ok, after days of trying to post some videos, i finally got it right. yeah, yeah, i'm an old makcik who's not tech-savvy.
below is a scene from one of my favourite comedy shows, little britain. it makes fun of everyone in the uk, and this is one of my favourite characters, CArol beer.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
my broken spirit
How do you tell a person who's just insulted you that enough is enough? That you would never insult a person about their physical traits or the way they speak/behave? I can't. I can never tell a person off, unless i am absolutely furious with rage, and let the person have my anger. I did it once, and i never want to do it again. The effect it had on both me and the scolded person was a lesson i learned in my young age.
I am naturally an easy person to get along with.I'm quiet, unassuming,i mind my own business and generally i wouldn't give a damn about how you look like, what your family background is, and what you're working as, as long as you are a good person and i can trust you. I also seldom make fun of people, but when i do, the other person has a right to insult me back.
Very few people have ever insulted me about my height, and i am very sensitive about that.They were either insulting me behind my back, or just didn't care how tall i was. But i get extremely pissed off when people insult me just to make themselves feel good, or to boost their f***ing low self-esteems high. They may just be joking with me, or unintentionally say things, but you know what, the things that comes out from your mouth tells me a lot of things about your character.
If i could have insulted them till they cried, i would. But i would just be as bad as them, and i would degrade myself to the level of a teenage schoolgirl. To all those people who get teased in whatsoever way till they feel bad about themselves, don't worry. I know how you guys feel. At the ripe old age of 26,i'm supposed to be busy with other things, but instead i have to vent my anger on this blog.
And to all those people who deliberately/non-deliberately insult others, insult behind our backs, or if you do want to insult us to our face, at least have the guts to admit to yourself that your own self-esteem sucks like a stagnant water drain.
On my part, i realise that i can be too sensitive at times. I tend to take comments about my height/weight as a personal insult. I also realise there are a lot of bitchy people in the world. I have tried very hard since my uni days to dismiss the hurt i feel. I have very much improved since my teenage days, but i still feel the sting now and then. It hurts, of course it does, and for that is why i am extra careful about making people close to me. Once you learn, you never forget.
I am naturally an easy person to get along with.I'm quiet, unassuming,i mind my own business and generally i wouldn't give a damn about how you look like, what your family background is, and what you're working as, as long as you are a good person and i can trust you. I also seldom make fun of people, but when i do, the other person has a right to insult me back.
Very few people have ever insulted me about my height, and i am very sensitive about that.They were either insulting me behind my back, or just didn't care how tall i was. But i get extremely pissed off when people insult me just to make themselves feel good, or to boost their f***ing low self-esteems high. They may just be joking with me, or unintentionally say things, but you know what, the things that comes out from your mouth tells me a lot of things about your character.
If i could have insulted them till they cried, i would. But i would just be as bad as them, and i would degrade myself to the level of a teenage schoolgirl. To all those people who get teased in whatsoever way till they feel bad about themselves, don't worry. I know how you guys feel. At the ripe old age of 26,i'm supposed to be busy with other things, but instead i have to vent my anger on this blog.
And to all those people who deliberately/non-deliberately insult others, insult behind our backs, or if you do want to insult us to our face, at least have the guts to admit to yourself that your own self-esteem sucks like a stagnant water drain.
On my part, i realise that i can be too sensitive at times. I tend to take comments about my height/weight as a personal insult. I also realise there are a lot of bitchy people in the world. I have tried very hard since my uni days to dismiss the hurt i feel. I have very much improved since my teenage days, but i still feel the sting now and then. It hurts, of course it does, and for that is why i am extra careful about making people close to me. Once you learn, you never forget.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
psychiatry part 2
i'll be doing my last week of psychiatry soon. And after this...Family medicine. Scary!
The lazy bug is still in me. This afternoon i went to the hospital to clerk patients for tomorrow's presentation. I was in the geriatric ward and had to find pts aged 65 and above. clerking the elderly is a bit like clerking young children, you have to be patient with both. I spent 3 hours in the afternoon just looking for suitable cases, and am totally tired now.
Last week i went to a geriatric clinic to see how patients are managed. There was this cute little old lady who came from a nursing home. She was about my height (which is short), her hair was short and parted to one side, and she had big bottle glasses on her face. She was absolutely a darling! THe moment she walked in, yuhana and i were just looking at her. And when she sat down, she said 'adoi'. She also had a high pitched voice, not exactly like alvin and the chipmunks, but a few tones lower. Which made her more adorable. What makes her stand out is that there is a cheerful expression on her face, and you can see that if you were to talk to her, she would be more than happy to. Yuhana started a conversation with her, and she was talking cheerfully. Then she got to the part where she said that she was put at the old folks' home because her children and grandchildren were too busy too look after her, and that they seldom see her. Then my eyes started tearing up. if one were to go to an old folk's home, its an eye opener. Most of the old folks are very happy that youngsters come to see them. The sadness on their faces disappears for a little while.
It was the same thing at the geriatric clinic that day. Most of the patients who came in had a sad feeling/sad aura. Even though on the outside they look okay, but you can see that it hurts them that they have no one to take care of them. Maybe there is a reason why some of them are put at old folk's home, for example, they need extra care round the clock, and there's no one at home who can do that. Or, they have some form of delirium/dementia. But if they are put there for no good reason, its not a good thing to do, yeah? I have a grandma at home who has sacrificed so much for me in my 26 years. Every time i come back to kch, she would pamper me as usual. So, the thought of me putting her in an old folks' home is just unimaginable. THe same can be said for my parents. I'm not judging or condemning anyone, i just think its sad that we don't take care of them after what they've done for us.
Speaking of which, i personally hope that children who've been brought up from orphanages do well in life. Yeah, i seldom go to orphanages, but secretly i pray that they will succeed in life, get scholarships to study and help their homes in turn. Sometimes i get upset when things don't turn out my way/i always demand too much from my parents. At other times, i feel lucky that i do have parents, and that i'm blessed enough to do what i love, and to have the 3 essential things any human being should have.
When we read stories/books in the paper about young children in africa who are made to be soldiers for warlords, or who are raped or orphaned at a young age, that's when i realise that life is bigger than just caring about myself. I hate it when i read about circumcision for girls, and the fact that most children in the world don't have a proper education, a proper home, and so on. I can't do anything about it for the moment, but it has made me to be a less selfish person, and to be happy with what i have.
I saw pan's labyrinth last week, and primeval and mr. bean this week. Pan's is quite a depressing story, but the script is excellent, and it just wants to tell that hell can also occur on earth. The actors are good, and when i watched the movie, it made me think of the japanese occupation in malaya. Ofelia's father, the captain, had his own tools of torture, which made me cringe! primeval is you basic killer eater croc, but it also had a background story about the warfare going on in africa. As for mr. bean, sometimes i was irritated with his action, and sometimes it was so funny i was laughing like a hyena. its sad that this will be his last movie....he has inspired me to try and drive a mini cooper at least once...i'll try my best to find a mini cooper owning friend in kch.
I'm really tired, will nap soon. The trailer for pirates 3 is excellent. How can anyone not fall in love with captain jack sparrow? He's such a charmer.
The lazy bug is still in me. This afternoon i went to the hospital to clerk patients for tomorrow's presentation. I was in the geriatric ward and had to find pts aged 65 and above. clerking the elderly is a bit like clerking young children, you have to be patient with both. I spent 3 hours in the afternoon just looking for suitable cases, and am totally tired now.
Last week i went to a geriatric clinic to see how patients are managed. There was this cute little old lady who came from a nursing home. She was about my height (which is short), her hair was short and parted to one side, and she had big bottle glasses on her face. She was absolutely a darling! THe moment she walked in, yuhana and i were just looking at her. And when she sat down, she said 'adoi'. She also had a high pitched voice, not exactly like alvin and the chipmunks, but a few tones lower. Which made her more adorable. What makes her stand out is that there is a cheerful expression on her face, and you can see that if you were to talk to her, she would be more than happy to. Yuhana started a conversation with her, and she was talking cheerfully. Then she got to the part where she said that she was put at the old folks' home because her children and grandchildren were too busy too look after her, and that they seldom see her. Then my eyes started tearing up. if one were to go to an old folk's home, its an eye opener. Most of the old folks are very happy that youngsters come to see them. The sadness on their faces disappears for a little while.
It was the same thing at the geriatric clinic that day. Most of the patients who came in had a sad feeling/sad aura. Even though on the outside they look okay, but you can see that it hurts them that they have no one to take care of them. Maybe there is a reason why some of them are put at old folk's home, for example, they need extra care round the clock, and there's no one at home who can do that. Or, they have some form of delirium/dementia. But if they are put there for no good reason, its not a good thing to do, yeah? I have a grandma at home who has sacrificed so much for me in my 26 years. Every time i come back to kch, she would pamper me as usual. So, the thought of me putting her in an old folks' home is just unimaginable. THe same can be said for my parents. I'm not judging or condemning anyone, i just think its sad that we don't take care of them after what they've done for us.
Speaking of which, i personally hope that children who've been brought up from orphanages do well in life. Yeah, i seldom go to orphanages, but secretly i pray that they will succeed in life, get scholarships to study and help their homes in turn. Sometimes i get upset when things don't turn out my way/i always demand too much from my parents. At other times, i feel lucky that i do have parents, and that i'm blessed enough to do what i love, and to have the 3 essential things any human being should have.
When we read stories/books in the paper about young children in africa who are made to be soldiers for warlords, or who are raped or orphaned at a young age, that's when i realise that life is bigger than just caring about myself. I hate it when i read about circumcision for girls, and the fact that most children in the world don't have a proper education, a proper home, and so on. I can't do anything about it for the moment, but it has made me to be a less selfish person, and to be happy with what i have.
I saw pan's labyrinth last week, and primeval and mr. bean this week. Pan's is quite a depressing story, but the script is excellent, and it just wants to tell that hell can also occur on earth. The actors are good, and when i watched the movie, it made me think of the japanese occupation in malaya. Ofelia's father, the captain, had his own tools of torture, which made me cringe! primeval is you basic killer eater croc, but it also had a background story about the warfare going on in africa. As for mr. bean, sometimes i was irritated with his action, and sometimes it was so funny i was laughing like a hyena. its sad that this will be his last movie....he has inspired me to try and drive a mini cooper at least once...i'll try my best to find a mini cooper owning friend in kch.
I'm really tired, will nap soon. The trailer for pirates 3 is excellent. How can anyone not fall in love with captain jack sparrow? He's such a charmer.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
too many As
once again the result season is out. The nationwide hunt to find out who the top scorer is starting. The highest number of subjects taken is 19. out of the hundreds of thousands of canditates, only less than 200 take more than 12 subjects. shall i start my criticism?
What were those students thinking? That by taking more than 12 subjects and scoring as many As as possible, will give them an advantage over a candidate that takes only the necessary subjects? I asked my classmate this question, and she thought that maybe they are not sure about what they want to study next. True, its possible. i have no doubt that they are the brainiest students our country has, and that it was hard work alone, and a bit of genetics, that got them their wonderful results. But some students in the science stream are also taking general science, and other minor papers that got them the extra As. General science is basically for the arts stream, and a simplified version of the science subjects that they learned. I don't get it. Why torture yourself by taking so many subjects? of course its a challenge, academically, but what about other things in life? Again, ppl would say that these students also excel in their co-curricular studies, being president of this club, and that club....The point of all my criticism is that students should just take the subjects which they really need, and maybe are interested in. I think the rush to obtain scholarships to study overseas is the major factor in this rush for As.
I still feel lucky that my spm was in the 90's. During those times, the highest result achievable was 9 or 10A1s. and i had a lot of fun in my form 4 and form 5, no thanks to a zany bunch of friends.
I do hope the Education Ministry won't encourage this trend of taking too many As. There are a lot of other things we need to do to ensure our youngsters become good adults. For example, teaching them to be courteous,polite, and not to be so kiasu. Just look at the malaysian drivers and the number of accidents that are increasing. There is also a need to have our students to think broad mindedly, to look at the world affairs, and to develop their habit of speaking what is on their minds, to be creative, to be confident, and to increase the standard of english. So many things that we can improve on, and its not just the results on paper that will make everything work for us.I say all of the above, because that's where i feel that i lack, and even though i've improved a bit, i can't compare myself to those graduates from european or american unis. My problem, till today is the fear of making my opinions known, of keeping quiet during a discussion even though i have many things to say. And also, i know no one will teach us manners, no one will tell us when to be courteous. But we can learn from the people around us, can't we? The Education Ministry keeps saying that it wants to improve the education system in the country, but it keeps saying that yearly, and i think the ones that will suffer in the end will be the youngsters.
It will be the end of my orthopaedics posting, and i'm glad i'm gonna finish it. its fun, but i don't see myself realigning patient's bones. Can you imagine little ol'me realigning the bones of a patient with a build like the Rock? Last week, my aunts and cousins watched Akademi Fantasia. I didn't bother watching it because its so predictable. But i've watched Heroes, and i think its not bad at all. I HAVE to watch a movie this weekend. My brother's coming down, and i'm trying to encourage him to either watch Pan's labyrinth or Primeval. Me and crocs just get along well.
Primeval is based on a real life story. There's this croc that lives in Zambia and his name is Gustav. He's apparently eaten 300 people so far and is still at large. He developed a taste for humans as a result of the war in zambia, where bodies were just thrown into the river.
My next posting will be psychiatry, and i have to interview patients in the wards. Previously, i was just seeing patients at the psychiatric ward. Now, i'm supposed to ask them how it feels like to be in the hospital, and how was their reaction when they got the bad news. As long as i get to see some docs that i like in the psych ward, i'm a pretty happy girl!
Another one of my ex-uni mate has just gotten married. This time its Farnidah, congrats to her! Thank god my mum never asks me when i plan to get married/do i have a boyfriend. My aunts just can't wait for me to tie the knot. They want to have another baby in the family....I'm not ready yet. Marriage is a big thing for me. And i don't mind marrying in my 30's.
What were those students thinking? That by taking more than 12 subjects and scoring as many As as possible, will give them an advantage over a candidate that takes only the necessary subjects? I asked my classmate this question, and she thought that maybe they are not sure about what they want to study next. True, its possible. i have no doubt that they are the brainiest students our country has, and that it was hard work alone, and a bit of genetics, that got them their wonderful results. But some students in the science stream are also taking general science, and other minor papers that got them the extra As. General science is basically for the arts stream, and a simplified version of the science subjects that they learned. I don't get it. Why torture yourself by taking so many subjects? of course its a challenge, academically, but what about other things in life? Again, ppl would say that these students also excel in their co-curricular studies, being president of this club, and that club....The point of all my criticism is that students should just take the subjects which they really need, and maybe are interested in. I think the rush to obtain scholarships to study overseas is the major factor in this rush for As.
I still feel lucky that my spm was in the 90's. During those times, the highest result achievable was 9 or 10A1s. and i had a lot of fun in my form 4 and form 5, no thanks to a zany bunch of friends.
I do hope the Education Ministry won't encourage this trend of taking too many As. There are a lot of other things we need to do to ensure our youngsters become good adults. For example, teaching them to be courteous,polite, and not to be so kiasu. Just look at the malaysian drivers and the number of accidents that are increasing. There is also a need to have our students to think broad mindedly, to look at the world affairs, and to develop their habit of speaking what is on their minds, to be creative, to be confident, and to increase the standard of english. So many things that we can improve on, and its not just the results on paper that will make everything work for us.I say all of the above, because that's where i feel that i lack, and even though i've improved a bit, i can't compare myself to those graduates from european or american unis. My problem, till today is the fear of making my opinions known, of keeping quiet during a discussion even though i have many things to say. And also, i know no one will teach us manners, no one will tell us when to be courteous. But we can learn from the people around us, can't we? The Education Ministry keeps saying that it wants to improve the education system in the country, but it keeps saying that yearly, and i think the ones that will suffer in the end will be the youngsters.
It will be the end of my orthopaedics posting, and i'm glad i'm gonna finish it. its fun, but i don't see myself realigning patient's bones. Can you imagine little ol'me realigning the bones of a patient with a build like the Rock? Last week, my aunts and cousins watched Akademi Fantasia. I didn't bother watching it because its so predictable. But i've watched Heroes, and i think its not bad at all. I HAVE to watch a movie this weekend. My brother's coming down, and i'm trying to encourage him to either watch Pan's labyrinth or Primeval. Me and crocs just get along well.
Primeval is based on a real life story. There's this croc that lives in Zambia and his name is Gustav. He's apparently eaten 300 people so far and is still at large. He developed a taste for humans as a result of the war in zambia, where bodies were just thrown into the river.
My next posting will be psychiatry, and i have to interview patients in the wards. Previously, i was just seeing patients at the psychiatric ward. Now, i'm supposed to ask them how it feels like to be in the hospital, and how was their reaction when they got the bad news. As long as i get to see some docs that i like in the psych ward, i'm a pretty happy girl!
Another one of my ex-uni mate has just gotten married. This time its Farnidah, congrats to her! Thank god my mum never asks me when i plan to get married/do i have a boyfriend. My aunts just can't wait for me to tie the knot. They want to have another baby in the family....I'm not ready yet. Marriage is a big thing for me. And i don't mind marrying in my 30's.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Semester 8, here i come!
sheesh, its been a long time since i've bothered to write anything down at all. i was just lazy. i had a hell of a time with my exams, i had 2 weeks of a holiday break, and i'm back in seremban again. i enjoyed chinese new year with my family, we had a good dinner while there were fireworks in the sky. i went house visiting with still more food,and i slept and played computer games nonstop. i fell sick during the following week, probably because of too much late night sleeping, and because of that i've to suffer with a blocked nose. All my batchmates passed the exams, and it was a really good feeling, we've been made to suffer for quite some time. The euphoria is short-lived, however, as my batch is currently getting a beating by our lecturers again. It is quite frustrating sometimes to forget whatever that you've learned. Take me for example. i'm starting with ortho again, and despite it being my last posting last semester, i still can't remember some crucial stuff. And it doesn't help when your other group memebers are also brainy as well. my major problem in ortho has to be the nerve injuries, it keeps slipping from my mind. And i heard my mates in other postings are also getting a beating from the other lecturers. Sometimes it would be nice to just about keep everything in your head, isn't it? i thought semester 8 would be nice, but it turns out tougher than semester 7. well, its 4 months of me in seremban, then i get to go back to kuching for another 2 months to complete my selectives and electives.
I wonder why ilove characters in fiction books. Take for example my crush on this character called pendergast (created by douglas preston and lincoln child). He is described as being tall, with pale skin, pale blond hair and blue eyes. He comes with a high IQ, comes from a southern family that happens to be rich and mad at the same time, and is an FBI agent. And i can't get enough of this guy. Another character i'm attached to is called lincoln rhymes, but i forgot who is author is. He also has the same characteristics as pendergast, but he is a tetraplegic. If i could, i would buy all the books i'm interested in. I also had a good time watching movies. The next movie i want to watch is called Primeval, about a 20 foot long croc that loves devouring humans. I've watched borat, its funny at times, and really stupid at times. No wander Kazakhstan is angry with the movie.
Did Martin scorcese deserve an oscar for best director? Yes. But i don't think his movie deserved a best picture. The malaysian stars were, ironically dressed in evening gowns and tuxedos to have a glitzy breakfast while watching oscars. Sometimes you wonder who comes up with all these sort of ideas. My house nearly got robbed again, and i'm pissed off, because it seems that certain humans just want to have an easy life taking other people's things. And the thief attempted to open the window to the study room where i play my pc games every night.
Lent has also started and i'm on my best behaviour this season. Since i didn't observe lent last year, i'll try my best this time around. I wish that some priests would be more interesting when they preach, but i guess some things never change.
I wonder why ilove characters in fiction books. Take for example my crush on this character called pendergast (created by douglas preston and lincoln child). He is described as being tall, with pale skin, pale blond hair and blue eyes. He comes with a high IQ, comes from a southern family that happens to be rich and mad at the same time, and is an FBI agent. And i can't get enough of this guy. Another character i'm attached to is called lincoln rhymes, but i forgot who is author is. He also has the same characteristics as pendergast, but he is a tetraplegic. If i could, i would buy all the books i'm interested in. I also had a good time watching movies. The next movie i want to watch is called Primeval, about a 20 foot long croc that loves devouring humans. I've watched borat, its funny at times, and really stupid at times. No wander Kazakhstan is angry with the movie.
Did Martin scorcese deserve an oscar for best director? Yes. But i don't think his movie deserved a best picture. The malaysian stars were, ironically dressed in evening gowns and tuxedos to have a glitzy breakfast while watching oscars. Sometimes you wonder who comes up with all these sort of ideas. My house nearly got robbed again, and i'm pissed off, because it seems that certain humans just want to have an easy life taking other people's things. And the thief attempted to open the window to the study room where i play my pc games every night.
Lent has also started and i'm on my best behaviour this season. Since i didn't observe lent last year, i'll try my best this time around. I wish that some priests would be more interesting when they preach, but i guess some things never change.
Monday, January 08, 2007
god does exist
so....xmas is over, new year's is over, and i have less than a month for my finals. I have to study for finals, long case, and 2 mcq's. its enough to drive anyone crazy. and sorry, i dont' have time to listen to anyone's complaints/whining until the end of chinese new year, because i am going to be selfish, and make sure i pass this finals. I do NOT want to waste my parents money, or my time, because i am getting old. almost everyone is getting a bf and getting married. I on the other hand am still single and blessed with big eye bags.
now i'm in my orthopaedics posting. i find this a challenge, because whenever anatomy is concerned, i have problems remembering everything. and the clinical examinations are numerous. Not to mention all the nerves that are involved. Sometimes i really wonder how i'm going to pass everything.
Today, i lost my wallet. yes, i thought i lost it because on my way back from class, i was about to dig into my bag and pull out my wallet to pay something. and it wasn't there. At that time, i was in a friends' car. And his bag was next to mine, and ZIPPED up. YOu'll understand later why i emphasise the fact that his bag was shut tight. so poor me was dumping everything out of the bag, searching his car, then searching the entire school for my wallet. I even asked my classmates if they saw my wallet.
I don't mind if money is lost, but its my ic and driving license that i'm particular about. Those from sarawak would understand that an ic shortens time at the immigration booth on our touchdown at any s'wak airport. we don't have to fill up so many forms. anyway, i got depressed and was prepared to go to make a police report the next day. Half an hour after sending me, my friend called up and told me he found my wallet sitting on top of his bag, which was zipped tight, and which was locked in the car. After sending me, he went back to uni to pass up something. when he opened his bag at first, he didn't see my wallet AT ALL. and he swore by this. and he left his bag in the car and locked the car. When he came back, the wallet was sitting on top of his books. He himself was puzzled by it, and so am i. I mean, it is possible that my wallet accidentally dropped into his bag. But his bag was closed when i opened mine, and if it was already inside, he would've noticed it when he first opened his bag after sending me.
I told him a ghost probably stole it and put it in his bag. But honestly, his bag wasn't really close to mine in the first place. Does anyone think that God did help me after reading this? I hope so, because i believe He did. Anyone else who thinks i'm having a delusion or am going crazy would probably be right too, but i just can't explain it. maybe my wallet does have special powers after all. But dear God, thanks for saving me the hassle of going to the police station tomorrow.
now i'm in my orthopaedics posting. i find this a challenge, because whenever anatomy is concerned, i have problems remembering everything. and the clinical examinations are numerous. Not to mention all the nerves that are involved. Sometimes i really wonder how i'm going to pass everything.
Today, i lost my wallet. yes, i thought i lost it because on my way back from class, i was about to dig into my bag and pull out my wallet to pay something. and it wasn't there. At that time, i was in a friends' car. And his bag was next to mine, and ZIPPED up. YOu'll understand later why i emphasise the fact that his bag was shut tight. so poor me was dumping everything out of the bag, searching his car, then searching the entire school for my wallet. I even asked my classmates if they saw my wallet.
I don't mind if money is lost, but its my ic and driving license that i'm particular about. Those from sarawak would understand that an ic shortens time at the immigration booth on our touchdown at any s'wak airport. we don't have to fill up so many forms. anyway, i got depressed and was prepared to go to make a police report the next day. Half an hour after sending me, my friend called up and told me he found my wallet sitting on top of his bag, which was zipped tight, and which was locked in the car. After sending me, he went back to uni to pass up something. when he opened his bag at first, he didn't see my wallet AT ALL. and he swore by this. and he left his bag in the car and locked the car. When he came back, the wallet was sitting on top of his books. He himself was puzzled by it, and so am i. I mean, it is possible that my wallet accidentally dropped into his bag. But his bag was closed when i opened mine, and if it was already inside, he would've noticed it when he first opened his bag after sending me.
I told him a ghost probably stole it and put it in his bag. But honestly, his bag wasn't really close to mine in the first place. Does anyone think that God did help me after reading this? I hope so, because i believe He did. Anyone else who thinks i'm having a delusion or am going crazy would probably be right too, but i just can't explain it. maybe my wallet does have special powers after all. But dear God, thanks for saving me the hassle of going to the police station tomorrow.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
its the holiday season!
i am guilty of not updating my blog for a month. i just feeeeeeeeeeeeel lazy. Yesterday was the long case exam of my psychiatric posting. i had to clark a case which was diagnosed as mental retardation with psychosis and depression. Talk about tough! i diagnosed the case as adjustment disorder, because the patient told me her own story. in cases like this, a complete picture of the situation is needed from the other family members. I should pass though, but when i heard of the true diagnosis, i was so flabbergasted. Just goes to show that in psychiatry, nothing is definite.
I have a month before my final end of semester exams. hmmmm, my progression is slow, and i have so many things to study. i hate the fact that i have to do case reports, research and have 2mcq papers in one posting. sometimes its a bit overwhelming. funnily though, i handle this stress by imagining that i'm smoking cigarettes. Even though i know smoking is bad, i still think if i were to try smoking, i would like it. Blame those cigarrette ads!!
After 5 weeks of posting in psych, i have come to fear psych patients less. The first time i went to the ward, i was scared of those patients, and what they would do to me if they suddenly went into a rage. but by the second week, i was beginning to enjoy myself. and i found out they are no different from you and me, and sometimes sad events in their lives made them become like that. I have encountered around 10 cases where patients lost control of their lives because of a sad past.
A few of my ex-primary and secondary school friends have married this past year. I hope they have a happy marriage, and i also hope they'll have gorgeous kids! congratulations to emily, diana thian, joyce ho, jenny jee, and josephine kueh. if its my turn to get married, i will definitely inform everyone, but pls be prepared to book your own air asia flights :)
AAaargh, i can't wait to go back for christmas. i want to see all my cousins and aunts again. the best thing about family gatherings is that i get to update my news on everyone. And get to go a bit crazy once in a while. also,i want to see how my cousins have been growing up. I haven't seen some for many years. and i miss the christmas mass in st joe's church,i hope my parents are 'rajin' enough to go for the midnite mass this year. When the choir sings carols at midnite, it always makes my hair stand, its that meaningful. It always reminds me of how special Jesus is and how grateful i am that he was born into this world for us.
Ho-hum, i am definitely getting a handphone for xmas, and i most probably will be getting a nokia,but i'm not sure what type. The worst part is having to negotiate with my parents which type to buy. Man, i hope my aunts give me some extra cash so i can spend a bit more.
anyway, here's a Merry christmas to everyone. Enjoy your holidays!!!!!
I have a month before my final end of semester exams. hmmmm, my progression is slow, and i have so many things to study. i hate the fact that i have to do case reports, research and have 2mcq papers in one posting. sometimes its a bit overwhelming. funnily though, i handle this stress by imagining that i'm smoking cigarettes. Even though i know smoking is bad, i still think if i were to try smoking, i would like it. Blame those cigarrette ads!!
After 5 weeks of posting in psych, i have come to fear psych patients less. The first time i went to the ward, i was scared of those patients, and what they would do to me if they suddenly went into a rage. but by the second week, i was beginning to enjoy myself. and i found out they are no different from you and me, and sometimes sad events in their lives made them become like that. I have encountered around 10 cases where patients lost control of their lives because of a sad past.
A few of my ex-primary and secondary school friends have married this past year. I hope they have a happy marriage, and i also hope they'll have gorgeous kids! congratulations to emily, diana thian, joyce ho, jenny jee, and josephine kueh. if its my turn to get married, i will definitely inform everyone, but pls be prepared to book your own air asia flights :)
AAaargh, i can't wait to go back for christmas. i want to see all my cousins and aunts again. the best thing about family gatherings is that i get to update my news on everyone. And get to go a bit crazy once in a while. also,i want to see how my cousins have been growing up. I haven't seen some for many years. and i miss the christmas mass in st joe's church,i hope my parents are 'rajin' enough to go for the midnite mass this year. When the choir sings carols at midnite, it always makes my hair stand, its that meaningful. It always reminds me of how special Jesus is and how grateful i am that he was born into this world for us.
Ho-hum, i am definitely getting a handphone for xmas, and i most probably will be getting a nokia,but i'm not sure what type. The worst part is having to negotiate with my parents which type to buy. Man, i hope my aunts give me some extra cash so i can spend a bit more.
anyway, here's a Merry christmas to everyone. Enjoy your holidays!!!!!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
the holiday season is here!
aloha, aloha! after a long hiatus i'm back again. just came back from kl after a month of torture. I had 3 exams 2 weeks ago, and 1 of them was a total killer! needless to say, i will most probably fail that paper,and hopefully that will be the only time i fail. next week will be my second week of psychiatry posting. the first time i went to the ward, i was scared shit of the patients, but now i'm getting used to it. The patients i've interviewed can get as normal as you and me, but with some issues. There are some really sad stories as to how some of them got there. One was this patient who had to take care of her mother, and the mother beat her up everyday to the point that she can't talk till today. Sad, isn't it? and there are a lot of terms in psychiatry. its also not that relaxing as i thought it was.
all my cousins are in kl now for the school holidays, and guess what...i am fatter than all of them!!my mum is horrified that i am not thin, but actually i can't care less. As much as i hate my boobs sometimes, i gotta admit it is nice to have some curves. I don't mind my thighs getting smaller though...and i am sad to report that one of my girl cousins is dressing up like an ah L***. sad, sad. She has a good figure, but still can't match her clothes properly yet. Hopefully she'll learn in time.Why does everyone have to be thinner than me?
This weekend was one of my best, all my family members were in town, and i got some new stuff. My bro got an ipod nano (?), the one that can play videos, tv and store photo albums from my dad. I'm so jealous! His things always seem to be better than mine. Mum just got a new honda accord. its not bad, the interior is very comfortable, and the ride is smooth, espcially when it comes to bumps. I still want a mercedes c-compressor as a ride. its just so sexy!
the family went to watch james bond at midvalley. i wasn't so enthusiastic , cos bond movies always have the stupid sexy women and the MAN that saves the world theme. but i do have to agree that it is the best bond movie in a long time, because it wasn't so slutty, there was actually good acting and because daniel craig's body is the hottest i've ever seen. I don't mind seeing him in the next bond movie actually. He's a good actor. Sigh...i want a guy with a body like that
The xmas season is coming and all the shops are busy putting up decorations. since xmas and my special day is coming up, i've thought of a few things that i might want:
1. Another swatch chrono
2. Branded sunglasses
3. A new Nokia handphone
4. Lesportsac handbag
5. Another perfume?
out of all the above, i most probably will ask for the handbag and sunglasses. Sadly, i wont be in kuching for the hols because i need to prepare for my exams. Sometimes i do think its fun to be a girl, because girls have so much fun shopping for stuff and dressing up to go out. I feel like getting myself a dress to, if my mum says yes. i haven't worn a dress since 2 years ago.
ON another note, yes, i am a spoiled girl, and my parents do spoil me and my brother terribly. They do pamper us alot, but i am grateful that i have parents who love me alot. Without them,i dont' think i would be the person i am today :) and its sad that i do take them for granted most of the time.
all my cousins are in kl now for the school holidays, and guess what...i am fatter than all of them!!my mum is horrified that i am not thin, but actually i can't care less. As much as i hate my boobs sometimes, i gotta admit it is nice to have some curves. I don't mind my thighs getting smaller though...and i am sad to report that one of my girl cousins is dressing up like an ah L***. sad, sad. She has a good figure, but still can't match her clothes properly yet. Hopefully she'll learn in time.Why does everyone have to be thinner than me?
This weekend was one of my best, all my family members were in town, and i got some new stuff. My bro got an ipod nano (?), the one that can play videos, tv and store photo albums from my dad. I'm so jealous! His things always seem to be better than mine. Mum just got a new honda accord. its not bad, the interior is very comfortable, and the ride is smooth, espcially when it comes to bumps. I still want a mercedes c-compressor as a ride. its just so sexy!
the family went to watch james bond at midvalley. i wasn't so enthusiastic , cos bond movies always have the stupid sexy women and the MAN that saves the world theme. but i do have to agree that it is the best bond movie in a long time, because it wasn't so slutty, there was actually good acting and because daniel craig's body is the hottest i've ever seen. I don't mind seeing him in the next bond movie actually. He's a good actor. Sigh...i want a guy with a body like that
The xmas season is coming and all the shops are busy putting up decorations. since xmas and my special day is coming up, i've thought of a few things that i might want:
1. Another swatch chrono
2. Branded sunglasses
3. A new Nokia handphone
4. Lesportsac handbag
5. Another perfume?
out of all the above, i most probably will ask for the handbag and sunglasses. Sadly, i wont be in kuching for the hols because i need to prepare for my exams. Sometimes i do think its fun to be a girl, because girls have so much fun shopping for stuff and dressing up to go out. I feel like getting myself a dress to, if my mum says yes. i haven't worn a dress since 2 years ago.
ON another note, yes, i am a spoiled girl, and my parents do spoil me and my brother terribly. They do pamper us alot, but i am grateful that i have parents who love me alot. Without them,i dont' think i would be the person i am today :) and its sad that i do take them for granted most of the time.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
my laptop crashed
its now 11.30 pm and i've just finished one report. sigh, i hate to do reports. its not so much about typing, but about What to type. And now my eyes are strained. I had been wanting to write this afternoon, but my laptop was being reformatted by a classmate. I did some internet updates which i wasn't suppposed to do, and in the end i got barred from accessing my computer. Worse, i had bought a new computer game that i was dying to try out yesterday. Can't imagine life without my comp, its my soulmate for the moment! Anyway, said classmate did a brilliant job of rescuing my comp. Not only were all my original files retained, he also added a few programs to protect me from internet viruses and spywares. I need to 'belanja' him KFC one day.
Microsoft Vista is coming out, supposedly by the end of this year,and my dad said its one heck of a program. I m supposed to get a new laptop next year. the current one is f***ing slow, and its so frustrating to see others going topspeed on their internets. I want a Toshiba. but i love my current laptop all the same, its serviced me well for 5 years, plus all my pics and songs are in here.
Has anyone realised it takes an hour to cook,but only 20 minutes to finish eating what we've cooked? Sungguh tak berbaloi! But i am proud to say that my cooking skills has increased a bit...if only a bit. I am hankering for pancakes, but my housemates are not so keen to eat it. I am also hankering for mcdonald's icecream, and some gelato. I'll have to wait to go back to kl tomorrow.
what i really wanted to write today was about our politicians. Yes...those politicians who seems to promise a lot during elections but fail to deliver, and instead build gigantic houses without permits on land meant for the poor. I've always had a thing to say against policitians, and the current national news just strengthens my belief that we malaysians are really not using our brains when it comes to choosing our wakil rakyat. Worse still, no one dares to report them when they have done something which is against the law, and these politicians just get bolder and bolder till they believe they are above everyone else. Don't blame me for not voting; i don't feel like it. and don't ask me why i shouldn't join politics to make a change. One voice can of course make a difference, but i am not willing to sacrifice so much of myself for the thousands of others. its not my destiny. but for the 1or 2percent of honest politicians out there, i salute them for doing what they do. Its not easy to be straight when everyone else is crooked. why are we so pea brained to vote for these people? Its not as if they all have Phd's or something. most of them are like you or me. Why???
Another one involves the issue of a long overdue meeting between the Pm and ex-Pm. It was supposed to be a confidential meeting, and the next day all that transpired appears on the national newspapers. I respect both of them, but i have ABSOLUTE confidence that the PM knows what he is doing, and if we give him our support and be patient, i'm sure he can make a change. Its easy to critisize, but its different when you're in the hot seat.
Another interesting article appeared last weekend, when this columnist was telling about how her relatives who migrated overseas would send her emails regarding our country and how bad things are. She wondered why those relatives have to mail her news that which she already knows of, and said that no matter how bad things are, she stays in this country because she loves it and can't imagine living anywhere else in the world. She ended by saying 'heaven is where you make of it'. I think it is true what she says. I have no problems of people migrating, that is their business and i wish them luck. But it smacks of rudeness when they start critisizing the country which they were born, and which gave them the oppportunity to migrate in the first place. I think every country has its own problems, and its up to the people to find beauty in everyday life. Sure, some things need to be changed, but our country is actually a very nice place to live in. I also take my life for granted, until i visited other countries and saw the different cultures and policies. So yea, home is where the heart is!
Microsoft Vista is coming out, supposedly by the end of this year,and my dad said its one heck of a program. I m supposed to get a new laptop next year. the current one is f***ing slow, and its so frustrating to see others going topspeed on their internets. I want a Toshiba. but i love my current laptop all the same, its serviced me well for 5 years, plus all my pics and songs are in here.
Has anyone realised it takes an hour to cook,but only 20 minutes to finish eating what we've cooked? Sungguh tak berbaloi! But i am proud to say that my cooking skills has increased a bit...if only a bit. I am hankering for pancakes, but my housemates are not so keen to eat it. I am also hankering for mcdonald's icecream, and some gelato. I'll have to wait to go back to kl tomorrow.
what i really wanted to write today was about our politicians. Yes...those politicians who seems to promise a lot during elections but fail to deliver, and instead build gigantic houses without permits on land meant for the poor. I've always had a thing to say against policitians, and the current national news just strengthens my belief that we malaysians are really not using our brains when it comes to choosing our wakil rakyat. Worse still, no one dares to report them when they have done something which is against the law, and these politicians just get bolder and bolder till they believe they are above everyone else. Don't blame me for not voting; i don't feel like it. and don't ask me why i shouldn't join politics to make a change. One voice can of course make a difference, but i am not willing to sacrifice so much of myself for the thousands of others. its not my destiny. but for the 1or 2percent of honest politicians out there, i salute them for doing what they do. Its not easy to be straight when everyone else is crooked. why are we so pea brained to vote for these people? Its not as if they all have Phd's or something. most of them are like you or me. Why???
Another one involves the issue of a long overdue meeting between the Pm and ex-Pm. It was supposed to be a confidential meeting, and the next day all that transpired appears on the national newspapers. I respect both of them, but i have ABSOLUTE confidence that the PM knows what he is doing, and if we give him our support and be patient, i'm sure he can make a change. Its easy to critisize, but its different when you're in the hot seat.
Another interesting article appeared last weekend, when this columnist was telling about how her relatives who migrated overseas would send her emails regarding our country and how bad things are. She wondered why those relatives have to mail her news that which she already knows of, and said that no matter how bad things are, she stays in this country because she loves it and can't imagine living anywhere else in the world. She ended by saying 'heaven is where you make of it'. I think it is true what she says. I have no problems of people migrating, that is their business and i wish them luck. But it smacks of rudeness when they start critisizing the country which they were born, and which gave them the oppportunity to migrate in the first place. I think every country has its own problems, and its up to the people to find beauty in everyday life. Sure, some things need to be changed, but our country is actually a very nice place to live in. I also take my life for granted, until i visited other countries and saw the different cultures and policies. So yea, home is where the heart is!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
happy holidays
ahh, the holidays are finally here! It was deepavali yesterday, and Seremban town was so quiet. i'm starting my mornings by waking up around 8.30 am. anything later than that and i'll get a headache. After a week of stress, its certainly good to just let things kick back and relax. I don't plan to go to kl for this moment cos my condo's empty. My mum has gone back to sarawak,and what's the use of staying in kl alone? This morning my housemates n i went to the morning market in Seremban town to buy our supplies for next week. We took a taxi there. Initially we planned to go earlier, but everyone woke up late. Its big, a 2 storey building, and ironically cleaner than the padungan market in kuching. the 3 of us plan to cook our dinners in the evening. Don't ask me what the outcome of my cooking will be, as long as its palatable we'll eat it. so far, i plan to cook chicken soup, kicap chicken, marinated pork ribs and kicap pork. AND try to fry some mushrooms in the process. We then went to eat at the second floor of the building. the hawkers there have a funny rule. they allocate themselves tables. if it so happens that you sit on their table, you must order from their shop and not from any other. its really irritating because i think as a consumer i have a right to sit where i want to. And what if the tables belonging to another hawker are all full and i want to eat from their stall? I'll have to get used to their funny rules. My housemates are pretty pissed off by the whole thing and vow never to eat there again. One shop that stands out is the Seremban beef noodle. That's the only reason why i wanted to eat there. Their dry mee is quite good. the beef soup noodles are pretty much the same as anywhere else.
oklar, i've got to read up on my paeds now.
oklar, i've got to read up on my paeds now.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
I'm so exhaused
Yes, this is the week of hell for me. After a day at school, i have to go back to hospital every night to clark patients to prepare for tomorrow's session. what's different is that i didn't have to do this much work for other postings. Add to the fact that i HAVE to study again after i come back, its so exhausting for me. I have to send one case summary on friday, and tonight i have to learn about the induction of labour. Oh, i can't wait for friday. Its really killing me!!!
IN the last posting, i wrote about how women suffered during a vaginal delivery, and that i vowed to myself i would do a Caesarian section. Well, i take back my words. C-section is worse than vaginal delivery. Last weekend i was on-call at the labour room and i happened to see a case where a patient, a first time mother, had to do an operation. First they cut near the beneath the suprapubic area. Then, they make the cut bigger by pulling apart the subcutaneous tissue and fat with their own hands. Imagine doing that to all the layers of the skin, including the rectus abdominis, just to deliver the fetus. whew, i'm opting for a vaginal delivery anyday,even if they have to do an episiotomy on me.
tonight i have to go back to the wards again. Its really near the festive seasons, so not many patients are in the wards. I'm expecting a baby boom after hari raya. Imagine all the expectant mothers just holding on long enough until the festive seasons are over!!
IN the last posting, i wrote about how women suffered during a vaginal delivery, and that i vowed to myself i would do a Caesarian section. Well, i take back my words. C-section is worse than vaginal delivery. Last weekend i was on-call at the labour room and i happened to see a case where a patient, a first time mother, had to do an operation. First they cut near the beneath the suprapubic area. Then, they make the cut bigger by pulling apart the subcutaneous tissue and fat with their own hands. Imagine doing that to all the layers of the skin, including the rectus abdominis, just to deliver the fetus. whew, i'm opting for a vaginal delivery anyday,even if they have to do an episiotomy on me.
tonight i have to go back to the wards again. Its really near the festive seasons, so not many patients are in the wards. I'm expecting a baby boom after hari raya. Imagine all the expectant mothers just holding on long enough until the festive seasons are over!!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Labour
sigh. i just recovered from a bout of constipation in the morning. If anyone wants torture me in the future, all they have to do is make me constipated. If someone were to ask me if i would rather be constipated or having diarrhoea, i'd have the latter anytime, anyday. Its just like giving birth, something wants to come out but can't come out. so you have to push and push,and in the back of your mind there's always the thought of your anus getting torn off in the process. i solved the problem by taking some concentrated fiber drink, 1 big bottle of water and 1 banana. The torture i had to go through.
yesterday evening i spent my time in the labour room at the hospital and upon arriving i was fortunate to see a patient giving birth. Its amazing to see a woman's vagina dilating just to accomodate a baby's head. and when the head finally came through, i was so worried that the vagina might tear. sometimes if the vagina doesn't dilate enough, they cut it to make the birthing process easier. I keep telling myself again and again that i don't want to have a baby. Watching a woman give birth makes me feel sick. i can't imagine myself going through such pain. After the baby came out, the placenta came out next. the nurse had to pull out the placenta bit by bit. I was excited because it was the first ever placenta that i saw. I wanted to touch it but the nurse asked me to help her with something else. the part where they had to sew up the patient's vagina after the whole ordeal was the worst. i know the pain that they feel is considerably less than during the birthing process, but still, its a needle that's going into your flesh. Worse still, i can't imagine myself giving birth to babies and doing episiotomies on patients, without anaesthesia. I have ruled out specialising in obs and gynae. Let the men handle it.
Speaking of men, yesterday a first time mother requested that her husband be by her side when she gave birth, and he didn't dare to go into the labour room! I mean, come on, you made her pregnant in the first place,can't you at least have some guts to be with her? After all,she's the one who has to suffer, not you. I tell you, if the next time my husband does that, i swear i'll go out of the labour room and "ketuk' his head. sorry guys, but all you have had to do is to donate you sperm, and there's an endless supply of where that comes from. I wished god made both men and women able to give birth. I'm really thinking of having a c-section, but it takes a longer time to heal. and i can only have a max of 2-3 kids. Gee, i don't know.
Tomorrow i'll be on call again for the whole day. the next week will be hell for me because i have to interview my patients before the lecturer arrives in the morning. so every night i'll have to be at the hospital. In the mornings i have to be in the hospital by 7.15 am. Yup, its very tiring, but sooner or later i'll adjust to it.
yesterday evening i spent my time in the labour room at the hospital and upon arriving i was fortunate to see a patient giving birth. Its amazing to see a woman's vagina dilating just to accomodate a baby's head. and when the head finally came through, i was so worried that the vagina might tear. sometimes if the vagina doesn't dilate enough, they cut it to make the birthing process easier. I keep telling myself again and again that i don't want to have a baby. Watching a woman give birth makes me feel sick. i can't imagine myself going through such pain. After the baby came out, the placenta came out next. the nurse had to pull out the placenta bit by bit. I was excited because it was the first ever placenta that i saw. I wanted to touch it but the nurse asked me to help her with something else. the part where they had to sew up the patient's vagina after the whole ordeal was the worst. i know the pain that they feel is considerably less than during the birthing process, but still, its a needle that's going into your flesh. Worse still, i can't imagine myself giving birth to babies and doing episiotomies on patients, without anaesthesia. I have ruled out specialising in obs and gynae. Let the men handle it.
Speaking of men, yesterday a first time mother requested that her husband be by her side when she gave birth, and he didn't dare to go into the labour room! I mean, come on, you made her pregnant in the first place,can't you at least have some guts to be with her? After all,she's the one who has to suffer, not you. I tell you, if the next time my husband does that, i swear i'll go out of the labour room and "ketuk' his head. sorry guys, but all you have had to do is to donate you sperm, and there's an endless supply of where that comes from. I wished god made both men and women able to give birth. I'm really thinking of having a c-section, but it takes a longer time to heal. and i can only have a max of 2-3 kids. Gee, i don't know.
Tomorrow i'll be on call again for the whole day. the next week will be hell for me because i have to interview my patients before the lecturer arrives in the morning. so every night i'll have to be at the hospital. In the mornings i have to be in the hospital by 7.15 am. Yup, its very tiring, but sooner or later i'll adjust to it.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Obs and gynae
well,its 3 days since i've been posted to the obstetrics ward. And in a space of 3 days i've been called 'depressed' and 'lonely' by my lecturer. he's just joking of course, but its funny that i have 2 names already. i sound like a mental person don't i?
Its no secret that this posting is the busiest of all. we're supposed to know all the patients and do a lot of other clinical things besides, like doing a vaginal examination, go to the labour room and operation theatre and learn how to do a proper abdominal palpation. i always hate it during the first week of a new posting cos i have to adjust myself all over again. but i'm beginning to enjoy myself. i havent had the time to properly study yet. if you ask me about the theoretical part of obs, chances are i can't awnser you most of the time. since it is my clinical years, i would like to focus on how to be able to pick up the signs. but yeah, i know i should know a lot of stuff. sometimes i wished people don't expect to know everthing about medicine. i'm average, or maybe a little less, compared to others. true, i'm supposed to know broadly about a lot of topics, but i may not know in detail about every single little thing in medicine. i just don't have the time to read so much. even the lecturers hate to see students in the library all the time. it is true that we can learn so much from patients.
i didn't sleep so well for the first two days. i had to prepare a seminar on cardiotocography, something i'm ABSOLUTELY blank about. i had to go to the ward at night to look at the cases, then take the pictures with my camera, then prepare slides for it. i got slaughtered, but at least i did my work.
What i love about this posting is listening to fetal heart sounds, and palpating for the fetus. I feel happy whenever i can hear the fetus's heart rate, its like being given insight in to a new life, and knowing that its healthy and coming into this world.
I don't feel like getting pregnant next time (although i know this will change). the thought of my vagina strectching and the possibiliy of tears around the perineum, coupled with the labour pains makes me feel sick. If i had a choice, i'm going to go for a C-section.
I watched the devil wears prada. the clothes that anne hathaway wears are simply gorgeous. and so are the lead actors in the movie. I am completely in love with simon baker's character. Hey, i wouldn't mind a guy like that sweeping me off my feet, if only once in a lifetime! i also did some hard core shopping over the weekend, and bought myself 3 pairs of shoes. I got two sandals from vincci for 46 bucks. Not bad eh? i wanted to get some wedges, but it was too expenxive,plus my feet might be in agonising pain.
tonight i'm on call again. I want to finish clarking cases before tomorrow's presentation.
Its no secret that this posting is the busiest of all. we're supposed to know all the patients and do a lot of other clinical things besides, like doing a vaginal examination, go to the labour room and operation theatre and learn how to do a proper abdominal palpation. i always hate it during the first week of a new posting cos i have to adjust myself all over again. but i'm beginning to enjoy myself. i havent had the time to properly study yet. if you ask me about the theoretical part of obs, chances are i can't awnser you most of the time. since it is my clinical years, i would like to focus on how to be able to pick up the signs. but yeah, i know i should know a lot of stuff. sometimes i wished people don't expect to know everthing about medicine. i'm average, or maybe a little less, compared to others. true, i'm supposed to know broadly about a lot of topics, but i may not know in detail about every single little thing in medicine. i just don't have the time to read so much. even the lecturers hate to see students in the library all the time. it is true that we can learn so much from patients.
i didn't sleep so well for the first two days. i had to prepare a seminar on cardiotocography, something i'm ABSOLUTELY blank about. i had to go to the ward at night to look at the cases, then take the pictures with my camera, then prepare slides for it. i got slaughtered, but at least i did my work.
What i love about this posting is listening to fetal heart sounds, and palpating for the fetus. I feel happy whenever i can hear the fetus's heart rate, its like being given insight in to a new life, and knowing that its healthy and coming into this world.
I don't feel like getting pregnant next time (although i know this will change). the thought of my vagina strectching and the possibiliy of tears around the perineum, coupled with the labour pains makes me feel sick. If i had a choice, i'm going to go for a C-section.
I watched the devil wears prada. the clothes that anne hathaway wears are simply gorgeous. and so are the lead actors in the movie. I am completely in love with simon baker's character. Hey, i wouldn't mind a guy like that sweeping me off my feet, if only once in a lifetime! i also did some hard core shopping over the weekend, and bought myself 3 pairs of shoes. I got two sandals from vincci for 46 bucks. Not bad eh? i wanted to get some wedges, but it was too expenxive,plus my feet might be in agonising pain.
tonight i'm on call again. I want to finish clarking cases before tomorrow's presentation.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
bye-bye paeds
i had my exam this morning, and after all the studying, fretting and worrying i found out i was to clark a patient who was a newly diagnosed diabetic. i am happy that i got this case, but at the same time i wished i had the commoner cases seen in the ward aka acute bronciolitis, viral pneumonia, simple febrile fits. thank god i didn't get the more challenging cases. i would have died on the spot. i had to present to my examiner for 20 minutes. it was ok, i was nervous but i did not melt into a puddle on the floor. the worst moments were when i had to do a COMPLETE physical examination in 30 minutes flat. i was really sweating cos the cns and musculoskeletal examinations took 20 minutes alone. the remainding time i had to space out between the other 3 systems. Thank god again my patient was very accomodating and took it as some sort of game. now that its over i'm having post exam symptoms like headache, coryza and general lethargy. and i still have 2 more case reports and 2 more case summaries to write. i can't wait to go back to kl this friday and see my mum. i want to go out with her and let her spend all her hard earned cash on me :) i will be celebrating the end of exams by gorging on food. everyone's losing weight except me.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
paeds final week
it will be the 5th week of paeds, and how do i feel? sad that i'm going to leave this posting actually. when i first started out, i hated it because i couldn't stand the crying children and the difficulty in getting them to cooperate doing a phys exa. however as the weeks went by, i learnt how to be friendly with children and get them into letting me examine them. i have not gone back to kl for a month and during my 3rd week i missed my mom so much. the whole family visited me yesterday and i had a good lunch outing with them. my bro also bought me 1 big box of orange flavored chocs from langkawi. the next time he's flying down i want him to buy more biscuits for me. i can't help being a pig when it comes to food.
exam will be next thursday and i hope that i have sufficient brain memory to remember my stuff. this weekend i wanna shop for shoes. i hear there's raya sales everywhere. Shoes, shoes, i can't live without at least 5 different pairs. my ultimate purchase would be knee length black boots which i would wear with a skirt. i know i would look crazy if i were to wear it in kl. maybe i'll buy it before going somewhere for a holiday.
ramadan has started last week,and there's this ramadan bazaar just outside of my house. so far the food there is limited in choice but oklah. i would like to go to the bazaar at Ampangan. my classmate tells me they sell creme caramel for rm1.mmmm...
i also finally got net connection at my place, and i've been busy downloading tons of songs from the net. originally im supposed to be a good girl and use the net for research but i end up doing dumb stuff. the last frivolous thing i did was to check what aura i emit. it was a yellow. i don't know why i am so into this stuff like astrology, numerology etc. it just fascinates me. even though i know it can be crap and untrue,but sometimes i feel like at least 40% of what they say about me sounds true.
i plan to watch the Banquet starring zhang ziyi. its been a long time since i've watched a movie.
exam will be next thursday and i hope that i have sufficient brain memory to remember my stuff. this weekend i wanna shop for shoes. i hear there's raya sales everywhere. Shoes, shoes, i can't live without at least 5 different pairs. my ultimate purchase would be knee length black boots which i would wear with a skirt. i know i would look crazy if i were to wear it in kl. maybe i'll buy it before going somewhere for a holiday.
ramadan has started last week,and there's this ramadan bazaar just outside of my house. so far the food there is limited in choice but oklah. i would like to go to the bazaar at Ampangan. my classmate tells me they sell creme caramel for rm1.mmmm...
i also finally got net connection at my place, and i've been busy downloading tons of songs from the net. originally im supposed to be a good girl and use the net for research but i end up doing dumb stuff. the last frivolous thing i did was to check what aura i emit. it was a yellow. i don't know why i am so into this stuff like astrology, numerology etc. it just fascinates me. even though i know it can be crap and untrue,but sometimes i feel like at least 40% of what they say about me sounds true.
i plan to watch the Banquet starring zhang ziyi. its been a long time since i've watched a movie.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Karma
last week i had a kindof deep conversation with a friend. it was about how to ignore the people who seem to make her life hell. Im sure we all remember the times we were in school and each of us were in our own little cliques. When i told her about life in my secondary school, she couldn't believe that there were so many different characters to be found just in one place. i told her then and there that the best place to send our daughters would be to a girls school because thats where they grow up fast and learn about other peoples's characters. to me, guys are more straightforward. you know what they really want to do according to their actions. but girls...are a bit more mysterious. if i were to equate girls with an animal, id have to say a cat. i don't know. there are so many different facets of a cat that seems to resemble a woman. Anyway, i've always been able to avoid direct catfights cos i either mind my own business/ i keep a low profile/ people do not want to mess with me. My ego sincerely hopes its the latter. i do feel sad for girls who have not matured and have not grown out of their secondary school days. i dont see the point of girls making fun of other girls and acting like they're the coolest people on the entire planet. I do believe that each of us should mature according to our time, and we should learn from our own mistakes. when i was in my early twenties, i did a lot of stupid things. but if i didnt do them and regretted my actions, i would have been doing it today. and that would be majorly embarassing.
I also believe god works in truly mysterious ways. Each of us here on earth has a specific mission to do, and no matter how we stray far away from our supposed path, he will always lead us back to it. And i believe that if we do want to be useful people on earth, if we are sincere and do ask god to let us be His instrument, he will awnser our prayer, but not in a way that we expect. And i'm sure i'm not the only one who has experienced this.
And finally, even though i am a christian, i fully believe in the laws of nature and Karma, whereby whatever you do will come back to you. I dunnolah, just that i got pissed of listening to my friend's story of how she got treated by people around her.
today i went to the paeds ward in PD. we clarked some cases and presented them to my lecturer. i am still having a problem in making up the differential diagnoses for the different cases. Paeds to me is not that hard to study. the hardest thing is to take an excellent history and to be superobservant. And its true that 80% of your provisional diagnoses comes from the history taking. Whatever it is, i'm NOT interested in becoming a paediatrician. i'll stick to my dermatology, thank you very much!
I also believe god works in truly mysterious ways. Each of us here on earth has a specific mission to do, and no matter how we stray far away from our supposed path, he will always lead us back to it. And i believe that if we do want to be useful people on earth, if we are sincere and do ask god to let us be His instrument, he will awnser our prayer, but not in a way that we expect. And i'm sure i'm not the only one who has experienced this.
And finally, even though i am a christian, i fully believe in the laws of nature and Karma, whereby whatever you do will come back to you. I dunnolah, just that i got pissed of listening to my friend's story of how she got treated by people around her.
today i went to the paeds ward in PD. we clarked some cases and presented them to my lecturer. i am still having a problem in making up the differential diagnoses for the different cases. Paeds to me is not that hard to study. the hardest thing is to take an excellent history and to be superobservant. And its true that 80% of your provisional diagnoses comes from the history taking. Whatever it is, i'm NOT interested in becoming a paediatrician. i'll stick to my dermatology, thank you very much!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Paeds
I am now in the tmnet office waiting for the queue. its fantastic that they have a free net browsing service (even though its only 15 minutes). Its been a week into paeds, and so far, i have no complaints. i still feel a bit lost though, as i haven't had any case presentations yet. I made a child cry today just by standing next to her bed. how bad is that? its fun, but i dont think i will specialise in it.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
on holiday
hmph... i have had a 1 month holiday and now i'm into the 3rd week. what have i been doing?
week 1 : clean house and do all sorts of nonsense.
install yahoo games into computer and play until eyes are tired.
i highly suggest Luxor. all you have to do is burst the colored balls. i'm now in level 8 and i can't get past it!!!
week 2: went for a holiday to South africa. Was there for a week, took thousands of photos and ate seafood the whole time. I'll blog about it next weeklah
week 3: start a little bit of reading and have to complete research. i'm supposed to interview 120 subjects. Shuttling back between kl and seremban is tiring.
week 4 : have to move house to my new place which is just 5 minutes away. i dread moving stuff, especially my books.
IN the meantime, i have finished reading Stephen King's the Cell. its a great book about zombies. Anyone who has a fetish for zombies like me should check it out. I actually have no idea why i'm in love with zombies?!
Am now reading another book Wicked witch of the West. Its supposedly an adult version of the story. And i'm trying to finish The Mysterious Island by Jules Verne.
i've also tidied up my blog cos its so outdated. For those who used to use unkymood smilies, its back and you have to search under the title Punkymoods.
I also watched Siti's wedding last monday but fell asleep just as Dato' K was about to say his wedding vows. I woke up just in time to see end of the majlis. Both my mum and i think her makeup was superb. And check out her HUGE diamond 'merisik' ring. That's really BLING.
week 1 : clean house and do all sorts of nonsense.
install yahoo games into computer and play until eyes are tired.
i highly suggest Luxor. all you have to do is burst the colored balls. i'm now in level 8 and i can't get past it!!!
week 2: went for a holiday to South africa. Was there for a week, took thousands of photos and ate seafood the whole time. I'll blog about it next weeklah
week 3: start a little bit of reading and have to complete research. i'm supposed to interview 120 subjects. Shuttling back between kl and seremban is tiring.
week 4 : have to move house to my new place which is just 5 minutes away. i dread moving stuff, especially my books.
IN the meantime, i have finished reading Stephen King's the Cell. its a great book about zombies. Anyone who has a fetish for zombies like me should check it out. I actually have no idea why i'm in love with zombies?!
Am now reading another book Wicked witch of the West. Its supposedly an adult version of the story. And i'm trying to finish The Mysterious Island by Jules Verne.
i've also tidied up my blog cos its so outdated. For those who used to use unkymood smilies, its back and you have to search under the title Punkymoods.
I also watched Siti's wedding last monday but fell asleep just as Dato' K was about to say his wedding vows. I woke up just in time to see end of the majlis. Both my mum and i think her makeup was superb. And check out her HUGE diamond 'merisik' ring. That's really BLING.
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