IDIOTA

back again

2010-07-03T19:00:00.000+08:00

Mobile Blogging from here.

Moving..

2009-06-04T05:48:00.003+08:00

Hey guys, its been a hectic week for me, with gawai and all (i actually had to be on call during 2nd day of gawai :( ) I didn't do anything for gawai, just went to kampung for dinner. Kampung is quiet these days cos all my cousins are not around. Everybody seems to be working in kl these days. Postcall day was good because my favourite registrar happened to be on call too. I am going off on a 4 day holiday to kl today, i really need the break because O n G is really hectic, and the oncalls are worse than paeds on call. i haven't lost any weight yet, because when i am stressed i tend to eat more.
Since i don't have much time to update my blog, i've logged on to twitter, in the hopes that i can be more 'rajin' to post up stuff. it will still be the same add: sarahsmalady.
Off for my spending spree holiday!!

Journey to Lundu

2009-04-08T07:50:00.008+08:00

Today is ash Wednesday, and i've got to bring my grandma to church. I'll be meeting up with a friend for lunch, and i don't know whether i should wear my new dress to go out.
Tomorrow i'm starting work again, and the agonizing 2 week tagging period is going to make me very tired. Below are some pics from my lundu trip.

This is Mt Singai, where the stations of the cross are held each year. I've never been there before

Along the way i had to overtake both this truck and another car, and i did it while i was climbing up a hill!! The perdana changes gears quite slowly so i had to accelerate hard. Pure fun

This is the turning fork road to Lundu town. Before the bridge was built, we had to come here by ferry. Sometimes it took 1 hour for our turn to get aboard the ferry.

Pandan Beach- Much cleaner and not so muddy as Pasir pandak. I incidentally met other relatives who came there earlier. If only i could have a beach house in the future...

I love driving especially with sceneries like this. If you were to ask me to choose between having a house on the mountains, or near the sea, i'd choose the former.

Boredom

2009-04-07T07:55:00.003+08:00

current favourite songs of mine:

Altimet- Chantek

Jason Mraz- Make it mine

Lady Gaga- Just Dance

Lalah Hathaway- Let go

Joss stone and smokey robinson- you're the one for me

My laptop died on me last week,and its damned frustrating that i can't upload new songs/videos or upload my fave programs to my ipod. I think if it really can't be fixed i'll try to ask my dad if i can get a new laptop, i can't survive with the old pc at home!

A new posting

2009-04-06T07:53:00.002+08:00

I've officially ended my paediatrics posting last saturday, going out on a bang with my last oncall (which also happened to be the 2nd busiest night of all). I'm glad that i went through my first posting without any problems, but also sad because i'm leaving my colleagues and MO's. YOu know, the first time i heard i was going to be in paeds, i felt like crying because everyone says paeds is bad, you;ll get extended bla bla but, i'm actually really sad to be leaving it. the MO's became nice to me from the 3rd month onwards, and the current housemans that are in paeds are really nice to work with. I'll be going to O n G next (they recently extended a houseman for 4 months) and i am more scared of this posting than i am with paeds. got some garang MO's there, and the fact that i have to be extremely vigilant with my CTGs and labour room hecticness.....thank god i'm still having my leave. i'll be startin fresh again this coming thursday (hate tagging ) and luckily for me i have another houseman from paeds there. I hate tagging alone.
Yesterday out of boredom, i went for a drive to Lundu with my family. I love going out for a drive, and i've been thinking of going for a drive to santubong, just for the heck of it. Lundu has a hospital, with only 2 MO's there. Don't think i want to work there, i prefer a hospital with more MO's. I finally went to Pandan beach, i've never been there my entire life. The beach is relatively clean, not much of human rubbish, mostly driftwood and coconuts. The sand is really sandy, not like the beaches you get in bako or pasir pandak, where its mixed with mud. The view is also amazing. it was high tide when i arrived at the beach and i didn't have time to bathe. the other reason was because there were sandflies at the beach and i hate getting bitten by one of those.
I went to watch Fast n Furious 4 yesterday, and its the same old stuff. Vin diesel still looks hot as ever :) My dad says Spring might have tgv sometime soon, so i don't know how the other 2 cinemas in kuching are gonna compete.

Show me the money

2009-02-01T20:54:00.003+08:00

Its been a month that i've been working in Nursery. It has also been a week since i've been the maternity houseman. That means i was covering the labour ward, OT and maternity wards. I x mind the first two, but i hate covering maternity. They refer all sorts of cases to me. The frequent ones are undescended testes and wide suture lines. I find it amusing that some of them can't palpate testes, and frankly i find it a waste of my time. As for wide suture lines, sometimes even i have a problem trying to differentiate between a normal skull and those with a real wide suture line. And being the maternity houseman can be very tiring. THere was one day when i had to attend to 8 OT cases, so i had to go back at 9pm that night. it is also hell when you are post call and you have to do your maternity rounds. i think i will miss the nusery after this, i have gotten used to the place, and will be sorry to leave the place.
I went on a shopping spree today after finally getting my pay for 2 months. The feeling of seeing so much cash in my bank account takes away most of the depression that i get during my work. i bought 2 trousers and a new blouse, since i am in the process of losing weight....and also lots of cereal for the mornings.
I finally went to try out the restaurant in town called Jambu. it serves western and tapas food. I loved the ambience of the place, its an old converted bungalow. its nice for couples to have dinner there. The food is ok, no different from any other place. it made me feel like i was somewhere overseas, like australia. the owner of the place is a new zealander who married a local. There is also a bar for those who need a drink.
I didn't do much for chinese new year, i had to work on that day, and my parents didn't do much of house visiting. I hate post CNY cos most babies get delivered, so we see a lot more babies with health problems. Hopefully this month there's not much of babies getting delivered.....
I also saw the prequel movie to Underworld...rhona mitra is so-so in her role, but i find the actor who played her lover quite hot,especially with that leather outfit :) otherwise i preferred the first underworld movie.

Its the end with a new beginning

2008-12-30T19:39:00.002+08:00

i can't believe its a day away from a new year. time flies so fast that you don't realize it. i am still pissed with my maxis-celcom transfer. its been 6 days and i havent been able to use my 012 at all. 6 days....that's a long time and i can imagine how many smses i have yet to answer. tomorrow i am ordering my brother to go to celcom to resolve the issue. i cant go out during lunch time,its too packed. i enjoyed my christmas eve dinner with my family, i hogged all the turkey bones as usual. I recieved a case of Benefit brushes, and a benefit eyecolor package from my mother. my brother gave me a self made calender. in it he put the ugliest pic of me that he could find, and the rest of the calender was full of pictures of himself looking his best. aisey....what to do,he made the calendar himself so i just have to accept. i went back to kpg the next day....and i recorded my nephew dancing like mad to 3 iban songs. He's a cute fella, he twists his body like a cacing when he dances, its entertaining to watch.
i had my first oncall on 26th.i had 6 cases, and i didn't sleep or eat dinner cos i was kinda slow, and too many blood investigations to do. i'm sure others would have had worse oncalls than me, and the next day after work i just crashed on the sofa sleeping like a dead log. its scary and exciting to be oncall. the only thing is to be kinda careful when to inform the mo about the cases. my mo for the night got kinda irritated by midnite, probably cos i was kinda slow in doing work and he was getting sleepy. i am dreading passive call in the nursery, that place is scary.
well, whatever it is, i am anticipating new years eve, and after that its just the monotonous everyday routine of waking up early and coming back from work. i have already sorta planned my dream vacation in two years time- christmas and new years in either US or Vancouver. i miss the cold and the snow and the real xmas feeling. so i told my bro that i would like to see snow again...and i am so going to work hard and save money for my snowy xmas.

Merry xmas- but i have to work

2008-12-23T19:51:00.003+08:00

Merry xmas to everyone and i hope you all are in good holiday spirits!! I just completed my 10 day tagging on sunday. my first oncall will be on the 26th, and boy am i scared and excited. The tagging period was very tough for me. i had about 3-4 hours sleep at night. i came to work at 5.30 am and leave at 11pm. its so tiring, and there were lots of new things that i had to adjust to. I also have to be super careful in what i do. Because the culture here is that when something goes wrong, the houseman will be the first to get the blame, and no one will cover for you. i am still slow in taking blood and doing ward rounds. but i am improving. i had a period of depression last saturday after i came back from work. i was so tired, and i x even feel happy having dinner with my family. i felt like crying and quitting my job. Luckily my other friends who started the same time as me felt the same way too. i get to go back around 5.30 everyday, which is a good thing. i don't know how i am going to survive my oncall, i just know that i need lots of coffee with me to stay awake.
I do love my job. every morning i almost always have this fresh enthusiasm to start work. Alas throughout the end of the day my mood gets spoiled one way or another. its also kind of irritating sometimes when everyone asks you a question and you are expected to know the answer, from the nurses to the patients. Paeds in kuching is okay, initially i thought it would be very bad, but so far i have adjusted to it. The cases here are less varied than what i see in seremban, but that's ok. the good thing about the wards here are that they have air-con, something which a lot of the adult wards x have. I also sleep pretty early nowadays. i tend to crash on my bed by 10pm. i have to wake up about 4.30am just to get ready to reach the hospital by 6 am. Now i know why my seniors discourage us to take up medicine. it looks and sounds glamorous, but there is SO much hard work to be done. its fine with me that you want to study medicine for whatever reason, but be prepared to be xtremely overworked for the next two years.
For xmas, most of my relatives will be coming back to celebrate it. my dad is in charge of everything, as i usually am too tired in the evenings to do anything. This year, however i x feel the joyous spirit as i was too depressed from working nonstop. Perhaps next year would be a better year for me. Have a nice and happy holiday, god bless!

starting work

2008-12-11T18:08:00.003+08:00

I went to register myself as a government worker this tuesday. it was scary and exciting at the same time as there were about 20 of us in the room. Most were grads from russia and ukraine, a few were from uk, and 4 of us from imu. After those who were supposed to be working in sibu left to catch their plane, it was 10 of us housemans' who were going to work in kuching. We seemed to get along together, and the grads from russia and ukraine are friendly and nice. The first day was just filling up loads and loads of forms, and it took us the whole day. Then i had to rush to open up my EPF account and register myself as a new tax payee (boo!!!!). These past two days sees our group getting acquainted with the lab and the hospital. I have been posted to the paediatrics ward, and i've just gotten my HO logbook today. My god, the procedures that i MUST perform seem scary, cos i've never done them during my paeds posting. Lumbar puncture, suprapubic aspiration, umbilical vein catheterization.....i think i'll be ok in a few weeks more. Tomorrow i start tagging in the wards. Work time is from 7am til 11pm. so, i'll be housebound in the wards for the next two weeks. I went out this evening and had some fattening fast food and bought some chocs. Goodbye world. Hello sleepless nights.
I can't wait for christmas though, because its the only time of the year where i really feel like there's something worth celebrating. I have not celebrated gawai in over 5 years, so the feeling is not there. The Spring has some nice xmas trees, riverside is devoid of any. I love seeing the gifts that the body shop has to offer, it looks nice. I'm just glad i did my xmas shopping in kl, cos there are more gift packages and better offers. This will be my last post in the next two weeks. I expect myself to be like the poor guy above, starting from tomorrow nite :(

A piece of my heart

2008-12-06T21:20:00.004+08:00

I just came back from my induction and btn today. The picture above was taken at cherating beach where we had the induction. Most of my classmates were there.

1. Induction
the induction was held at a sortof apartment hotel next to the beach. i brought my swimsuit and goggles just in case i felt like swimming. Couldn't, cos it was the monsoon season, and the swimming pool was inappropriately located. Its a boring two weeks with a very tough (and unfair!) exam at the end. the good thing is, i got to see my classmates again with all the dramas that follow them. If someone were to say that IMU C1/06 students are crazy-happy, i couldn't agree more. I have to admit that i am also crazy (in a fun way) at times. i also have to conclude that each of my batchmates have a unique personality, which makes our batch one of the most liked by our lecturers. we also had a medical officer and a med grad from pakistan joining us
the lectures were nonstop from 9am till 11pm. and the lectures were so dry that most of us fell asleep after listening for 1 hour. the only interesting and important topics were about allowances, cuti and kenaikan gaji. So i threw the rest of the file away, and pray to god that i x have to go for induction for another time.
i also managed to see a bit of Kemaman, Terengganu as its just 15 mins drive away from cherating. The keropok lekor here is soooo nice compared to the dry hard ones in kl. i bought about rm5, and can actually finish it by myself. i also went to the most famous coffee shop there and had to agree that the coffee was indeed nice. I thought the spaghetti with asian fusion was weird though....they put sardines in it.
I hated going for senaman pagi for two weeks. i usually slept late about 1pm, and sometimes even 4 am cos i had a cold and was coughing nonstop all night. I had to wake up at 6 am in the morning to get ready. And if i x come, i'll get aXed by the timbalan penghulu. its as if i was back in tadika or something. i did jog at the beach once, and its so nice to feel the sea breeze when you're running. The waves here are fantastic, and it rains on most evenings. The breakfast prepared by the hotel sucks big time, but their tea breaks are fantastic. The government spends a lot of money fattening us up. They give us 6 meals per day, the last being supper at 11.15 pm. Another thing, the coffee at the hotel tastes like tea, and tea here tastes like condensed milk.
We also had to do public speaking for 3 mins during the second week. The most touching story i heard was jenson's, cos i x know how hard his life was. After that, most ppl including me had a newfound respect for him. To be honest, its not easy being him, cos he's bullied almost everyday and he takes it all instride. I remember him during the semester 3 imu cup when his shoe flew off while he was running and the other guys stripping him down. That was really funny. He has now turned out to be one of our most liked batchmates. The exams, like i said are tough. cos the items that we have to read is like 1 big file, in just a few nights. essays and mcq's. the final day we had a sukaneka, and it was the first time i had to build a sandcastle! Pathetic, but yes, that's me. To see the sandcastles, go to facebook and click on Joy's page cos he was the official photogarapher. I'm just proud to say my castle came complete with a defense tower and crocodiles in the moat!!! At night we had a farewall dinner, and each group had to do a dance or song. My group had to do a belly dance, which was embarassing. It was a fun night for all of us, and i coughed the whole night away cos i was so tired.

2. BTN
We had to go for this gov course on the same day we checked out of induction. The journey was 3 hours cos it was in kuala lipis, hometown of siti nurhaliza. This course was for 5 days and we had to wear black and white only. Thanks to a friend of mine who went a few years ago, i was able to borrow her baju kurung. The bathroom was like a communal bath, and because i x want the other girls to see my body fats, i opted to bathe in the toilets that have a pail. its not so torturous as induction, and its slightly more interesting, like relearning high school history. They continued to overfeed us here, and the way we eat was like in military, according to groups. it did make those in the group closer to each other. Otherwise, it still was boring. My personal achievement was completing the 2km run in 17 mins as i was still coughing like hell. ANd there were 4 hills to go through. I never thought i could run for most of the course, as in the gym i could only stand running on the treadmill for 10mins. However, the next day both my knees were in pain, presumably from not doing enough stretching exercises and also the shock my body experienced from running so far so suddenly. The food here is not as nice as the hotel, but the tea and coffee is. the organisers even did repelling for us, and it is really scary to be at the top of a 40 foot building with your butt hanging in the air. We slept in a dorm, and that was really fun, cos you could chat with everyone at the same time. Sleeping and waking times were the same as during induction. I was even given a new nickname- bobohizan, for my ability to cause rain during the last day of repelling (i x want to do it cos my knees hurt). So the name sticks with me...and its not bad a nickname as the other i got from other friends. There was also another girl with special powers, she was aptly nicknamed ' kuasa mistik' . i x join jungle trekking on the last day as the bus back to kl left early. I hugged a lot of friends, and nearly felt tears at one point. I dreaded the last day because after that it will be extremely hard to see each other again. so this is what i think of batch C1/06:

All of us have our own unique personalities. Sometimes it may be hard for us to get along with each other. But at the end of the day, our batch is very united, and we all support each other in whatever way we can. It seems nothing can break up our togetherness. For that, i am extremely grateful, and happy that i got to know each and every one of you during the last 2 and a half years we studied together. Memories of our batch occupies 10% of my heart.
A lecturer in UM once told me that we should love ourselves 60%, and other people 40%. 10% out of 40% is big a space in my heart for me.
Thank you C1/06 for all the fun times, the good and the bad we shared together. I will always remember all of you.

Induksi/BTN

2008-11-10T18:45:00.002+08:00

Its been confirmed...i will go for my induction on 17th nov. after that it'll be btn for one week, and i think i should start work on 8th december. What's more interesting is that the letter saying i need to go for induction will only arrive 2 days after this post is up. i also have to pay my own airline ticket to kl. What to do, gov is broke alredi. Of course its unfair i have to pay the ticket. even low cost airline also not so cheap once you buy late. And how to buy early cos the ppl doing induction can't really confirm the date?
I checked both the websites, and check this out....i have to get white long sleeve shirts for induction, and i need to wear long sleeve shirt when i exercise. the attire is appropriate for muslims, but can i just stick to above elbow shirts? my arms are short so there's nothing much to admire. ANother thing i'm dreading is that there is an endurance test and fitness run for btn. I HATE jogging, even though i know its good for me. i think i am going to die during the final week.

Brain-washing

2008-11-01T09:38:00.011+08:00

In about 2 weeks time, i am going to go for my government induction. The course is about 3 weeks and will be held at a soon to be known location (they haven't sent the letter yet). the function of this course is to teach us how to become responsible government servants. this includes lectures until midnight, and some crap like jungle trekking, or team building. my sentiments about the induction is as the current title. but i do have to pass it before i can start work. the only good thing is that i can see my good friends. honestly, i wished they would just tell us instead about the important things, and skip out things which we already know, like work ethics. its one thing to know, its another thing to do it. and most people don't do what they preach.
I've also had to look at my books again in anticipation or working. Its scary to think of doing morning rounds, getting grilled by the specialists in front of everyone and getting scolded for a lot of things. I love my (future) job, and i wouldn't want to do anything else in the world. Unfortunately, that involves me getting a very thick skin.
I've also been doing a lot of house cleaning this week, and i'm glad my house isn't such a mess anymore. I've also been doing lots of driving. To my dismay, i find that kuching drivers are just as bad as kl drivers. the only difference is that we are more patient, and we rarely blare the horn. Take yesterday, for example. i was in the slow lane behind a proton saga car, and we were on the way uphill to sarawak club. That car suddenly stopped at the turning to the club, without any signal. A motorcyle nearly rammed behind the car. it stopped there for 30 seconds, and i didn't know what the driver was thinking. There were lots of cars behind me. Finally the idiotic driver turned into the club. If i were bitchy i would've just blasted the car horn at the driver. but being a slow and patient kuchingite, i decided to let it go. i turn into the right lane as i was too close to the car, and i was unable to reverse back. That's the worst scenario i faced. Kuchingites love to show their signals at the VERY last minute they're about to turn into a lane. Like one of my friends commented "They are really stingy with signals". Another time i came back from my aunt's house in Semariang, and i was on the left lane. i had to suddenly brake because just ahead of me there was a group of men arguing and i saw a motorcycle that looked completely destroyed. My dad commented that it could have started from an accident...with both parties calling their friends for help, and escalating into a huge row. I am afraid of motorcyclists, especially if they are males, so i let them go first at the traffic light. Sometimes, the drivers here are so bad, you literally feel like bashing their heads with the car lock. Like yesterday, the number of cars i spotted which were illegally on the wrong lane were about 5. That's a lot of a town like this.
I've seen the movie Tropic Thunder, and it was so-so for me. I liked Robert Downey Jr's role, he was quite funny. I can't wait for the bond movie to show on the big screen. I am avoiding Max Payne, because the movie reviews were just so bad.

There's 1 song i like by our local artist Melissa Indot. Its called starlight, and its such a joy to listen to this song on a sunny morning:

this second song is called chantek, by altimate. pretty sweet song.
I like the song Selalu Denganmu, originally performed by Tompi. it has also been sang by Atilia (whom i really like). I love jazz, and i've tried finding for Atilia's album in kuching, but no success yet. i wanted to load the videos from youtube to this post, but for some reason there's always a problem when i cut and paste the code. so you guys have to go there yourself la...

Langkawi and Kedah revisited

2008-10-14T07:48:00.002+08:00

Last week i went for my brother's graduation in langkawi with my whole family. We stopped at kedah first as my grandma had never seen the place. Travelling via the LCCT was hell as it was just after the hari raya hols, and many people were still going back to their respective homes. We had to wait for half an hour for the luggage, the conveyor belt was short and people were just pushing each other to get their luggage. Then, while waiting for the taxi some rude middle aged man decides that he can cut other people in the queue just to be first. Why can't the taxi operators let people line up for their turn just like in KLIA?? Nobody dares to cut the line there. Worst of all, that idiot has a smirk on his face as he went off first. Just makes me feel like scraping his face against the tar road so his skin will abrase and peel off. I swear, only at LCCT can you see malaysians at their very best- being kiasu. Like yesterday, when we were ordering food at asian fusion, some guy decides to cut in front of the person standing at the paying counter. I mean, if you are so worried that you will miss the flight, don't eat then!! Go to McD's and order takeaway, or eat some sandwich at the departure lounge. Asian fusion also has the highest number of flies within the LCCT. I am hoping the flies are around because of the kelapa sawit plantations. Some of flies were also present in my aircraft yesterday, literally flying with us to its new home, kuching. God, i hope LCCT can be refurbished for the better. Just because we are flying cheap, doesn't mean that we should expect bad services at the LCCT too.

In Alor setar we visited a number of places. The first was Dr M's house, which was maintained in its original state. I find him a very intelligent man. On the walls of his house were articles that he had written when he was young under his psudonym Che' Det. The topics ranged from Malay culture to politics. It also chronicled his life story until today. I think no matter what one thinks of him, i will still say he was one of the best things that UMNO, and our country could have (despite any mistakes he might have done). We visited the padi museum, gunung keriang (for its crystals) and also pekan rabu, where they sell traditional malay food. The city is very laid back, and its people are generally nice. I just hate having to wear jeans all the time because i like wearing shorts when i go out. Since Kedah is PAS-led, i had no choice but to wear jeans. In kuching, i can go apek-style anytime i want to. yesterday morning on the way to the airport, i managed to see the sunrise. it was very beautiful, especially as the image was mirrorred by the paddy fields. It was the sort of sunrise that made me feel like everything was ok in my world, and it was a fresh start to life.

In Langkawi, we didnt' do much . we went up the cable cars to some gunung. it wasn't high, about 700 m above sea level. The cable lines ARE as steep as they proclaim, and during the ride in the car i keep thinking about what would happen if the line suddenly snapped and i fall to the forest....Unfortunately the hanging bridge was closed for repairs. The view of langkawi and its islands were beautiful, we could even see thailand's islands to the north. we took pics of the sunset at Tanjung Rhu (which were very beautiful) and had lots of seafood during our 4 day stay there. Langkawi was unbearably hot as the monsoon season was over. My parents did a lot of crockery shopping. I went crazy over durian chocolates and Jules Decortes biscuits. My grandma, not surprisingly, bought a ton of minyak gamat. Last saturday, all of us came to see my brother get his wings. There were only 24 of them, and all were male. The juniors came to fill in the attendance, and i only saw 2 female pilot trainees among them. As in every sort of graduations, you have the excellent, the average and the bad. One student who graduated couldn't even read a map, and i'm not kidding you. Makes you want to pray for a capable pilot the next time you're in an aircraft. But hey, he's the only one. the rest are average students. Now these new pilots should start to train for their conversion to larger aircraft in november in kl.

Kuching stagnation

2008-09-25T15:49:00.002+08:00

Hello....its been a month since i wrote something. I'm currently vegetating at my house, doing nothing but playing my computer games, eating and sleeping. and swimming, getting tanned like a lobster and driving. Yes, i am relearning my driving skills. This is currently my 2nd week into my driving lessons. I am being taught by a guy who's about my age,and who has a liking for long fingernails (aka Phua chu kang). He's a nice guy though. He asked me to start driving around town on the 2nd day itself. so far, driving around is not a problem for me. the only thing is when i am at the traffic light i tend to release the clutch too early, hence the car just goes dead in the middle of the road. Another thing is roundabouts. Kuching still has a lot of roundabouts, and the one at Padungan is especially tricky to negotiate. I won't be surprised if mr instructor gets a mini heart attack one day. Yesterday i learned how to park. I hate reverse parking. especially the one where i have to adjust the car so its equally balanced on both sides. I haven't done side parking yet, and tomorrow i have a 2 hour lesson.
Last week a couple of friends came to kuching for a holiday. On the first day itself, we went dolphin watching at the mouth of the Sarawak River. we had to kayak and it was my first time. It was a good experience....and that's where i got my legs fried. we were in the sun from 9am til 2pm. Then we had a swim at the beach (pasir pandak) where one of my friends got attacked by jumping prawns...yea for real. Thinking about the Attack of the Prawn episode never fails to make me laugh. Second day we went to Bako national Park. We were dropped off at one of the beaches. The beaches at Bako are SUPERB. They are not the muddy beaches that you normally get around kuching area, and they sea is crystal clear there. The trails are good, and i got a workout in the jungle. i also managed to catch glimpses of the proboscis monkeys. They are shy creatures. Everytime we got close to them, they backed away. Its just like watching Nat Geo live. The park facilities have been upgraded, and there are less bearded pigs and macaques at the headquarters (yay!!).
Third day we went to Semenggoh to see the orang utans feeding. That was good in itself. I also brought them to see Damai Beach (i miss it a lot). We also went to the museums around kuching city.
I've also been swimming almost daily at Sarawak Club. The pool waters are just nice, not icy cold like at vista. I've been trying to redo my freestyle strokes as i usually swim using the breast stroke.
I've got my offer letter to work with the government, and i should be working in November itself. Its scary, working for the first time, especially if one is a houseman. Sigh....i'm going to enjoy myself while i can. By the way, i've added a new site about my travelling experiences. its labelled MyTrips, under the heading other blogs.

Holiday mode

2008-09-07T01:10:00.003+08:00

Hey guys, i finally found time to write a bit after going off for so long. I had my graduation on august 23rd (finally), i went off for a short trip to bali, went to kedah to help my mom move there, went to langkawi for a night's trip to see my brother, going back to kl tomorrow, and coming back to kuching on this tuesday.
My bali trip was GOOD. Hectic, but good. i was there for 5 days, and there was so much to see and do. stayed at a hotel right in front of kuta beach. Won't talk much about it cos i plan to set up postings dedicated for my trips.
I had a hell of a workout cleaning up and arranging my mom's new place in kedah. it was tiring, and i had diarrhea from my bali trip. but that did not stop me from enjoying kedah food. its true, the further up north of malaysia one goes, the more tastier food is. I also had a blast in langkawi buying loadsa stuff, got myself a new sunglass and plenty of cosmetics...heehee! I also bought quite a few pc games and anime for my relaxing pleasure. My brain has also been 'dumbed' by watching movies on cinemax and star movies. i dont even remember what the titles were. I feel so bad because i haven't had the time to meet up with all my old friends. i promised them i would meet them in kl after i graduated, and i just don't have the time to do so. After coming back to kl tmr, i have to clean the place also and pack up all my things to be sent back to kch. hectic and busy.
I'm currently reading a book called 'rich dad, poor dad'. since i'm going to start working soon, i figured i need to invest all my hard earned cash in the right places. my short term target after 2 years of housemanship will be to go on a trip to vancouver and alaska. Since the ringgit's value is set to drop even further, i have to really be prudent in my spendings. What i can't wait to have once i start working though, is my very first credit card!!! I'll start with having one for the time being. The only thing is which credit card to have.
I plan to watch 'babylon ad' once i come back to kuching. there is no cinema in alor setar. i think my mom is going to be dead bored. I can't wait for my brother to graduate next month. I can't imagine him flying a plane. Its pretty unbelievable for me that my really young brother is about to be a pilot. Better yet, i can't wait to embarass him on his graduation day :P tomorrow i have a 6 hour trip by bus to kl, i hope puduraya will not be so crowded.

its all about phelps

2008-08-16T15:00:00.005+08:00

so its been one week into the olympics, and i am totally hooked on the games. i find handball, track n field, swimming and gymnastics to be totally addictive. i am also glad that chong wei made it to the finals for our country. its gonna be hard for him to beat li dan (?) but if he does, i salute him. i watched table tennis yesterday and it was a good game between korea and singapore. if i'm not mistaken the lions won.
Other highlights:
1. bball between china and usa
2. womens all round finals gymnastics
3. handball

And as usual, whenever swimming is on any of the olympic channels i have to watch. with a guy like phelps, i can't help it:

second to phelps in the hotness category is his teammate ryan lochte.

I also managed to see women's diving, and was really impressed with the chinese duo. our malaysian team managed 21st place overall, but its a shame we counldn't get through to the finals. Whatever it is, i'm hoping phelps gets his wish come true :)

My graduation is next week, and i've picked out the outfit to wear. I haven't bought the heels yet. i really want to go to isetan klcc, but my mum is just too busy cleaning up the office. i so love esprits new fashion range. i have given up wearing levi's jeans, though. their jeans seems to be smaller and smaller. its for girls who dont have hips :( i'm now converting to the padini and marks and spencer brand as its more comfortable. I also have to sort out the books that i plan to ship back to kuching. and i havent met up with any of my old school friends yet. i feel so guilty.

i have watched star wars: attack of the clone wars. its 3/5, its okay, but not much in the story line. to be honest, i;m just waiting for KOTOR the game series to come up with a new one, but they haven't done yet. i plan to watch death race starring jason statham next week. the plan is to enjoy myself to death before i start working, hehe. AND, i'm still in negotiations with my parents as to what car i will drive once i work.

Olympics

2008-08-11T21:39:00.003+08:00

Since the olympics started, i have been vegetating in front of the telly almost everyday. The opening ceremony was fantastic, but i slept throughout the procession. so boring.
I watched michael phelps blazed his way through the 400m medley. i so hope he gets his wish to get 8 gold medals. I also enjoyed the us vs china basketball game. Poor china was outclassed by the us. Those guys shoot perfect 3 pointers (thus getting past yao ming) and were too fast for the china players. still, i hope the finals would be between these two countries again.
I saw weightlifting today, where a 17 year old china boy created a world junior record (he was pretty cute too). Malaysia finished 9th. And last i heard, our archery team failed to win a medal.
I dont' get it. if countries like vietnam, thailand and indonesia can get medals during the olympics and not just from badminton, why can't we? i find it so frustrating to watch a malaysian athlete perform, waiting with anticipation that he/she might do well. instead, they are always at the middle or last of the standings. I wonder what's wrong with our sports system. the only thing we can always count on are badminton. I mean, there are countries that are poorer than us and they don't even have good training facilities, yet they can perform well. I find this so embarassing.

A chapter of my life has ended

2008-08-11T21:26:00.002+08:00

so.....it has been a month since i've blogged. i've finally passed the final exams and my graduation will be on august 23rd. its been an interesting 5 years for me. THis was the hardest of all the exams i had faced. I had to finish typing portfolios a week before the finals.. i had to move out of my rented house and bunk in my friends house for a week, and i had to study EVERYTHING in a short span of one week. it was just study, study and reading nonstop from morning til night. There were times when i just wanted to go and sleep at 10pm. But the thought of not reading a lot of stuff kept me going through.
We had to go back to seremban a day before the exam. On the way, my friend's car broke down along the highway. It was towed to the nearest toll plaza. We had to wait in the hot sun for two hours for her parents. And we tried to study a bit during those 2 hours. Believe me, i was cursing the heavens for all the bad luck i've encountered during my stay in BP. And to top it all off, there was bird shit that landed on my beloved oxford handbook while i was reaing, on the lung cancer page. I only felt slightly better after someone told me bird shit was considered to bring luck.
we set out from bp at 10am and arrived in seremban at 5pm. I took a break for an hour, then had to squeeze whatever info i x have into my mentally exhausted brain. i didn't even have time to read most of my portfolios. In the exam room, i had a case of AECOAD....which was my portfolio case...which i discussed rather deeply. Nice stroke of luck eh? And to top it all off, both the examiners for my long case and portfolio discussion were all my lecturers, no external examiners at all. You guys don't know how i felt after that. I was sooo relieved, and kinda happy that god still loves me after all.
I did my oath taking on friday, and managed to get a lot of pics with my lecturers and friends. I still x feel anything right now, it just feels that i am on another school holiday. but its great i passed, cos i am pretty old now and its time for me to start working. My parents were pretty nonchalant that i passed, but on the plus side i can ask them to buy some of the stuff that i want. I need a new wardrobe, new shoes, need to fix my ipod, need to read lots of novels, need to enjoy myself. Induction will probably be in october, so i might start working by November. God, that is another scary thought.

Raindrops

2008-07-09T08:12:00.002+08:00

Its 8am and i'm feeling half sleepy. It was raining from last night until now. Some people love rain, some just hate it. I'm in the former. There's something about rain that just mellows me. I love waking up to the sounds of rain, happy that i can curl up in bed and sleep til' it goes away. Rain also reminds me of Kuching, and my home. Kuching gets tons of rain yearly. I just love it when i see overcast clouds and cool weather upon my skin. And when it rains, sometimes i will just sit outside my house patio watching the rain and the wind that comes with it. Perfectly romantic, i tell ya :)

Morning Rain by Tu Fu

A slight rain comes, bathed in dawn light.
I hear it among treetop leaves before mist
Arrives. Soon it sprinkles the soil and,
Windblown, follows clouds away. Deepened

Colors grace thatch homes for a moment.
Flocks and herds of things wild glisten
Faintly. Then the scent of musk opens across
Half a mountain -- and lingers on past noon.

I've got 3 more weeks in BP. Time flies fast, doesn't it? If i do pass, i'll be back home,hopefully. Some ppl may be asking why i wanna work back in kch, and not in Semenanjung? The reasons are fairly simple. First, i am EXTREMELY close to my family, extended and all. That is where i belong, and i can't ever imagine being far away from them. Second, i really need emotional support when i start working. CAlling them whenever i feel down is not the same as seeing family members in front of me. I know i'm an adult, i should be independent, yadda yadda. But....i'd rather be with them and enjoy in the moments of NOW. Rather than me being far away and not being there when they are still around. Thirdly, both my parents and brother are not in kuching, and won't be for a few years. I"ve got the house and my grandma to take care of. Fourth, i LOVE kuching. IF there are 2/3 of rotten people at the workplace, its still better than working in Semenanjung with the same ratio of 2/3 of rotten people. At least i get my seafood, Pok Mee, Kolo Mee, Tomato Mee and Sarawak laksa while i'm working here.
I really need to do some intense workout ASSUMING i do pass. I still remember my graduation photo after finishing UM. My face looked so ROUND. I was thinking of swimming in the mornings, and going to gym in the afternoons. I would really like to have a good graduation photo of myself, i would like to avoid looking moon faced this time. BTW, i hate having a round face. if only i had an oval face.

Its a durian world

2008-06-29T10:54:00.002+08:00

The fruit season began a few weeks ago. Along the way to my house in BP, there are a few fruit stalls. Usually they sell the usual stuff like apples, melons, oranges (which i hate, except for the lokam). Then, i saw the durian, rambutan,longans. Its hard for me to resist all 3 so last friday, i persuaded my housemate to stop at one of the stall s. I will admit that i don't know at all how to choose good durians. Usually when i see my grandma, she'll first sniff it, then tap at it a bit, then finally looking at the stem of the fruit. if the stem is neatly cut, its too young. if it looks jagged, then u can usually confirm the fruit fell on its own. Me?? i just have to rely on the fact that the shopkeeper won't cheat me. I bought 3 durians for rm 35. 2 were kampung, 1 was kacukan. AND, its all good. I had a tub full of durians. I've been eating them for breakfast, and now, only a few are left. God, i can't live without durians. My mom thinks my craze for durians started when she was pregnant with me, and she was eating a LOT of durians that time. Hehe, i don't care if its true or not, i'm just glad i love it. A lot of my cousins, including my brother HATE the smell, and it'll be usually me,my cheese eating young girl cousin and the older family members enjoying durian. BUT the absolute nicest tasting durians for me are the wild durians. they are the hardest to come by. I can only remember eating them when i was really young. I haven't seen wild durians sold for ages. Perhaps when i come back home i'll try my luck. I also think kampung durians are so much better than the genetically modified ones.
Its about 5 weeks away and i'm still busy doing portfolios. Damn it, i hope i just pass the exams. i'll keep complaining about the exams until a week away.
I've watched Kungfu Panda, i give it 7/10. I've also watched the HULK, and it was so much better than the first one. Ed norton just sizzles as brucey. I also love the romantic scenes between him and liv. Watching this movie, i had pity for the hulk for the FIRST time. Usually i just see him as this anger losing green guy who uses it as an excuse to destroy things. and the ending.....can't wait for the sequel to happen (yum Tony STark!!).

KPG angkat is done and finished

2008-06-17T17:28:00.002+08:00

so last weekend i went to do some community project at a supposedly rural village. This was what i did:

1. Do health screenings for common health problems in the morning
2. Become a facilitator for some motivation course in the afternoon
3. Watch performances at night
4. Cook for the entire IMU population on sunday morning
5. Go back to civilisation on sunday afternoon

Problems i encountered

1. The need to go to toilet on Saturday morning

The bus had to leave IMOO at 6 am (we were told to be there sharp). I woke up at 4.30am just to make sure my bowels moved and were emptied by then. Problem was, bowels refused to wake up and only moved at 6 am. So poor me had to hold it all in until we reached the place. I only managed at 10 am that morning. For me, one of life's pure tortures is when i can do my business in the morning, cos then it'll be constantly at the back of my mind. its worse when you eat something spicy the night before. :(

2. No cellphone coverage. I know i don't have anyone to call (Boyfriendless and all) but still, it feels good to know you are connected to civilization. The kampung was only 30 mins from town, but no coverage!! How can!!! Even the jungles of Sarawak got cellphone coverage!!!!!!

3. Hot weather.
We were told to wear only black shirts. Which made sense cos we don't wanna stir up trouble wearing white or see through or skimpy bikinis. Heaven forbid us if we cause some villagers to have a stroke or heart attack. But its freakin'hot in Malaysia and my face was full of oil by afternoon. I use 3 oil blotters to clean my face.

4. Motivation course??
Yes, i was a facilitator, and i did get excited by the idea of counselling students about what their future options are like after secondary school. We ended up playing a lot (too many) games though. And i'm not really sure how the older school children felt about that. It was beneficial for the primary school kids though. Maybe they should have had separate programs for the older and younger kids.

5. Culture nite
Being the vain person that i am, i decided to wear this nice pink baju kurung of a friend of mine. This will probably the first and last time i'm gonna wear one, and the thought of looking nice while cam-whoring excited me. Alas, not many people chose to wear something fancy, so i really felt overdressed. Still, i do have good pics of myself :)

6. Cooking for the whole kampung
This was really tiring. I cleaned the chicken, chopped and hacked onions, long beans and had to fill the 'dulang' with food. It doesn't help that some people think that the food we cooked was disgusting, just because it was cooked in the kampung. There were not many people helping, and we were talking about cooking for 300 people. Still, the villagers really made yummy food.

What i loved:

1. My adopted family
THey were super nice. THe makcik who took us in gave us her own bedroom to sleep in. The only thing was there was this really big cockroach like insect which flew around the room. We had to ask the older brother to kill it for us. And they fed us nonstop with yummy kampung food. I have to give credit to the Malays in general, they are really hospitable and friendly people. Their hospitality knows no bounds. Imagine if you were to let people into your house, and not knowing how they feel about the whole thing. Kudos to all of them who volunteered to take us in. And for me, i got a few new recipes about cooking kampung food. YUMMY

2. Cultural nite
i did enjoy myself. WAthcing all the kampung people come, and all the karaoke songs (some good, some bad) and performances by our own students, i think it was a blast. Even some of our lecturers were enjoying themselves, letting loose of all that stress at work. I did a lot of cam-whoring. But by 11pm, i had to go back cos i was too sleepy.

3. Sukaneka

this is like a sports carnival, and all of us, lecturers included, let loose. there were a lot of funny events going on, but the thing is, everyone had fun. i missed the tarik tali event though. i would love to tarik tali, i've been doing it since i was in primary school and its so fun. its bad to lose of course, but the adrenaline is sky high. still, i did learn how to become a better cook that day :)

4. Good experience
We had to have this thing called 'makan dulang'where 4 people share one big tray of rice with assorted foods. its not for everyone though, and i understand. But dont'ever talk about going to experience life in rural africa, rural india or joinning doctors without borders if even the thought of sharing food with others makes u icky. i did feel icky myself, but after preparing the food myself and seeing how they eat (everyone takes a corner of the tray for themselves) its not that dirty. just have to lose that city life a bit. And i think this will be the first and last time that i think i will experience something like this. So, it was a good exposure for me to see how other people live.

PS, i took a lot of pictures, but am too lazy to post it in my blog. PIcs are either on my friendster or facebook. Lots of camwhoring by me and pals. :P

Friendships that last

2008-06-07T10:13:00.002+08:00

I decided to end my bimbotic ramblings for a while and talk about my friends. This was inspired by a few events that have happened this week. Nope, it does not involve IMOO people at all.
We all know that girls are from Venus, men are from Mars. And how girls and guys make friends and maintain their friendships are quite different. I prefer girl friends over guy friends, simply for the reason that i feel i can open up more to them. There are some guy friends that i am quite comfortable with, but its just not the same. This week, i felt pretty stressed out. Why, i don't know. See, when i don't have my usual outpourings to friends, i feel that things, or events that have happened get walled up and are threatening to burst out. But, who to trust in this small world? so, i do understand that for some people, blogging is a great way to speak out what you can't say to other people. of course, a little indiscretion is necessary if a lot of people are reading your blog.
Anyways, life here has been hectic. i have 8 weeks to exam, and i havent prepared at all. That keeps nagging me. Another thing is, with portfolios and the need to constantly remember things that have eluded me, is another drain. Not to mention my allergic rhinitic nose which makes me have a mini-flu everyday.
At 6 am yesterday, i was woken up by a friend who was afraid for me. She thought that some organization was out to get her, and told me that i could be the next target, as all her other friends have had their car scratched, broken into and things stolen from their houses. Then she tells me that i'm the only one she trusts as said organization is everywhere. And FINALLY, she said that she had a medical condition but didn't want to take her meds. Now, i was happily sleeping at the moment when she woke me up. i thought it would be just another one of her complaints where she was dissatisfied about life. Boy, she made me freaking scared yesterday,and as a result my mind was jumbled up the entire morning.
I should have asked her to continue taking her meds, but she has poor insight. The other thing is, she is currently disconnected from her family members. i don't know how she is going to cope. But i know that when i come back to kuching permanently, i have to sort her out. I just hope she will not be in denial by then.
So, yesterday, after feeling stressed out the entire week, i went online in the hope that some of my friends would be around. Turns out not 1, but a few of them were online, and i had the best time of my life yesterday evening.

Verdict: Its easy to make lots of friends, but true friends that stick around you for more than 10 years and who are loyal to boot, are damn hard to come by.

I think this post is a way of saying my thanks and gratitude to all my friends who have been in my life since primary school, and who stuck it with me thick and thin, who never fail to give me support and to make me laugh.

Pretty sappy eh? But when you've gone through and seen so much, its small things like these that make life bearable.

Movies...movies and Jolie

2008-05-31T09:49:00.006+08:00

the first movie that i will mildly review is Narnia 2: Caspian. i watched this with the squid about 2 weeks ago. the pace of the movie was good, there were not many boring scenes and there was 1 really hot guy to keep me entertained, aka Ben Bar-ness (that's how squid sez it). Apparently Ben Bar-ness was in a short-lived boyband before he had his hand in acting. what i find funny was that the Telmarines had this spanish accent. Just because all of the Telmarines had dark hair, they just HAD to have a spanish accent eh? How about Mexican? Another thing was that the fighting sequences of the movie were heavily borrowed from lord of the rings. They could have showed a bit of originality-lah. ANd there was a lot of reviews that there were too many christian related themes in the movie. Well, there are some slight references to christ, the obvious was when the older children couldn't see Aslan, and only Lucy did because she still believed in him. But thinking of Christ in the form of a very handsome lion, not bad i say. overall, i gave it 7/10 cos i did enjoy myself watching the movie. Oh yes, and Ben Bar-ness too

The other movie that i recently watched was 'The orphanage' in kluang parade, of all places. we were there for yet again another visit. but the hospital was having some accreditation thingy so we had about two hours to kill. FYI, the cinema in kluang was better than in bp. the one thing that amused me was the decor of the cinema. the overall color was red, with jukebox sort of lights as u enter the cinema itself. It really reminded me of some old school karaoke parlor. I bet my ass the interior designer who did the cinema was also the interior designer for karaoke parlors. I give the orphanage 6/10. the movie was scary, and the acting was good. what i didn't like was the ending. I guess everyone wants to be like M. Night Syamalan nowadays and give it a twist to the ending so everyone goes 'ooooooooh'. Well, i love my scary movies to be REALLY scary movies, like ppl getting killed by a ghost in the end, or the human actually surviving the ghost attack. there was one spooky character in the movie though, and he's called TOMAS.

EEK........if u EVER see this boy in ur house (or ur dreams) u know ur time is up.
I did want to watch this thai horror movie Long Khong. it was supposed to be shown on that day, but for some reason the cinema couldn't screen it. i LOVE thai horror movies, most of them are really good, and really spooky. Second would be indonesian, and third Korean. I've actually not watched korean and Jap horror movies for a long time because their ghosts are ALWAYs long haired women with no face that either crawl or slither towards you. Why can't they have other types of ghosts. Asia is just full of ghosts. take our country for example. i bet my ass there are about 100 different types of ghosts. be a little bit original lah.

and this is THE hottest angelina jolie pic i have seen:

Man, her face is so perfect. Sorry to say this, but jennifer aniston just doesn't stand a chance against her. She's smart, sexy, and dangerous to boot.

Lastly,i was watching Roll Bounce on Astro. it starred Mr. Mariah Carey (NIck CAnnon) and Bow wow. tHe movie was very funny. What i loved even more was the soundtrack, and in particular this song. I can just groove to this song the whole day. Seventies rock!!

Indy reviewed

2008-05-23T11:28:00.005+08:00

i had my cfcs viva yesterday. its basically me and my student partner helping to take care of a patients medical problems. it went well yesterday. 15 minutes passed by so fast. what was worse was that i scribbled on my report using blue and green marker pens, and i didn't know that i had to pass it back to IMOO again after i finished viva. so i had to tell the lecturers that i scribbled something....luckily they didn't mind at all. and because i had to wind down after a day of stress, i went to watch the latest indiana jones movie

i give the movie 7/10, ok but not good. the ending sucked for me. i thought with all his experience spielberg could have had a better ending for his movie. the good thing was, it brough back all my nostalgia for the earlier indie movies. i did remember watching all 3 movies while i was young. i think my favourite was raiders of the lost ark. i dont'remember how indie's father died though. another interesting thing they put in the movie was siafu ants. my friend was telling me no such ant exists on planet earth. i agree....no ant is crazy enough to eat a russian baddie...but i did remember a documentary about fire ants in africa exactly like the one in the movie. the ones in africa are welcomed by the Masai warriors of kenya because they help to eat all the crop pests. but woe behold anyone or anything that comes in their way. i do not like those ants. i don't mind the malaysian red n black ants, but not those crazy african ants.

uugh. i know its nature, but imagine what it can do to a human. this is also exactly why i do not go into the jungle. i really wonder how tribes living in the jungle can avoid these sort of ants, and they are partialy nude and barefoot.

and finally, here is dj Tiesto with Traffic:

This is one of the very few club songs that i like. the other is Moby's 'i love to dance' but i can't find a nice video for that song.

Flickr

2008-05-17T18:46:00.001+08:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

im back from kl

2008-05-14T18:31:00.008+08:00

there it is folks. i'm back in sleepy boring BP after 5 days in KL. i felt sooooo happy going back last friday. no ward rounds, no nothing to do. it took us 4 hours to go back to kl via the Yong Peng highway. We stopped at Ayer Keroh for a lunch break. That place is huuuuuge. The weekends was spent going to shopping malls, specifically midv. my mom just loves that place. Oh yeah, for mother's day, i just got here a few roses, since she likes that flower a lot. But,as i am going to work soon (hopefully) she has already started telling me what she WOULD like for next year's mother's day. A crystal tree. Costs about 400+. eh, its fine by me. i am thinking of getting a credit card once i start working. Not that i plan to max it out completely,its just for emergency purposes. There were no sales at all, i came to kl too soon. Sales will only start at the end of the month.
What i did do this weekend was to watch Iron Man.......starring the absolutely yummy Robert Downey Jr. He really suits the role, and i hope there will be a sequel to iron man. The movie has a good script, hot hero and some funny scenes in between.

Yes, folks. Robert Downey Jr can certainly rock my world anytime he wants to :)

I read that since the response to the movie was so good, they are thinking of making an iron man trilogy.

The next movie i'm planning to watch is Narnia's Prince Caspian. I just hope its slightly better than the second one.

I also went for some foot therapy last weekend. My mom and i tried some Fish spa, its those little fish that nibble on your dead skin cells on your foot. It cost us 38 dollars for half an hour. There are different levels of the fish spa. you progress from the little fish to the big fish, and there are a few pools for you to soak your foot in. My mom and i stuck to the little fish, because its VERY ticklish when they start chomping on your feet:

Picture 1: i'm just starting to put my feet in the pool
pic 2: fish start coming my way........
PIc 3: Attack of Dr fishies
Pic 4: More feet= less tickly feeling

I would still do the fish spa thing again,its fun and it really does make my feet look good. I also went for a facial, and it HURT LIKE HELL. The lady said there was so much gunk in my face. i swear that i'm getting more pimples in BP. Could be because its so hot here. ugh, i'm on holiday for 5 more days, and i have to finish most of my portfolios by next monday.

Birthdays to remember

2008-05-05T21:15:00.002+08:00

Yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to these people who are/have celebrated/r celebrating getting a year older...........

DIDA OFFICIALLY 27
BRAIN OFFICIALLY 27

PAPA OFFICIALLY 56 AND RETIRED

heh, i just thot of making it in capital letters to show how important they are. Dida dear, i AM going to see you next monday, so be prepared to sleep late. Brain.......come back to kuching next year!! i shall be home by then.

dad turns 56 today, and i just love it when i wish him happy birthday. he seems so happy that i remembered him getting a year older (actually i forgotlah.... but my mum called me just now to remind me). Do i love my dad? u bet i do. he's the only one that will spoil me to bits. my mum is strict on my shopping expenses, but dad?? he just buys me anything and everything that i want. so far, he has rarely turned down my requests. the only problem? both of us have to ask my mum for approval first.
and dad still treats me like i'm a 12 year old girl. i remember once that i wanted to go out with some girlfriends to starbuckcs in town at night. he asked me who my friends were,how long i was going out, when i'm supposed to come back etc. and that was when i was already 23 years old!!!! i got safely back by 10.30pm and both him and my grandma were waiting for me, like i committed robbery or something. but yeah, i love my dad to bits. don't know what i would do without my parents in my life.

mum and dad are going to canada next week, shit,i'm supposed to go to. initially the plan was to go after i graduated, but because my dad is gonna start working again in july, so they decided to go WITHOUT me and my bro. they're gonna visit my aunt in vancouver, visit the rocky mountains n go to seattle. sigh, why can't they wait for me???Anyways, this gives me the perfect excuse as always to ask for things:

1. Narcisco Rodriquez perfume for her.....this perfume smells really sexy.
2. Juicy Couture handbag........this takes a bit more persuasion for them to buy
3. Steve Madden shoes.......i LOVE Steve Madden
4. A watch??? All my watches are breaking down. i need a new replacement

Expected money they'll waste on the above items.....a few hundred US dollars. That's what they get for not bringing me, hah!!

i can't believe i have only 4 days left in surgery posting. as fun as it is, i just have 3 months left before i graduate. we had assessment today, and i was damn scared! i felt like in was in the PolPot regime. its like assessing whether you're stupid or not. i can really feel my face flushing. if you can imagine a deer trapped in headlights, that was how i felt and looked like. Anyways, he said all of us need to buck up. so, everyone is equal lah. i'm so glad its all over. tomorrow i have another round with DK. damn, that's another one i'm scared off. i don't think i'm being over sensitive, but i always kena with lecturers. its either i look dumb, look blur, or i know some stuff. right now i'm not sure which one applies.

i so can't wait to go back to kl this friday. i'm due for some heavy duty shopping, especially shoes n clothes. i went for a brisk walk this evening. i can't imagine how unfit i am. last sat, i also went for a brisk walk, and my calf muscles were in pain the next day. man, that's bad. that has never happened to me. i can't wait to get back to my fit self again. 3 more months........3more months.

i also need a bitching session with my subang cousins, i hope they'll want to see me next weekend. i also miss their tubby sis who eats cheese for a living :) dun worry, she is only 9 years old, she can't beat my ass for saying that.

weekend in kl

2008-04-27T18:12:00.005+08:00

so, i finally made my way back to kay-el,courtesy of kkkl express bus. the back n forth trip costs rm 30, and on average is about 4 hours. on fri evening, i used the double decker bus (which has VERY comfortable seats). considering that kl was a jam since the sungai besi toll, the bus driver must have driven really fast to arrive in 4 hrs flat. and that includes a 20 minute break, and dropping off passengers at various points. i arrived at pudu at 9.30 pm and was very irritated with the kl jam. it sucks! and pudu is such a mess. its absolute congestion. the roads were choked with buses, people were walking here and there, it was such a headache to see. arrived in vista about 10, bought dinner outside vista. so by the time i bathed and sat in front of the tv, it was about 11.15. but it was worth it. i havent seen my mom in two months.and even though she told me i didn't have to go back the whole of sem 10, she was pretty happy when i told her i missed her a lot, and i got a peck on the cheek from her :) its hard to believe my mom and i had problems a long time ago. i do think her moving to kl to work was a good thing for me.
i was supposed to start typing my second portfolio on saturday morning, but cannotlah. when in kl, must go out, shop and eat. so sat morning i went for dim sum at sri petaling, then we went to midv to watch forbidden kingdom starring jet li n jacky chan:

the movie is about 6/10, and i watched it solely cos my man jet li is in it. Hey,i really admired the guy when i was in high school. i even had a scrapbook of him. the thing that irritated me in this movie was the fact that they tried to create some love story between the white boy and the asian girl. NOw, i do not like my kungfu movies to have love stories. i mean, the whole reason i watch kungfu movies is for the action, not face sucking. jet's movies like once upon a time in china is a good example. we know, for example that fong sai yuk is in love with miss whateverhernameis,but it ends there. no kissing, no cuddling, no love scenes. this is what happens when white people try to do kungfu movies. i really want to watch a muay thai movie, i just forgot what the title is. i think muay thai is one of the most dangerous forms of martial arts, cos its raw and brutal.

anyways, after that movie, we went to Puma cos mom wanted to buy some clothes. i can't believe puma is as equally expensive as nike and reebok! but the clothes were pretty good. i don't like the sneakers tho. i prefer nike for working out, and adidas for outings. in 2 weeks time, we're having a one week holiday, and i plan to do some major shopping.

i went to church after a long drought. its so good to be in sfx, and being in front of god made me think back of all the wrong things i've done, and try to be a better person. My general observation of people who practice some form of religion is that they are less materialistic, more caring, and more aware of the needs of others. of course there are also atheists who are good people, but so far i have met few.

i went to a steakhouse for dinner, cos i so missed steak. my favourite is ribeye steak,medium done. sanfrancisco steakhouse has really good soups, cos they use lots of cream, not the campbell tin punya soup taste. while waiting for dinner, mom called grandma no 1. seems she's ok after her stroke and AF. the cause? undiagnosed hyperlipidaemia. i really wonder why her dr did not bother to do an annual lipid profile knowing that my granma is at high risk of getting hyperlipidaemia. she has been having hypertension for more than 15 years and is obese. i felt that all could be avoided if the dr were more responsible at her job. anyway, mum laughed really hard at one point in the conversations. seems granny told her she couldn't hear so well, and my aunt who was with her found that she held the phone upside down. LOL
then, it was my turn. she asked me when i'm going back, and that i was the only grandchild that she didn't see when she was in the icu....that made me feel very baaaad. so i told her i will grad in 3 months time, and she can see me. i always feel bad when i can't be around, cos everyone else will be there. its a horrible feeling,i feel like i gave the impression that i couldnt care less, when in fact i do feel very worried, but there's nothing i can do about it.

then, i watched AF at nite, cos my mum wanted to see the 40 year old granny sing (she got booted out). with the new host,the show was a bit better. my parents are still thinking of buying me that damned Chery QQ car. i'd rather get a second hand than Chery. My bro will be getting the Perdana that was originally meant for me. now, i'm trying to convince them to get me either a kenari or kelisa, or better yet, a gen 2. i must convince them, i must........

went back today via kkkl and sat next to my bestie, JMP. i told her i couldn't believe we're gonna finish in 3 months time. its an unbearable wait, but also scary, cos housemanship is scary. still, in 3 months time, i should and will have finished. after 27 years of studying nonstop, i will finally be working. and i'm gonna strive to pass the sem 10 exam cos i'm tired of studyinglah. i don't want to stretch my studies even further. now i must get back to portfolio.

Kluang

2008-04-20T08:36:00.005+08:00

I have just about finished my portfolio.suppose to pass up tmr. its 28 pages, and i'm so sick of typing. anyways, i am so loving madonna's new single, 4 minutes, as well as estelle n kanye west's new collabo. i can't get madonna's new song outta my head. its currently spinning like mad on my ipod. the music video is boring though. Miley cyrus made a dance video with the ever gorgeous Channing Tatum. u all can watch it on youtube when u have the time.

Kanyeizzle and estelle in american boy:

and finally, miz Janet Jackson with LUV:

next week, the ever scary and impressive DK will be coming to see us. as much as i miss him, he never fails to terrorize us. i'm just scared of the questions that he will ask. he just loves to ask questions which are not found in the books.
i went to Kluang hospital last tuesday. took about 1 hour from there to BP. the journey itself was fascinating. i love sceneries, and we passed by a lot of kampungs, multinational factories and small districts. there are so many foreign workers here. i spotted vietnamese and bangladeshis, and also some from india. especially along the parit raja area, you suddenly don't feel like you're in malaysia anymore. I have nothing against them, its just eye opening. there was even a certain stretch of road where there was just mist surrounding us as we drove. sigh...very the romantic.
kluang town itself is something like downtown kuching, full of old british shops. The kluang railway station is famous for its roti bakar, but by the time we came around 12pm, it was closed, and only open again at 2.30pm
the hospital itself is small. its been around even before the japanese occupation. we had to go to the male and female surgical wards, outpatient clinic and emergency room.
i wish i could take pics of the hopsital wards. it reminds me of a british army hospital. in the male ward, there was even an arch in the building. if you could imagine scenes of old british war films and their hospitals, well, kluang hospital was something like that. it was not hot because the way it is designed made it very airy. what i find amusing is that relatives/wives would just poke their heads through the ward windows to see how their loved ones are. imagine if your bed is under a window, and you keep finding an unfamiliar face peering at you. creepy....
the female ward, however, was so congested. just stepping into the ward and looking at the entire layout made me feel like i was gasping for breath. the beds are so close together. there is just enough space for 1 person to move around. i cannot imagine how the place is like during ward rounds and visiting hours. it feels like packed tuna.
we went to town for lunch. its kinda hard to choose a place to eat, cos you need to think about everyone. we had banana leaf for lunch, it was not bad. and while having lunch, the astro indian channel was on. They were showing really old indian movies that i hadn't watched in say, about 10 years? its quite interesting, as those old indian movies don't have much dancing segments. its a LOT of fighting and talking.
and on the way to the hospital, i saw an army camp that has a logo of a scorpion on its entrance. i'm really wondering if that camp was just for the special forces, as the army camps i usually see don't have that logo.
anyway, it was a good outing for me. i'll be going there again in another 2 weeks time. if you were to ask me the best part about being in peninsular for many years, its the fact that i get to see other places of malaysia, places that i may have not been able to see if i didn't study here. it shows a slice of rural/old town malaysia.
i would like to go and see kelantan and terengganu. the journey and scenery there must be amazing.

swatch sucks

2008-04-12T19:40:00.002+08:00

Today is officially my first weekend in surgery posting. God, i'm always grateful for my weekends now. i thought obs n gynae would be the busiest posting and boy am i wrong. Turns out surgery is worse.
Worse, because i have to stay in the wards from virtually 7-5pm, worse because i have 3 oncalls per week, worse because i have cp's at night, and worse because there are not many cases to have for portfolios. Not many cases to be seen here, but its oklah. one thing i have to be glad about is that my group is allowed to write about any case as long as there are relevant learning issues to be discussed.
Honestly, i am really tired for this posting. mornings in the ward are from 7.30 to 12 pm (with said lecturer deliberately turning up in the wards at 1130 am just to see if the students are there). Then its time for a break, and back to the wards from 2-7 pm (if on call can go back at 5pm). then, we may suddenly have some class in the evenings, say from 5-6.30 pm. Then, if i'm on call that night i have to be back from 8-11 pm. Crazy rite? and don't give me the "you're a HO in training"shit cos' i'm still a med student. i have not had time to study, relying only on my oxford to remember what i have learnt.
Today i went to the ward to check up on my patient who is going to be sent to JB hospital, when our ex IMU senior (IMU shall be known as IMOO from now on) asked me to insert branula for 2 patients. the first was my pt, and i also had to take some blood samples for fbc buse etc. in my excitement i forgot to take of the tourniquet so blood was really oozing fast into the test tubes.i made a bit of a mess on the patient's bed. pt no 2 was an old man, and i thrombosed his blood vessels. IMOO senior had to help me to put the branula on the other hand. then i was asked to take blood from a IVDU. Boy, susah betul nak ambik blood from druggies. their veins are virtually thickened from all the needle injections. i tried twice and gave up. the staff nurse also couldn't do it. IMOO senior once again came to the rescue. Bestnye dapat senior yg nice kan :)
the lesson from today is: its hard taking blood from the elderly and druggies. but i really like our seniors. they are nice to us and just let us do everything, teaching us in the process also. sigh, i am so the happy to get nice seniors :)
then after that, i went for a nasi briyani lunch (so many nasi briyani shops in bp) and proceded to go to bp mall. i wanted to find another pair of shoes, but nothing is nicelar. summit got better choices. so then i went grocery shopping. Guess what, my ikan jelawat is there, and bigger than the previous one. i promised to cook the fish for some friends, just need the right time to do so. bought my mexican ready to cook chicken, salads n my kerang.
Oh yeah, about the swatch thingy. i currently have 2 swatches and both are considered SPOILED. the oldest is only 2 years old. one fell down and the suface was cracked on the way back from swimming, the other one, i dunno what the problem is. i took it to the watch shop, and the people there happily tell me both can't be fixed. shitty lah. i'm frustrated that both are spoiled, as i most probably will be going back to kl in another 4 weeks?? but at the same time glad that i have an excuse to go shopping.
i would probably get a watch from Fossil (cheap n nice), Esprit, Guess or Baby G. The only problem is trying to 'bodek' my mum to buy a good watch for me. i shall try my damndest not to buy another swatch again. Now i have to go and dig out an old watch that i have. its a Fossil, and i still hope it works.
one thing good about bp is that i'm developing more compassion for my patients. there was this one patient who had an MVA, and is currently unconscious and on a ventilator. IMOO senior had to get an ABG from the patient. at the time, both the pt's wife and father were in the room taking care of him. when senior came, both went out of the room and i happened to look at the father's face. it was heartbreaking for me, because i saw despair,hopelesness and also a great love for his son (who's in his 30's). the pt had been there for a few months and has not regained consciousness since then. i suddenly realized that the old man had been there nearly everyday taking care of his son. i feel sad when i think about it. in seremban, i dont really see and think about it because there are so many beds, and the turnover rate is really high. but in bp, life is a bit slow, and if you are aware, there are a lot of things going on. another thing that makes me sad is that the patients here put their ENTIRE trust in the doctors, like listening to everything the doctors say and looking at you as if you are their saviour. a few of the patients i have clerked did that to me, and even though it feels good, in reality i am just a student. its true most of the bp people are not city folk, and it just makes me want to treat them real nice, cos they deserve it, for putting all their faith in the hospital doctors. it also makes me want to work in government, even though i know my life may be shitty due to the work and pay. but i believe its these sort of patients that need the best care available.

Damn i'm stuck in BP

2008-04-05T13:03:00.002+08:00

heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, another boring weekend in BP. I have finally finished my obs/gynae posting. i celebrated by going out with my good friends fahzi n squid to a nice cafe somewhere near carrefour to have dinner. i initially wanted to go back to kl this weekend but my mom went back to sarawak. Her mom (granma no. 1) just suffered a stroke a few days ago, and mom is worried. as usual, i was the last of the family to find out. my dad said he sent me an sms, but i never recieved it, i swear! she's doing ok now, but according to my dad she's learning to walk again, and he says she's walking like a crab. don't get pissed with my dad, he's just trying to make me feel less worried.
My parents are actually kinda overprotective of me. i'm usually the last to know about any news (lest it upsets me and my studying) and they usually sweeten any bad news so i dont' worry so much. Add to the fact that i have been barred from driving for the past 7 years, i feel its a bit too much, even though i am the only girl in my family.
i remember once when low cut jeans were the rage, and i was a 2nd year student in um. i went back to kch for a holiday once and happened to wear those jeans. when i came home, i unpacked my suitcase in the living room, and the tips of my undies can be seen because of the jeans. heh, my parents were freakin'angry with me. i was scared, but it was quite funny at the time to see them get angry. if i were to wear g-strings at the time, instead of the usual undies i'd probably give them a heart attack.
Now, i don't wear low cut jeans cos its really uncomfortable (and i've added more fat around the waist). Levi's is still going ahead with their low low waist jeans, and i congratulate any girl who can wear them. i'm still sticking to my bootcut jeans though, cos it makes my butt look good :)
I have finally gone to bp mall and carrefour bp. I'm pretty happy with bp mall. its something like jusco seremban, except its less overcrowded and more shops. i had sushi king, cos i just had the urge to eat raw seafood. the outlet here has the same taste, but less choices. nevertheless,i'm pretty happy (and pretty broke) after eating there. The pacific supermarket is also a god given to this place. the vegies and fish here are really fresh. thanks to my hsemate's microwave,i finally got to eat steamed sultan fish after a long time. THey call the fish jelawat here, but it keeps reminding me of jerawat, and i don't want to think about pimples when i'm eating my beloved fish. if only they built a cinema at the mall, it would complete everything. and no, i have not been to the cinema here.
carrefour is also okay, the usual stuff. what gets me upset is that i can't find my favourite quaker's cereal bars. i have to resort to Nature's valley cereal bars, which i agree are too dry to eat in the mornings. still, any cereal bar is better than no cereal bar at all.
My neighborhood is very safe. the one thing i don't like is when i see dogs being kept just for the sake of guarding the houses. i happened to walk past one particular house this morning on the way to get my morning paper. that house has 3 dogs, which barked and bared their teeth at anyone passing by the house. can you imagine what would happen if they were let loose? i do agree that dogs should take care of the house, but i don't agree that that is their sole purpose. i would prefer to have my pet dogs be friendly and install a complete burglar system rather than to just train them to be ferocious. and i've seen one shop nearby where they keep 3 dogs in a small cage. 2 big dogs and 1 puppy. its so small that they can either just stand or lie down, with no room to move around. and they look so depressed. i wonder why some pet owners can't be considerate enough. even though they are just dogs, but they deserve better treatment than this. even worse are owners who abuse their dogs by tying them to a short leash all day. and in this country, where dogs are considered haram, nothing much is being done to amend animal cruelty laws despite efforts by ngos to do something about it.
oh, and good news!! my fave tv shows are starting again. i've managed to download criminal minds, csi and simpsons. now i'm waiting for the terminator chronicles. thank god the writer's strike is over. not much in the movies, and becos bp is a small town, i've resorted to downloading them via mininova and azureus. i'm gonna start downloading doomsday soon,its ur typical virus attacks earth and produce weird humans kinda movie. i hope i can go back next weekend. my young brother will be back in town. i intend to torment as much of his life as i possibly can.

Im so free from cfcs

2008-03-27T16:39:00.003+08:00

Jeebus, i just hate typing. I finally passed up my cfcs this morning, and i'm glad i don't have to see it for the next one more month.just because of the critical review, i spent my whole sunday in front of the pc looking for suitable journals. not to mention haggling over the one and only IMU printer with at least 60 other classmates.

You know what, i hate depending on other people. i hate it that i can't go to hospital on my own, i hate it that i can't go to town on my own, and i hate it when i have to depend on people for stuff. Its not that i hate making human contact, its just that i don't like to trouble other people. And my own feeling that i feel like i'm using people. I don't think anyone will understand how i feel unless they have been very independent for quite a while. So this weekend, i am going to buy my own printer in the hopes that i don't need to ask other people's help to send me to IMU/printing shop/other people's house just to print.

I was very happy in Seremban. Its just a 15 minute walk to school, which i did almost everyday, and getting the added benefit of exercise. And for those of you who have not had early morning walks (aka 6-7 am walks) you should try it. its super nice! There were many shophouses around my area, so looking for essentials like grocery, food, clinic, stationary shops etc was no big deal. AND there is a bus stop which took me to ktm, seremban parade and terminal 1, just in case i wanted to go back to kl or just to go for my mcd's or kfc. Speaking of which, i have NOT HAD both fast foods for about 4 weeks. THat's is long for me. I used to have mcd's once a week. Yeah, i know i'm clogging my arteries, but i was hoping my morning walks would solve a little bit of that problem.

Here in bp, i HAVE NO PLACE TO EXERCISE NEAR MY HOUSE. i'm stuck in my room. Technically, there is a garden just opposite imu, but if i want to exercise there, i will need someone to send me back to my house. See why i'm feeling frustrated now? People have been asking me why i x have a car and why i don't drive. I have a driving license, and i got it when i was 17. Its just that MY PARENTS DON'T WANT ME TO DRIVE. That's just it. Don't ask me why they forbid me to do so. i have no idea. even my brother gets to drive when he comes back home to kuching. Me, i can't even touch the steering wheel of any car that belongs to my parents or my relatives. my brother needs to drive me around town.

I guess i'm frustrated because for once i'm semi independent. Im glad that i have friends who are willing to take me out to eat, send me to hospital or imu and go grocery shopping with me. But there are also times when i wish i had the freedom and accessibility to go out on my own once in a while. Is there a bus service in bp? There is. but it goes straight to the bus terminal and does not pass bp summit. i think i'll just rot in my room for the next few months and try to enjoy myself.

speaking of which,today until this sunday is the freest i've been since coming here. the lecturers are enjoying themselves in Shanghai, and i haven't got my first portfolio back. i still need to look for suitable ebm materials for the first one.

to be honest, i can't wait to get back to sarawak. now i really really want to just go through the next 5 months without any major incidents, pass and just go back. i miss home, i miss my family, i miss my friends and i miss sarawakians. I miss my high school friends. They were the backbone of my life and they still are, even though i don't keep in touch with them very often. in fact, i am guilty of not keeping in touch with them. i think the one reason i stayed so close to them is because even though each and every one of us has our own neurotic personalities, in general we were all behaving the same way: nice, down to earth girls who don't think too highly of themselves, we are comfortable in our own skin, don't twoface or backstab their friends and are very trustworthy (My really close friends anyway). i know i can trust them with my life if i confided something to them, and they can depend on me to do the same thing. ANd i love being with these type of people, u can just relax, be yourself, and nobody gives a damn about you, as long as you are nice. And like i've always said it before, my high school years were and still are the best part of my life :D

Uni was okay, i met a couple of good friends. I've always wondered why are girls always each others best enemies. You seldom see it with guys. In UM, i've seen my own friends backstab another good friend of mine, eventually forcing her to move out of the house in second year. i've seen classmates getting jealous of other classmates achievements, ive seen uber-kiasu ppl in UM, damn, i've seen lots of things. And its usually girl vs girl. Sometimes i wonder what goes on in these girl's minds. What is there to be jealous off? What is there to be bitchy about? I just don't get it sometimes. And the people ive seen hurt are my closest friends. I'm now going to be 27 by the end of this year. And sometimes, trust me, i do feel old. I think i've come to a point where i am beyond all the stupid things i used to do in high school and uni. granted, i'm still not fully mature yet, give me another few more years. Sometimes i'm pretty tired of the drama in life. When i feel really stressed out, i imagine myself just thoughtlessly chain-smoking away, staring at nothing but empty space. That is how i relieve whatever stress i have. No, i have not tried smoking, although i wish i could try one. perhaps when i go back for good, and just try to puff one of my cousins cigs.

in other happier news, my brother told me two weeks ago, that my parents were thinking of buying me car called CHERY QQ. yes, you've heard it rite, CHERY QQ. well, my first reaction was that i was shocked, then i was laughing on the phone for quite some time. The car is made in China and its cheap, in langkawi its price is 18k without tax. in kl its 24K. its a bit bigger than a kancil, and honest to god, it looks like a bug. i so hope they dont buy me that car. i mean i can settle for any car, heck, i've been pestering them to buy me a second hand kenari. my granma has the same car, and its so easy to drive. but a car called CHERY QQ??? when i told my dad about my crushed ego over having to drive a car with a name like that, he also laughed. man, why can't china give non-bimbotic names to their car??? so far, he said he'll buy the car he originally thought of buying for me. i so hope he x change his mind.

My brother has been transferred to Terengganu for 2-3 months for his pilot course before going back to Langkawi. He'll grad in november. i can't believe he and i are going to start work at the same time, and he is 6 years younger than me OK???!!! AND HIS STARTING SALARY IS 4K, FOR JUST STUDYING FOR 2 YEARS. i had to glue my ass to the chair for 5 years just to make sure i pass, and guess what, my starting salary is almost equal to his.

Being a cadet pilot is so relaxing. the first day he was in t'ganu, he was already playing paintball with his classmates. He only has to study for the first year, then for the second year, its all practical stuff. and its a good life. the last time i called him, he said that he flew over the chain of islands just off t'ganu. that must 've been one heck of a beautiful sight. The only thing i can bully him about when he starts working is to get me some stuff, once he starts his overseas flying.

i need to start reading my books. i have not been opening my books for the past 4 weeks because of the ass shitty portfolios. Who the hell said sem 10 was relaxing?

Portfolios r a killer

2008-03-16T18:39:00.002+08:00

Its only today that i have begun to feel boredom in batu pahat. They have 1 GSC theatre here that is currently screening 4 movies- dr horton hears a who, anak, 10000 bc and some chinese flick. Today i've been stuck to the chair yet again typing my portfolio. What's that you ask? well, its basically a case i have to type up, from the case summary to history, dx, invx yada yada all the way to evidence based medicine. its a killer cos i can't think of what to write. and i've got to pass up a minimum of 2 portfolios for each posting. That's life in bp for me.
yesterday i had a cfcs discussion that took 3 hours. and i have to finish typing within the coming week,cos i have to pass up on the 25th.

i also just finished my labour ward posting and completed all my supposed deliveries. the last delivery that i did is the most scariest. it was a face presentation with fetal bradycardia. imagine 3 senior nurses with loads of nursing students around you. it was a very very stressful moment for me as i felt how inexperienced i was at that time. and everything had to be done quickly to prevent fetal distress.

another thing i hate is when we have to fight to deliver patients with the nursing students.the moment a patient enters, 4 of them will escort her on her wheelchair all the way to the delivery cubicle. and 4 of them are needed to do a ctg on a patient.
and they have this irritating way of just kepo-ing on your patient when youré not looking. for example, i'll be looking at the patient's case, then when i turn around i see this nursing student timing uterine contractions on my patient, when its not even time to do so? and they will want to do everything, from swabbing the patient to sending the patient back to the ward. sometimes i get so fed up i just do the delivery and let them do the rest of the stuff. the only consolation i get is that they have to take orders from me once i grad :(. granted, not all student nurses are a kiasu lot, i've learnt a thing or two from a number of them. but the majority are a prick in my ass.

I also tried to do suturing of the patient's episiotomy scar, and boy, it aint'easy. i was suppposed to suture the skin, and it took me about 2-3 minutes to do 1 stitch. it made the staff nurse anxious as i was giving more unnecessary pain to my patient. doing it on a model is so easy,its not elastic. its pretty hard to put a suturing needle through skin.

I bought my beloved durians yesterday, 3 big kampung ones for 18 bucks. all 3 were pretty good, only a few fruits were spoiled. i plan to buy durians once a month before i come back to seremban again.

SPM results are out and i found out that a lot of my cousins/relatives are scoring A's like mad! and our nation's highest scorer has a freakin'21A's! Personally, the education dept should stop this. what's the point of getting the most A's? you're not even gonna use 2/3 of the subjects you studied for. I also think its easier to get A/s compared to my time. IN my old days, getting 10 units and below was a pretty big achievement, let alone 9a's. Now the A's are just dropping like flies :) congrats to those who excelled anyways, i just hope you ask rm 10 for an A from your relatives and parents.

The tiniest state in our country is in a dilemma. There are seemingly 2 menteri besars,one chosen by the Sultan, another chosen by the PM. THe way its played out in the media, its like 1 catfight over nothing. And this is exactly why my generation voted so much for the opposition this time around. IF both of them were truly serving the rakyat, they wouldn't even bother to fight for the menteri besar post, just let the sultan and Pm fight it out. But because it comes with power, glamour, mercedes benzes and convoys that stretch for miles, its worth pulling each other's hair out over it, isn't it?

With more opposition in parliament this time, i hope there will be more stimulating debates rather that last year, where the stupidest debate was about whether Air Asia stewardesses skirt's were too short, and the impact it had on men's lust.

1 week in bp .....the drama!!!

2008-03-08T11:47:00.002+08:00

so yeah, this is me 1 week in batu pahat. i love this place. it does not have much places to shop, but the house where i'm staying now is 5 mins drive from hospital, my best friend stays just 5 mins away, and i have kedai-kedai runcit just in front of my house. it includes a cake house, furniture shop, clinic, chinese food stalls, laundry and kedai runcit. not to mention there are hills surrounding my house, so its a scenic place. nice eh?

but what really makes me happy is the FOOD. GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS FOOD!! Durians are in season here, and there's everything from kacukan to the kampung type. the only problem is no one wants to eat durian with me. sob. i have to gather some other durian lovers and just spend an hour or two at the durian stall. i love my durians, and i've been having a durian drought in seremban for the past 2 and a half years.
BP drivers? they drive like hell!! i seat in the passenger seat, and this week alone i had about 2 or 3 heart attacks seeing the way they drive. its really a case of 'jalan ini bapak aku punya'. i'm surprised there are not many accidents yet.

and yes, nasi briyani. i've had 3 nasi briyani lunches this past week. nice, with big portions. i just hope i dont gain another kg.

the drama i encountered was on the day that i was going to move here. just a few minutes before i was driving off to bp, i called the landlord to confirm i was coming in the evening, and he called back a few minutes later saying that i can't stay in the house cos the seniors wanted it back. mind you, nobody told me this, from the landlord all the way down to the senior. i was freaking mad of course. i had a lorry full of things and i was already homeless in batu pahat. the whole journey i had to think about where to stay, where to dump my things, etc. i really was frustrated and felt like crying. its bad enough i'm not even a semenanjungian in the first place. luckily for me, one of my classmates had an extra room and after dumping my ex housemates stuff in their new house,i went to mine. we even got lost in batu pahat town as the lorry drove so fast.

i stayed the night at THE HOTEL WHERE THE DVD WAS MADE with my parents. My aunt was pretty paranoid about extra cameras, so she kept looking at the ceiling when she bathed :). the hotel is really good, its well maintained and comfortable. i think it is THE hotel in town, and so now we know why all the action went down at that place!
this week was so hectic for me. i'm starting with obs and gynae. u know what? i don't even have time for myself. morning its the wards, afternoon is full of classes and sometimes at night i have to cover wards. by the end of this week i would have gone for 3 on calls already, including tonight. i m looking for some action tonight at the labour ward, i hope i get to deliver and do an episio. on call is horrible. i start at 7pm, finish at 5 am, and get back to the ward again at 7.30 am. i dont get to sleep until later that night. then i have portfolios to do, which really take up my time, and my cfcs project. there is lack of sleep, no time to enjoy yourself and lots of work to do. but having been through all that torture, i am enjoying myself here. its more of hands on work, and i really feel like a house officer already. the courses here are not much of theory anymore, more to practical stuff. so yeah, i am glad obs and gynae is the first posting. it sets a motion for the whole of 5 months.

sorry people for not putting up photos, but its too much of a hassle for me. maybe i'll put up a link to photos after i finish in august, about places where i've been to, where i've studied, etc. for now, its just to survive this 5 months.

oh yeah,another thing. after 5 years, i wish some students would be more mature and grow up. its interesting to note nothing has changed since i first step foot in bj. you got all sorts of interesting characters in imu. but without interesting personalities, life gets dull, doesn't it? signing of from bp.

i'm moving to batu pahat

2008-02-28T22:34:00.002+08:00

geez, its been months since i've last updated about myself. what was i doing? the usual, sticking my butt on a chair and slogging to just pass the exams. along the way,i found out that my hair has been steadily (and happily) dropping off since semester 9 started. it looks like i have less hair at the front now. i so don't want to be botak and boyfriendless at a young age. HELP!! seems i wasn't the only one who was steadily balding during semester 9, a lot of other students were also haveing their own hair loss. yep, that's how stressed out we all were. i kept complaining to my mum, and when i went back to kl last week, she gave me some hair serum. i have to put 5 or 6 sprays twice a day and gently massage my scalp. yeah, i hope it works, or else i dunno what i'm gonna do. NO hair transplants for me though, after remembering the xxx joke one of the lecturers made about hair transplants.

so, how was semester 9 exams? tough, freaking tough. it was two weeks of pure torture. osce's was the hardest as usual because of the building anxiety and the unknown questions that faced us. for those who r kepochi, here's a breakdown of the questions they asked us:

Modified essay questions:

Hiv, TB, congenital heart disease, bleeding in early pregnancy, sterilisation btl, obstructive jaundice, panic disorder, a bloody hard orthopedics question and ethical issues. it was do-able, but we have a specific time to awnser each set of papers. its like if you dunno about something, habislah. but luckily most were what the lecturers taught during the daily ward rounds. And who knew ortho could be such a killer?

OSPEs:

hepatocellular ca, steven johnsons, ecg hyperkalemia, herpes simplex and herpes zoster, biliary atresia, oesophageal atresia, sigmoid volvulus, adult polycystic kidney, pancreatic cyst, opiates, depression and suicide, endometriotic cyst, ovarian cancer, ebm, corneal ulcer and broken nasal bridge. there r 2 more questions that i can't remember.

short osce's:

atrial fib and prosthetic heart valves, counselling febrile fits, palpation breast ca and staging, examination shoulder supraspinatus tendinitis, ankle brachial index measurement, deviated nasal septum, cushing syndrome, counseling infertility in male, ethical issues on post stroke patient, funduscopy diabetic retinopathy

long osce's

alcohol risk takers, oespoageal ca history taking,cardiac disease in pregnancy and palpation of abdomen, thalassemia, peripheral neuropathy and mental state examination for dementia.

WITH MANAGEMENT which i currently suck at. i actually slept at one of the rest stations during the long osces. and after the exam, i straightaway went to mcd's to drown my sorrow in fried chicken and ice cream.

After this exam, i now understand why medicine is the hardest thing to study. i don't feel it during bj times. cmón, we study only 2 hours a day, the rest of the time we either play or study aimlessly on our own. and if we study last minute we still can pass. when i come to clinical school,its a whole different ball game. and the hardest year is the final year. whenever i come back to vista and see all those youngsters in bj looking happy cos they got to enter medical school, i feel like grinning. Just imagine how inexperienced we all were during that time. i personally felt like medicine was no big deal to pass. well now, i take back my words. and if anyone tells me imu students are not good enough compared to those in public unis, i kindly ask them to take the exams i just took and c whether its that easy to pass. Just because its private doesn't mean i don't work hard. sometimes i wish people's attitude would change towards private med students. Majority of us are the same as any other med students anywhere. its those lecturers who are working in public unis that are the hardest to please, they always think private med students r crap and don't deserve to study medicine. well, not all but a some of them think so.

so today i went back to imu for a while to look at some cfcs reports, said bye to a few lecturers and began to clean up my room. fyi, i wanted to show the 4 important posters that i hang on my bedroom wall, namely a pic of McSteamy (yum), spiderman and 2 pics of johnny depp. man, is he hot. i just wished he would shave off his beard. currently 80% of my things are packed, the rest are just waiting to be dumped in empty and available spaces of my bag. i got 6 months left and i just can't wait to pass.

have to passlah, actually. i'm getting older, my parents are gonna retire soon, and i'm pretty sick of studying myself. i've been studying for the last 20 or more years of my life and i really need a break (also to lose weight and regrow my hair). I heard in batu pahat the nasi briyani is really good, and there's actually a CINEMA there. not bad eh, considering i'm going to spend 5 months there. then i have to shift back to seremban to prepare for the exit viva. gosh, i am pretty excited to finish studying. can't wait to start working and earn some cash, no matter how crappy my life as a junior doc will be. just want to think about getting that cash first....

i've watched vantage point last week. its actually an ok movie, except that it keeps rewinding the events as its name suggests. that got a lot of people irritated (cos they didnt read the synopsis of the movie first). i also went on a shopping spree, where i bought my second pair of crocs. No, not bragging, just that its ironic i told a friend a year ago i would never ever own a croc cos its just downright ugly. i bought the mary jane versions, and they look more pleasing to the eye. the first pair is currently being used for OT sessions. i also bought books by robin cook and a book about my hunky agent pendergast. speaking of which,i have also seen what kenlin sees in anderson cooper. that man can just charm a bear if he wants to. sadly, i think he's g**. shame, isn't it?

oooh...and did anyone see javier bardem and mcdreamy at the oscars? HOT, way hotter than george clooney. for the life of me i can't see what women see in george. suave, yes, but he doesn't make my heart beat :) and petra nemcova's going out with sean penn. errr, i don't approve of this couple, its just icky.

gosh i'm so sleepy. gnite. blog when i'm in batu pahat.

1 infant, 3 diagnoses

2007-11-02T21:23:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling lousy today. Like as in depressed down in the dumps gutter sort of feeling. it has to do with my exams and things said about me.

I just finished my paeds posting today. The written exam was a gut buster. I didn't study so much because i was focusing instead for the long case exam. My examiner is the first neonatologist in the country, with 30 years of experience. You don't mess around with people like that.

for my long case,the hospital drs diagnosis was bronchial asthma. I saw the patient 2 days after admission. My diagnosis was viral pneumonia. My examiner saw the kid for just 10 minutes, observed the boy, asked 1 question, and clinched the diagnosis: viral croup. Her question was whether the boy had hoarseness of voice. In just 10 minutes, she observed that the boy had difficulty bottlefeeding while lying supine. He was able to bottle feed after the mother held him in the upright position. Goodness, i am in AWE and RESPECT for the examiner. And honestly, thank god i didn't see the case file the day before exam. If i told her my diagnosis was bronchial asthma, she would probably freak out, because according to her that is way down the list of diagnosis for her. I just love all these lecturers with experience. I hope (and wonder) if i can be like that someday. So good to diagnose and treat patients in just a few minutes. However, my management got zero marks because of my wrong diagnosis. But what i liked about her is that she points out your mistakes and tells you how to improve. Fantastic. I slaved for 4 days just to prepare for my long case
and neglected my saq. The previous groups failure rate was about 60-70% and i already expected myself to fail.

There were 2 questions about neonatology, the other 3 were paeds. and i did fuck up on all the questions. What can i say? i'm not smart enough, with lack of common sense. I put more stress on myself in semester 9 because i have to learn about management, and at the same time close the gaps i still had since semester 7. Sometimes i feel apathetic towards my studies, i'm not sure why and it worries me. I'm just hoping some other people in my batch feel the same way too.

The other thing that REALLY PISSES me off is when some people in my batch think i'm this gossiper who maliciously spreads rumours about themselves and others in my batch. what a joke. To all those people who think so about me, don't flatter yourselves. I don't have all the time in the world to go and dig my head in the sand just to find out all the dirt about you. don't inflate your egos too much,darlings. I'm too busy trying to cope with my studies to think about anything else. nowadays other people know more things than i do. so much for me being a 'gossip queen'.

Want to know what i talk about most of the time? Go to PerezHilton.com and find out for yourself. Most of the things i gossip about come from this website. I just fucking hate it when people who don't know me at all assume the worst about me.

Im a schizoid

2007-11-02T19:25:00.000+08:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	High
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Low
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

Damn,i always knew something was wrong with me!!

I is TAGGED

2007-10-19T21:12:00.000+08:00

1. If I was an opposite gender, what would my party clothes be like?
Definitely metrosexual, ala Christiano Ronaldo. Damn, that man is hot

2. At 10am this morning, I was… … reading the Star about Bourne Ultimatum. I am so going to watch it, pirated or non pirated version!

3. At 10pm tonight, I will be… … making my ass bigger by sitting for hours on a chair

4. Who should be the next Malaysian Prime Minister?
The space traveller, Sheikh Muszaphar

5. If my spouse told me to do without sex for a year, I would… … find multiple toyboys to play with

6. If I was a piece of a car, I would be the… …the steering wheel. somehow it symbolizes power.

7. If I was told one day that I would have to give up either 1) anything chocolate OR 2) ever seeing the beach again, for the rest of my life, which one will I give up?
i don't mind not seeing the beach. i'll just go and swim in some leptospirosis infested lake.

8. Singapore is good for… ... finding bald men. Honestly, there seem to be more young, bald men there.

9. If I could only say 3 words before I die, what would those last words be? Nacho Libre Rules!!

10. Who would I like to be left on a deserted island with? Luke McAlister.

11. Die by drowning or by fire? fire. Drowning....i don't like to burn.

12. What one single thing would you buy with your last RM9.95? buy KFC snack plate

13. If I opened a night club, what would I call it? Bliss- sounds nice, doesn't it?

14. Don’t cheat: what’s “bulbous”? some male anatomy resembling a lightbulb

15. I think my ass is… …TOO BIG. It sticks out when i wear pants.

CRAP

2007-10-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

i had a crappy weekend.

1. i was trying to fix my earrings cos the top always comes off. so i buy super glue, and instead of fixing the earrings, i glued four of my fingers to each other instead. panicked for 5 minutes, then got help from a friend online. after that, while wiping off the mess on my table with tissue, i REGLUED my fingers to the tissue instead. i spent the next 1 hour picking off the tissue from my fingers.

2. New Zealand has lost to France in the Rugby World Cup by only TWO points. Dammit, the next time i want a team to win i'll support the opposing team. It must be Sebastian Chabal's fault.

3. My cooking gas is finished, so i call the gas company at 10.30 am this morning. it is now 12 midnite and no sign of gas van.

4. i tried convincing my grandma that it would be good to have a dog in the house. She is 120% against the idea, and nearly had a heart attack when i suggested that the dog will sleep in my room at night. My dad told me even the sound of the pet chicken of my neighbour makes her crazy. I don't mean disrespect, but....how can someone not love a cute little dog??

The saving grace i had this weekend was my parents who came to see me. They had to drop off some new pants and some cookies. And i got to stuff my face with kenny rogers. The other thing that always makes me happy is this skit from the movie Napoleon Dynamite. Jon Heder's really good at dancing, he made up most of the dance moves on his own. This movie is all about Napoleon, who's a geek, and how he spends his day at school. He meets a new friend (his only friend) Pedro, who just came from Mexico. His love interest is Debra, who sells glamour shots and boondoggle keychains to go to college. He stays with his grandma (who looks like a les to me). His uncle rico is a salesman who sells fake Tupperware and bust enhancing programs. When Pedro decides to become a class President, Napoleon helps him by performing a skit:

the first time i watched this movie i didn't find it funny. but after reading the meaning of the story on the net, i have grown fond of it. it currently has a cult following among teens

I hope they win

2007-09-21T20:08:00.000+08:00

my craze with rugby players started 3 years ago when johnny wilkinson played for the brits. coincidentally, they won the rugby world cup in 2003. since johnny's not playing anymore, i've decided to switch teams to the ALL BLACKS. I love the way they do the haka, no matter if people think its stupid or funny. The passion that they show when doing the haka is addictive. Of course, the presence of Luke Mcalister is a great help too!Just like the england football team, they have won the world cup only once in 1983. They've either lost at the finals or semifinals to south africa, france or tonga. Jeez, i hope they win this year! I'm going on the haka overload now.

this is the haka the under-19 all blacks performed:

and this is the cutest haka that i've ever seen:

GO ALL BLACKS!!!

ps. i don't like sebastian chabal, the guy who looks like a mafia in the french rugby team.

Ive got one more year to go!

2007-09-13T19:00:00.000+08:00

as of last week, i am officially a 5th year student (who is still woefully average). i'm starting with surgery and ending with radio or anaes. its hectic, tiring, but fun. my day starts at 6am and ends at 6pm. so many things to remember and so many new things to absorb in 4 weeks. its true what another friend says, at the end of each day we're all so tired. There's no time for gossip, no time to bother about the petty little things in life. This week i tried to insert a cannula, and it wouldn't even go in, because i pushed the wrong way. How embarassing!! Even more embarassing is that i only get to do this in my final year.

After my selectives and electives, i now have a bigger picture of life as a real doc. its not just about being good in theory, its also about being good in practical work. And in SGH, the standard is high. i just noticed that the ho's in seremban hospital are twice as much as in sgh, even though sgh is bigger. BAd huh....houseman's in kch are overworked. the juniors have started their first week and are lost sheep. i am proud to anounce that their M2/03 seniors are being very nice to them, especially RAhman. If that guy ever goes into politics, he has my full support :)

last nite there was an earthquake in indon measuring 8.2. The students in condo tasik mewah said the building was shaking. i was happily stuffing my mouth with mcdonalds french fries at seremban 2 when the quake hit. thank god there's no tsunami. this weekend i'm not going back to kl, no matter how badly i want to. there's something about weekends in seremban that is so bloody boring. even though i've downloaded tons of movies to watch, its still boring.

Now i wanna talk about britney spears. Her performance at the vma's is so fucked up. when i saw the trailer for the rehearsals, she looked okay. Why she had to wear that little for the performance is just mind boggling. i'm okay with her body, but she should realize she ain't a size 2 anymore. the next day she went out without any undies. i wonder why someone like her wants to destroy her career and abandon her babies every night for the clubs. she's acting like a juvenile. Her new songs sound so much better without her dancing drunkenly to it. that girl just doesn't have any brain cells left.

I love perez hilton, even though he's catty and seems to have an agenda towards certain stars, his blog is funny to read. and he posted a nice pic of christiano ronaldo wearing white undies and getting soaked....check out his blogpage.

I accidentally discovered this great song from gym class heroes, viva la white girl. its supposedly about drugs (?). i'm not sure, but it has a nice beat to it.

MERDEKA!

2007-08-30T20:28:00.000+08:00

yeah.....i for once shall stop complaining about things in this country and be grateful for what i have. Really, despite me always mouthing off about certain stuff, at the end of the day i still will live in Sarawak. Its boring, yeah, but the people i'm closest to are all here, so what the heck :)

Here are some reasons why i love malaysia, in no particular order:

1.Lat and his cartoons
2. Charkoay teow, penang laksa, Satay kajang, Pok mee, rojak and rojak sotong
3. Cendol, ais kacang, matterhorn
4. SARAWAKIANS- thank god we exist
5. Gunung santubong
6.DVD ciplak
7. Petaling Street
8. Midvalley
9. Sarawak Cultural Village
10.All other malaysian states
11. Malay drama- i grew up watching opah
12. Astro-has anyone watched the commercial about DVD guy for wah lai toi? Hilarious
13. MAS
14. KLCC, Sultan Abdul Samad building
15. Wayang Kulit
16. Mulu caves
17. Kinabalu
18. All islands- redang, tioman, langkawi etc
19 CHEAP SEAFOOD
20.Tropical weather-i can wear selipar jepun the whole year round
21.TV1,2 and 3- i forgot about watching tamil and kung fu movies too
22.Cheap clothes
23. Perodua
24. Petronas advertisements
25.People living in harmony- we are actually v peaceful comepared to some other places
26. Cheap prepaid services
27. Bata
28. Our beaches
29.Our language-lah, oi,and others
30. CAmeron and genting highlands
31. Durians, langsat, mangosteen, rambutan, laici and pisang
32. All goreng-goreng foods
33.Metrobus-best way to travel in kl
34.One of a kind malaysian drivers
35. Our culture, heritage and individuality, unlike a country down south.....
36. Safe from the volcanoes, earthquakes etc
37. Our super old rainforests
38. bujang senang
39. Orang utan
40. P. ramlee. i love his movies
41. Yasmin Ahmad
42. Our prime ministers, and all those who made this country free
43. flora and fauna of malaysia
44. mosquito net. its fun sleeping inside one
45. my kampung
46. Kuching city
47.pasar malam-almost forgot
48.24 hr mamak stalls
49. Shiela majid
50. Air Asia-best and cheapest way to holiday

yups, i think that's it so far. sorry if i didn't think of anything else

I m coming back to Seremban

2007-08-29T12:44:00.001+08:00

Huh, 2 months of me not writing anything. I'm just plain lazy, u all can understand that. The last time i wrote, it was before my minor posting exams. The mcq was okay, but the ospe was sort of a killer. I really think i'll do dermato for specialisation, even though many people think its boring. I hate opthalmo and ent, cos my anatomy has never been strong.

Ive been in kuching for the past two months doing selective and elective at sarawak hospital. I did internal med, and it was great. I am going back to work in kuching. Honestly, there is a big difference between hospital staff in the semenanjung and here. I find ppl here are more friendly, and doctors here are nicer. Even if they think you're an idiot, they still teach you. I had an unfortunate run in with a cocky mo who got pissed with me because i couldn't tell him much about femoral dialysis.

One thing is that everytime a med student is from a private medical uni or from russia i do think they look down on them. Unless you're from uk, australia and nz. I guess its the glamor of studying in those countries. The doctors here like to ask tons of questions. I guess once you sort of can answer those questions, they'll treat you like any other med student. But i have to give my hat off to UM graduates. They honestly are the best. Sometimes i feel like i shouldn't have screwed up my matriculation days. I probably might have graduated from there. But the past is the past.

The specialist, mo and ho that i was with were very nice. it is a givne fact that once i become a ho, i will be moderately depressed every day. The workload for doctors working in sarawak is terrible. Can you imagine that you've just finished your housemanship and you get thrown to some district hospital and you're the one who has to make a decision for everything? Not to mention doing procedures like chest tube, lumbar puncture during your ho training? I'll admit, i'm scared to death about my ho posting here.

I just finished my posting in the emergency department, and the specialist says i suck in answereing questions. I do notice i always beat around the bush (even though my answers are correct). I easily get flustered when someone asks me questions and i just shoot whatever comes out from my mouth. Guess i gotta improve myself again.

The obstetrics here is also not bad. UNIMAS students have to do 10 deliveries and 10 episiotomies before graduating. How about IMU? i'm not sure. I just absolutely hate it sometimes when they think that private students are lousier than public grads. Hopefully by the time i'm a ho i can prove to them that private students are just as equal to anyone from public u's.

I did my a n e posting with michelle, and it was fun. We got to see a lot of cases, and if you read her blog, she wrote about jering induced nephropathy. Only in Sarawak!! And yes, when i did my 2 months posting here there were so many other students from russia. they told me they have to come every year. thank god imu just sends us twice. Most of them were friendly, a few jpa students were quite snobbish. And almost all of them are girls.

There are also white students from uk and elsewhere, and yes, they get a little bit more attention, but its not so drastic as getting them to meet the state health director. most of them are interested in seeing tropical deseases. and mulu caves. and sarawak cultural village. and iban longhouses. but other than that, they're treated just like anyone else.

There's one cardiologist, dr allan who was so nice as to take a huge number of students during his ward round. everytime he comes to the medical ward, he looks just like a shepherd with a flock of sheep. Its pretty amusing. But he's a great teacher, and he does teach a lot. ONe thing i like about the docs here is that they teach when they have the time. or ask you tons of questions. its so unlike seremban.

As for studying here, i don't get to do a lot of practical stuff. At the a n e for instance, i can try setting a cannula on a patient one time ONLY. In the wards, the nurses forbid us to do any cannulas unless we ask the doctors. They are so worried we'll cause pain that honestly, i gotta say my medical skill sucks. I really , really hope i get to do more stuff in sem 10. I'm honestly worried for myself because in sarawak if i ever do get thrown into the backwaters i don't want to be or look incompetent. What to do.....

Some really interesting cases i saw in these 2 months: Jering nephropathy, SLE with cardiac asystole (real drama in the ward), septic shock, dengue haemorrhagic fever, acute psychotic disorder, typoid fever (it seems to be common here), staph aureus sepsis, aortic stenosis, infective endocarditis, and LOTs of alcoholic liver disease. every day i see about 2-3 male patients with alcoholic liver. People here do drink a lot.

Sarawak is unique. I love the culture, the people and the food. When i was in the hospital, most of the patients are those with very little education,mostly farmers and living in the small towns or kampungs. It makes me want to give back to my state, because there is so much that i can do for them. Ask anyone of my batch mates, and most of them want to work in sabah. So far, only i 1 person who is a non sarawakian wants to come here for housemanship. Kinda sad, but i guess Sabah is more exciting for them.

As for meeting michelle again at the a n e, it was good....there were so many things for us to talk about, so many news to catch up on. But a bulk of our conversations were about politics, politicians, red tape etc. Somehow both of us have the same views about many things. We both agreed that our Yang Berhormat's should have more intelligent conversations in parliament rather than say, debating whether women should wear lipstick to the office.

In singapore, those in parliament have at least a degree. Lee kuan yew was from Harvard and was best student in something. Here, not many of them have a degree. I dont mean to insult them, but it does affect the intelligence of conversation at the dewan rakyat. Sometimes when i read about the things they discuss in parliament, i just shake my head. Its no point laughing or crying anymore.

It is true that we have world class facilities but 3rd class mentalities. Take a look at the bus crash at perak. 22 lives are gone and the mother of the bus driver refuses to accept her son is guilty just because he has had so many summonses in the past. And bus companies just want to make more money. Sometimes all of us can be so selfish that we forget to think about others. Why is it neighbouring countries like australia and new zealand don't have bus crashes?

To me, its the way they take pride in their job. In new zealand for example, they really adhere to the rules, make sure people wear seat belts and have regular driver changes after a certain number of hours. I dunno how much they are paid, but the thing is when they do a job, they make sure they do it well. Here, we just shut up and pray hard whenever the bus driver drives like a speed demon.

What about the people in the rural areas? There is much progress in terms of facilites being built. But if any of you were to go to parkson during the weekends or weekdays, its just full of young teens loitering around, and disturbing ppl. I went to buy movie tickets once and there were some teen boys outside the building playing with dirt. Weird, isn't it, until you think that they might have been high from sniffing glue. And that was on a weekday.

Nobody tells young ppl living in the longhouses, kampungs, small towns that education is a good way to get out of poverty. And i see so many of them jobless or taking up small jobs. Those who cant' find work resort to stealing. And it saddens me because majority of them are the dayaks. Of course the dayaks who live in town are different.These are the people that need help, and i am sad that the poverty cycle repeats itself again.

Rantings from a young adult. Anyways, semester 9 is starting next week. I'm going to start with surgery first and end with radiology/anes. I'm starting to pray hard i pass my exams. The lecturers have promised to bring us down. And i just want to finish my student years so i can go back to kuching :)

I m coming back to Seremban

2007-08-29T12:44:00.000+08:00

What to get?

2007-06-16T08:17:00.000+08:00

Its almost a week to the selectives and electives, and here i am slaving away to study for next weeks exam. My gripe is that the minor postings are so packed, and we only have to weeks to study a particular topic. I mean, how do i finish ophthalmo in just 2 weeks? Its crazy. and i hate mcq's, they tend to ask the bigger picture of things, when in fact ive just studied 40% of the subject.
I think i might not watch fantastic 4, because its been receiving lukewarm reviews in the papers. The thought of chris evans shirtless in the movie is VERY tempting though:

See what i mean....this guy takes his shirt off sometime in the movie. Right now i think he's the hottest young male, next comes Matthew McCoughnney ( i can't be bothered to spell his name) and Keanu.

Since the pink dolphin already has a pet dog, i'm seriously thinking of getting one too. I've always wanted a dog and a cat since i was young, but my parents objected. I think the smell of shit in the front yard, and the fact that they have to spend tons of cash just to look after one is too much.

I'm going to grad by next august, and i think i have 3 months break before i start to work, and i most probably will be in Canada for a month. That leaves me 2 months to buy a dog, train it and do all the necessary medical checkups, deworming etc. Im a bit scared at the same time, cos before this all i ever had was a pet hamster and fish. And there's not much work to do taking care of those pets. I most likely will get a toy dog, and below are the candidates:

My first choice would be a daschund, simply because i love its shape and short legs. Its also because of a similar dog that i would always see when i walk to school. It never fails to greet me every morning and its so cute when it walks with its short legs. I hope i can find this breed for sale easily.

Next is the shih-tzu

According to the dog websites, this is the perfect type for those who are not active and prefer lap dogs (aka me). And its just soooooo cute

Third is the tibetan spaniel

Notice that it has a sausage shaped body and short legs. It also has a good temperament.

I'm just hoping that these dogs esp the daschund and spaniel are easily available. If not, i'd have to settle with a shih tzu. And NO chihuahuas and poodles for me, sorry.

Lite and easy has jazz nites on the weekdays and i love this song by Sade, Kiss of Life. Its just makes me think of holidaying someplace nice.

Yo-ho yo-ho, a pirates life i lead

2007-05-25T10:12:00.000+08:00

hehehehhe....i'm gonna watch witty Jack this saturday. Damn! Its the last of the trilogy. Kudos to johnny depp for making pirates look sexy and cool. Now if only they brushed their teeth....My poor dad had to line up last saturday to buy the tickets. if i were to buy it today, chances are i'm gonna sit in the front row again and sprain another ankle. i'm sad to report that iwon't be going to the rainforest music festival because all the tickets have been sold out, and my parents can't make it. Sob.

I'm finished my two weeks posting at the emergency department. my first week was interesting. i was on the morning shift, and on the first day itself i got to do cpr on a patient. Unfortunately he didn't make it through. another interesting case was when a patient was involved in a motor vehicle accident and fractured his mid femur and tibia and fibula. it was graded Gustillo type 3c, yang paling teruklah. the poor man had to be referred to UMMC, where he'll be undergoing a vascular graft. Otherwise, most of the cases are asthma, chest pain, trauma, but no poisoning.

I've been playing a lot of online games, one of them is Neopets. Its an online virtual pet thingy, and i'm sadly addicted to it. Since i don't have tv, i dunno what to do in my spare time. There is youtube, but it takes so long to upload. My current favourite is the Simpson's clips. Gotta love that crazy family!

Ill be back to sarawak in july and august, doing my selectives and electives. its scary because i'm the only one there. my grand plan is to deliver as many babies as i can in a two week period. I'm also actually thinking of working part time or voluntarily at a pet shop, doing grooming for dogs or cats. I like animals, and until i start working, i can't own one. My entire family have vowed to wash their hands of my future pet (probably a cute little sausage dog) because they don't like handling pet shit. Its enough for them that stray cats keep dropping their dung on my front yard.

I also wanted to write about our crackpot local politicians and the way they just let loose in parliament, until this morning when i read an article in the NST about jokers. The writer was saying that we can make jokes, but of course at the appropriate time-lah. He was saying that if were to make gay jokes in the US, we'd be labelled a homophobic. Anyone seen Russell Peters? i watched his skit once, courtesy of a friend, and that guy makes fun of EVERYONE, but no one cares because its harmless. At the end of the day, those funny traits are what makes each of our cultures unique. So i shall clamp my mouth and try to be a bit less rigid. Those of you who want to know what our zany politicians have been up to can read the Star or NST online. And it seems our government buildings have been breaking down, one way or another. Just yesterday, the new court building in Jalan Duta was swamped with water up to 7 cm , from a burst pipe. How can wan.... the building is brand new man, just opened a few months ago. But knowing that this is Malaysia, it willl be swept underneath the carpet by next week.

Paris Hilton is going to jail soon, and she's been spotted toting a couple of holy books with her, ranging from the Bible, to self-help books to buddhism. I hope she goes to jail longer. Yeah yeah, i memang suka gossip kan? But i don't care. Anyone wants to label the world's number one gossip, go ahead. Its been in my body system ever since i was in st tri, and those were the best years of my life :)

Elliot Yamin of last year's American Idol has just released his album, and i like on e of the singles. Lets see if i can find it on youtube:

Its called 'wait for you'. I was hooked on him when i heard him sing Moody's Mood for love. His voice is so rich.

oklah,i gotta go back to kay-el soon.

Spiderman....spiderman

2007-05-06T17:28:00.000+08:00

Whazzup!

Venom in the comics is more vile that the one in the movie. I watched it last week, and thanks to dear ol' dad, we managed to get tickets. The cinemas were full on the opening day itself, and we sat in the front row. Luckily they modified the seats, so we didn't have to strain our necks. I was very unfortunate that i sprained my ankle on the way to my seat. I was happily going down the stairs holding my popcorn and coke, when the theatre went dim suddenly, and i lost my footing. And i was wearing heels. The pain!! Luckily i bought coke, so i had to put the cold cup over my foot for the first 10 minutes of the movie. My verdict? I liked the movie, no matter what the critics say. It was very entertaining, and i loved Sandman. I'm a bit sad that Venom wasn't nasty enough. And Harry Osbourne.........mmmhmmmmmm.....My dad is watching the movie twice, cos my grandma and brother didn't watch it yet. Thank you May for having great movies. I am going to watch Pirates 3 and Shrek 3, even if i have to starve for a week.
I'm doing my minor posting now, starting with ophthalmology. I have No intention of being an eye specialist. I saw a cataract removal surgery being done last week, and it made me feel squishy. Imagine its your eyes under the bright lights of the OT, and the drs are doing an incision at your cornea, then taking away your lens by vacuuming it and cutting it up to pieces. Yikes, give me plain ol'surgery any day. There's a lot of things to read for opthalmo, and i'm strapped to my chair most of the time. My posting's only 2 weeks, and i gotta cram a book with 400 pages into two weeks. sigh.
My brother is enjoying his holiday in kuching right now. wish i could do the same. Its funny that i miss him a lot more than i did last time. We were honestly cats and dogs. We even punched each other when we were young kids. A 6 age gap between us did not make us as close as other sibling would. But growing up brings maturity, and even though he's still the youngest, i guess our relationship is getting better. We still love to irritate each other though. Some things will never change.
Mother's day is next weekend, and i'm not sure what to get for my mother. I thought of getting body shop stuff, but my brother said it was too boring. He plans to get a book for her. Maybe we'll just share it. I can't wait to start working. I can't wait to finish studying, for once. Just a break for a few years before i start studying again. Seremban is being bloody hot. I couldn't sleep last night because my room was like an oven, and i was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. Why did i have to be born in a country near the Equator? I know i was supposed to go out with dida last week. Sorry girl, i didn't know that i didn't have a holiday instead. I looked at the old schedule.
And to all my old classmates and schoolmates, is there anyone out there that truly feels happy being single? I feel weird because i don't have the desire to look for a boyfriend, much less the desire to get married. I was thinking about it one day, and if i really couldn't find anyone, i would be happy to stay solo, live in an upmarket condo, and just have pets for company. my mom says its because i haven't found someone i really liked. It could be, but nowadays, whenever i see couples hanging out together, it doesn't make me feel like i miss anything in my life. Last time i used to wonder why i couldn't get a guy. it was either me being too picky, not socialising enough, or me not being attractive. Now, i don't really give a damn. I just take life as it comes.
World Music Rainforest......i'm finally going to be able to watch it this year now that i'll be in kuching in august. it would be nice to relax in damai and enjoy the atmosphere. Anyone else planning to go there?

here is lilly allen with her infectious song 'smile'. I love her slang!

And, because the bush administration is coming to an end, this is the second tribute i have for g. bush:

this drives me crazy

2007-04-14T14:19:00.000+08:00

check out the latest single by timbaland. Its my most played music of the week.

will ferell as george bush part 1

2007-04-14T12:11:00.001+08:00

save room by john legend

2007-03-29T22:20:00.001+08:00

Ignore the xxx-scenes in the beginning if youré the squishy type.

He makes my blood flow

2007-03-29T22:11:00.000+08:00

Mmmmm....anyone in a lovey-dovey mood should try listening to john legend. He's a real smooth crooner. He just has to stand in front of me and i'll melt into a puddle!! these are two of my favourite songs from his latest album. the first is we dont'care, the second is called save room.

Isn't he hot?

Little britain

2007-03-29T22:03:00.001+08:00

ok, after days of trying to post some videos, i finally got it right. yeah, yeah, i'm an old makcik who's not tech-savvy.
below is a scene from one of my favourite comedy shows, little britain. it makes fun of everyone in the uk, and this is one of my favourite characters, CArol beer.

2007-03-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

my broken spirit

2007-03-27T19:14:00.000+08:00

How do you tell a person who's just insulted you that enough is enough? That you would never insult a person about their physical traits or the way they speak/behave? I can't. I can never tell a person off, unless i am absolutely furious with rage, and let the person have my anger. I did it once, and i never want to do it again. The effect it had on both me and the scolded person was a lesson i learned in my young age.
I am naturally an easy person to get along with.I'm quiet, unassuming,i mind my own business and generally i wouldn't give a damn about how you look like, what your family background is, and what you're working as, as long as you are a good person and i can trust you. I also seldom make fun of people, but when i do, the other person has a right to insult me back.
Very few people have ever insulted me about my height, and i am very sensitive about that.They were either insulting me behind my back, or just didn't care how tall i was. But i get extremely pissed off when people insult me just to make themselves feel good, or to boost their f***ing low self-esteems high. They may just be joking with me, or unintentionally say things, but you know what, the things that comes out from your mouth tells me a lot of things about your character.
If i could have insulted them till they cried, i would. But i would just be as bad as them, and i would degrade myself to the level of a teenage schoolgirl. To all those people who get teased in whatsoever way till they feel bad about themselves, don't worry. I know how you guys feel. At the ripe old age of 26,i'm supposed to be busy with other things, but instead i have to vent my anger on this blog.
And to all those people who deliberately/non-deliberately insult others, insult behind our backs, or if you do want to insult us to our face, at least have the guts to admit to yourself that your own self-esteem sucks like a stagnant water drain.
On my part, i realise that i can be too sensitive at times. I tend to take comments about my height/weight as a personal insult. I also realise there are a lot of bitchy people in the world. I have tried very hard since my uni days to dismiss the hurt i feel. I have very much improved since my teenage days, but i still feel the sting now and then. It hurts, of course it does, and for that is why i am extra careful about making people close to me. Once you learn, you never forget.

psychiatry part 2

2007-03-25T18:32:00.000+08:00

i'll be doing my last week of psychiatry soon. And after this...Family medicine. Scary!

The lazy bug is still in me. This afternoon i went to the hospital to clerk patients for tomorrow's presentation. I was in the geriatric ward and had to find pts aged 65 and above. clerking the elderly is a bit like clerking young children, you have to be patient with both. I spent 3 hours in the afternoon just looking for suitable cases, and am totally tired now.
Last week i went to a geriatric clinic to see how patients are managed. There was this cute little old lady who came from a nursing home. She was about my height (which is short), her hair was short and parted to one side, and she had big bottle glasses on her face. She was absolutely a darling! THe moment she walked in, yuhana and i were just looking at her. And when she sat down, she said 'adoi'. She also had a high pitched voice, not exactly like alvin and the chipmunks, but a few tones lower. Which made her more adorable. What makes her stand out is that there is a cheerful expression on her face, and you can see that if you were to talk to her, she would be more than happy to. Yuhana started a conversation with her, and she was talking cheerfully. Then she got to the part where she said that she was put at the old folks' home because her children and grandchildren were too busy too look after her, and that they seldom see her. Then my eyes started tearing up. if one were to go to an old folk's home, its an eye opener. Most of the old folks are very happy that youngsters come to see them. The sadness on their faces disappears for a little while.
It was the same thing at the geriatric clinic that day. Most of the patients who came in had a sad feeling/sad aura. Even though on the outside they look okay, but you can see that it hurts them that they have no one to take care of them. Maybe there is a reason why some of them are put at old folk's home, for example, they need extra care round the clock, and there's no one at home who can do that. Or, they have some form of delirium/dementia. But if they are put there for no good reason, its not a good thing to do, yeah? I have a grandma at home who has sacrificed so much for me in my 26 years. Every time i come back to kch, she would pamper me as usual. So, the thought of me putting her in an old folks' home is just unimaginable. THe same can be said for my parents. I'm not judging or condemning anyone, i just think its sad that we don't take care of them after what they've done for us.
Speaking of which, i personally hope that children who've been brought up from orphanages do well in life. Yeah, i seldom go to orphanages, but secretly i pray that they will succeed in life, get scholarships to study and help their homes in turn. Sometimes i get upset when things don't turn out my way/i always demand too much from my parents. At other times, i feel lucky that i do have parents, and that i'm blessed enough to do what i love, and to have the 3 essential things any human being should have.
When we read stories/books in the paper about young children in africa who are made to be soldiers for warlords, or who are raped or orphaned at a young age, that's when i realise that life is bigger than just caring about myself. I hate it when i read about circumcision for girls, and the fact that most children in the world don't have a proper education, a proper home, and so on. I can't do anything about it for the moment, but it has made me to be a less selfish person, and to be happy with what i have.
I saw pan's labyrinth last week, and primeval and mr. bean this week. Pan's is quite a depressing story, but the script is excellent, and it just wants to tell that hell can also occur on earth. The actors are good, and when i watched the movie, it made me think of the japanese occupation in malaya. Ofelia's father, the captain, had his own tools of torture, which made me cringe! primeval is you basic killer eater croc, but it also had a background story about the warfare going on in africa. As for mr. bean, sometimes i was irritated with his action, and sometimes it was so funny i was laughing like a hyena. its sad that this will be his last movie....he has inspired me to try and drive a mini cooper at least once...i'll try my best to find a mini cooper owning friend in kch.
I'm really tired, will nap soon. The trailer for pirates 3 is excellent. How can anyone not fall in love with captain jack sparrow? He's such a charmer.

too many As

2007-03-15T18:49:00.000+08:00

once again the result season is out. The nationwide hunt to find out who the top scorer is starting. The highest number of subjects taken is 19. out of the hundreds of thousands of canditates, only less than 200 take more than 12 subjects. shall i start my criticism?

What were those students thinking? That by taking more than 12 subjects and scoring as many As as possible, will give them an advantage over a candidate that takes only the necessary subjects? I asked my classmate this question, and she thought that maybe they are not sure about what they want to study next. True, its possible. i have no doubt that they are the brainiest students our country has, and that it was hard work alone, and a bit of genetics, that got them their wonderful results. But some students in the science stream are also taking general science, and other minor papers that got them the extra As. General science is basically for the arts stream, and a simplified version of the science subjects that they learned. I don't get it. Why torture yourself by taking so many subjects? of course its a challenge, academically, but what about other things in life? Again, ppl would say that these students also excel in their co-curricular studies, being president of this club, and that club....The point of all my criticism is that students should just take the subjects which they really need, and maybe are interested in. I think the rush to obtain scholarships to study overseas is the major factor in this rush for As.
I still feel lucky that my spm was in the 90's. During those times, the highest result achievable was 9 or 10A1s. and i had a lot of fun in my form 4 and form 5, no thanks to a zany bunch of friends.
I do hope the Education Ministry won't encourage this trend of taking too many As. There are a lot of other things we need to do to ensure our youngsters become good adults. For example, teaching them to be courteous,polite, and not to be so kiasu. Just look at the malaysian drivers and the number of accidents that are increasing. There is also a need to have our students to think broad mindedly, to look at the world affairs, and to develop their habit of speaking what is on their minds, to be creative, to be confident, and to increase the standard of english. So many things that we can improve on, and its not just the results on paper that will make everything work for us.I say all of the above, because that's where i feel that i lack, and even though i've improved a bit, i can't compare myself to those graduates from european or american unis. My problem, till today is the fear of making my opinions known, of keeping quiet during a discussion even though i have many things to say. And also, i know no one will teach us manners, no one will tell us when to be courteous. But we can learn from the people around us, can't we? The Education Ministry keeps saying that it wants to improve the education system in the country, but it keeps saying that yearly, and i think the ones that will suffer in the end will be the youngsters.
It will be the end of my orthopaedics posting, and i'm glad i'm gonna finish it. its fun, but i don't see myself realigning patient's bones. Can you imagine little ol'me realigning the bones of a patient with a build like the Rock? Last week, my aunts and cousins watched Akademi Fantasia. I didn't bother watching it because its so predictable. But i've watched Heroes, and i think its not bad at all. I HAVE to watch a movie this weekend. My brother's coming down, and i'm trying to encourage him to either watch Pan's labyrinth or Primeval. Me and crocs just get along well.
Primeval is based on a real life story. There's this croc that lives in Zambia and his name is Gustav. He's apparently eaten 300 people so far and is still at large. He developed a taste for humans as a result of the war in zambia, where bodies were just thrown into the river.
My next posting will be psychiatry, and i have to interview patients in the wards. Previously, i was just seeing patients at the psychiatric ward. Now, i'm supposed to ask them how it feels like to be in the hospital, and how was their reaction when they got the bad news. As long as i get to see some docs that i like in the psych ward, i'm a pretty happy girl!
Another one of my ex-uni mate has just gotten married. This time its Farnidah, congrats to her! Thank god my mum never asks me when i plan to get married/do i have a boyfriend. My aunts just can't wait for me to tie the knot. They want to have another baby in the family....I'm not ready yet. Marriage is a big thing for me. And i don't mind marrying in my 30's.

Semester 8, here i come!

2007-03-06T12:57:00.000+08:00

sheesh, its been a long time since i've bothered to write anything down at all. i was just lazy. i had a hell of a time with my exams, i had 2 weeks of a holiday break, and i'm back in seremban again. i enjoyed chinese new year with my family, we had a good dinner while there were fireworks in the sky. i went house visiting with still more food,and i slept and played computer games nonstop. i fell sick during the following week, probably because of too much late night sleeping, and because of that i've to suffer with a blocked nose. All my batchmates passed the exams, and it was a really good feeling, we've been made to suffer for quite some time. The euphoria is short-lived, however, as my batch is currently getting a beating by our lecturers again. It is quite frustrating sometimes to forget whatever that you've learned. Take me for example. i'm starting with ortho again, and despite it being my last posting last semester, i still can't remember some crucial stuff. And it doesn't help when your other group memebers are also brainy as well. my major problem in ortho has to be the nerve injuries, it keeps slipping from my mind. And i heard my mates in other postings are also getting a beating from the other lecturers. Sometimes it would be nice to just about keep everything in your head, isn't it? i thought semester 8 would be nice, but it turns out tougher than semester 7. well, its 4 months of me in seremban, then i get to go back to kuching for another 2 months to complete my selectives and electives.

I wonder why ilove characters in fiction books. Take for example my crush on this character called pendergast (created by douglas preston and lincoln child). He is described as being tall, with pale skin, pale blond hair and blue eyes. He comes with a high IQ, comes from a southern family that happens to be rich and mad at the same time, and is an FBI agent. And i can't get enough of this guy. Another character i'm attached to is called lincoln rhymes, but i forgot who is author is. He also has the same characteristics as pendergast, but he is a tetraplegic. If i could, i would buy all the books i'm interested in. I also had a good time watching movies. The next movie i want to watch is called Primeval, about a 20 foot long croc that loves devouring humans. I've watched borat, its funny at times, and really stupid at times. No wander Kazakhstan is angry with the movie.

Did Martin scorcese deserve an oscar for best director? Yes. But i don't think his movie deserved a best picture. The malaysian stars were, ironically dressed in evening gowns and tuxedos to have a glitzy breakfast while watching oscars. Sometimes you wonder who comes up with all these sort of ideas. My house nearly got robbed again, and i'm pissed off, because it seems that certain humans just want to have an easy life taking other people's things. And the thief attempted to open the window to the study room where i play my pc games every night.

Lent has also started and i'm on my best behaviour this season. Since i didn't observe lent last year, i'll try my best this time around. I wish that some priests would be more interesting when they preach, but i guess some things never change.

god does exist

2007-01-08T17:23:00.000+08:00

so....xmas is over, new year's is over, and i have less than a month for my finals. I have to study for finals, long case, and 2 mcq's. its enough to drive anyone crazy. and sorry, i dont' have time to listen to anyone's complaints/whining until the end of chinese new year, because i am going to be selfish, and make sure i pass this finals. I do NOT want to waste my parents money, or my time, because i am getting old. almost everyone is getting a bf and getting married. I on the other hand am still single and blessed with big eye bags.
now i'm in my orthopaedics posting. i find this a challenge, because whenever anatomy is concerned, i have problems remembering everything. and the clinical examinations are numerous. Not to mention all the nerves that are involved. Sometimes i really wonder how i'm going to pass everything.
Today, i lost my wallet. yes, i thought i lost it because on my way back from class, i was about to dig into my bag and pull out my wallet to pay something. and it wasn't there. At that time, i was in a friends' car. And his bag was next to mine, and ZIPPED up. YOu'll understand later why i emphasise the fact that his bag was shut tight. so poor me was dumping everything out of the bag, searching his car, then searching the entire school for my wallet. I even asked my classmates if they saw my wallet.
I don't mind if money is lost, but its my ic and driving license that i'm particular about. Those from sarawak would understand that an ic shortens time at the immigration booth on our touchdown at any s'wak airport. we don't have to fill up so many forms. anyway, i got depressed and was prepared to go to make a police report the next day. Half an hour after sending me, my friend called up and told me he found my wallet sitting on top of his bag, which was zipped tight, and which was locked in the car. After sending me, he went back to uni to pass up something. when he opened his bag at first, he didn't see my wallet AT ALL. and he swore by this. and he left his bag in the car and locked the car. When he came back, the wallet was sitting on top of his books. He himself was puzzled by it, and so am i. I mean, it is possible that my wallet accidentally dropped into his bag. But his bag was closed when i opened mine, and if it was already inside, he would've noticed it when he first opened his bag after sending me.
I told him a ghost probably stole it and put it in his bag. But honestly, his bag wasn't really close to mine in the first place. Does anyone think that God did help me after reading this? I hope so, because i believe He did. Anyone else who thinks i'm having a delusion or am going crazy would probably be right too, but i just can't explain it. maybe my wallet does have special powers after all. But dear God, thanks for saving me the hassle of going to the police station tomorrow.

its the holiday season!

2006-12-21T06:43:00.000+08:00

i am guilty of not updating my blog for a month. i just feeeeeeeeeeeeel lazy. Yesterday was the long case exam of my psychiatric posting. i had to clark a case which was diagnosed as mental retardation with psychosis and depression. Talk about tough! i diagnosed the case as adjustment disorder, because the patient told me her own story. in cases like this, a complete picture of the situation is needed from the other family members. I should pass though, but when i heard of the true diagnosis, i was so flabbergasted. Just goes to show that in psychiatry, nothing is definite.
I have a month before my final end of semester exams. hmmmm, my progression is slow, and i have so many things to study. i hate the fact that i have to do case reports, research and have 2mcq papers in one posting. sometimes its a bit overwhelming. funnily though, i handle this stress by imagining that i'm smoking cigarettes. Even though i know smoking is bad, i still think if i were to try smoking, i would like it. Blame those cigarrette ads!!
After 5 weeks of posting in psych, i have come to fear psych patients less. The first time i went to the ward, i was scared of those patients, and what they would do to me if they suddenly went into a rage. but by the second week, i was beginning to enjoy myself. and i found out they are no different from you and me, and sometimes sad events in their lives made them become like that. I have encountered around 10 cases where patients lost control of their lives because of a sad past.
A few of my ex-primary and secondary school friends have married this past year. I hope they have a happy marriage, and i also hope they'll have gorgeous kids! congratulations to emily, diana thian, joyce ho, jenny jee, and josephine kueh. if its my turn to get married, i will definitely inform everyone, but pls be prepared to book your own air asia flights :)
AAaargh, i can't wait to go back for christmas. i want to see all my cousins and aunts again. the best thing about family gatherings is that i get to update my news on everyone. And get to go a bit crazy once in a while. also,i want to see how my cousins have been growing up. I haven't seen some for many years. and i miss the christmas mass in st joe's church,i hope my parents are 'rajin' enough to go for the midnite mass this year. When the choir sings carols at midnite, it always makes my hair stand, its that meaningful. It always reminds me of how special Jesus is and how grateful i am that he was born into this world for us.
Ho-hum, i am definitely getting a handphone for xmas, and i most probably will be getting a nokia,but i'm not sure what type. The worst part is having to negotiate with my parents which type to buy. Man, i hope my aunts give me some extra cash so i can spend a bit more.

anyway, here's a Merry christmas to everyone. Enjoy your holidays!!!!!

the holiday season is here!

2006-11-26T17:27:00.000+08:00

aloha, aloha! after a long hiatus i'm back again. just came back from kl after a month of torture. I had 3 exams 2 weeks ago, and 1 of them was a total killer! needless to say, i will most probably fail that paper,and hopefully that will be the only time i fail. next week will be my second week of psychiatry posting. the first time i went to the ward, i was scared shit of the patients, but now i'm getting used to it. The patients i've interviewed can get as normal as you and me, but with some issues. There are some really sad stories as to how some of them got there. One was this patient who had to take care of her mother, and the mother beat her up everyday to the point that she can't talk till today. Sad, isn't it? and there are a lot of terms in psychiatry. its also not that relaxing as i thought it was.

all my cousins are in kl now for the school holidays, and guess what...i am fatter than all of them!!my mum is horrified that i am not thin, but actually i can't care less. As much as i hate my boobs sometimes, i gotta admit it is nice to have some curves. I don't mind my thighs getting smaller though...and i am sad to report that one of my girl cousins is dressing up like an ah L***. sad, sad. She has a good figure, but still can't match her clothes properly yet. Hopefully she'll learn in time.Why does everyone have to be thinner than me?

This weekend was one of my best, all my family members were in town, and i got some new stuff. My bro got an ipod nano (?), the one that can play videos, tv and store photo albums from my dad. I'm so jealous! His things always seem to be better than mine. Mum just got a new honda accord. its not bad, the interior is very comfortable, and the ride is smooth, espcially when it comes to bumps. I still want a mercedes c-compressor as a ride. its just so sexy!

the family went to watch james bond at midvalley. i wasn't so enthusiastic , cos bond movies always have the stupid sexy women and the MAN that saves the world theme. but i do have to agree that it is the best bond movie in a long time, because it wasn't so slutty, there was actually good acting and because daniel craig's body is the hottest i've ever seen. I don't mind seeing him in the next bond movie actually. He's a good actor. Sigh...i want a guy with a body like that

The xmas season is coming and all the shops are busy putting up decorations. since xmas and my special day is coming up, i've thought of a few things that i might want:

1. Another swatch chrono
2. Branded sunglasses
3. A new Nokia handphone
4. Lesportsac handbag
5. Another perfume?

out of all the above, i most probably will ask for the handbag and sunglasses. Sadly, i wont be in kuching for the hols because i need to prepare for my exams. Sometimes i do think its fun to be a girl, because girls have so much fun shopping for stuff and dressing up to go out. I feel like getting myself a dress to, if my mum says yes. i haven't worn a dress since 2 years ago.

ON another note, yes, i am a spoiled girl, and my parents do spoil me and my brother terribly. They do pamper us alot, but i am grateful that i have parents who love me alot. Without them,i dont' think i would be the person i am today :) and its sad that i do take them for granted most of the time.

my laptop crashed

2006-10-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

its now 11.30 pm and i've just finished one report. sigh, i hate to do reports. its not so much about typing, but about What to type. And now my eyes are strained. I had been wanting to write this afternoon, but my laptop was being reformatted by a classmate. I did some internet updates which i wasn't suppposed to do, and in the end i got barred from accessing my computer. Worse, i had bought a new computer game that i was dying to try out yesterday. Can't imagine life without my comp, its my soulmate for the moment! Anyway, said classmate did a brilliant job of rescuing my comp. Not only were all my original files retained, he also added a few programs to protect me from internet viruses and spywares. I need to 'belanja' him KFC one day.
Microsoft Vista is coming out, supposedly by the end of this year,and my dad said its one heck of a program. I m supposed to get a new laptop next year. the current one is f***ing slow, and its so frustrating to see others going topspeed on their internets. I want a Toshiba. but i love my current laptop all the same, its serviced me well for 5 years, plus all my pics and songs are in here.
Has anyone realised it takes an hour to cook,but only 20 minutes to finish eating what we've cooked? Sungguh tak berbaloi! But i am proud to say that my cooking skills has increased a bit...if only a bit. I am hankering for pancakes, but my housemates are not so keen to eat it. I am also hankering for mcdonald's icecream, and some gelato. I'll have to wait to go back to kl tomorrow.
what i really wanted to write today was about our politicians. Yes...those politicians who seems to promise a lot during elections but fail to deliver, and instead build gigantic houses without permits on land meant for the poor. I've always had a thing to say against policitians, and the current national news just strengthens my belief that we malaysians are really not using our brains when it comes to choosing our wakil rakyat. Worse still, no one dares to report them when they have done something which is against the law, and these politicians just get bolder and bolder till they believe they are above everyone else. Don't blame me for not voting; i don't feel like it. and don't ask me why i shouldn't join politics to make a change. One voice can of course make a difference, but i am not willing to sacrifice so much of myself for the thousands of others. its not my destiny. but for the 1or 2percent of honest politicians out there, i salute them for doing what they do. Its not easy to be straight when everyone else is crooked. why are we so pea brained to vote for these people? Its not as if they all have Phd's or something. most of them are like you or me. Why???
Another one involves the issue of a long overdue meeting between the Pm and ex-Pm. It was supposed to be a confidential meeting, and the next day all that transpired appears on the national newspapers. I respect both of them, but i have ABSOLUTE confidence that the PM knows what he is doing, and if we give him our support and be patient, i'm sure he can make a change. Its easy to critisize, but its different when you're in the hot seat.
Another interesting article appeared last weekend, when this columnist was telling about how her relatives who migrated overseas would send her emails regarding our country and how bad things are. She wondered why those relatives have to mail her news that which she already knows of, and said that no matter how bad things are, she stays in this country because she loves it and can't imagine living anywhere else in the world. She ended by saying 'heaven is where you make of it'. I think it is true what she says. I have no problems of people migrating, that is their business and i wish them luck. But it smacks of rudeness when they start critisizing the country which they were born, and which gave them the oppportunity to migrate in the first place. I think every country has its own problems, and its up to the people to find beauty in everyday life. Sure, some things need to be changed, but our country is actually a very nice place to live in. I also take my life for granted, until i visited other countries and saw the different cultures and policies. So yea, home is where the heart is!

happy holidays

2006-10-22T12:02:00.000+08:00

ahh, the holidays are finally here! It was deepavali yesterday, and Seremban town was so quiet. i'm starting my mornings by waking up around 8.30 am. anything later than that and i'll get a headache. After a week of stress, its certainly good to just let things kick back and relax. I don't plan to go to kl for this moment cos my condo's empty. My mum has gone back to sarawak,and what's the use of staying in kl alone? This morning my housemates n i went to the morning market in Seremban town to buy our supplies for next week. We took a taxi there. Initially we planned to go earlier, but everyone woke up late. Its big, a 2 storey building, and ironically cleaner than the padungan market in kuching. the 3 of us plan to cook our dinners in the evening. Don't ask me what the outcome of my cooking will be, as long as its palatable we'll eat it. so far, i plan to cook chicken soup, kicap chicken, marinated pork ribs and kicap pork. AND try to fry some mushrooms in the process. We then went to eat at the second floor of the building. the hawkers there have a funny rule. they allocate themselves tables. if it so happens that you sit on their table, you must order from their shop and not from any other. its really irritating because i think as a consumer i have a right to sit where i want to. And what if the tables belonging to another hawker are all full and i want to eat from their stall? I'll have to get used to their funny rules. My housemates are pretty pissed off by the whole thing and vow never to eat there again. One shop that stands out is the Seremban beef noodle. That's the only reason why i wanted to eat there. Their dry mee is quite good. the beef soup noodles are pretty much the same as anywhere else.
oklar, i've got to read up on my paeds now.

I'm so exhaused

2006-10-18T17:50:00.000+08:00

Yes, this is the week of hell for me. After a day at school, i have to go back to hospital every night to clark patients to prepare for tomorrow's session. what's different is that i didn't have to do this much work for other postings. Add to the fact that i HAVE to study again after i come back, its so exhausting for me. I have to send one case summary on friday, and tonight i have to learn about the induction of labour. Oh, i can't wait for friday. Its really killing me!!!
IN the last posting, i wrote about how women suffered during a vaginal delivery, and that i vowed to myself i would do a Caesarian section. Well, i take back my words. C-section is worse than vaginal delivery. Last weekend i was on-call at the labour room and i happened to see a case where a patient, a first time mother, had to do an operation. First they cut near the beneath the suprapubic area. Then, they make the cut bigger by pulling apart the subcutaneous tissue and fat with their own hands. Imagine doing that to all the layers of the skin, including the rectus abdominis, just to deliver the fetus. whew, i'm opting for a vaginal delivery anyday,even if they have to do an episiotomy on me.
tonight i have to go back to the wards again. Its really near the festive seasons, so not many patients are in the wards. I'm expecting a baby boom after hari raya. Imagine all the expectant mothers just holding on long enough until the festive seasons are over!!

Labour

2006-10-14T11:29:00.000+08:00

sigh. i just recovered from a bout of constipation in the morning. If anyone wants torture me in the future, all they have to do is make me constipated. If someone were to ask me if i would rather be constipated or having diarrhoea, i'd have the latter anytime, anyday. Its just like giving birth, something wants to come out but can't come out. so you have to push and push,and in the back of your mind there's always the thought of your anus getting torn off in the process. i solved the problem by taking some concentrated fiber drink, 1 big bottle of water and 1 banana. The torture i had to go through.
yesterday evening i spent my time in the labour room at the hospital and upon arriving i was fortunate to see a patient giving birth. Its amazing to see a woman's vagina dilating just to accomodate a baby's head. and when the head finally came through, i was so worried that the vagina might tear. sometimes if the vagina doesn't dilate enough, they cut it to make the birthing process easier. I keep telling myself again and again that i don't want to have a baby. Watching a woman give birth makes me feel sick. i can't imagine myself going through such pain. After the baby came out, the placenta came out next. the nurse had to pull out the placenta bit by bit. I was excited because it was the first ever placenta that i saw. I wanted to touch it but the nurse asked me to help her with something else. the part where they had to sew up the patient's vagina after the whole ordeal was the worst. i know the pain that they feel is considerably less than during the birthing process, but still, its a needle that's going into your flesh. Worse still, i can't imagine myself giving birth to babies and doing episiotomies on patients, without anaesthesia. I have ruled out specialising in obs and gynae. Let the men handle it.
Speaking of men, yesterday a first time mother requested that her husband be by her side when she gave birth, and he didn't dare to go into the labour room! I mean, come on, you made her pregnant in the first place,can't you at least have some guts to be with her? After all,she's the one who has to suffer, not you. I tell you, if the next time my husband does that, i swear i'll go out of the labour room and "ketuk' his head. sorry guys, but all you have had to do is to donate you sperm, and there's an endless supply of where that comes from. I wished god made both men and women able to give birth. I'm really thinking of having a c-section, but it takes a longer time to heal. and i can only have a max of 2-3 kids. Gee, i don't know.
Tomorrow i'll be on call again for the whole day. the next week will be hell for me because i have to interview my patients before the lecturer arrives in the morning. so every night i'll have to be at the hospital. In the mornings i have to be in the hospital by 7.15 am. Yup, its very tiring, but sooner or later i'll adjust to it.

Obs and gynae

2006-10-11T19:34:00.000+08:00

well,its 3 days since i've been posted to the obstetrics ward. And in a space of 3 days i've been called 'depressed' and 'lonely' by my lecturer. he's just joking of course, but its funny that i have 2 names already. i sound like a mental person don't i?
Its no secret that this posting is the busiest of all. we're supposed to know all the patients and do a lot of other clinical things besides, like doing a vaginal examination, go to the labour room and operation theatre and learn how to do a proper abdominal palpation. i always hate it during the first week of a new posting cos i have to adjust myself all over again. but i'm beginning to enjoy myself. i havent had the time to properly study yet. if you ask me about the theoretical part of obs, chances are i can't awnser you most of the time. since it is my clinical years, i would like to focus on how to be able to pick up the signs. but yeah, i know i should know a lot of stuff. sometimes i wished people don't expect to know everthing about medicine. i'm average, or maybe a little less, compared to others. true, i'm supposed to know broadly about a lot of topics, but i may not know in detail about every single little thing in medicine. i just don't have the time to read so much. even the lecturers hate to see students in the library all the time. it is true that we can learn so much from patients.
i didn't sleep so well for the first two days. i had to prepare a seminar on cardiotocography, something i'm ABSOLUTELY blank about. i had to go to the ward at night to look at the cases, then take the pictures with my camera, then prepare slides for it. i got slaughtered, but at least i did my work.
What i love about this posting is listening to fetal heart sounds, and palpating for the fetus. I feel happy whenever i can hear the fetus's heart rate, its like being given insight in to a new life, and knowing that its healthy and coming into this world.
I don't feel like getting pregnant next time (although i know this will change). the thought of my vagina strectching and the possibiliy of tears around the perineum, coupled with the labour pains makes me feel sick. If i had a choice, i'm going to go for a C-section.
I watched the devil wears prada. the clothes that anne hathaway wears are simply gorgeous. and so are the lead actors in the movie. I am completely in love with simon baker's character. Hey, i wouldn't mind a guy like that sweeping me off my feet, if only once in a lifetime! i also did some hard core shopping over the weekend, and bought myself 3 pairs of shoes. I got two sandals from vincci for 46 bucks. Not bad eh? i wanted to get some wedges, but it was too expenxive,plus my feet might be in agonising pain.
tonight i'm on call again. I want to finish clarking cases before tomorrow's presentation.

bye-bye paeds

2006-10-05T11:24:00.000+08:00

i had my exam this morning, and after all the studying, fretting and worrying i found out i was to clark a patient who was a newly diagnosed diabetic. i am happy that i got this case, but at the same time i wished i had the commoner cases seen in the ward aka acute bronciolitis, viral pneumonia, simple febrile fits. thank god i didn't get the more challenging cases. i would have died on the spot. i had to present to my examiner for 20 minutes. it was ok, i was nervous but i did not melt into a puddle on the floor. the worst moments were when i had to do a COMPLETE physical examination in 30 minutes flat. i was really sweating cos the cns and musculoskeletal examinations took 20 minutes alone. the remainding time i had to space out between the other 3 systems. Thank god again my patient was very accomodating and took it as some sort of game. now that its over i'm having post exam symptoms like headache, coryza and general lethargy. and i still have 2 more case reports and 2 more case summaries to write. i can't wait to go back to kl this friday and see my mum. i want to go out with her and let her spend all her hard earned cash on me :) i will be celebrating the end of exams by gorging on food. everyone's losing weight except me.

paeds final week

2006-10-01T21:35:00.000+08:00

it will be the 5th week of paeds, and how do i feel? sad that i'm going to leave this posting actually. when i first started out, i hated it because i couldn't stand the crying children and the difficulty in getting them to cooperate doing a phys exa. however as the weeks went by, i learnt how to be friendly with children and get them into letting me examine them. i have not gone back to kl for a month and during my 3rd week i missed my mom so much. the whole family visited me yesterday and i had a good lunch outing with them. my bro also bought me 1 big box of orange flavored chocs from langkawi. the next time he's flying down i want him to buy more biscuits for me. i can't help being a pig when it comes to food.
exam will be next thursday and i hope that i have sufficient brain memory to remember my stuff. this weekend i wanna shop for shoes. i hear there's raya sales everywhere. Shoes, shoes, i can't live without at least 5 different pairs. my ultimate purchase would be knee length black boots which i would wear with a skirt. i know i would look crazy if i were to wear it in kl. maybe i'll buy it before going somewhere for a holiday.
ramadan has started last week,and there's this ramadan bazaar just outside of my house. so far the food there is limited in choice but oklah. i would like to go to the bazaar at Ampangan. my classmate tells me they sell creme caramel for rm1.mmmm...
i also finally got net connection at my place, and i've been busy downloading tons of songs from the net. originally im supposed to be a good girl and use the net for research but i end up doing dumb stuff. the last frivolous thing i did was to check what aura i emit. it was a yellow. i don't know why i am so into this stuff like astrology, numerology etc. it just fascinates me. even though i know it can be crap and untrue,but sometimes i feel like at least 40% of what they say about me sounds true.
i plan to watch the Banquet starring zhang ziyi. its been a long time since i've watched a movie.

Karma

2006-09-12T15:36:00.000+08:00

last week i had a kindof deep conversation with a friend. it was about how to ignore the people who seem to make her life hell. Im sure we all remember the times we were in school and each of us were in our own little cliques. When i told her about life in my secondary school, she couldn't believe that there were so many different characters to be found just in one place. i told her then and there that the best place to send our daughters would be to a girls school because thats where they grow up fast and learn about other peoples's characters. to me, guys are more straightforward. you know what they really want to do according to their actions. but girls...are a bit more mysterious. if i were to equate girls with an animal, id have to say a cat. i don't know. there are so many different facets of a cat that seems to resemble a woman. Anyway, i've always been able to avoid direct catfights cos i either mind my own business/ i keep a low profile/ people do not want to mess with me. My ego sincerely hopes its the latter. i do feel sad for girls who have not matured and have not grown out of their secondary school days. i dont see the point of girls making fun of other girls and acting like they're the coolest people on the entire planet. I do believe that each of us should mature according to our time, and we should learn from our own mistakes. when i was in my early twenties, i did a lot of stupid things. but if i didnt do them and regretted my actions, i would have been doing it today. and that would be majorly embarassing.

I also believe god works in truly mysterious ways. Each of us here on earth has a specific mission to do, and no matter how we stray far away from our supposed path, he will always lead us back to it. And i believe that if we do want to be useful people on earth, if we are sincere and do ask god to let us be His instrument, he will awnser our prayer, but not in a way that we expect. And i'm sure i'm not the only one who has experienced this.

And finally, even though i am a christian, i fully believe in the laws of nature and Karma, whereby whatever you do will come back to you. I dunnolah, just that i got pissed of listening to my friend's story of how she got treated by people around her.

today i went to the paeds ward in PD. we clarked some cases and presented them to my lecturer. i am still having a problem in making up the differential diagnoses for the different cases. Paeds to me is not that hard to study. the hardest thing is to take an excellent history and to be superobservant. And its true that 80% of your provisional diagnoses comes from the history taking. Whatever it is, i'm NOT interested in becoming a paediatrician. i'll stick to my dermatology, thank you very much!

Paeds

2006-09-08T12:33:00.001+08:00

I am now in the tmnet office waiting for the queue. its fantastic that they have a free net browsing service (even though its only 15 minutes). Its been a week into paeds, and so far, i have no complaints. i still feel a bit lost though, as i haven't had any case presentations yet. I made a child cry today just by standing next to her bed. how bad is that? its fun, but i dont think i will specialise in it.

Paeds

2006-09-08T12:33:00.000+08:00

on holiday

2006-08-24T13:04:00.000+08:00

hmph... i have had a 1 month holiday and now i'm into the 3rd week. what have i been doing?

week 1 : clean house and do all sorts of nonsense.
install yahoo games into computer and play until eyes are tired.
i highly suggest Luxor. all you have to do is burst the colored balls. i'm now in level 8 and i can't get past it!!!

week 2: went for a holiday to South africa. Was there for a week, took thousands of photos and ate seafood the whole time. I'll blog about it next weeklah

week 3: start a little bit of reading and have to complete research. i'm supposed to interview 120 subjects. Shuttling back between kl and seremban is tiring.

week 4 : have to move house to my new place which is just 5 minutes away. i dread moving stuff, especially my books.

IN the meantime, i have finished reading Stephen King's the Cell. its a great book about zombies. Anyone who has a fetish for zombies like me should check it out. I actually have no idea why i'm in love with zombies?!

Am now reading another book Wicked witch of the West. Its supposedly an adult version of the story. And i'm trying to finish The Mysterious Island by Jules Verne.

i've also tidied up my blog cos its so outdated. For those who used to use unkymood smilies, its back and you have to search under the title Punkymoods.

I also watched Siti's wedding last monday but fell asleep just as Dato' K was about to say his wedding vows. I woke up just in time to see end of the majlis. Both my mum and i think her makeup was superb. And check out her HUGE diamond 'merisik' ring. That's really BLING.

Bye bye brother

2006-07-28T12:31:00.000+08:00

to all kuchingites who are not in kuching....did you guys know that sarawak club was burnt down on wednesday night? My grandma was woken up by the noise, it happened around 3 am. The pictures are available on Star online. Sorrylah, i'm too lazy to post pics now. It seems the entire building is gone, the only thing left are the tennis courts. Its a shame, isn't it. I hope they'll build a more beautiful club.

My brother will be changing study courses. Last month he went for an interview with MAS, and now his dream of becoming a PILOT will come true. He's going to sign some agreement with mas today, and by next week he'll be flying of to langkawi. And i think he'll start work earlier than me. As much as i think my brother can be annoying and downright sarcastic, i'm going to miss him. After all, i've bullied him ever since he was a baby. its hard to imagine him being on his own. My weekends now are going to be very boring without him.

My first PD trip

2006-07-25T13:28:00.000+08:00

Last saturday my mom's office organized a family day for the weekend. they picked me up at noon, but couldn't stop in front of my house because the road leading to it was blocked by worshippers from a nearby temple. its a festival honoring one of the hindu gods, and that day a lot of them were doing a procession and carrying kabbadis. so, i had to walk to the main road where she could pick me up.
the place where we stayed was the corus hotel. it has 9 floors and we stayed on the second. my cousins came along for this trip with my aunt. i was too lazy to join in the competitions so i did a little bit of studying in the afternoon. then about 2 hours later i had to save my youngest cousin from the adults. we all went swimming in the pool later on. coincidentally, this is the first time since march that i've gone swimming. thank god i still remember my strokes !

dinner was around 8pm. my mom had to give a speech, and there were a few dance performances from the office staff. the food that they served was good, and i myself ate around 6 mussels. Yum........my little cousin didn't even want to touch anything else aside from musssels. I overate as usual (i don't get to eat good food during the weekdays) then sat back on my chair and watched the performances. Majority of it was karaoke done by the office workers. A few were good, and most were OK-lah (note that i am being very generous in giving my praises for this). I went back to my room around 10.30 after seeing my cousins perform with my mom. Again, i thank god i was being excused not to perform with them, it was a dance routine. I would have been jiggling my ass on the stage for 10 minutes, and its not a pretty sight ;P

the next morning i planned to swim again, but i woke up to find the pool colonised by little kids. so i took a walk around the hotel grounds. and i had to watch something gruesome. i saw this big, bad , ugly crow attacking this small little pretty blue bird. it was going for the little birds head, trying to decapitate it. and the most pitiful thing is that the bird's group was trying to defend it from the crow by sporadically swooping down on the crow. Yucks...its watching animal planet live. i didn't stick around for the crow to win.

yesterday i had a teaching session, and it was my turn to present. one of my colleagues patient, who has anxiety, depression and insomnia came to be assessed by my lecturer. No one wanted to clerk him, and i was obliged to do it. but it was good in a way, because i got a satisfactory mark from interviewing him. I think that will be the end of my clerking days, cos i gotta give everyone else a chance. Each of us is supposed to clerk a minimum of two patients.

My dad will be coming to kl this weekend and i am naturally overjoyed. sometimes its good to be the only girl in the family. The mega sale is also just starting, and here are some the things i need/want:

1. a new pair of sneakers (preferably Skechers)
2. Stephen King's THe Cell
3. A mini Jansport backpack
4. New specs (hopefully)

Mom will be buying me a new handbag since my bro says the current one looks like an old lady's bag. Why are younger brothers so irritating?

PS. I am also glad my cousin jasmine is back at home. I hope this will never happen again.

Its HOT

2006-07-21T13:32:00.000+08:00

The haze is back, and Seremban is ****ing hot. I feel like i'm in Africa, especially in the afternoons. And i drink 2 big bottles of mineral water just to stay cool.

Last friday i went to buy tickets for Pirates, and i had to wait one hour in line just to buy tickets for saturday's show. But it was worth it. On saturday itself the line stretched from the GSC counter all the way to mcd's at midv. And the cinema was bloody full! and cold. I give the movie 8/10. I think johnny depp as jack sparrow is smoking...hum, can't wait for the 3rd installment. i'm tempted to watch American haunting and Lady in the water.

My 2 weeks of relaxation are over. i've now officially finished my MO and MCH week. Next week is back to clerking patients. This weekend i'm going to Port Dickson for family day organized by my mom's office. i wont be dipping myself in the beach per se, i'm happy enough with the swimming pool. BUT i do hope that there will be good food. i'm hankering for some fish and lots of seafood. To hell with my cholesterol levels! I know its bad but i can't resist.

Pirates are here!

2006-07-14T12:59:00.000+08:00

I have an hour left before i go back to kl. i am gonna skip my plenary this afternoon (its about ethics) and i figure that i'm not so bad in the moral department. the sole reason why i'm going back so early is to book tickets at gsc midvalley for the pirates 2. i've tried online booking and sms but its all reserved. i think if i were to actually go there and buy the tickets it would be ok. this week is relaxing for me, i was posted to the maternal and child health section of the community clinic.

its interesting to see what sort of cases they have there, and also a joy to hold babies. hehehe...i've been praised for holding a baby the right way by my colleagues, so yeah. the worst thing a baby has to undergo is immunisation. i have to learn the correct way to immunize a baby, but when they start to cry and wail...i feel that my heart gets broken too. Other things i did was to palpate pregnant mother's tummy, do booking for first time mothers and family planning.

the highlight of the week was going for school visit, where we follow the schoo health van to primary and secondary schools. it reminds me back to My own schoolyears. i remembered that i didn't cry when they jabbed me in standard 1. On that particular day , it was jabbing time for the standard 1 pupils. none of them cried, and i actually got to see head lice for the first time. I feel really 'geli' to see the insects moving around a girl's head. I also examined for testicular abnormalities in schoolboys. i had to feel whether their testes was absent or not. It made me feel like a paedophile for 10 minutes.

the immunization program is really good, and i'm thankful that our government does take good care of its people. times have changed, and the immunization schedule has undergone a bit of transformation too. i wouldn't mind going to school visits when i'm a dr next time, its fun to see the school children at their most innocent.

now, i shall try my luck at buying tickets for tomorrow.

2006-07-07T13:44:00.001+08:00

Today is 7 july 2006.

1. i had a mid posting mcq and i passed.

2. i ate a tuna sandwich for lunch

3. i played with the official university cat who is pregnant. She is also very sweet. i wished i had a cat like that.

4. i attened my cfcs meeting. it was a bit unorganized because some members were absent. i'll be going to visit my patient next week.

5. spotted a cute guy today. ehem.... and no, its not an imu student.

6. will be going back to kl today. i have been going back every weekend since i started this posting. i am not used to this.

7. feel like going shopping and buying a romance book. i swore i would never touch a romance book after form 5, and look what has happened now.

8. my skirt is now tight around my waist because i overate for lunch. i wish i had no fat.

9. heard paris hilton's single for the dozenth time this morning. the girl can't sing. but she can frolic very well

10. Forgot to clean my contact lens last night and have to wear specs today. contact lenses are so much more comfortable.

11. will be having a lecture on pregnancy later. aren't pregnant females interesting??

12. am constantly amused by the seremban chickens. did i mention that i saw a chicken in the middle of seremban town? we don't see that in kuching, do we?

13. i wish that male mange characters are actually real life humans. The world would be a happier place for females.

my top 3 manga bishonen :

1. samurai x
2. hatake kakashi
3. inu yasha

Favourite baddie: Sephiroth (FF7) and Orochimaru (Naruto)

Why do the bad guys always have to be drop dead gorgeous??

Note: i also went to the pizza hut party with my posting mates. i took a lot of pics but i still have to downsize them first before posting them up. i ate 3 large slices that night, and took a slice of chocolate walnut cake. i then waddled like a penguin because i was overstuffed!!!

2006-07-03T12:56:00.000+08:00

first of all, i'm happy to note that my blog is still being read by other bloggers out there. from my own observation, it seems 99.99% of my readers are secret fans (just joking!!). its getting harder to blog nowadays, cos i don't have internet access at my own place. in august i'll be moving house which does have access. i'm gonna miss my old room and the house. its really comfy and BIG, complete with its own bathroom. the new place i'm staying will be with my batchmates. it'll be about 10 minutes further and i have to have transport now. the new room is just empty and i have to buy new furniture. i hate moving house, packing and unpacking and cleaning everything.

My aunt is doing a course for 3 months in kl, so i'll be seeing her whenever i go back to BJ. surprisingly, she's not the shopping maniac i thought she was. i am an acclaimed shopaholic, i just love walking around malls. there's so many things to see. i can exercise, and destress at the same time. i just wished i had more money to spend though. i even had to ask my dad to buy me stephen king's latest 'the cell' cos it was so expensive.

Family med is pretty relaxing. but i hate it when it comes to teaching sessions. last week i clerked a patient with depression and i got a scolding from the lecturer for telling a 'grandmother story'. its the first time i saw a patient with depression, and its really interesting. i don't think i'll be interested to work in psychiatry though, its just not me. Honestly, i will probably be working in the medical wards after i grad. i'm still gonnna try and see if dermatology is really my thing. and tomorrow night the students in my posting are gonna have some pizza hut party with a lecturer. its pretty funny, cos we're the only internal med posting that gets to have a party with her. me, i'm just going for the pizze and pictures.

the newspapers are still commenting about the riff between the pm and expm. i think its just blown out of proportion. i personally just want to have this issue finished with and let the pm do his job. I am also pretty sad that brazil lost to france. i didn't side any team, but i thought brazil would have won over aging france. i predict...germany vs. portugal for the finals. the samba boys were probably too overconfident that they would win.

as for england...i think it was brave of david beckham to publicly step down as captain. i think he did a good job in his 6 years. i wonder who's going to replace him. Sven goran should have been replaced a LONG time ago. they seem to be getting nowhere with him. and i think the british press are obsessed with the WAGs (wives and girlfriends) of the english players. its come to a point where you feel sick looking at their pics in the newspapers everyday and read about their exorbitant shopping and clubbing. do i sound jealous of them? maybe i am. but to me it seems like a big waste of one's life doing nothing but shopping and getting drunk all the time. Thank god victoria was smart enough not to join them.

I passed!!

2006-06-26T14:00:00.000+08:00

Its now 2pm and i'm really hungry. i've decided to semi fast in order to lose weight. i've gained 1kg, and i was only in the 1st week of family med. today we had a long cp at the outpatient clinic. i've realised that the older patients love to talk, including telling us about their complete life story. i'm wondering how i should interrupt them , because if not the session would just drag on.

Then yesterday, i got a pep talk from my mom, telling me about my weaknessess and so on. 1 thing she kept bringing up is the fact that i'm quiet and surly. You know, i'm really not sure if its true, but i don't think i'm THAT bad with my friends and acquaintances. maybe its just how i act around my family. Yes, it is a bad trait, and yes, i am going to try my best to improve myself. Then, she compared me to a cousin, who's really hyperactive and i felt really pissed off, cos hey, not everyone is born to be an energizer bunny. i have my good days and my bad days and i do smile at people (maybe not so much compared to others). or maybe i'm just in self denial.

so yesterday, i was feeling pretty depressed about myself (body image, pychosocial, crap) and i think that everyone has their own demons to solve. true, most of us are fortunate enough to have families, to be able to study, have enough for our basic needs, but there are still some things that we are not satisfied with ourselves. i was praying today and as i was praying, i realised that God does love each and everyone of us, no matter who we are, what we do or who we look like. There's something inside each and everyone of us that he loves. Usually i ignore god for the rest of the day, but in the mornings, its my time to have a 'one-on-one 'with him.

without God, i honestly would be lost and helpless in this world. And i think that no matter what religion one practices it is still God.

Okay, Superman aka Spandex is coming to theatres this week. i am not going to watch it because i'm not a fan (not even the cartoon series). However, i have been reading naruto like mad. i have just finished manga number 262, and the lastest edition is number 313. so, i have 51 episodes to go. Can i finish it by this week? You betcha!!

A thief broke into my house last sunday. he didnt physically enter the house, but he forcefully opened one of the dining room windows. Only a digital cam was stolen,but the weird thing was, he also fished out my dad's jacket and shirt, and then carefully folded it and put it on the patio table. He also didn't take any of the expensive pens in my dad's jacket. Then, he stole one of my dad's sandals, and he also stole a neighbour's shirt. What a 'polite thief'. i told my grandma that if i was there, i'd probably slap the fella, but my gran told me i'd probably be scared shitless instead. True, i would be, but if rage overcomes fear anything can happen.
i hate people who steal from other people. God tells us to forgive others, but forgiveness is not on my mind right now.

i'm back

2006-06-19T13:47:00.000+08:00

After a one week break, i do feel great...until my family med session this morning. A lot of classmates tell me that its relaxed, but i dont' think soooo. the days are fully packed, but there are less reports to write. and everything is so broad. its like we're learning a bit of every posting for semester 6 and seven.

i have been watching a whole lot of tv, and i finished naruto episodes 71-100 in 3 days. i love that anime. I wish i had superpowers too. maybe i'll summon a bat or a chicken. movie wise, i saw 16 blocks, quite average. i thought of watching tokyo drift, but my better sense prevailed against it. it got really bad ratings from the newspapers. superman? i'm gonna give it a go as well, i'v never been a big fan of the comic series. i guess i'm just gonna hafta wait for pirates 2. I also finished reading jeffrey deaver's latest novel, the 12th card. next up for me will be stephen king's the Cell.

ironing weekend

2006-05-29T12:44:00.000+08:00

First of all, congratulations to all those docs who just graduated from imu and also to my batch during last saturday's convocation ceremony. i personally did not go, cos i've already had one a long time ago. if i were to go, i would have had attended 3 graduations by the time i'm 30!! At the graduation Dr francis achike, dr thani and dr jpj attended. i heard that dr thani took pictures for everyone and that later our whole batch took a picture together. Really nice...

i spent my whole saturday ironing my mother's work clothes, she didn't iron for a whole two weeks. i can safely say that i ironed around 20 pieces of clothing. Fortunately for me, there was some reward in the end. I got my first piece of silk accessory from her during her trip to china. its a blanket and its really beautiful. Did you know that if you sleep with a silk pillowcase your hair will be less damaged? i just found that out while reading june's cleo.

I went to watch x-men on saturday too. the movie was okay, but there was very little screen time for Angel. Jean Grey and Mystique's character are the best. i feel like watching xmen 1 and 2 . Watching the movie almost made me feel that i should have superpowers too. i'm undecided on what superpowers i should have

in 2 weeks time i'll be finishing my internal med posting and having a one week holiday. my aunt and family will be coming here, so i plan to do some serious shopping and visiting aquaria klcc. I love fish. I love starfish even more! Just joking... but i do remember touching a starfish when i was young, and it felt pretty good. I also plan to watch lots of anime shows and read up on as much manga as i can.

I'm supposed to have a quiz today, and thank god its postponed. i would have died on the spot if the lecturer were to do a spot quiz.

Happy Labour DAy!

2006-05-02T14:47:00.000+08:00

i had a nice 3 day holiday during the weekend; i went back to bj to spend some time with my mom. this week on national geo they're having Bible week, and i sure wish i had astro at seremban. i am interested about the one on armageddon. death and destruction have been my staple ever since Hollywood decided to brainwash the world with its movies.

i will not deny that the gospel of judas exists, however, i do not have to believe it wholeheartedly either. and i do plan to see the da vinci code in cinema. i think its wise to see other aspects of ones religions, as it will help me to understand what people view my religion as, and how i can better help them to understand it.

anyway, im' having quite some fun in int med. i don't deny it drives me crazy, but the cases i see are akin to solving a jigsaw puzzle. and its different from surgery where you gotta think of so many things, and try to exclude them one by one. i've forgotten a lot of things during bj, so there's a lot of reading to do.

still, i can't wait for family med to start!!

and yeah, i just did my first blood sample last friday. it wasnt' as scary as it turned out to be.

am reading jrr tolkien's the hobbit during my spare time. and eating a lot in seremban while i'm at it. maybe its all the stress....

and yes, to all my friends who are in pms/ are going soon, i do miss you guys a LOT.

*sob*

and now...internal med

2006-04-21T12:29:00.000+08:00

SIGH....

i've just finished my exam for surgery this morning. I THINK i passed, but that depends on my examiners. There were a lot of questions i couldn't awnser, and after 4 hours i still feel like a total fool. I have loss of appetite today, but dont fret guys...i'll be okay by tomorrow.

Clinical school is so different from Bj. here, you are not only expected to go to the wards and clark patients to improve your history taking, but also have to find time to study. its pretty stressful sometimes, but enjoyable on the whole. i still have to buck up a LOT on anatomy cos it sucks!!!

i have enjoyed my surgery posting though...and i'll have to work even harder for internal med. it'll be 3 months of hard work for me, then i'll be able to relax a bit for family med. We're gonna have a feedback session for todays exam, i hope it'll be okay.

this weekend i have a lot of reports to write, so i won't be able to go back and see my family. plus, i have to learn how to read the ecg, which is no mean feat :(
i feel like watching a movie this weekend (if i have the time). Poseidon will be coming out on 11 may, so i do want to watch it. the rest...ah, i'll watch it on dvdlah. I realised i can't live without astro. since coming to seremban, i am forced to watch mainstream tv, some programs are nice, but on the whole they are kinda boring. I miss my MTV,HBO, National geographic and starworld.

I am now a fan of naruto...the characters are pretty cool, but weird. what i dont get is this boy carrying a large gourd on his back (?).

life in seremban

2006-03-17T12:02:00.000+08:00

it is now my 3rd week in seremban. how do i feel?

a. stupid
b. tired
c. extremely stupid

i am now housemates with lali, natalia, meera and kar seng. the house where we are staying is pretty big, so much so that on the first week itself there was some sort of pseudo-robber that wanted to come in our house.

life in clinical school is a very different contrast to that of BJ. whereas i could play around in bj, here its more of getting down to business. i sort of regretted of not doing anything worthwhile during my two months in kuching, but without my break, i would definitely get burnt out by now.

my batch is divided into 3 postings, namely internal medicine, general surgery and family medicine. i am in surgery along with 2 other housemates. it is not a relaxed posting, as we should ideally start working hard during the first week itself, but i am quite happy doing this posting.

there are a lot of 'firsts' for me during the 3 weeks here; 1st time going in to the operation theatre (OT), first time seeing endoscopy, first time doing a lot of things basically. And we have to do 95% of our own studies.that is hard, because you can choose to learn everything in medicine, or learn only specific topics. and because medicine is so broad,sometimes when i think of the things i study i feel sick.

and during the first week itself, i had a culture shock, knowing what hard work i need to do in seremban, and i sometimes wonder if i had actually made the right choice doing medicine. now, i think i should be adjusting ok to life here.

a typical day in my life goes like this:

6.30 am- try to wake up from sleep

7.30am- walk to school

8 am- be in the wards to clark patients

10 am- go to ot/endo rm to see procedures

break for lunch

2-4pm -csu/plenary/discussions

5pm-drag my aching feet back home

7pm- if there is on-call , will go to on call

9.30pm- arrive home. chit chat, eat, blah blah

10.30 pm- try to rearrange clarking notes and try to study a bit

11pm- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

it also doesn't help that the lecturers here will gleefully do their best to make you feel stupid ( they always do), but we all know their intentions are for the best. sometimes i feel scared opening my mouth to awnser a question because i know the lecturer is so vastly experienced compared to me. but what can i do, i will gladly take the humiliations for another 2years :)

1 thing good about my life now is that i TRULY appreciate my weekends. i will gladly stay in bed and loiter about the house for a whole day. and now i also appreciate wearing sandals and flipflops on weekends cos now i have to wear formal shoes all the time. sigh...........

what i have been doing this week

2006-01-14T14:02:00.000+08:00

Today i'm gonna visit this little tyke:

I'll be watching this tomorrow:

and i have just finished reading this book.

the shining is the most wacked out book i've read from king so far. i myself feel crazy reading what the characters think. i've been going to the Swak club gym and library, and am surprised that the librarian still remembers me. its been ages since i've been there, and the romance books are still the same ( i used to borrow them a lot). i've grown out of that, and now all the mystery and murder writers top my to-read list. my dad bought the narnia compilation, but i felt bored reading it. i guess i'm past it.

its two more weeks to CNY and the neighbour behind me is busy playing firecrackers everyday. at 7.30 pm precisely.this may sound a bit crazy, but i do actually miss the red firecrackers that they play at midnite. somehow it doesn't seem like cny without it. the neighbors are busy cleaning their houses for the big occasion.

so far, so good. i'm enjoying the hols with loads of food to eat.

durian madness

2006-01-07T17:02:00.000+08:00

i am seriously tired after going to both my kampungs today. i woke up at 4.30 am just because one of my grannies suggested that we should start the trip at 6 am. then in the end, she came the latest. all that waking up for nothing!

we were supposed to go to my mum's land to pluck some durians. The villagers there said that there was a lot.the trip there took around 4 hours. we stopped at Lachau on the way,and surprise, surprise, there were lots of durians! i think the area around lachau is the only one that is fruiting, cos its not really durian season in kch yet. one thing good about going to rural areas is that the produce is fresh , and there are so many things you feel like buying.

i slept throughout the journey there. when we arrived, we were told that most of the villagers had plucked the durians, except for 1 tree, cos the fruits are still too young. well, at least we won't go back empty handed. my uncle is good at climbing trees, so he was the one who was plucking it. the rest of us just stayed and looked around in the jungle. as soon as we entered the jungle, the mosquitoes surrounded us. its really scary to see the familiar black and white stripe of the aedes mosquito. luckily we brought repellent. there were lots of other fruit trees around, and me being a city girl, got excited to see fruits in the wild.

all the durians we collected were still young.we collected about 13 durians altogether. then we stopped at lachau again to buy the ripe ones, as well as a few other things. i couldn't sleep on the way back cos the road was too bumpy. the weather today was fine, and the Hose mountain range looked beautiful.its hard to imagine that on the other side of mountain lies kalimantan. so near and yet so far.

my little nephew is back home today, and screaming his lungs out. he's really cute, his brows furrow when he sleeps, like he's thinking about some hard math problem or something. btw, if anyone has watched the series numbers, the older brother don is a hottie!

auntie sarah

2006-01-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

i've been very excited about getting a new niece/nephew for quite some time, so today i'm officially an aunty (big round of applause). my nephew was born around 12.30 this afternoon, and tonight i got my first peep at him. he weighs 3.5 kg, pretty big for a baby.he's got lots of hair (even on his ears) and is still fast asleep right now. he'll be fit go back tmr and i can't wait to see him for real on saturday. he doesn't have a name a the moment. i wish to call him matthew surak. Surak means sunshine in bidayuh. his parents want to call him rayes kulo. They probably have their own reason.

i didn't go for exercise today cos it was raining cats n dogs. tmr i have to go to gym as well as to parkson to get a long overdue xmas present for a friend. i am going to be down with the flu soon and that sucks. am starting to gain weight due to the good food in kch.

today my grandma and i tried to make assam laksa. its not bad, pretty good. i wonder how the hawkers make the soup so yellowish. we tried adding kunyit but it doesn't do the trick. next week i'm gonna try and make popiah

i'm supposed to be studying this month but i cant seem to. i just feel like playing everyday. went to timberland medical centre and felt depressed when i saw where the specialists graduated from. im currently feeling stupid at the moment cos i don't think i've got a lot of info in my head. sigh, to be a good doc!

Christmas eve

2006-01-03T13:54:00.000+08:00

My flight was scheduled for 3.25pm to kuching. On the same flight with me was michelle liew @ the goose. she, su jun and i took the taxi to klia.it was very hard for her to part with her close friends, and luckily at the airport we met up with sheena n gang, and also gayatri, so she cheered up a bit.

the good part of using airasia is that if you book early, you can get it for a ridiculously low price. the bad part is that if you have lots of baggage, be prepared to pay for it. as the max load is 15kg, mich had to pay quite a lot for her stuff. the crowd was crazy, but luckily the line moved fast. then we all went to mcd's. Ck held the top spot for having the longest piece of french fry ever, before premila took it and made it dissapear!

the flight we were on used the new airbus, so it was fantastic. both of us slept during the flight. the funny part was we landed at kch. you see, kch airport is in the midst of upgrading, and we were put at the last terminal. both of us had lots of things to carry. i was carrying mich's bag which contained some wooden box.

the airport floor was slippery, and mich decided to jog to the immigration counter. i naturally was short of breath. if you can imagine 2 girls carrying bags, gliding on the floor and laughing all the way, you'd think they were crazy, wouldn't you?

i think thats what the other passengers think about us. the immigration counters were so high, if i didn't wear my high heels i wouldn't see the officer at all. kinda funny being short sometimes.

then to get to the entrance of the airport , we had to go through this rabbit hole sort of thingy. it was pretty hot cos it was enclosed and so many ppl were moving about.

when i came home, it was just in time for dinner. we had a short one, cos one of my uncles had to go for mass. my own family went for the midnite mass at st joe's. the choir was the usual one, but what makes this particular mass special is that evry one is in the mood for singing. and when the whole church sings, its really beautiful. You really feel like welcoming jesus into the world. at the end of church, they had a contraption where bubble came out from the roof, and the whole church was full of it. sigh!

its 2 more days to christmas!!!

2005-12-23T10:32:00.000+08:00

I've finally made it past my phase 1 of studies, now i've got around 2 months to chill and enjoy myself at home. here's what i plan to do :

1. workout as much as i can so i balance the enormous intake of food i eat

2. take up squash lessons as my technique sucks

3. play all the computer games in my house

4. restring my guitar and attempt to play a nice tune

5. visit my grandparents kampung house in Sri aman

6. Read all the novels i've missed

7. Go back to my kampung and see all my relatives

8. visit all my old friends

9. attempt to learn how to cook so i won't starve myself in seremban

10. download music for my mp3 player (yay!!!!!!!)

11. go for a holiday (maybe?)

12. sleep like a cow everyday

i'm going back on saturday afternoon, and immediately when i come home i'm having an xmas party with my family. itis so exciting to celebrate xmas at home with everyone. and the fact that i've not been home for a year. i think i've got the present i wanted for xmas, and so have all my cousins. Finding gifts for friends and family is tough, you really don't know what to get them, and whether they willl actually appreciate what you got for them.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! Jingle bells, Santa smells, lalalalala....

The last day of lectures

2005-11-22T12:44:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day...

That M203 will be having lectures

Will be shouting the name PHANG in class

Will be seeing each and every person in class

That i will be eating at the rooftop with my friends

Its only 2 more weeks to the finals. Most people were so stressed out over their exams that they forgot to bring their own cameras for the phototaking shoot today.

its painful that i will not see all of my classmates for a long time after this. Most of them will be scattered all over the globe, and i honestly don't think itll be that easy to catch up with them again.

who would've thought that it would be over so fast?

bruised but not out

2005-11-18T10:42:00.001+08:00

Finals is in 3 weeks time and already both my eyes are bulging out from exhaustion. My stress level was at its highest peak today, and i couldn't concentrate at all during pbl. i have so many things i want to do after exams: a trip to sunway waterpark, and a holiday somewhere (hopefully bangkok). i have no idea why i'm so fascinated with bangkok, it seems so mysterious and exciting.

i had a lecture yesterday about physical abuse and boy, was it informative. I didn't know, for instance, that there were more shelters for animals in our country than there were for abused women. its kinda ironic, isn't it, that we should care more for animals than we do for our own folk. and a few days ago, i read that the only shelter for abused men in our country has closed.

there are so many reasons why women don't dare tell that they've been abused. What makes me angry is that after they've disclosed their sufferings, they will actually be blamed for it. Maybe their relatives will accuse the women of not being good housewives and mothers, and most people in society will reject them after that. i find it truly unfair that women have to go through so much in life.

1. We have to maintain our physical image, especially in Asia as i think asian men are more critical of looks

2. We are under pressure to get married one day. If we don't all our relatives will think that there's something wrong with us

3. We have to endure the pain of childbirth. something that scares me to death whenever i think about it.

4. We have to bring up the kids, be a good wife and maintain household order. We also have to maintain our shapely figure, lest our husbands' eyes start to stray.

5. life is much harder when we are single mothers, we often don't get the support we get, and we get stigmatised for not being good housewives.

6. we encounter sexual advances at the workplace, or anyplace else.

Therefore, if any guy shall attempt to physically/mentally abuse me, i shall be ready with my sarcasm and my frying pan!

Of curries and Kuih

2005-11-11T12:28:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i've posted anything here. Once you stop writing, you feel so lazy to do it that it almost becomes a chore for you. but i miss my blog, and i miss interacting with it. seriously it has become a part of me that letting my blog die is like letting a small part of me die. i had this conversation today about blogs, and i'm thinking whether personal blogs are better than public blogs. the thing about personal blogs is that you can write whatever the heck you want about Everything, and no one will bother you about it. Public ones are great when you have visitors coming up to check on your blog and giving interesting comments about what you write. I dunno...sometimes i wished that my blog would be more personal, but sometimes i feel like it would be boring if no one else were to read it.

The raya and deepavali holidays ended last week, and my house is full of cookies. its bad cos nowadays with all the exam stress i tend to shove all sorts of food inside my mouth. my pimples are also coming back, not the small ones, but the sporadic and huge mushroom types. the good thing about these types of pimples is that they tend to go off sooner. the bad- Everyone notices them and has to make a comment about it, especially if its smack in the middle of your forehead!

I went to some open houses during deepavali, totally enjoyed myself eating bryani rice and mutton curry, only this time the curries at most houses seem a bit bland, i think they put less santan in it for health reasons. I saw Pitch Black for the first time and man...does Vin Diesel have a great body!! If only they'd put vin diesel and the rock in a movie together, i'll be the first one to line up at the cinemas. Pontianak harum s.m totally freaked me out, and i had to sleep with the lights on. i find it amazing that malaysia has SO many types of ghosts. i never in my life would want to cross paths with a ghost, but i would like to see pics of one. There are haunted tours being conducted in kl, and if i have the time and money, i'd like to go on one. i do believe in some aspects of the ghost stories that people tell, but as to how they can inflict death on ppl makes me a little bit sceptical. i guess i rely on god to protect me from all this kind of stuff. i know it always seems like i contradict myself, but i guess that's how i am!

2005-10-27T10:26:00.001+08:00

Creep

When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather,
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special,
you're so fucking special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong here

She's running out the door,
she's running,
she run, run, run, run, run.

Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special,

but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.

by Radiohead

This rates as one of my favourite angsty songs. Alanis Morissette can't be beat though. If you're feeling shitty and feel like nothing's going right, this song expresses your emotions for you.

choclolate toxicity

2005-10-27T10:01:00.000+08:00

My stomach feels queasy now because of the chocs i ate last night. i think it was too late at night to eat chocs. i wonder how the world would be like if the mayans didn't discover cocoa. How would our society be?? would our sex lives be dismal? would we be gorging ourselves on chips the whole day, and would we still be a bunch of barbarians??? i'm so grateful for the chocolates that have ever been made (not dark ones though).

I've watched Doom last week, and hope to watch the Corpse Bride and Chicken Little the next week. Doom is basically your kill and shoot movie, its based on the video game of the same name. I think the only reason i watched it was because of the Rock and Karl Urban, and of course, the popcorn. i saw the chicken little trailer and boy, he's a really cute chick. i know the movie is for kids but who cares... give me a bag of popcorn and i'll be happy.

The pms matching results are out, and i've come to realise that i only have 5 weeks to see everyone in class. its going to feel so weird not being with close friends, and to start another new chapter in life.

EOS is coming in 6 weeks time. i have given up hope of studying everything. instead, i'll just be focusing on what i think has a higher chance of coming out. to make matters worse, the first week after raya i'll be having mock osce, and i didn't even know it until today.i'll have to make do with what i have. Everyone is super stressed and running around in circles. i have felt my bp slowly but surely rising as the exams come calling!along with this, large amounts of junk food are entering my mouth and depositing on my thighs. The culprits are chocs, cakes and keropok. i don't know why, but eating while studying is SO enjoyable.

Next week National Geographic will be airing an interesting documentary about the origins of man. We all know that man is descended from one ADAM, but just how did ADAM look like? the possible theory is that we mankind originated from africa, and migrated to all corners of the earth. Along the way, our genetic structures were modified to adapt to the land we lived in. In asia especially, it is found that millions of men have one original Big Daddy-Genghis Khan. Due to Genghis's conquering ways of both women and land, he manages to sire lots of kids. I think it would be great to find out who my ancestors are. it would be great having genghis as my great granddaddy though, its like a piece of history is embedded within you.

the health issues are so boring...we're supposed to watch a movie called outbreak and i don't think i've seen it before. most of the time in class i just sit with my head in the clouds.

bipolar disorder

2005-10-21T16:22:00.000+08:00

whew...i've just finished my cns exam. it is not easy...i repeat...IT IS NOT EASY!!!!

i look something like a corpse bride right now (minus the fabulous figure). i'm really tired, i feel like sleeping right on the com keys . Yesterday our beloved PM's wife passed away. i was quite shocked when they announced it on the radio because i assumed that she was getting better. i watched the entire burial process on tv, and its pretty interesting how it was done. plus, i've never seen the ministers close up. may she rest in peace.

i have lost a kg just because of the stupid exam. its kinda good to lose it, but i will no doubt gain it again by this weekend. why did i say the exams was hard? because there's so much to learn and yours truly studied really last minute for it. a whole question just about bacteria came out, and i managed to 'shoot' pretty well. unfortunately, my ospe went haywire,and ironically i'm gonna lose a lot of marks from there. i have no idea what i'm going to get, but i rate the toughness on par with renal.

i have now become a fan of zombie movies! i watched dawn of the dead, and man, was it good. there's another movie called 24 hours which is almost similar. its really realistic and you can actually imagine the world like that in the future. i 've also watched sound of thunder, and would advise potential moviegoers to stay away from it!!!

this morning i watched a program about japan called "naked festival" its held once a year to bring away all of japan's bad luck. all the bad luck is transferred to a guy called the monk, who has to run naked on the city streets and being chased after by 10,000men. if they succeed in touching any part of him, they can get rid of their bad luck. and all these men are also naked and drunk. Japan fascinates me, simiply because their culture is just so unique.

and a few days back in the local papers, they ran an article about what sort of food one eats determines ones character. for example:

a person who loves to eat steak- in an angry mood

loves to eat cakes and biscuits- sexually frustrated/deprived

loves to eat ice-cream, chocs, cookies- is filling up an empty void within

i'm actually a combo of all the 3 above, so poor me!

i'll be going on an eating spree again this weekend, and next week i have to embark on a dieting regime. its really hard to eat all sorts of fatty food while trying to maintain the same weight.

A week of expression

2005-10-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

A week has come and gone by, and there has been so much going on. the imu cup has officially ended last tuesday, and the sem 3's have won. i went to watch the cheerleading contest that night, and i'm glad i went. the pharm students gave a really good performance, and they were all so synchronized. Almost all of them had the same body size and gave a very splendid performance. i was very proud of my batchmates who performed that night. We had the spirit and determination to succeed. we deserved to win the cheerleading contest. the sad part is that we lost the overall champioship to sem 3 by only 2 points. there were some sports that we should have won, but alas, things aren't meant to be. all the students who participated in the games deserve a round of applause because at the end of the day, having fun and making friends is what matters most.

i have not been exercising this week, and my body parts feel flabby. i love it when i'm exercising cos my muscles feel toned, and i do feel more lithe. i will go jogging tmr morning, cos i seem to be eating nonstop again. i'm kinda sick of guys judging a girl's appeal by the size of their bodies. i do admit that physical appearance is important, but hey, all girls can't be as stick thin as kate moss, can they? and do guys ACTUALLY prefer those kinds of girls? i dunno. been listening to some angstsy songs lately, and i love 'Creep'by Radiohead. it conveys all my emotions, feeling like an idiothead, and not belonging anywhere in society. i sometimes feel that its really tiring to make everyone like you and respect you. i am the type of person that doesn't really care much, actually. i guess i have been foraging in the jungles of Sarawak too long to care about what other people think. I'm just joking...but yeah, as long as i know i have good friends, its all right. And if someone does call me a b*****, i guess i'll take it as a compliment. i must've intimidated them so much to be actually called one.

Went for the art competition today, and enjoyed myself listening to poems. A number of my classmates won, so i'm pretty glad for them. The dikir barat performances and choir were superb, and i am amazed again that there are so many talented people in this uni. amazing...its like they were blessed with everything. before i went to sleep last night,i was thinking about the people around me,and somehow i realised that each and every one of them has a talent. it may be obvious, it may be subtle, but its there. and talent comes in all forms; whether its brains, sports, music, people skills, each and every one of us was given something precious by God. I think most of us don't realise we have it, it takes other people to see it. anyway, the MC for todays artcom. was so lame, and he seems to have fun mocking and making fun of everyone. but who am i to judge? maybe he was nervous, maybe he didn't prepare himself. whatever it is, i was torn between crying and wanting to throw a javelin at him. i think the latter would be a better choice.

God's Mooncake

2005-09-30T10:28:00.000+08:00

Boy, have i been procrastinating a lot. i'm still amazed that despite all my years of studying, my study methods have never improved. I can still sit at my table for hours, with not a single detail going into my head. Instead, i'm just daydreaming away. Horrible, isn't it? CNS is into its 3rd week, and i'm plowing along. the csu for this system is the toughest so far. i've had a grilling from one of the lecturers about the cranial nerves, and i'm very scared of the osce. NOt knowing your stuff is one thing, but to really feel like a fool is another thing. and that csu lecturer had a fun time making us feel stupid. one thing that irked me though, is the lecturer's very straightforward way of asking q's. THis is one weird question he asked someone in my group:

Lect: Why are you so short? Who in your family member is short?

Student: I think its my mom

Lect: Who else in your family is short? Your brothers/sisters?

Student: ONly me, i guess

Lect: Do you actually know why you're short?

Student: (Bewildered look on face) No....

I guess its okay to ask a question like that, but it did strike as being a bit crass to me. If anyone were to ask me that question, i'd reply that i'm related to Gimli the dwarf, and i'm very proud to have warrior blood in me (not to mention rich relations!

I went to church last weekend, and it was no big deal for me. I somehow wish more priests would not scold the congreggation so much. we do have the right to be scolded, but i think a softer approach would be better. i always remember Fr. Hanrahan who was so gentle and soft spoken, and what he said would go into my thoughts.At the end of mass, the church gave out free mooncakes to everyone. i was bowled over! If you all remembered, i was lamenting that i wouldn't be able to eat mooncakes this yr because my mom thought it was too fattening. So, i did view the mooncake as a gift from god, and told my mom so. She was telling me that this is proof that god does know each and every one of us, and all we have to do is have faith in him and trust him. I do hope you all know how i feel, there are just some things in my life that i do find inexplicable, and to be honest, god really does surprise me at times.

I am dying for my cns anatomy. it doesn't help that all the notes are just pictures,and nothing else. the foreign accents and the frieght train speed that the lectures are carried out are not much of a help either. i am now beginning to realise the enormous importance of the brain, and yes, it is definitely the toughest system.

Imu cup will be over by next week, and my batch is trailing behind the juniors. i wouldn't worry about it though, i know we will get through. I am now hopelessly broke as a result of continuously eating out at lots of fatty places. i went swimmming at the bj aquatic centre last tue and man, where there a lot of hot bods around! I am now regretting that i didn't go there sooner. its a nice change for once to see other faces outside of imu (with nice bodies to boot). i have no idea why i'm still scared of swimming in deep places though. the moment i know its deep, i feel panicky and actually can't swim. i must get rid of my phobias.

spasmic

2005-09-23T10:20:00.000+08:00

My hamstrings are aching, my msk results will be out in 10minutes time, i haven't started studying properly for cns, i'm having csu in 10 mins time, and the girls futsal retained their champioship title for 3 years running! What a week.

i am still trying to weasel my way out for the running event by having more people do the tryouts. somehow my libido for imu cup has totally gone down this year. i have not been participating in a lot of things, and i don't feel the semangat to watch majority of the sports. And, as a result of not warming up properly last week, i sustained a hamstring stretch that still hasn't healed till today. What am i going to do? i figure if i were to run anyway, i'd just start sprinting midway through the track like a pack of wild dogs has chased me. nevermind that I AM the slowest,i'll just run like a rabid wild dog and see how it goes.

i haven't been studying all that properly for cns. there are just too many things to distract me. Went to see the girls futsal yesterday,and man, do we deserve to win the title. Ken lin was in her prime, i'm sure if it was only her against an entire team, she would still be able to score goals. Everyone who was on the team was equally good last night, they complimented each other perfectly. Suk yii and jo screamed their lungs out for ken lin . I feel so proud of my batch and how they have this fighting attitude. Today will be the relay race, and i'm sure they'll be able to do it.

My dinner last night consisted of 2 slices of cake and some naan bread. unhealthy, but sometimes when its past your dinnertime, you just don't feel like eating solid food. Talked a lot of crap as usual, and i'm surprised that my friends think i'm really dirty-minded. i told them i used to be, but now i've handed over the title to my other friends! More amusing was the fact that they think i'm a pro at watching risque' movies, and were shocked to hear that i'm still innocent! I must say, my reputation precedes me...now i've got to maintain it.

oh yeah, about the former datuk stockbroker who was free of all charges of killing his chinese nephew, i'm not sure what to say. it reminds me of the noritta samsuddin case. there are two things to learn from it though; the defense team must've done a heck of a good job making his client look innocent. And the prosecution must've fumbled somewhere. i wont' say about who deserves to win, but what caught my attention was the anguish of the boy's parents. they deserve to know what actually happened to him, and it breaks my heart to see things like this. Sometimes humans are actually not very different from animals. the extent of cruelty that we can inflict on other, including other living creatures, is amazing.what makes us different is that we KNOW we are wrong, but still keep doing it anyway.

Creep

2005-09-19T12:45:00.000+08:00

I've had quite a fabulous weekend, and because of that, the 1kg that i had lost during my food poisoning came back on. Its never a good thing, especially when your jeans and trousers feel tight again. Doh!

I went for the track and field trials last fri,and to my dismay, i find out that i am no longer as fast as i used to be. I do blame my hostel and ss17 during my um years, because it was really sports unfriendly. there were no parks to run, and the only exercise i got was walking 10 minutes to buy my rm 2.30 food and coming back again to my hostel. 4 years of no exercise at all, how sad is that?On the bright side,i am confident that my batch will do so much better than last years performance. the sprint queens are running, and the guys are also fast. Wei woon and Phang were really fast. I told a few classmates about Phang's running abilities, and they were quite impressed. Now, there is an unofficial Phang fan club and i heard a banner might be made for him should he run this time. But i seriously do respect him, and you just have to see him run to believe me. I unfortunately might be running for the 400 relay, an event i do not really like because at the end of the lap i just feel like throwing myself on the ground and lying there. it feels like your chest has been squeezed and there's no oxygen left for you to breathe.

Later that night, i had a choc binge for the dolphin and the tortoise. its a shame that only langkawi can sell duty free chocs. My faves are the swiss orange choc. surprisingly, choc and oranges do go well together. we ended up watching lots of corny tv and talking till our voices (mine, actually) went hoarse. Went to sleep at 4 am, and woke up 4 hours later and finding out that my mom wants me to go to midv with her.

I went to watch the movie Creep and its so-so, i give it 6 out of 10. The main star is Franka Portente,last seen in the bourne conspiracy. i find franka's face arresting. she is not drop dead gorgeous, but there's somthing about her face that makes you want to look at her more and more. its basically about her wanting to get on the last train but having fallen asleep, she goes on one in which she is the only passenger. its quite creepy if you're one of those people who use the railway systems often. and the monster in this movie looks like gollum.

Then, i went to MPH and had a fun time with books. i bought 3 books about the life of Adrian Mole, for 70 bucks only. really worth it! after my exams next year, i plan to spend just an entire day there and read books, so i wouldnt' have to waste money on them. there are quite a lot of new novels coming out which are pretty interesting. I also went to the romance self-help corner (couldn't help myself!) and find it amazing that there are so many books that are trying to help the hapless humans of the world in the matters of love. It can either make you happy or make you depressed. i was happy for one thing though, the book i wanted to buy for a long time- Haiku for Lovers - is finally available. its not that horny, but even if you're single you would still find the book a nice read.

After that, my mom wanted to go to cinnabon, so okay, and the next thing i'm ordering a choc cinnabun and a coffee flavored cinnamon drink. the waiters there are mostly from borneo, and the instant i walked in with my mom they started playing sabahan music. Seriously, i am not being perasan because it has happened to me at least twice. before we came in there was no music at all. i think its quite nice of them to do that, but i should have told them i'm from Sarawak. the next time i go there i'll bring my iban tapes along and tell them to play it when i'm around. Any of you wishing to hear ethnic music should come with me to Cinnabon one day.

On sunday,i spent the morning swimming and trying to undo my muscle aches from last fridays run. then i slept most of the time. In the evening my bro came back from kch, so i had my share of kch food *orgasmic sigh* i also got a look of how my cousin's wedding went. i still wished i was there, weddings are always interesting and fun. the wedding was at the bride's longhouse, and practically my whole kampung went. it takes about 4 hours to reach there. the bride looked very pretty , and my cousin looked okay. i am going to remind him that he needs to lose weight though. i have finised the first diary of adrian mole, i am now in the second book. its quite funny in a dry british way. C'est la vie!

Theme song for this week: Feel Good by Gorrilaz

Happy days

2005-09-15T12:53:00.000+08:00

Yeah, this is me in my past life

i've been blogging about so much depressing stuff that i'm kinda sick of it too. Its the beginning of fall for the western countries, and for me, its the beginning of my mooncake chow down. so far, my mom has resisted all efforts to buy me one, for fear it will add on to my thigh and my butt. i don't know about you guys, but my favorites are the ones where its made out of flour skin and you have to keep it in the fridge. If it comes with a double egg yolk, so much the better!

Oh yeah, IMU cup is coming soon.some games have already started, but i feel like its muted down this year. Probably because the sem 2s and sem 4s are not back yet. its always interesting to take part. I am really not sure if i am going to run this year, there will be a practice tmr. I just hope i can go for the 4x100. if not, maybe the 4x400, though i'm not so keen on the latter. for me its just the sheer fun of doing something else other than studying.And its something to do before i go away from BJ.

i just got my new id card today. its a bit different from the old one. For example, at the back of my card they have put down the standard precautions that must be remembered by students:

1.Handwashing
2.Personal protective equipments
3.Prevention of needle stick

Maybe one day if i do have a concussion, i will thank my uni for reminding me of what i'm supposed to do.

the neuro system has just started this week, and i'm feeling relaxed. the one thing i find amazing was that on the first day itself i went to find reference books. when the whole bunch of us went there, the whole shelf was already ransacked by other students 2 days ago. There we were, the bunch of us standing around, gaping at the war torn bookshelves and not knowing what to do. Finally we just picked up whatever books we could find. Its kinda funny actually, cos the bookshelves did look like it was bombed apart by a mortar shell.

my head is spinning for the neuro anatomy. i have no idea what is important and what i'm supposed to study. it doesn't help that only pictures are given,and the lectures are sometimes conducted in incomprehensible language. i still remember in sem 1 when a friend of mine wrote this down: mortar board. it was actually supposed to be motor cord. and she was shaking her head as she was writing this.

i went to the pasar malam again this week, and a friend of mine really likes the assam laksa there, that she has even suggested to me that we steal the assam laksa van. Can you imagine the both of us selling assam laksa in front of the uni? I would prefer steally the FAtty Steamboat van though, as i am so in love with the food!! I might ship one to kuching one day. I am going to see the zombie movie Land of the Dead because i have never seen a zombie movie before, except for resident evil 4, that is.

And finally, i have realised yet again, that i do need god to help me with my daily life. sometimes you think you can solve things on your own, but in the end, if you don't find the external strength that you need, you'll end up being depressed and broken.

Theme song for this week: Wake me up when September Ends (green day)

Hope all of you will have a good week !

my september

2005-09-14T01:30:00.000+08:00

summer has come to pass,
the innocent can never rest,
wake me up,
when september ends

by Green Day

Just last night i was sitting in my room and contemplating about death. all the events happening so far, a friend losing a family member, hurricane Katrina, soppy romantic mournful poems, unrequited love not being returned, the mortality of human life, was bogging my brain yesterday. There are so many things i can comment upon, but it would be too much for all of you.

1. Death.

I am afraid of death. i am afraid of dying, be it dying in a car accident, when i'm flying over the South China Sea, or even from food poisoning (i kid you not!). Whenever my family flies here from kuching to kl, i worry about them. i worry that theire flight will be ok. i even worry about my mom when she drives to and fro from work every day. i used to take my family for granted a few years back, but not so much now. i used to not be on really good terms with my mom, but now its ok. i guess god has a funny way of patching things up.

2. New Orleans

I know i've never told you all this, but i used to stay here for half a year when i was 9 years old. my whole family stayed there cos my dad was studying there. The school i went to was all black;i was the only asian there. Everyone assumed i was from China. Thank god they didn't try to speak chinese with me. the only other non black was a white girl. i stayed there from winter till end of summer. During that time, i watched the Mardi Gras parade (got lots of bead necklaces), went for church on weekends, then went walking around the riverside. Lousiana is famous for crawfish, its like a little shrimp and the people there eat it like how we eat kuaci. The French Quarters were very intruiging, there were a lot of strip shows, bars, pubs, cafes. All my classmates were really nice to me, and because i was the smallest girl in class, my teachers were nice to me too, especially during gym time, because i couldn't throw the ball in the basketball hoop. the coach practically had to lift me up for me to dunk the ball in.
When i saw the images on cnn about new orleans, i can't help feeling sad. The majority of people there may be black and may be poor, but they're people all the same, and deserve help. its disgusting to know that even in the superdome, rapes can happen, particularly to small children. Bush as usual, has made a mess out of this situation, and i'm glad his ratings are super low. And i don't think New orleans can ever be rebuilt to its former glory.

3. Unrequited passion

Love comes and goes for every person. For me, i think i'm over it. Frankly, i really am not interested in anyone at all at this moment. I guess i don't have the time to look, and i'm quite fed up of playing a cat and mouse game with guys.And i actually give up on love at the moment.If they liked me, all they have to do is say so in front of my face. it'll save the both of us time. i have been reading soppy poems and hearing stories about luurrrve....so much so that i feel nauseated. As much as i like being a kepochi and as much as i care about the people around me, it just frustrates me everytime i see people getting heartbroken. sometimes i wish love was an easy thing, and i would ALWAYS like to see people getting whom they want. But its not so simple, isnt' it? And if they think their hearts are broken, maybe they should also give a thought to their friends who are supporting them too. I am so fed up of people not getting what they want to the point that if someone asks me what to do, i'll just tell them to try and get to know the person better. then maybe you can see if you REALLY want him/her. A crush is just a crush, nothing else. You're just putting the person on a pedestal without ever knowing him/her. So, to all of you out there reading this, if you know the person and really like the person, GO FOR IT? if he/she doesn't like you back, at least you know before its too late and start mooning like a sick cow.

Oh, and the most amusing thing last night was when my mom was watching Barbwire (Pammie's movie). I don't know what she was concentrating on, because there is no storyline for that movie.