bore for this whole semester rather than repeating the whole course again.

this morning in class i saw a few of my class mates revising away. i wish i could be like them...so disciplined and determined. i want to go back to kch for my christmas and see everyone. by hook or by crook, i am going to pass my sem 5. its been a long time since i've had christmas at my own home...getting to see all my cousins and generally having a good time. i want to celebrate my new year's with all my friends and get pissed off and drunk with them. its only 4 more months after all....

musings

i am feeling quite mellow this morning. my title today was to be about genting, but i'll satisfy my desires right now. the feeling of mellowness is so deep that i went to read haiku poems just now. i feel like there's a deep essence within me, that only poetry can understand. sometimes these feelings are so deep that you feel like sitting down in a rocking chair and watching the splendour of the world go by.

i've never been a great fan of poetry...it takes a lot of contemplation for me to truly appreciate their works. but today, for some reason, i am feeling it. haiku's are beautiful. it may consist of only 4 lines, but when you sit back and think about them, and picture those words in your mind, you can actually feel a deep calmness in you.

my trip to genting yesterday was like a 10th anniversary for me, cos that's the last time i went there. nothing's changed;its still the same. only now my phobia of heights has somewhat increased. on the way back yesterday using the cable cars, we stopped for 5 minutes over a ravine. when i looked down, i can imagine the car plunging, and me wondering what i'll be doing in that split second. i don't have a phobia of riding airplanes, i think they're great, but just the thought of me right underneath a ravine makes me sick. i also appreciated the malaysian rainforest yesterday. i don't like secondary rainforest; but when you see huge trees majestically towering over everything else and the fog and clouds drifting above them,it looks so beautiful.

there were only 2 rides which got my adrenaline pumping: the corkscrew and the flying coaster. i like it when i fall down and my stomach lurches up. its kinda funny.the ghost ride was the lamest; i wonder why they even bothered with it at all. genting is great, but i think they should think up of better rides and refurbish the place. just because they are the premeir theme park in malaysia doesn't mean they can take things for granted. the indoor theme park was much better as they had renovated the place. i do agree that its a great place for lovers and if only another person went yesterday, things would have been just perfect.

the weather was really good, and i wished it would be like that for the whole of malaysia. there were a lot of arab and indian tourists...probably the summer hols. the funniest thing yesterday was when i saw this aunty spinning round and round on her motorized boat for 10 minutes flat. and she didn't even look dizzy! she had this serene look on her face and i suspected she was enjoying herself. we all had a laugh at her,and i felt kinda bad in the end. they were tourists, after all, and i shouldnt' be doing that. still...i wonder how she felt for the entire day. she probably will be going back home with Genting's Boat Spinning Record! hahaha

i also finally saw batu caves for the second time yesterday...and i find out that i'm drawn to mountains, hills etc.i guess its because they appear so majestic and yet so lonely. ah.. its the art-loving side of me again. i really must go and get myself a poetry book.

i also realize i have until this weekend to relax, after that it'll be hell for me. i do want to pass my sem 5 and go back home for christmas. i miss the christmas masses at st. joe's church.

i told a friend yesterday i think i've found the perfect guy (according to my standards).He's kinda good-looking, god-fearing, nice guy, athletic, smart, kind hearted, always smiling and overall nice guy. the only thing is he's not available. i know... some friends have told me its not worth it, because two of us are going to be hurt in the end, or i might have to do a total lifestyle makeover. some told me i should just be friends with him..it doesn't mean i have to tackle him or anything. the truth is...i don't know. i appreciate all the advices that have been given to me, and i know my brain is still in control over my heart. but i do hope they would understand my postion if they were in my shoes. my gut tells me its not just a one-way thing. as to how much the mutual like is, i don't know. but i think its there. And it just depends on me.i once told god that i'm very happy that he gave me a chance to feel what love/ liking someone is like. but at the same time, love can bring you immense pain. sure...i might get over him some day...and i might find a better guy some day, but at the moment, its just him.

my amazing weekend

ah yes...what an amazing weekend i had! anything to do with food makes me extremely happy. i had the chance to go for a buffet dinner at the Atrium cafe in sunway hotel.its standard buffet stuff, except they really have nice seafood. i ate lots of mussels, and the funny thing is, they taste really nice with thousand island. i only took 1 round of formal eating. the other two rounds were my desserts. i tried practically every dessert served, and yes, i did feel like a pig. A HAPPY PIG. my favourite were the miniature cupcakes, the homemade icecream and the cheesecake. the flam was also nice.
on sat i went to klcc for some shopping. finally got my jeans shorts there, and another round of binge eating. i had gelare there, and the jamaican chocolate was heavenly! i love my desserts...sigh...
today i went to the ptptn building to get my surat perlepasan pinjaman, only to be told later that mara is freezing all their loans. wow... i really feel like a stupid ass. plus, i got lost going there while all the time i had the address of the building inside my handbag. i know i'm blur in all aspects of life, but i never expected to be THIS blur.

i also am enjoying the LOST series on astro as well as little britain. great comedy... i love the brits dry sense of humor. that show parodies everyone and everything in the uk. and its funny, because there are ppl like that in the uk. i watched oprah yesterday, and it was a really moving show, about teenage girls and how worthless they feel about themselves. One of them actually called herself an ugly beast and said that she's the last person anyone would want to look at. another one said that she feels like she doesn't deserve her family because they were too good for her.

i know how they feel like and i don't blame them.i have my rotten days too, days when i feel like i don't want anybody to see me. i have always been shy since i was a little kid, and i really dont like it when people look at me. i feel that there's something on my face that makes them want to laugh. its amazing that women of all ages can feel so insecure about themselves just because of a thing called the MEDIA. i know somethings can never be changed, and in a horrid way, i'm actually glad i'm not the only one who feels that something is wrong with me.and yes...i think i need to see a shrink

frazzled

my dear friends, have you ever woken up one day just feeling utterly horrible? like you were meant to put yourself in the garbage bin that very instant? well, that's how i feel right now. see, when i am happy, i am utterly nice and good and blah blah. but when i feel like shit, you wouldnt' even want to be around me. i know i have a sour face, but multiply that sourness by 10 and you can imagine how i look today.

i am not sure what triggered this unhappy feeling. maybe im stressed out because i'm not studying like i'm supposed to. maybe i'm feeling claustrophobic and need more time to myself. and maybe i'm just frustrated at my condition right now. this feeling is like an itchy feeling. you want to get rid of it, but the more you pay attention to it, the worse it gets.

i wanted to write something really nice today. i had just finished dan brown's da vinci book and am particularly fascinated by the PHI equation. i was also to write something really spiritual today, about my thoughts on my religion, and where my stand is right now. but i can't .... i'll just wait another day.

yesterday i really had a nice cooking session. i truly love cooking, and actually, if i were to suck at medicine, i would like to be a western chef and specialise in desserts. i'd be eating my food most of the time, but who cares? cooking is really nice. it really takes the stress off of you.

i've also been doing so much tests..personality tests, kissing tests...sigh.

1. my kissing purity is 87%

2. i am a great communicator

3. i was a mute dancer in china in the past life

4. my general knowledge is poor, but my vocab and logic are exceptionally high

5. im funky, outdoorsy, hippie, free spirited

6. my daddy is arnold schwarzenegger

7. you all see me as a slow and steady person

8. the keys to my heart are exactly like bren's

9. i'm actually 22 years old

courtesy of blogthings.com

the real me

oh yeah, dida told me to do this... so here goes

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:

1. kr_is1

2. sarah

3. amazon ( i find this name utterly sexy!)


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my eyes and my eyelashes. my eyelashes particularly

2. my boobs. just the right size

3. my legs. nice if i'm wearing a knee length skirt


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my tummy. hate it

2. thighs. hate it even more

3. my round face. its very hard to match clothes, hair and accessories


THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Bidayuh

2. iban

3. british...but its watered down a lot. happened during the rajah occupation, so its about 8 or 9 generations ago.and i think it was a scandalous affair!


THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. guys coming up to me

2. people hating me

3. me being confused. i don't like it when im not sure of everything around me


THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. tv

2. sweet junk food

3. music

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. a knee length skirt

2. my reebok blouse

3. my underused white flat sandals

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:

1. U2. they rock, and they're original

2. mariah carey. her octaves are hot

3. jamiroquai...they are weird and eccentric. and i've liked them since sec school

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:

1. Unbreak my heart - Toni Braxton

2. Water runs dry- boyz 2 men

3. under the stars- mariah carey


Three things you want in a relationship:

1. mutual understanding

2. loyalty

3. deep love


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:

1. I am actually a shy person

2. I would love to wear a bikini

3. I am into mysticismy


THREE physical things about the preferrd sex that appeals to you:

1. eyes, must be sexy and beautiful

2. good upper chest

3. smile, definitely


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. exercise

2. shopping ( honest!)

3. meeting close friends


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. scream

2. punch someone

3. eat every flavor of ice cream at baskin robbins


THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:

1. nun

2. scientist/researcher

3. medicine

(2 down, 1 to go)


THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. new york

2. south africa

3. brazil

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:

1. Serena

2. Jordan

3. elizabeth

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. travel the world and go to remote places

2. join doctors without borders

3. have grandchildren


THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:

1. i love sports

2. i can be detached from people

3. i dont care what people think about me

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:

1. i love makeup and shopping

2. I extremely love gossiping

3. i am a good listener


THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:

1. Angeline chan

2. brendalai

3. megalomaniac giant

Thoughts at 2am

I haven't been blogging here for a long time so thought I should do my duty now and hopefully, anything that comes on is at least half-coherent.
It's Week 5 at Stanford, and like I've bemoaned to every one of my friends unfortunate enough to meet me online, I've never studied this hard in my whole life before.
The homeworks just keep a-comin' and 24 hours in a day never seemd so short before. It's 2am right now and I haven't gone to sleep, but I should. Goodness knows I don't get enough of it from Monday to Thursday.
Am staying up late because have been doing an abstract for a term paper for one of the courses I'm taking called Water Resources Management. Have chosen as my topic: the Bakun Hydroelectric Project. And you guys all know what a sensitive subject that is. The problem is, it's really hard to get any data on anything related to Malaysia on the Net and Malaysian scientists don't really publish papers (bad, bad habit people). So I will have to rely on foreign sources of information and on websites that are clearly anti-Bakun...o how to get an objective view on the whole issue??
But seriously, my own personal opinion is that it's just a giant white elephant. Have come across statements from our government ministers saying that Bakun is "environmentally friendly". Hello?? Do they even know what a dam is?? No dam is "environmentally friendly"! Nothing is "environmentally friendly" when you have to raze huge tracts of land and essentially drown it to build the darn thing!
But all that protesting against the project is futile because it's almost complete (should be done by the end of next year or so). The thing I'm hoping to focus on is the impact on the local people, some 10000, that have been relocated to Belaga in 1998 and in some respects, have yet to come to terms with their new homes and adapt. How could they, when you take away the land they've been living on for centuries and essentially tell them to find a new way of living? For all the government's statements about how the project is bringing development to the people, nobody asked if the people were unhappy with how things were and if they even wanted to be "developed" in the first place? I'm sure they might have said "no, thanks" if they knew that they were going to have to leave their fertile land for a less productive one in Belaga, or that they could no longer fish or hunt as freely as their ancestors did, or that they would be compensated for the land they lost but would have to use part of that compensation money to buy houses that the government built for them in Belaga (Huh??). Some of them aren't even compensated due to legaities and such: people in the interion aren't too particular about keeping land records and such. Did you know that one of the saddest things about it is that the graves that they left behind. If they want to relocate the graves, they would be paid RM1,000 and if they leave them behind, they get paid RM2,000 per grave. I have no words.
So.
As good Sarawakians, we just stood aside and let things happen because that's how we Sarawakian do things: we don't like to cause trouble. And keep in mind that the dam was being built in the first place to supply electricity to Peninsular Malaysia.. Not Sarawak, or even Sabah, but Peninsular Malaysia. It boggles the mind. It wouldn't even directly benefit us, the government had to come up with plans to develop side industries like cottage industries or ecotourism so that we wouldn't be totally left out. It brings to mind the image of a dog eating scraps thrown from the master's table. Sigh.
OK, going to stop now before I get ISA-ed. Blogs are dangerous. Didn't Sarah just do a rant against the Establishment a few months back?
It's 2.15am, time to go to sleep. Have to be up at 8am to go to Jasper Ridge (Stanford's "Rimba Ilmu", UM alumni would know what I mean).
Ta ta!

the stressed out chef

Before i continue with today's cooking class, i'd like you all to check out a website: http://jobpredictor.com. i found out i'm supposed to be a porn star in real life, and me pornie name would be RANDY RABBIT. Hilarious!! On the serious side, i do know that a lot of women take up pole dancing classes nowadays to get fit. Who wants to start one? and yes, i'm supposed to die on 10 June 2061. Remember this date. If any of you are still alive and not demented, pls check to see how i am. And i'm supposed to keep a pet giraffe to enlighten my life.

Today i decided to cook fried rice for the FIRST time in my entire life. I had to cook rice twice, because the first time it was too soggy. being the goose that i am, i thought that if i were to slow cook the rice in a pot it would be more dry. in the end, i burnt the rice and the pot. i don't know how i'm going to get rid of all the black marks on the bottom of the pot. i hate scraping stuff.

being a fighter, i tried to cook rice for a second time. this time, it was ok cos i used the little cup they provided to put the correct amount of water. then, i went preparing the ingredients. i put garlic and shallots in first, and i thought of getting the shallots out when they were nicely fried. instead, they turned completely black. The rest of the procedures were okay, and i finally got my fried rice at 11 am this morning. Carrefour has really nice premarinated meat, and this weekend i'm gonna try to cook steak and lamb chops for myself. if i ever get it right, i'll be truly proud of myself.

i had my presentation yesterday, and i'm still a bit scarred. i was really embarassed yesterday because my group was the only one whose q and a was more than 5 minutes, and ALL of the questions were asked by the lecturers. i did enjoy myself for the q and a, but after that i got really tired. and now i think the work we done must have been sucky or else we wouldn't get bombed so much. oh well, anyhow this is worse than when i was in um, cos for some reason, my ex lecturers always let me off the hook. i'm told that when i'm in sem 7 i have to do another research. Oh no!!!! *Sighs dramatically*

I also watched the Amityville Horror with my brother last weekend and let me tell you, i'm still in love with the gsc popcorn. Whether its lite and sweet or caramel, i love em all. The movie was ok, not as corny as ghost train, but i hate it when i myself can see all the ghosts. i think unseen things are scarier. nothing beats jap and thai movies. I'll be waiting for the movie 'the island' next week. and i heard initial d's pretty good too.

This brings me to genting. i've been asked to join friends for a trip there in the next two weeks, and i'm happy. but then i think of all the scary stories and i'm now unsure. to go or not to go? i might be going to redang too. hopefully the redang one does take off cos i've never been there before.

All goosed out

You're a Goose!

Most folks think you're silly, but those who know you best realize
that you can be quite serious and even vicious! You remind people of dinosaurs
with your stately gait and strange way of staring them down. People also associate
you with pillows and other elements of their bedding, but this just makes you
shudder. If you're from Canada, you've really been bugging people lately. What's
in the bag?


Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

ah yes, isn't it wonderful to be a goose? i thought that i might be an eagle or a vulture, but nooooooo, i had to be a goose. i've just finished my group research today, and feeling very tired right now. plus, i have to get my individual report done.

i am getting a little bit weighty because of the food i'm eating. lali n gang were supposed to eat mud pie last wednesday and instead, we went to kenny roger's. i'm not complaining, the choc muffin i had that day was superb. but now it means that the hole is my wallet is going to get bigger. i hear there's another REAL mud pie session to be held. Linda is also suggesting that we go to klang to have bakutteh/mud pie.

last thursday, i had durians for breakfast. as a result, i've been called mad. But, if you like something so much, and can't wait to get up in the morning for it, wouldn't any of you do the same thing for me? I want my mom to buy some slices of cake from secret recipe, since my bro is here. and last night, we watched Wrong Turn, such a stupid and disgusting movie.

My bro's hair is back to normal again, he must've chickened out from all the comments he got about his hair.i found out that not many people liked the movie war of the worlds. its boring and has a stupid ending.

i hate doing research, and i hope i never have to do it when i'm working. sure, it is fun discovering the results that you have, but writing and looking for review material is just too much for me. i can't stand it. i'd rather inject 100 patients a day or perform multiple births rather than doing research. my brain is feeling foggy right now.

Renal results came out last week, and the coordinator posted a reply regarding the feedback session. its always a joy for me to read what he has to say because he is so acidic in his comments.

glorious food

before i continue with my rantings, i just want to tell dida that she DOES lead an exciting life. okay, i've been eating and eating since last weekend,and i'm about to go out and have another food session later on. i went to watch war of the worlds yesterday, and it was really good! The ending is undoubtedly bad, but the whole thing, from the acting to the scripting to the directing, was good. AND scary. i mean, you can actually imagine all those things happening on earth in the near future. i give it 8/10, and its my fave alien movie together with independence day and MIB 1.

durian season is on full scale and last sunday i had loads of it. and i still feel like eating it. yesterday i had steak and some really good ice cream. i'll die if i'm dragged to gelare today. too much good food is bad. plus, my dad is here, and my mum will prob want to go to some nice restaurant. sigh.... i really have to jog like mad to make sure it doesn't go to my hips. its true, you know , that fat from the hips is 6times harder to go away than from the tummy.

i watched a bit of live 8 last weekend, and i'm really glad that musicians are taking time off to promote it. but,as to whether the whole thing really made a difference will only be known next week.

i saw this programme on discovery about doctors without frontiers. and its really sad that there are so many rich people as there are poor people. they showed doc and nurses in africa, and i was crying when i saw it. this nurse had to choose 50 ppl from a village to go to a feeing centre. and she had a hard time, because everyone needed help. The children were severely malnourished,and they were in constant pain because they were so thin. the worst part was this little boy who died in the hospital because the employees locked the equipment and he couldn't get a blood transfer. and all they could do, incl his dad, was to just wait for him to die. they say in africa its completely normal to have 2 or 3 of your kids to die. and they don't show any emotions because if they did, they would all be insane.

its true that G8 has to abolish the debt, but at the same time, the african leaders must also be clean. true, its hard to banish corruption completely.everyone wants to be rich, to have nice cars, nice clothes, go on a cruise. Who do i blame? i blame all those developed countries,for flaunting their richness at asia and africa, but not giving a damn about them. From south america, to brazil, to india, there are so many people who need help. true, i can't do anything about them. but i do wish those who could help them will do it. make the world a better place, like mj says.

old folks home

i wanted to write about this yesterday but i was too lazy to haul my butt up to imu.

as part of my selective, my gp had to go to an old folks' home in puchong, just to see how memory loss works, and to do some mental tests. We got lost on the way cos the driver thought we were going to an orphanage, so there we were, circling the same neighborhood 3 times.

i am being bias when i think of the elderly at an old folks' home. i still remembered when i was in form 2, and i had to go and do some charity work at the old folks home run by the Lion's club. it was pretty depressing to see them at the time, because they were really bed-ridden and sad. And i remember this one lady, who was really having dementia, and she kept undressing herself while my senior kept trying to dress her. and suddenly, she just peed on the floor.

When i was on the bus yesterday, i was thinking of that episode, and mentally bracing myself. To my suprise, the old folks' home is kinda small, its housed in a double-story hse. And the ppl there are really robust.Since my study involved questioning old ladies, i had to bring a friend who can speak mandarin, and we zoomed in on a few old ladies. but they were kinda shy...till this one lady came up to us.

i shall call her miss S, and i tell you, even if she's 69 yrs old, she's really a looker. she doesn't have any obvious wrinkles on her face and neck, and she has a very good memory, she scored quite high for the MMSE test. Jacqueline was translating for us most of the time, and this lady would just talk and talk. that was one of the best experiences i have ever had at an old folks' home. she was such a gem, and so were the others. One of the old men even played a harmonica piece for us, and this guy is 70++.

it took away my biasness towards how old folks' home are run, and the good thing about them is that they just dont sit down and stare into space. Miss S tells me in the afternoon they take up part time jobs,and in the evening they go exercise like walking in the parks. the only thing she was sad about was that there was not enough food for them.

i just hope that one day when i do have the cash and the time, i'd really like to help out on earth. i just realised last night, that our lives on earth are so incredibly short. and its true what god says, our lives are just a blink in time,so what we do when we're alive matters a lot :)

woe is me

8 am- woke up for a little while to take a piss. Thought of waking up for real, but went back to sleep.

8.50 am- wow...latest time i've woken up for this week. Proceed to stumble wildly to kitchen to prepare breakfast

9 am- am slow boiling porridge. added two eggs, some seaweed, generous salt, soy sauce and it still tastes bland. am worried that i will not cook good porridge like my granma.

9.10 am - eating in front of tv and drinking mango juice. Watching how a polar bear kills beluga whales by jumping on it repeatedly, only to have his meal stolen by a bigger polar bear. Then watch wacko animals on animal planet. Forgot about the animals anyway.

10 am- cleared breakfast and sitting on desk playing spider solitaire. starting to feel queasy and nauseous because of breakfast. feel seaweed going up throat. suppress desire to puke.

10.30am- trying to start typing for lit review. just managed to do abstract when i feel bloated and puking again. i now know how pregnant mommies feel

11.30 am - can't take it anymore!!! go to bed and do a yoga stance with eyes closed in the hopes of taking away nauseatic feeling. in the process, dreaming of a date with tony eusoff. hmmmm.....

12pm- dida wakes me up from my beautiful fantasy asking me for a bkshop's phone no. also calls me a f*** for suggesting she gets married! heheheh. am updated about the latest happenings, then proceed to rummage my already messy room for the phone no.in the process, i proceed to tell her that i got depressed when i read her blog yesterday. i'm feeling very OLD right now.

12.15pm- sigh...have to bathe and get ready for school.

1pm-busy getting ready and ironing skirt. wonder if i can borrow a cheesy romance novel from the lib.

1.50 pm- realised my aunt misscalled me. she's coming this fri, and i can predict a major shopping session with her. wonder if there are any mud pie sessions this week. queasy feeling coming back. Thinking of the beef stew i will be having tonite. yum!

A laundry room! With dryers! All your clothes cleaned automatically! Heaven!! 

memory loss

this is going to be my literature review for my physio selective. exercise and memory loss, to be exact. Since this month is so slo-mo, i find myself waking up around 8-10 every morning, eating my breakfast, and wanting to go back to sleep again.

the sem 5 results are out, and i bid a goodbye to all my seniors. i'm hoping they all did well and all passed. i hope none of them have to resit, cos that would make me scared. i am now deciding whether i should really go to a doc and get some more antibiotics cos i;m still coughing like mad. on the other hand, i kinda like it; its like exercising when you're sitting. ever heard research about where they say ppl who fidget more lose more cals? well, i think i am an example of one. the worst thing is when i can't sleep at night. that sucks.

Gayatri and irene came to my place yesterday to return my house of wax dvd. i must say, i like the way paris hilton died. it was the highlight of the entire movie. i managed to watch a little bit of 'growing up gotti' and suprise, surprise, i think that her son carmine is absolutely cute!! he's got the looks and the style. And i still prefer paris to nicole richie. She's not so bitchy as the former.

dida is now becoming the official shrink of many ppl, including me. she does make a good one, i might add. no pretensions, no soft words, just right-smack-in-your-face. haha, i'm thinking she's actually blushing now!